Age Gap Relationships - You can't stop me from doing your grandma... but I'll stop myself, because I respect you

[Piggy Higuera]

It's wholly relevant. It's a completely arbitrary calculation based on no principle, but the only reason why you find violations of that convention objectionable is because you give credence to the objection in the first place-- either because you enjoyed Friends, or because you had no reason to be skeptical of it at the time you accepted it. It's circularly justified.

I wouldn't date anyone regardless of age if they thought everything came from shitty pop culture. The half your age plus 7 thing was around before Friends, I don't know why you keep pushing that point, it's like saying there was no masturbation before Seinfeld or gay men before Frasier.

And it wasn't arbitrary, it lines up with fertility ages when the man is the older one. A 60 year old man could still have a kid with a 37 year old woman and they're both mature adults in society while a 70 year old man shouldn't be thinking about it or he'll have a heart attack. A 30 year old man established in a career could take care of a 22 year old woman and a young family. A 21 year old and a 18 year old is a barely noticably age difference.

Sure, none of that matters with our "we can do whatever we want but now I wonder why everything's collapsing and we're all depressed and angry when we can fuck whomever whenever however so maybe that wasn't the most important thing after all but it's too late to change it" culture, but standards and conventions formed over time for reasons. You just need to meet poly people to understand why that got stamped out by society pretty quickly.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

The half your age plus 7 thing was around before Friends, I don't know why you keep pushing that point, it's like saying there was no masturbation before Seinfeld or gay men before Frasier.

Now that I think about it, there might have been something about this calculation in Deuteronomy...

And it wasn't arbitrary, it lines up with fertility ages

That's not the reason for the rule that's given-- that doesn't make any sense. The fertility of the two parties are independent of each other.

It's literally about "things being weird" or something else equally vacuous.

Sure, none of that matters with our "we can do whatever we want but now I wonder why everything's collapsing and we're all depressed and angry when we can fuck whomever whenever however so maybe that wasn't the most important thing after all but it's too late to change it" culture, but standards and conventions formed over time for reasons.

The former standards and conventions were concerned with marriage and procreation. The standard that you're defending now is concerned with "not being weird", dating, and recreational sex.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

My last ex was a woman that was 15 years older than I was, and it was the best relationshiop I've ever had.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm just sick and tired of the bullshit, and I tend to get along better with older women because most of them feel the same way. New York, even outside of the city, has pretty slim pickings to begin with. 20 year olds are more career focused, and 30 year olds have no fucking clue what they want. Doesn't help that ever since 2016 majority of them lost their fucking minds and won't date anyone that has a different political outlook to them. Grated, it makes it easier to weed out the crazies, but when almost ALL of them are, it goes from being a guessing game, to finding a needle in a haystack.

 

[JohnMadman]

Currently husband is 21 years older than me. Our relationship has lasted over a decade so far.
I prefer older men because you know what you're getting. That and it's easier to find an older guy who also doesn't want kids.

The downside is my husband will get old and annoying long before I do. I can cope with saggy testicles but I don't look forward to the upcoming perils of old age.

 

[Piggy Higuera]

The former standards and conventions were concerned with marriage and procreation. The standard that you're defending now is concerned with "not being weird", dating, and recreational sex.

I'm not even defending it, just explaining why it may have come about and that anyone who says that this never existed before Friends should be studied by experts. It was a strange point to push in one post, then you brought it up in a second one so it's clearly in your craw. I don't give a shit about the stupid drunk uncle "I can still fuck a chick in her 20s" joke formula, I'm just fascinated by someone whose consciousness doesn't reach back before Friends. It's a goofy point of reference and I'd like to understand it better. Show me on the doll where Courteney Cox touched you.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I'm not even defending it, just explaining why it may have come about

I don't give a shit about the stupid drunk uncle "I can still fuck a chick in her 20s" joke formula,

Earlier:

And it wasn't arbitrary, it lines up with fertility ages when the man is the older one. A 60 year old man could still have a kid with a 37 year old woman and they're both mature adults in society while a 70 year old man shouldn't be thinking about it or he'll have a heart attack. A 30 year old man established in a career could take care of a 22 year old woman and a young family. A 21 year old and a 18 year old is a barely noticably age difference.

