Alcoholism Support Thread - Down the hatch

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

I've been back at work for two days and I've already had a rollover extrication and got boosted through a motel window to reach an errant crackhead. I'm amazed by how much better I feel with even an iota of motivation to do some real work.

As for drinking, I've literally been too busy. Haven't touched a drink since Saturday. Man, maybe I just genuinely lose my fucking mind when you put me in a pointless email-caste gig.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I've been back at work for two days and I've already had a rollover extrication and got boosted through a motel window to reach an errant crackhead. I'm amazed by how much better I feel with even an iota of motivation to do some real work.

As for drinking, I've literally been too busy. Haven't touched a drink since Saturday. Man, maybe I just genuinely lose my fucking mind when you put me in a pointless email-caste gig.

You waste so much time drinking. Since I decided to quit and stay away from booze forever, I've filled my time with creative ventures.

I've been feeling very anxious lately. My grandmother died, which isn't so terrible because she was extremely old and wanted to go home to the Lord. The anxiety-inducing part is that my whole family is going to use this event as a venue for being mean and petty. I'm not looking forward to it at all and it will challenge my sobriety, but I do what I always do when I think about drinking: I play the tape back.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

You waste so much time drinking. Since I decided to quit and stay away from booze forever, I've filled my time with creative ventures.

I've been feeling very anxious lately. My grandmother died, which isn't so terrible because she was extremely old and wanted to go home to the Lord. The anxiety-inducing part is that my whole family is going to use this event as a venue for being mean and petty. I'm not looking forward to it at all and it will challenge my sobriety, but I do what I always do when I think about drinking: I play the tape back.

My suggestion with familial pettiness is to meet it with a stoic kindness. People don't know how to react. Sorry for your loss, buddy.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

My suggestion with familial pettiness is to meet it with a stoic kindness. People don't know how to react. Sorry for your loss, buddy.

As I said, my grandmother was extremely old and ready to go. She got what she wanted and she is in a better place so, in a weird sort of way, I'm happy for her.

The other thing I'm upset about is that one relative basically raced to my grandmother's house and took everything that wasn't bolted down. I have some heirlooms and mementos from the grandmother which she gave to me in secret (because she knew this relative is an envious, hoarding thief) but it's just upsetting. I really wanted to get her Bible, but this relative (who is not religious) took it. This relative also pilfered my grandfather's military memorabilia (he was a WWII vet), including all of his medals. They left his flag box, but took everything else.

I have a rage problem that has taken me decades to control, but that guy is still in me and I don't want to deal with him.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

As I said, my grandmother was extremely old and ready to go. She got what she wanted and she is in a better place so, in a weird sort of way, I'm happy for her.

The other thing I'm upset about is that one relative basically raced to my grandmother's house and took everything that wasn't bolted down. I have some heirlooms and mementos from the grandmother which she gave to me in secret (because she knew this relative is an envious, hoarding thief) but it's just upsetting. I really wanted to get her Bible, but this relative (who is not religious) took it. This relative also pilfered my grandfather's military memorabilia (he was a WWII vet), including all of his medals. They left his flag box, but took everything else.

I have a rage problem that has taken me decades to control, but that guy is still in me and I don't want to deal with him.

Some things are worthy of rage. I understand how you feel. Treasure what you got, and I hope you end up with that Bible. It seems precious.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I get really bad anxiety around this time of year for a multitude of reasons I won't PL about, but it got very bad for me yesterday and today. So, I did something difficult today: I picked up the phone and called one of my AA buddies. I talked to him for a half hour and, at the end of it, I felt infinitely better. I am extremely grateful to have people like this who I can call and talk me away from taking the easy way out with my anxiety and picking up a drink.

I'll still get anxious, but I know I have other alternatives that work.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

I get really bad anxiety around this time of year for a multitude of reasons I won't PL about, but it got very bad for me yesterday and today. So, I did something difficult today: I picked up the phone and called one of my AA buddies. I talked to him for a half hour and, at the end of it, I felt infinitely better. I am extremely grateful to have people like this who I can call and talk me away from taking the easy way out with my anxiety and picking up a drink.

I'll still get anxious, but I know I have other alternatives that work.

I'm happy for you buddy. The holidays are a stressful time of year. Hang in there. Life is better when you're in control.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

After 15 days of sobriety, I relapsed yesterday. Unfortunately, I also told someone I had suicidal ideation, and the gendarmerie and half the fucking neighbourhood showed up. Once I informed the (very kind) gendarme that my boyfriend is a high ranking gendarme AND promised not to hurt myself AND to call emergency services if I started to have these thoughts again, the gendarme agreed to let me stay in my home. By the grace of God. I did go to a meeting today. I am so so so ashamed and humiliated.

