LGBT 4/10 - Chris Comes out as Bisexual

[Porker LeVance]

I have trouble keeping Tumblr-esque concepts like "gender fluidity" and "pansexuality" and "heteronormativity" straight, and you think the guy who can't grasp the concept of "Australia" is supposed to understand that "bisexual" means "being attracted to both genders" and not "having the characteristics of both genders"?

. Very very .

Yeah the Australia ignorance thing with Chris is fucking astounding. Chris is definitely stupid as fuck, but Autism is an extremely inconsistent mental state. Chris has encyclopedic knowledge of MLP, Sonic, etc. I’m probably wrong but I would not be surprised at all that Chris’ homophobia was a cover for being a closeted, confused gay person. He concentrated on boobies to make himself straight! I don’t really give a shit who Chris wants to fuck anyway. Like others have said Chris is only going to be fucking people he pays for the rest of his sad loser life. I mean, unless we get to the point where weens are so desperate for content and a place in Christory that one of them either actually has sex with Chris in an elaborate troll scheme, or Chris will prostitute himself and someone of the @DStecks persuasion will pony up the cash and pay to fuck an Autistic man. Who will it be? What gender? Will they do AMA threads on the Kiwi Farms boards? Will there be consent??!

 

[idosometimes]

Chris wanting to fit neatly into these fag identity boxes is so strange. He is no longer a lesbian, so the flag needs to go (at an inflated price). New flag to perfectly fit his identity.

I'm not really suprised. I always thought Chris was one of those guys who was homophobic because they couldn't cope with their sexuality.

Chris hated fags because of Bob's influence and a general hatred of male JERKS who called him gay in school. He also had weird ideas about sex and love. He never really seemed to grasp that wanting to breed a nice boipucci is completely normal for heterosexual guys and does not mean that you would love or even respect that sexy little twink. He had weird traditional views mixed with "knowledge" from porn and "educational" videos. Coupled with a low iq and autism, things got really weird.

 

[Marvin]

He never really seemed to grasp that wanting to breed a nice boipucci is completely normal for heterosexual guys

nigga u gay

 

[For The Internet]

I think he thinks it means he accepts transwomen as sweethearts or whatever. My money isn't on pickle swallowing.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

I think he thinks it means he accepts transwomen as sweethearts or whatever. My money isn't on pickle swallowing.

I think he thinks it matches his self-description of "both a straight man into women and a lesbian into women." New heartsweet has already begun the trolling.

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

I don't know why the hell so many of you think gay men are going to be attracted to him. He's a MTF tranny, we only go for guys who look/act/dress like guys. If we were attracted to someone who nominally presents as female, then we'd be bi not gay.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I’ve just realised the implication of this is now there’s no way a woman can politely turn down Chris’s advances, say you’re straight and Chris can say he’s still got his damn near seven incher, if you’re a lesbian that’s okay because he’s legally and spiritually a woman and now if you say you’re actually a trans man that’s okay because Chris is bi, but what if you’ve already got a partner? That’s okay too, he’s poly.

 

[OrsonZedd]

I'm not sure he knows what bisexual means. But I am still pretty sure he's closeted gay.

 

[EnixSquared]

What?!?! I thought we were the homos?!?! Every last one of us!

 

[DragoonSierra]

And thus half of Kiwi Farms started drooling...

 

[Duck and Turn]

Strange how this came out after him claiming he's having a three-way relationship.

Could it be that a straight couple is trying to get him in bed to be their cuck? It wouldn't be far fetched considering he once said he would sleep with gay men if Ivy wanted him to.

 

[The Dude]

If this doesn't end with Chris biting the pillow as some Green Mile-looking bull queer raw-dogs him, I will be very disappointed.

In all seriousness though, I doubt Chris is really sexually attracted to guys now. If this isn't some Idea Guy wannabe messing with him, then at best I'm guessing Chris is only "bi" as far as pre-op FTM and possibly post-op MTF trannies go. And even the post-op MTF is really stretching it, because Chris still knows they were born male and had ducks at one point, and I don't think Chris could ever look past that.

 

[Nikachu]

Silence Of The Lambs 2: Hello, Ivy

So you basically had a dream about Chris kidnapping you, then forcing himself onto you??? Fucking horrifying.

No. He didn't kidnap me, I was there willingly. He just tried to keep me there (unlawful restraint?) and held on to me as I dragged him out into a hallway, trying to escape. He didn't force me or anything like that.. But you know how you just know things in your dreams even when it isn't spoken out loud? I just somehow knew that was his intention. It really was scary because it felt so real. This happened during a time I was reading the Cwcki a lot, and I always experience nightmares, sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming, recurrent and continuing dreams, etc., so my sleep is all kinds of fucked up to begin with. Horrifying indeed.

 

[Rio]

here's my pet theory: he's recently been talking about having a sweetheart(s), which we all know is most likely a troll. Maybe said sweetheart came out as a transman and told Chris that he needs to acknowledge them as a man or they'll break up.

 

[rizlajizzla]

Honestly, I am not surprised by this. And I wasn't surprised when Chris started identifying as transgender, either.

Chris has always shown some signs of self-hating bisexuality/homosexuality, and also showed signs of mild gender dysphoria. I mean, even when he was "Classic" Chris, he was a raging misandrist and was a huge fan of girly media franchises (Chris loved MLP years before bronies were a thing).

I sort of figured that his misandry was a mix of repression and self-hatred over possible gay tendencies, and this revelation makes it even more readily apparent.

But because of Chris's severe autism and generally low intelligence, he doesn't fully comprehend such concepts as gender and sexuality, instead regurgitating what he sees on TV and the internet.

Very well said. He can read. He doesn't understand the complexity of the idea, but he fucking well knows what the word means!

 

[Sasquatch82]

His hatred of pickles was a classic case of Freudian displacement after all.

 

[A fucking idiot]

Whoa, didn't see that one coming.
I mean, I knew Chris was kinda gay, but I never thought he'd actually admit it.

 

[Seahorses]

Time to trade the Kimmi doll for a Jimmi?

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

Chris has encyclopedic knowledge of MLP, Sonic, etc.

He even fails at that and has other autists beat him. His head is like a bucket with a hole in it, that's how the whole Idea Guy pseudo-saga was able to happen.

 

[FinalSolution]

here's my pet theory: he's recently been talking about having a sweetheart(s), which we all know is most likely a troll. Maybe said sweetheart came out as a transman and told Chris that he needs to acknowledge them as a man or they'll break up.

That is my best guess too. Whilst Chris is almost certainly a latent homosexual it's buried so deeply there's no way he'd admit to himself he wants the pickle. But he's always been happy to 'misspeak' to 'girlfriends' to get the relationship he's desperate for.