Sure, none of that matters with our "we can do whatever we want but now I wonder why everything's collapsing and we're all depressed and angry when we can fuck whomever whenever however so maybe that wasn't the most important thing after all but it's too late to change it" culture, but standards and conventions formed over time for reasons.

You clearly care to defend this rule of thumb, to the point that you fashioned a definitive explanation for it that-- on top of not making sense in its own right-- has nothing to do with the given intent for the rule of thumb (which is essentially "how young can I go to have sex before I 'look skeevy'", a fairly recent concern). You even brought the destructive laissez-faire attitude of current society into it.

I doubt that the equation-- specifically-- predates Friends, and I doubt that most current references aren't traced to (rather than through) it. Feel free to explain how I'm wrong while I try to find the rule in Leviticus (I didn't find anything in Deuteronomy).

That said, this is all secondary to the reality that it's grounded in nothing except one's own personal revulsion (which is created by their acceptance of the rule in the first place, should they do so).

 

[Johnny Salami]

It’s because white women are so privileged that any inconveniences they face are now considered deep societal problems. A “career” woman in her late 30s with over 100 notches on her bedpost and can’t find a man to settle down with sees her male cohorts in relationships with younger women. Therefore age gaps are a crisis that must be addressed immediately. Even if she dated older men when she was younger, that doesn’t matter, the concept of hypocrisy or accepting consequences for her actions is something she doesn’t believes applies to her.

After some run in with some old high school flames I'm convinced in the upcoming years women will loby to have rules regarding age gaps in relationships and congress might actually pass something since they fear the screeching harlots

I'm sure there are situations where it can work out, but there are probably underlying issues normally.

I always hear true and honest women say that it's men with developed issues that go after younger girls. And I say it women with other issues that are saying this

 

[Retink]

I always hear true and honest women say that it's men with developed issues that go after younger girls. And I say it women with other issues that are saying this

Really depends on the age gap and what ages people are, as a dude in their late 20's dating an 18 year old probably has problems. A dude in his 30's dating a mid 20 something is a lot less strange. I also think a lot of people also delude themselves in those, and many other relationships, and don't determine who is generally in charge of their family goals.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

It's not optimally safe for a woman to give birth before 25 (when pelvic bone widening and development is finished), her eggs are at risk of starting to get defective at 35 and her eggs are very very likely to be defective at 40. Men also don't finish their second puberty until 25 (brain development, muscle definition, skeletal development, squaring of the jaw), their zygotes also start to get iffy at 35 and they're also at a very high risk for causing birth defects with their zygotes at age 40. Age 50+ and you're more likely than not to give any kids you have autism, down syndrome, etc. Basically, a 25 year old or younger and a 35 year old or older are already a bad combination. And that's just the breeding aspect tip of one hell of an iceberg. If that sounds like a mess waiting to happen, that's nothing compared to the list of psychological and social ramifications and implications on the relationship and on raising the child. A big age gap is a shitshow regardless of if it's the man or the woman who's younger, but one's still obviously worse than the other.

Genuinely wish age gaps bigger than 10 years in general would be outlawed based on this alone. If anyone wants to cry about "but wut if one's sterile?" or "wut if dey homo?", just point at laws against incest for not making exceptions or something. Still gross and immoral, plus shit like "impossible pregnancies" happen where one person was supposedly sterile from old age, illness, etc. As fun as it is to watch CWC documentaries, we don't need potato production continuing in our species because some grandpa-age man and some middle-age woman want to bone anyone, much less each other, and gamble with those spoiled zygotes. Old men taking advantage of literal teenage girls is way more common and would be nipped in the bud along with those creepy menopausal women who hang around high schools dressed like whores to hit on hormone-addled teenage boys.