 

[Roland TB-303]

I wish all of you the best of luck, I honestly do. My mum was an alcoholic and her life was one filled with immense torture and pain with the odd week or so of respite. As much as I loved her I could never get that close to her because she always chose the booze over her family. I hope you guys still have people in your lives willing to put up with your shit and support you because I gave up on my mum in the end. She died young and suddenly one day and she’ll never get to spend time with her grandchildren. I have a bit of my mum inside me so I understand what you’re going through but I pray that you can find peace with your demons and choose love and family over the drink.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

If there is one good thing I can say about myself it is that I do not drink when my children are in the house, for the reasons you stated so sadly and eloquently. My mother and stepdad were alcoholics and my stepdad was a drug dealer, so you can imagine what my Wikipedia “early life” would read like. I hate myself for this and I do want to die, but the most important part of this struggle is to shield the kids from it to the maximum extent possible.

But tbh, they aren’t home today and all I can do is cry.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Was randomly played this song on Spotify, from Britains got Talent I guess? Only really made out two phrases but they sum it up well:
Wish I could stop an start to behave and then wake up
In the morning and never miss a day again
...
And hey I just missed another day again

It really just is that idea of never having to fear having said something stupid online or sleeping in the half of a precious day off cause I was "bored" the day prior and drank. I've drank 2 of the last 3 fridays and gained nothing from it. I go out of my way to better my health only to dump it all on drinking out of literal boredom. I relate it to such embarrassment that I don't wanna drink with other people. If anything I ONLY drink when I'm alone, or if I do get a beer, it's for the sake of societal context the same way coffee is. I get one, talk and drink so slowly I'm never even remotely drunk.

Alcohol would be endearing with a tard wife gf who gets drunk and I can drive her home but man, the notion of just never drinking again in my life is so attractive until it isn't. I remember one friend getting into VRchat and suddenly drinking every other night to hang out with people (who didn't care if he was there) and it just underlined for me how absolutely degenerate this behavior is.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

That really resonates, what you said about embarrassment. I drink alone almost exclusively for that same reason. And I keep falling and having accidents. A year or two ago, I fell from a decent height and SLAMMED my head onto the concrete of my terrace. I’m always too embarrassed to seek medical attention. I could have died. I could die because there’s nobody here to assess or assist.

I’m really scared at this point. I slammed my head (different incident) falling three weeks ago and my (once beautiful) face is still messed up enough that I look like a battered woman. These accidents are going to kill me one day if I cannot stop for good.

i cry for my wasted life.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

That really resonates, what you said about embarrassment. I drink alone almost exclusively for that same reason. And I keep falling and having accidents. A year or two ago, I fell from a decent height and SLAMMED my head onto the concrete of my terrace. I’m always too embarrassed to seek medical attention. I could have died. I could die because there’s nobody here to assess or assist.

I’m really scared at this point. I slammed my head (different incident) falling three weeks ago and my (once beautiful) face is still messed up enough that I look like a battered woman. These accidents are going to kill me one day if I cannot stop for good.

i cry for my wasted life.

Your life is not wasted. You don't need to commit to never drinking again. You just need to commit to not drinking today. Tomorrow, well you can face that when you get there.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Your life is not wasted. You don't need to commit to never drinking again. You just need to commit to not drinking today. Tomorrow, well you can face that when you get there.

It's a cliché in AA, but it's also pretty true: the longest anyone's ever got is 24 hours. A buddy of mine has 17 years of sobriety, but you'd never know it because he always says "I've got 24 hours and that's all that matters." It really is one day at a time, and you don't have to do it alone.

 

[Roland TB-303]

It's a cliché in AA, but it's also pretty true: the longest anyone's ever got is 24 hours. A buddy of mine has 17 years of sobriety, but you'd never know it because he always says "I've got 24 hours and that's all that matters." It really is one day at a time, and you don't have to do it alone.

Yeah I went to AA with my mum a number of times and the people there were some of the nicest I’ve ever met. I think there’s something about going through genuine hardship that gives you the ability to look at things objectively and the ability to laugh at yourself.

 

[DeutscheKatze]

Was randomly played this song on Spotify, from Britains got Talent I guess? Only really made out two phrases but they sum it up well:
Wish I could stop an start to behave and then wake up
In the morning and never miss a day again
...
And hey I just missed another day again

It really just is that idea of never having to fear having said something stupid online or sleeping in the half of a precious day off cause I was "bored" the day prior and drank. I've drank 2 of the last 3 fridays and gained nothing from it. I go out of my way to better my health only to dump it all on drinking out of literal boredom. I relate it to such embarrassment that I don't wanna drink with other people. If anything I ONLY drink when I'm alone, or if I do get a beer, it's for the sake of societal context the same way coffee is. I get one, talk and drink so slowly I'm never even remotely drunk.

