LGBT 4/10 - Chris Comes out as Bisexual

[MahFibro!]

If done well it could be an amazing biopic, but no major studio would finance a movie about an autistic manchild who was repeatedly tricked into shoving things up his ass by random people pretending to be girls online.

I'm sure the Lifetime Network would be pleased as punch to make a movie based around CWC's life. That studio loves making shitty movies where they spin the story in order to convince the audience to sympathize with the worst kinds of people.

 

[Maxliam]

I'm sure the Lifetime Network would be pleased as punch to make a movie based around CWC's life. That studio loves making shitty movies where they spin the story in order to convince the audience to sympathize with the worst kinds of people.

Still would be less retarded than the TV movie hallmark made with Rosie O'Donnell.

 

[TheUltimatePickle]

It’s all because the Sailor Moon poster was destroyed in the fire.

 

[NavyGuzzler]

This is actually gennuinely worrisome if true. The odds of Chris finding a male partner or love interest are actually higher than that of his finding a female. Dudes will fuck anything. And there are definitely sick fucks out there that would bang Chris. Hell, even Fire/Buffalo Bill/Terra Jones/whatever is getting his hole pounded on the regular ("Condom! Condom!"). Given the relative instability and volatility of gay relationships in general, and the fact that anyone who would date/mate/even associate with Chris obviously has a few screws loose besides, there is a high probability of Chris starting down a very dangerous path. That's assuming that a) any of this is true, b) Chris knows what bisexual means, c) this isn't just an attempt to shock Barb to death so he has one less mouth to feed and can spend more money on Lego. Seriously, though, this is not good. Chris is likely so starved for romantic and sexual attention (as evidenced by the many love sagas) that he would probably put up with all kinds of abuse from anyone who touched his peepee. And, being somewhat, er... disadvantaged, shall we say, there is a very high chance of his attracting predatory individuals. As much as I enjoy laughing at and about Chris, I really hope this isn't true.

 

[Yop Yop]

This is actually gennuinely worrisome if true. The odds of Chris finding a male partner or love interest are actually higher than that of his finding a female. Dudes will fuck anything. And there are definitely sick fucks out there that would bang Chris. Hell, even Fire/Buffalo Bill/Terra Jones/whatever is getting his hole pounded on the regular ("Condom! Condom!"). Given the relative instability and volatility of gay relationships in general, and the fact that anyone who would date/mate/even associate with Chris obviously has a few screws loose besides, there is a high probability of Chris starting down a very dangerous path. That's assuming that a) any of this is true, b) Chris knows what bisexual means, c) this isn't just an attempt to shock Barb to death so he has one less mouth to feed and can spend more money on Lego. Seriously, though, this is not good. Chris is likely so starved for romantic and sexual attention (as evidenced by the many love sagas) that he would probably put up with all kinds of abuse from anyone who touched his peepee. And, being somewhat, er... disadvantaged, shall we say, there is a very high chance of his attracting predatory individuals. As much as I enjoy laughing at and about Chris, I really hope this isn't true.

We've been gleefully watching people abuse Chris for a decade and now that's he's bisexual you feel bad?

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

Pretty soon Chris dons problem glasses, gets dangerhair and tattoos, then identifies as a "demifluid pansexual non-binary attack helicopter?"

Chris has been God-kin even before the day he put on a skirt.

To well adjusted people, certainly, it might as well be the same thing.

But if we're talking lolcows, and specifically Chris, I think it's an important distinction because I think a lot of people believe that Chris actually thinks "she wants to suck on my penis, I think she even said that right now". Like that level of "literally", y'know?

If you understand that Chris doesn't literally believe Megan wants to fuck him and that he's aware that she's merely a friend, then where does that leave us?

It means Chris is like any other garden variety neckbeard who complains about the friend zone. Neckbeards believe that spending time with women will cause them to gradually change their minds, like how it happens in their japanese animes. Or like in romcoms like Pretty Woman.

The main difference is that Chris is way funnier and way more obvious about it than your average neckbeard.

As a counter example, look at this disturbing page below, from Sonichu #7.