Disclaimer: I'm sure there are exceptions, but exceptions don't make rules and they're still creepy for hooking up with someone young enough to be their niece/nephew.

Dudes who minmax female fertility based on age like this should not be surprised they are single. My grandmother speedran her last child at 50 and my aunt is healthy. Cope.

 

[mogmogdog]

What I wonder about with the old man/ young woman relationships is the fact that women tend to live longer than men.

I think this is what really bums me out about age gap relationships, it feels unfair that one partner will have to be their partners nurse into old age and death, while then most likely dying alone after that. If an older man marries a woman 20 years younger than him, he'll likely die 25-30 years before she does

 

[Ser Prize]

After some run in with some old high school flames I'm convinced in the upcoming years women will loby to have rules regarding age gaps in relationships and congress might actually pass something since they fear the screeching harlots

I always hear true and honest women say that it's men with developed issues that go after younger girls. And I say it women with other issues that are saying this

Yeah, I can totally see the feminist lobbies pushing to raise the age of consent to 25 or something equally wacky.

 

[Banquet Meal]

Dudes who minmax female fertility based on age like this should not be surprised they are single. My grandmother speedran her last child at 50 and my aunt is healthy. Cope.

it can go either way..i had my 1st at 17, and my last/8th at 40. my last was born completely healthy with zero issue, while one of my kids born when i was in my early 30s had extensive health issues. ( our last was unplanned, needless to say)
that said, a lot of people think the baby store is shut for business the moment a woman hits her late 30s, but that is definitely not true at all, i know women who had their last child in their mid 50s, no problem.

 

[Chuck McGill]

Dudes who minmax female fertility based on age like this should not be surprised they are single. My grandmother speedran her last child at 50 and my aunt is healthy. Cope.

Did she give birth to a literal potato?

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I can't believe I agree with HHH, but an acceptable gap for me is 5+/-, for both men and women. More than that it's gross.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

And this is just for the 'tism. There are loads of other birth defects caused by immature and age-defective gametes and underdeveloped hips.

Stay mad, sexpests. Taking it out on me won't get you a bride young enough to be your niece or daughter. Guess you'll just have to buy a brown girl from a third world country to have your little mutt tater tots with like every other lowlife loser predator. If I start watching 90 Day Fiance again when you're 40+ I'll shoot you some fan mail.

 

[lostpwgoesbrrrr]

Glad I found this thread. Bumping it instead of creating a new one.

I knew someone who's in one.

I'm against them because I'm not in one.

Just kidding. I think it's a stupid fetish, on the same level as foot fetish. And should be treated with animosity.

I'm with a job agency and worked a temporary construction job between July and November and one of my colleagues, who's with my job agency, is dating a woman 7 years older than him. They've been dating for 3 years. Dude is 27 and his S/O 34.

Plot twist, that woman was his/our superior for the construction job. Something unethical is clearly happening here.

At first we never knew, maybe except the snr site boss, they were in a relationship but there were small signs, like the both of them leaving the site for lunch and them arriving and getting in the same car to go home, half the time his car and her car.

Toolbox meeting was called by the snr site manager just after lunch and signs were confirmed. Dude proposed to his girlfriend infront of everyone and she foolishly said yes. People were foolishly clapping, smiling and cheering like sheep. Some were filming it. I did too and snitched to our job agency by emailing them the video. Surely there's something here that violates agency policy.

Next day at work, we are short one person. The dude who proposed to his girlfriend. Our superior tells the 11 of us her fiancé has been blacklisted by the agency.

Unironically proud of what I did, unrepentant and unapologetic.

We followed each other on instagram at first but I unfollowed after he stopped turning up and I followed with a dummy account. Took a peep at his IG couple hours ago, they were relaxing on a beach in Indonesia.

I pray for the downfall of their "relationship".

