Nothing says hard working and devotion to your job than just giving up on capitalization altogether. Thought your OCD/OCPD gave you kind of a perfectionist style deal, GrammarLynn.
"Hey guise!" At least we're not immediately starting with the fake crying and crocodile tears. That will give me a little more time for the antiemetic meds to kick in, how nice.
"My goal is to have my Sunday weigh-in uploaded on Monday." As usual, yet another fail, since this was uploaded on Wednesday, it seems, but this immediate fail on every front is so normal in the hamberverse that no one gives it a second thought any longer.
Admits to failing this goal, but then goes on to say it's because she's "taking it easy" in January because she felt she needed a "mental health break." FROM WHAT? Your rampant, nonsensical consumerism? Eating many thousands of calories a day? Your slaving away at your "job"? Playing Lego? You don't DO anything. What the fuck could you possibly need a break from?
"Me being my own boss allows me to do that, which I love." People who are self-employed tend to work longer and harder, not throw together the bare minimum and call it a day. Obviously, I don't know as much about that as Hamber does.
Question 1: "Does the rest of your family also struggle with their weight?
Me: We can all answer this: They're all fat fucks. They're just not Hamberfat. How do we know this? Because she's yakked about it before. We've seen pics of them.
Hamber tells us that not all of them are. But her grandmother on her father's side was a fat fuck, over 600 pounds before Hamber was born, and got weight loss surgery "back then". Hamtard is amazed by this, as if she was born in 1950 instead of 1990, thinking that WLS somehow wasn't invented until 1989 or something. For someone who has "researched" WLS so much, you sure don't seem to know anything about it, Fatty. Coughs up that little hitch in her voice wen she's telling us how much she misses her fat grandma and that they have "so much in common." Like that you're both fat fucks? Major difference: dear old grandma actually did something about her fatassedness. You never will. The other item in her "so much in common" is that grandma was a lesbian. Of course. That's it for the list. Figures. Hamber claims not to have know about LesboGrandma. As usual, we are better at remembering things she's said than she is, because she has in fact told us about LesboGrandma - both weight and lesbo-wise - before. Moving on.
Question 2: "Do you believe in HAES?"
Hamlard tells us that she does not. She believes in "beauty at any size", which no one asked her about and it's clear Hamber equates "health" with "beauty" or "healthy", saying stupid things about all of it and go fuck yourself for yet again morphing a simple question into a dumbass wall of words that mean nothing. "You can be 1000 pounds and be beautiful" and I'm going to stop at that before I punch her fat fucking face through my monitor. No, you cannot. Look at yourself, Fatass. No beauty in that with your grossly deformed body. There isn't and hasn't ever been anyone on this earth who is a planet-sized glob of waste like yourself who has been beautiful. Says "about six years ago I had a doctor" - yes, we know, the singing doctor where you had bloodwork done and the doctor allegedly said "you're healthy. But you are obese." while waving Hamber's chart. Hamber says she took that and ran with it (ran...lulz). Yes, as you do with everything in addition to everything else you're lazy about, you're lazy about thinking. You have zero sense of nuance to understand the difference between "You are totally healthy except that fatass business" and "All of your bloodwork is normal, Fatass, so there's nothing keeping you from backing away from fat fuck territory." Moving on.
Question 3: "You don't drink much water. What are you drinking instead? Are you ordering fountain drinks."
Hamber tries to be cute by holding up a can of diet root beer, says she is "lowkey obsessed". STOP USING OBSESSED TO DESCRIBE EVERYTHING, YOU FAT BITCH. "Obsessed" has a particular meaning and connnotation, WriterLynn. You cannot be "obsessed" about every goddamned thing in your life, something you demonstrate well, since you're apparently not "obsessed" with losing weight or eating properly nutritious foods. Says she is working toward drinking more water and less diet soda - hey, another tune from "Hamber's Eternal Playlist" - because she's "pretty sure" when you have WLS you can't have carbonation. All your thousands of hours of "research" and people in your comments and here on the Farms telling you this didn't make you absolutely sure instead of pretty sure? Tell us, did your mother eat a lot of mercury-tainted tuna when she was pregnant with you? Says moving to water will be a big change for her if she gets approved for WL, then interrupted herself to tell us she's not going to say "if", she's going to say "when". Let us know when you start doing anything whatsoever to push yourself to a point where you can say "when" and not "if". Hahaha. I crack myself up. Moving on.
Question 4: "What's different this time with WLS versus last time?"
Me: Nothing. Hamberlard will never get WLS because she does not really want WLS, does not want to invest the time and money to get WLS, and is perfectly happy in her big, big bubble of antireality.
Hamber rehashes her last WLS jerneee, where she was told "they" wanted her to "heal from my past" and she took that as a "fail". Because it WAS a FAIL, you twat. This time, though, this time guise, she's not taking it as a fail but as a part of her jerneee. Sure. Until they want you to eat just 1200 calories a day. Then you'll bitch and moan about the calories or the sodiumz or whatever else you can latch on to in order to have anything or anyone besides yourself to blame for your noncompliance. But no, guise, if that happens again, she is not going to take it as a fail or that she can't have WLS, but the "first step" in the jernee, now go do it. this time around, she really, truly wants to put in the work, unlike the last times where she was looking for a surgeon who would just tell her sure, climb up on the table, let's give you some WLS without any effort on your part. Really? Every one of these fatbody clinics has instructions on what you should be doing RIGHT NOW to put yourself into the correct path on that jerneee. Like knocking out the diet sodies. Like exercising. Like starting to trim down the diet. Are you doing anyof that? Nope. Because if you were, we would have seen it on video. Moving on.
Question 5: "Does Delta 8 make you binge? It does for me."