Alcohol would be endearing with a tard wife gf who gets drunk and I can drive her home but man, the notion of just never drinking again in my life is so attractive until it isn't. I remember one friend getting into VRchat and suddenly drinking every other night to hang out with people (who didn't care if he was there) and it just underlined for me how absolutely degenerate this behavior is.

please do me a personal favor, and get your friend out of there, quick!!!
and stop drinking dude its not fucking worth it

-hug-

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

It's a cliché in AA, but it's also pretty true: the longest anyone's ever got is 24 hours. A buddy of mine has 17 years of sobriety, but you'd never know it because he always says "I've got 24 hours and that's all that matters." It really is one day at a time, and you don't have to do it alone.

It's such a stupid situation to be in. I've gone through a 1500kcal diet to lose 50lb. I've braved some challenging shit. I fast 18 hours a day. Then I sit here "uhhh boredom! Drinking!" and succumb. Somehow, it's only if I start genuinely considering it that it has any power over me. If I have something to do the next day I don't consider it for a second.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

It's such a stupid situation to be in. I've gone through a 1500kcal diet to lose 50lb. I've braved some challenging shit. I fast 18 hours a day. Then I sit here "uhhh boredom! Drinking!" and succumb. Somehow, it's only if I start genuinely considering it that it has any power over me. If I have something to do the next day I don't consider it for a second.

That's the thing about addiction, it plays on your decision-making capabilities. The dopamine reward pathway is how we develop learned repetitive behaviors. It's evolution's way of pushing you toward repeating things that are beneficial to you.

That dopamine feedback you get from drinking becomes reliant on the drinking. You feel empty without it and your brain is screaming to make you just do it. It's like breathing. It's all-encompassing.

It's also beatable. You built those neuronal pathways that reinforce drinking behaviors. You can unmake them by refusing to give in to that urge. You will need help, people to lean on when it gets hard. That computer in your head is hard coded to get what you want, so you need somebody who can help you make better decisions until you're able to yourself.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

It's such a stupid situation to be in. I've gone through a 1500kcal diet to lose 50lb. I've braved some challenging shit. I fast 18 hours a day. Then I sit here "uhhh boredom! Drinking!" and succumb. Somehow, it's only if I start genuinely considering it that it has any power over me. If I have something to do the next day I don't consider it for a second.

Yeah, that's how it works. Imagine drinking the day before to excess, telling yourself before you go to bed that you won't do it again, telling yourself first thing in the morning while cuddling the toilet bowl that you won't do it again, telling yourself throughout the rest of the day (that you are working) that you won't do it again... and then you do it again. It's a weird obsession that some people have.

My advice for you is to find a creative hobby. If your drinking occurs when you are bored, then you should find something you are passionate about that will fill your time and keep your mind occupied. Or, if the thought of drinking is that strong, tell yourself to wait 15 minutes and see if the feeling passes. There is a saying among drunks that 5 minutes of sobriety is a miracle for some people. What I always do when I think about drinking is I "play the tape back": I think about all the dumb, painful, cringey, time-wasting things I did as a result of my boozing and say to myself "yeah, I don't want to do any of that again."

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

My advice for you is to find a creative hobby.

That's the thing. I used to drink and play games on friday nights, so since I've grown too jaded to get that "second coming of gaymin" where you start obsessing over something new, I instead go "nah if I drink now ill totally randomly boot up tekken and grind that shit for 3 hours half-dozed out of my mind". I relate new people and new things with drinking cause I'd wake up with 3 new 'friends' on steam from being drunk on Skype. It's entirely the culture rooted in my bones that thursday is heating up to friday which is gonna go down, and if I go early to bed I waste the day (despite getting up 6AM next day and being productive all day). Shit if anything I play games the most enthusiastic early weekend mornings.

I tell myself I'm good at being alone; me, kitty, tea and a book etc. Big wholesome cozymaxxing, but I just never really do anything. I stare at the wall til I can finally start making lunch or whatever. That's the points at which I start drinking coffee to pad out the hours, and alcohol is the same for that niche timeslot of early friday evening. I really do need something else to fill that slot, but it'd be great if it filled other slots too. Sadly gaming is the easiest way to try new things and I just can't bring myself to play new shit. I need to literally force myself to try new things and that's another weak-willed moment I've yet to conquer.

Maybe I really should just go "Okay, proper dinner, proper snacks, new game, friday, sit down from 7 to 11pm and don't fucking exit it". Anyway: My issue is mentally. I work every second weekend so it's limited how many fridays I get tempted while yall pound it on way to work