Alcoholism Support Thread - Down the hatch

[dick brain]

I don't have a creative soul,

Don't sell yourself short, you're great at creating excuses.

Yet I haven't drank in like 2 months and don't really feel inclined to,

That's great though, good job.

At this point I really don't know what to tell you besides try an antidepressant or mindfulness meditation or something else correlated against depression. You say you need to feel like you're progressing towards something, how about your mental health? Then again you say training for the sake of training is boring. But I don't know, my life is fucked up and retarded and I have a a bunch of baggage about it but I still sit down and read about psychology and neurobiology and meditate and exercise and spend time in nature and try to get better because the alternatives are killing myself or killing myself slower, and if getting better doesn't work I can always kill myself afterward. And in trying to get better I've found ways to have fun in spite of it all. It's worth a try.

And yeah, having friends helps.

 

[Pork Wellington]

Well, the party is over for me. The 4 litres of full-strength beer most nights of the week has finally caught up to me. My blood pressure is 185/120, despite being fit and strong. I noticed the hangovers have become legendary lately.
So, I now don't have a choice but to put the tins down, else have my heart explode in my chest.
Hopefully one day I can at least have a few mid-strengths on the weekend.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

At this point I really don't know what to tell you besides try an antidepressant or mindfulness meditation or something else correlated against depression. You say you need to feel like you're progressing towards something, how about your mental health?

I fast every day, I've removed so much bloat from my life (and my apartment). My phone is practically barren. I've run out of things to remove which is exactly why I relapse now and then; absolute boredom. I've drank twice the last month and I still get that "damn, I could go the rest of my life without a hangover" which is enticing but then the boredom strikes 3 weeks later again.

 

[Absolutego]

Today marks 90 days since my last drink.
It's the longest I've gone without one since I first left home at 18. I had to damn near lose everything (including my life) to do it, but I'm truly glad that, for now at least, I appear to be taking the right steps forward. Even when I'm in a fantastically shitty mood, craving oblivion, I don't default to wanting to flee from my problems and crawl into a bottle of bourbon.
Any normie would look at my situation from the outside and conclude my life is in tatters, but for the first time I can remember I've consistently been experiencing joy and positivity along the sadness and cynicism.

 

[Pork Wellington]

Today marks 90 days since my last drink.
It's the longest I've gone without one since I first left home at 18. I had to damn near lose everything (including my life) to do it, but I'm truly glad that, for now at least, I appear to be taking the right steps forward. Even when I'm in a fantastically shitty mood, craving oblivion, I don't default to wanting to flee from my problems and crawl into a bottle of bourbon.
Any normie would look at my situation from the outside and conclude my life is in tatters, but for the first time I can remember I've consistently been experiencing joy and positivity along the sadness and cynicism.

This brightened my day. I'm really pleased to hear this! Congrats.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

Today marks 90 days since my last drink.
It's the longest I've gone without one since I first left home at 18. I had to damn near lose everything (including my life) to do it, but I'm truly glad that, for now at least, I appear to be taking the right steps forward. Even when I'm in a fantastically shitty mood, craving oblivion, I don't default to wanting to flee from my problems and crawl into a bottle of bourbon.
Any normie would look at my situation from the outside and conclude my life is in tatters, but for the first time I can remember I've consistently been experiencing joy and positivity along the sadness and cynicism.

That's fucking excellent. You're free. I'm happy for you, and I hope you feel some pride in that accomplishment.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Today marks 90 days since my last drink.
It's the longest I've gone without one since I first left home at 18. I had to damn near lose everything (including my life) to do it, but I'm truly glad that, for now at least, I appear to be taking the right steps forward. Even when I'm in a fantastically shitty mood, craving oblivion, I don't default to wanting to flee from my problems and crawl into a bottle of bourbon.
Any normie would look at my situation from the outside and conclude my life is in tatters, but for the first time I can remember I've consistently been experiencing joy and positivity along the sadness and cynicism.

90 days is nothing to sniff your nose at. Congratulations and keep working at it. It only gets better. A sober life is second to none.