Spoiler: A look into Chris's mind

You can make the argument that Chris always interpreted Megan's niceness as romantic interest, or at least "really caring" about him. This page seems to imply that the (no doubt many) times Megan attempted to deflect Chris's advances with niceties, Chris saw it as a woman who was so excited by Chris, she had no choice but to change the subject.

Time to trade the Kimmi doll for a Jimmi?

Chris may finally be gay, but he still hates the niggos.

 

[Pepito The Cat]

I think he thinks it means he accepts transwomen as sweethearts or whatever. My money isn't on pickle swallowing.

I don't think so either, especially because this wouldn't be a Chris thing unless is exceptional as all hell. He probably means he's open to post-ops or some shit that doesn't really change his ways too much. He's basically saying "I'll take natural or even artificial china!"

 

[Marvin]

As a counter example, look at this disturbing page below, from Sonichu #7.

Spoiler: A look into Chris's mind

You can make the argument that Chris always interpreted Megan's niceness as romantic interest, or at least "really caring" about him. This page seems to imply that the (no doubt many) times Megan attempted to deflect Chris's advances with niceties, Chris saw it as a woman who was so excited by Chris, she had no choice but to change the subject.

?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He wants her to be his girlfriend but she's not. He doesn't think she's his girlfriend. He thinks he's got a chance.

 

[Porker LeVance]

And thus half of Kiwi Farms started drooling...

Every last member of this board should get the chance to butt-bang Christine’s tight virgin cherry ass, or go for a ride on the Near 7 Incher Damn Cock, respectively.

 

[jace821]

Chris craves china

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He wants her to be his girlfriend but she's not. He doesn't think she's his girlfriend. He thinks he's got a chance.

Well, yeah, but th m there was the "she cares about me part", which we know she did not. She only cared to take advantage, so Chris was being delisonal.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Chris always tries to fit stuff into his bunghole

FTFY

 

[Marvin]

Well, yeah, but th m there was the "she cares about me part", which we know she did not. She only cared to take advantage, so Chris was being delisonal.

They were friends. Chris thought she cared about him substantially more than she actually did. But they were still genuinely friends to some degree.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

I realized you kind of need to look at this through a SJW filter. I'm pretty sure the trolls pointed out the logical fallacy of Chris being okay with fucking transmen and identifying as a lesbian. I do wonder if Chris would consider dating someone on the level of Buck Angel, who never had the operation and never will. Like is china that important to him?

 

[Vorhtbame]

I am reminded by this of JenkinsJinkies.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I am reminded by this of JenkinsJinkies.

I have always wondered if any of those "gay cub scout" stories were legitimately true, or parts of them. It seems really weird for Chris to have pulled out of his ass on the fly as a "bullshit" story.

Maybe some bad thing happened at scout camp that made him hate the gays so much over the year.

I know, I know, speculating.

 

[Night Stars Brother]

I wonder if chris knows what that means. Does he actually like Duck and China?

Or is it something more like, he sees himself as both genders, so he sees himself as both straight and a lesbian?

Or is it because he likes tranny women, since tranny women are “men” he’s bisexual?

This just raises to many questions

 

[zap2theextreme]

I've always thought Chris had deep seated repressed homosexuality. The panic attacks upon seeing penises, hatred of males, experimenting with dildos, literally hearing voices in his head calling him gay, it's obvious really.

 

[James Howlett]

I wonder if chris knows what that means. Does he actually like Duck and China?

Or is it something more like, he sees himself as both genders, so he sees himself as both straight and a lesbian?

Or is it because he likes tranny women, since tranny women are “men” he’s bisexual?

This just raises to many questions

Too many questions, only one answer:

Spoiler

:autism:

 

[MahFibro!]

Well, yeah, but th m there was the "she cares about me part", which we know she did not. She only cared to take advantage, so Chris was being delisonal.

There's also the fact that she repeatedly told him to stop touching her; a simple request that CWC either chose to ignore or selectively 'forgot' about.

Last I checked, when girls tell you they don't want you touching them, it's a hint they're just not into you.