Up to Three Submissions for Card:
1. Ethan Ralph will be be facing charges that threaten a sentence of over a year in jail.
2. Nick Fuentes will either sell or abandon Cozy.tv
3. A prominent member of America First will be caught in a gay scandal.
Additional Predictions:
Likely:
1. Ethan Ralph will not see his son more than 3 times in the year 2023.
2. A woman will become pregnant with Ralph's 3rd child. Will somehow continue the barnyard theme.
3. PPP's former posse will become more devoted to gayopping him.
4. The Retarded Phoenix will rise again with yet another show. Will set a weight limit for 2nd chair.
5. Nick Rekieta will have a full Ralpha moment on stream which will be remembered as one of the most epic meltdowns in history.
6. Dick Masterson will yet again damage part of his body in order to avoid Ralph.
7. Other site hosts will begin asking Josh to consult for them on how to protect their sites from cancellation. "Alog, Inc." will be born.
Less-Likely:
1. PPP has a completely mental breakdown. In the midst of a massive boxed wine bender he appears on stream and begins screaming at his enemies and referring to himself as Liquid Ralph.
2. Kanye and Nick start their own church and build a compound in the mid-west. They begin inviting groypers to visit and be cleansed of their base human urges and be taught how to love all men equally and as passionately as God would demand of them.
3. Local Hero Christopher Holloman is honored for for his dedication working with at-risk youth when he forms a curling team that becomes an international competitor. It is said he has trained some of the greatest sweepers of a generation.
4. With the decline and likely implosion of the commentary community as well as his relationship prospects looking slim (lol), Nicholas DeOrio becomes the next man to marry Chantal.
Wtf, lol?
1. In a shocking twist fit for the likes of an episode of Better Call Saul, the Prosecution in the case The United States vs. Ethan Ralph executes a mind boggling maneuver after spending a year researching and studying Kiwi Farms leading to Ralph's eventual incarceration. It is later taught in Harvard Law school as The Haru Technique.
2. As Hollywood continues to run out of ideas and streaming networks become more and more desperate for content, a network executive coming down from a coke bender discovers Cozy.tv and signs Ali Jamal, Beardson Beardly and Chaggot to a multi-year reality series deal where women bring them home to their family for dinner as a means to prank their family.
3. After the sad passing of James Augustine, his lawyer delivers an earth shattering life stream in which he reads the Last Will and Testament of Mister Metokur. In the stream it is revealed that he is actually the long lost oldest son of Ronnie Ralph who had left him in the care of his parents at a young age and had swore to never to reveal this shocking truth or the name his daddy gave him. Furthermore, it was revealed that he secretly had been visiting and caring for the unspoken of Evan Ralph. Forty years later Xander and Rozy still leave flowers on the grave of their Uncle Jim while still attempting to find the headstone of their father as the acid from all the piss on his grave had worn away the lettering.
etc.