To me age gap relationships are basically "tell me you wanna fuck your mum's friends without telling me you wanna". If the ages don't touch, neither should you.

 

[Linako 2.0]

This seems to be mostly an Anglo speaking problem.
Everyone else doesn't care.

 

[Kiwisee]

Might be a power level, but I have a friend whose a professional matchmaker and I had an interesting conversation with her regarding age gaps and relationship expectations.

To sum it up:

Both sexes have completely unrealistic expectations when it comes to younger partners. While taking care of a younger partner sounds fun at first, a lot of men end up walking away once the financial burden becomes too much. This goes double if the younger woman in question has never worked a day in her life and just wants a glorified sugar daddy.

She told me there was one guy, 42, got married to a 22 year old that were paired up. He’s an accomplished medical malpractice lawyer who was pretty set for life wealth wise; until his 22 year old wife wanted to live the life of a socialite just to impress people on Twitter and Instagram. She insisted on travelling all over Europe and East Asia for the “aesthetics” that it would add to her “influencer profile”. She started taking out credit cards in both of their names to buy designer clothes that she’d only wear once for the likes/retweets; and in no time, he was several thousands of dollars in debt.

The wife just assumed he’d be fine with paying off those expenses without giving anything in return in that relationship. She turned around and cheated on him with another “influencer”, because she suddenly wanted a younger partner. Being married to a lawyer with a decent income just stopped being good enough for her.

the matchmaker then told me a few more similar stories, some of which involved lonely women being taken advantage of in a similar way as the lawyer.

That’s the risk of dating much younger people when you’ve got money and a solid career; an attractive young partner can quickly turn into a nightmare scenario really fast if it’s a relationship built on a shallow foundation.

There’s also other intergenerational issues as well; such as having different values. If you’re a conservative gen x for example, finding a conservative Zoomer who isn’t mildly woke would be a challenge.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Glad I found this thread. Bumping it instead of creating a new one.

I knew someone who's in one.

I'm against them because I'm not in one.

Just kidding. I think it's a stupid fetish, on the same level as foot fetish. And should be treated with animosity.

I'm with a job agency and worked a temporary construction job between July and November and one of my colleagues, who's with my job agency, is dating a woman 7 years older than him. They've been dating for 3 years. Dude is 27 and his S/O 34.

Plot twist, that woman was his/our superior for the construction job. Something unethical is clearly happening here.

At first we never knew, maybe except the snr site boss, they were in a relationship but there were small signs, like the both of them leaving the site for lunch and them arriving and getting in the same car to go home, half the time his car and her car.

Toolbox meeting was called by the snr site manager just after lunch and signs were confirmed. Dude proposed to his girlfriend infront of everyone and she foolishly said yes. People were foolishly clapping, smiling and cheering like sheep. Some were filming it. I did too and snitched to our job agency by emailing them the video. Surely there's something here that violates agency policy.

Next day at work, we are short one person. The dude who proposed to his girlfriend. Our superior tells the 11 of us her fiancé has been blacklisted by the agency.

Unironically proud of what I did, unrepentant and unapologetic.

We followed each other on instagram at first but I unfollowed after he stopped turning up and I followed with a dummy account. Took a peep at his IG couple hours ago, they were relaxing on a beach in Indonesia.

I pray for the downfall of their "relationship".

To me age gap relationships are basically "tell me you wanna fuck your mum's friends without telling me you wanna". If the ages don't touch, neither should you.

Wow. So in sum, the guy you spitefully went out of your way to get fired the day after his engagement is relaxing on an exotic beach and in a happy, long-term relationship heading to marriage, while you...kept your temp job, and spend your time stalking him and seething.

Keep winning, guy.

[Re-think your life.]

(Not even going to comment on the nothing age gap. 7 years older is not parent territory.)

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

the matchmaker then told me a few more similar stories, some of which involved lonely women being taken advantage of in a similar way as the lawyer.

I'm curious as to what the younger man could spend the money on. Hookers and blow? NEETDOM?