Dealing with negative emotions without going into the bottle is probably the hardest part, so you're already on the right track.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Today marks 90 days since my last drink.
It's the longest I've gone without one since I first left home at 18. I had to damn near lose everything (including my life) to do it, but I'm truly glad that, for now at least, I appear to be taking the right steps forward. Even when I'm in a fantastically shitty mood, craving oblivion, I don't default to wanting to flee from my problems and crawl into a bottle of bourbon.
Any normie would look at my situation from the outside and conclude my life is in tatters, but for the first time I can remember I've consistently been experiencing joy and positivity along the sadness and cynicism.

They spoke of this child-at-heart coworker we once had the other day. Apparently one time she got so drunk she stole a >cow< and rode it home, leashing it to a light post outside and going to sleep. Those stories are fun and upbeat but at the same time, the idea of living a life without ever being drunk; without ever not being in control, sounds short of a superpower. She was part of this general socialization group called "The Smile Crew", and when her man walked out on her, her genuine gut reaction was "haha, guess I haven't been smiling as much as I promised the girls!".

Anyway, buckled twice in the last month, after 3-4 of not drinking. I've more or less quit coffee from day next to next going on months with no big issues, so it really just is the culture behind why I started drinking that keeps me at it. Absolute boredom; 'something could happen if I get drunk, cause it used to'. I've had those ideas of going for a walk when I get the urge but really, you can't do that reliably 3-4 times a week (I only get the urge on fridays, meaning I'd basically schedule a friday walking which sounds abhorrent).

I enjoy waking up 6:30AM regardless if I got the day off or not, so that should be a motivation to not drink. I think the fact I don't wanna be sober is what hurts me cause a binary decision would be easy. I don't wanna give up beer on new year's 9 years from now when I'm balls deep in a dame and got two kids (as if ), but at the same time why not? I'd surely be high on life rather than hops at that point..

 

[world of shit]

So, I stuck with my taper plan. It was probably not necessary, but wanted to minimize any sleep, work, or health related problems from just white knuckling it. Also, there's some research that tapering keeps cravings, relapse, etc down because it creates more of a natural gaba recovery in the brain, rather than a sudden rubberband jolt to them brain chems. I went from a 2 year habit of ~4-8 shots a night, to 1.5 shots at a .5 shot reduction per week. Once i hit the 1 shot/night mark, I jumped off.

For the first 2 nights, sleep was a bit of an issue, and noticed some heart palpitations and rapid pulse, but nothing serious. It wasn't too bad all in all, but without CBD/THC edibles, sleep would probably have been an issue.

Offically 2 weeks no booze...pretty much zero cravings or desire to drink, quite the opposite in fact.

If you have the willpower and schedule to do this, I highly recommend it.

 

[world of shit]

I don't have a creative soul, I don't yearn to try shit for the fun of it.

Here's the trick. Creativity is a muscle and you have to carve it into your brain and will yourself to do it. No one is 'creative', what they do is focus attention and energy towards something, practice, and shit comes out. 99% of the stuff you'll produce will be dogshit, but you'll find something that catches your ear or eye, and then THAT will be the spark.

I done music all my life, and let me tell you the biggest secret I've found: Behind all the shitty ideas, are the good ideas.

Make things, even things you don't like. The important part is to finish the fucking project. I will often have to write 2-3 songs I don't like before stumbling upon something I'm proud of.

Also, you need to start lifting weights or doing something physically hard to get yourself out of mopey-self-pity-party you have going on right now. I promise you: take a picture of yourself right now....save it on your phone, don't look at it for 3 months. Get on any beginner weightlifting program, circle a date on a calendar in exactly 3 months. After 3 months of weightlifting, take another picture and compare. You'll be very proud of yourself and realize what you can just fucking do, if you set yourself out to do it.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

Well I've been trying to lose weight for a while and it turns out hopping back on the no-food-only-booze regimen is working pretty well
I'll find rock bottom again someday soon, til then, bottoms up

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

Well I've been trying to lose weight for a while and it turns out hopping back on the no-food-only-booze regimen is working pretty well
I'll find rock bottom again someday soon, til then, bottoms up

You'll end up with ascites and get a fat face anyways. I had a regular patient I'd take to the hospital to get his abdomen drained maybe 3 or 4 times a week.

He died last night. Looked like he was 9 months pregnant with triplets. He was 50 something. It's not a pretty way to die.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

You'll end up with ascites and get a fat face anyways. I had a regular patient I'd take to the hospital to get his abdomen drained maybe 3 or 4 times a week.

He died last night. Looked like he was 9 months pregnant with triplets. He was 50 something. It's not a pretty way to die.

Hey, I saw you're EMS too. I also had a patient a while ago at the end stage of alcoholism and after we hauled him back into his house from the ER he was just screaming bloody murder at his family to get him more liquor. Dude was so neuropathic he couldn't sit up unassisted and his mental faculties were shot a long time ago. They brought him more drinks before we even left the house.
I thought about that call for a while like looking at my future self in the mirror
Doesn't it feel weird taking care of all the alkies? Hypocritical almost

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

Hey, I saw you're EMS too. I also had a patient a while ago at the end stage of alcoholism and after we hauled him back into his house from the ER he was just screaming bloody murder at his family to get him more liquor. Dude was so neuropathic he couldn't sit up unassisted and his mental faculties were shot a long time ago. They brought him more drinks before we even left the house.
I thought about that call for a while like looking at my future self in the mirror
Doesn't it feel weird taking care of all the alkies? Hypocritical almost

We're only separated from those dudes by a cunt hair. It's all the lesson I need to know complete abstinence is the only way for me to function. It's easy to hate those frequent flyers, but if I'm being honest with myself, I am those people. I just hold it together better. So far anyway.

You 911 or transport?

 

[Second Alter Ego]

We're only separated from those dudes by a cunt hair. It's all the lesson I need to know complete abstinence is the only way for me to function. It's easy to hate those frequent flyers, but if I'm being honest with myself, I am those people. I just hold it together better. So far anyway.

You 911 or transport?

IFT, we only get a real weewoo about once a month and it's always fucking peds...
> if I'm being honest with myself, I am those people.
That's always the most jarring part of it, being confronted with the consequences of your own behavior that hasn't reached you yet or already did a long time ago
I"m probably going to finish this 750 of vodka within the next hour

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Well I've been trying to lose weight for a while and it turns out hopping back on the no-food-only-booze regimen is working pretty well
I'll find rock bottom again someday soon, til then, bottoms up

Do the right thing, man. I've been sober a while now and it's true what they say in recovery groups: it's a life second to none. Also, don't take your health for granted. Drinking to the point of seriously damaging your body hurts. It's not a place you want to go.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

Do the right thing, man. I've been sober a while now and it's true what they say in recovery groups: it's a life second to none. Also, don't take your health for granted. Drinking to the point of seriously damaging your body hurts. It's not a place you want to go.

I stuck my pistol im my mouth yesterday morning I dont fucking care about my health or future I'm barely clinging to life as it is

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I stuck my pistol im my mouth yesterday morning I dont fucking care about my health or future I'm barely clinging to life as it is

Jesus, man. Have you tried going to meetings? Having guys to lean on and talk to really helps.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

Jesus, man. Have you tried going to meetings? Having guys to lean on and talk to really helps.

I've neverf been to AA
The only thing I did in addiciton counseling was harm reduction trying to lower th number of drinks per week with a calendar
I'm not really good at socializing to begin with
I mean its' better when I get drunk but if I'm not then I just don't talk to anyone at all ever and I cut off every single relationship I ever have had with anyonbe because I hate to be reminded I exist and that people think of me
I'm just fucked up and unfixable fucking trash and the only way forward is down

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I've neverf been to AA
The only thing I did in addiciton counseling was harm reduction trying to lower th number of drinks per week with a calendar
I'm not really good at socializing to begin with
I mean its' better when I get drunk but if I'm not then I just don't talk to anyone at all ever and I cut off every single relationship I ever have had with anyonbe because I hate to be reminded I exist and that people think of me
I'm just fucked up and unfixable fucking trash and the only way forward is down

You should try AA. If you go to a meeting, raise your hand, say you're new, and say this exact thing, everyone in the room will relate and someone will come up after the meeting and talk to you. It doesn't get better overnight, but I can promise you that it does get better if you choose sobriety, keep going, and learn from other recovering drunks. Look up the Meeting App on your phone and try a few. That's my advice anyway. Lots of alcoholics have the exact same feelings you do, myself included, but it doesn't have to be that way.