Me: Hamber does not have BED. She does not "binge" in the way BED manifests itself. She is not a food addict. She is a disordered eater because she hasn't got a single fucking productive thing to do EVERY FUCKING DAY. She eats thousands upon thousands of calories a day because she a) is bored and b) likes to eat mounds of food. Get a fucking hobby. Or go volunteer at a homeless shelter or animal shelter, EmpathGiveeenLynn. Go pick up trash along the roadways. Hell, just take your OWN fucking dog for a walk 3-4 times a day.
Hamber tries to explain what Delta 8 is, fails miserably. Why can't your big brain o' knowledge ever explain anything? Books, food, drugs, everything - none of your attempts to describe anything is coherent. After saying it's a "wannabe THC, I mean, it has THC in it" she says she doesn't want to get into it. That's what morons do when they're unable to speak about something in a rational or knowledgeable manner. "It's sort of, like, a legalized marijuana." Hilariously, she says "marijuana" in a softer voice, as if saying the word would immediately bring YT to smite the video.
So do tell us, Hamber, about your oh-so-severe Delta8 habit. She says "yes" - I'm presuming there's the actual answer to the question - and then says she quit, because she had "somehow" come to rely on it. Says she would wake up, be excited to take one, couldn't go to bed without one, it was becoming a crutch when she had angzietee or things felt heavy (other than her lard-filled, deformed body, I'm supposing). And here I thought your shrink prescribed you actual mood stabilizers, and very likely Alprolazam or Lorenzapam with it, to take care of breakthough issues, as is often the case. How silly of me.
Hamtard says it was "becoming sort of an addiction to me" and feels like "anything" can be an addiction. "We don't have to discuss that right now". Pity, as I was looking forward to hearing her batshit crazy attempt to intelligently discuss modern psychology fused with modern pharmacology and how they are impactful on addiction.
Doesn't take Delta8 any more, because it was causing her "binging" to get "way worse." and she was getting to a point where she was "pretty high" and would just mindlessly eat and eat and eat all day. Blames the Ozempic fail on Delta8, as she was taking lots of it, then wouldn't film because she was high, or may have a couple times, but not many - that's a lie. It's quite clear that she's been stoned more than a few times in her videos. All this time, by the way, she's looking up, eyes constantly moving horizontally, seeking out the story she invented in her head to place blame on anything/one but her.
Says she quit taking Delta8 when she was taking Ozempic because it was making her "so hungry". Two things: it's quite well known that THC can generate the munchies. One would think the queen of WebMD research would know this. And also: we saw a video very recently where she literally stuffed Delta8 gummies into her fat fucking piehole. On camera. If you insist on lying, you should at the very least ensure that you haven't said or done the exact opposite of what you're saying or doing in a near-recent history. But that sounds like work and Hamber ain't about that.
What I think is that she hated the way Ozempic works and didn't want to stop eating her shitty takeout junk, so started doublefisting Delta8 - and she had to have been, given that she's a 600 pound behemoth.
Now she says she hasn't done Delta8 in almost a week,. which she calls sad, because it made her feel good, relaxed, but "it isn't worth it." It made her feel sluggish and hungry and not do the things she needed to do. I hate to break this to you, Fatty, but those things are more likely due to your whale-like size, lack of exercise, lack of a proper diet, and inherent laziness. We know this because you have 10 years of videos showing it. Stop blaming your failure on the world instead of yourself.
Overall, says it make her nonproductive. So it really didn't have much of an effect at all, did it, since that is your natural state. Says she knows she took it during a livestream and kind of regrets it. But that isn't her fault either, guise! It's because lives make her anxious, and feels like lives put her on the spot with harassment and things she doesn't want to talk about. now it's Delta8 and the audience's fault. Great! Come on, blame Beckster to get that hattrick!
Says during lives she sometimes says or does things she doesn't agree with (what?), then says she doesn't know what she's saying. No newsflash there. Slides past that and what she's really trying to say is that giving up Delta8 will help her and she's noticed a "drastic" change in the past few days and hasn't been binging. Hamber does not have BED.
Finally, the interminable Q&A is over. Moving on. Get those lacrimal glands warmed up, Hamber!
We're right around the halfway point of this bullshit session.
Hamber says her goal - her only goal - is not binging. Asks if she is a binge eater or is she a food addict. NEITHER, BITCH!. Says she has always said she bas BED and was diagnosed with BED, but was she dun-dun-DAAAAAAH! "misdiagnosed". Misdiagnosedby whom? DoctorLynnMedicineWoman? Most definitely. By actual medical people? We'd have to know which iteration of imaginary shrink you want to blame. There have been at least three times you've claimed to have been diagnosed with BED, the most recent of which is the imaginary shrink at the imaginary HAES clinic, who "officially" diagnosed you. It's your lie. Build it.
Ooooo, here we go!
Hamber asks if maybe she's a food addict (nope!), and that she's been thinking about addiction a lot lately -- oooooh, I hear the cracking voice warming up - because of her own issues and (sniff) her family issues. Work those tears, gorl! Says sorry, her voice cracking, fat face scrunched up, more shaky breath.
Anyone ever see Broadcast News? Holly Hunter, William Hurt, Albert Brooks? Hurt is a pretty, but dumb anchor for the news, and one day they air a video of him interviewing a woman who had gone through some kind of traumatic event, and she tears up, saying sorry. The camera cuts to Hurt, and he has tears in his eyes, too. When Hurt asks Hunter's character what she thought after it aired, she said it was a bold move, leaving his teary eyes in, and wasn't something she would have done, but it was a good segment. Brooks' character has an unrequited love for Hunter's character, and is jealous of the growing thing between hunter and Hurt. He asks Hurt about that segment, hey, you had one camera on that remote interview, right? Hurt says yes, and they go back to whatever mundane thing it was they were discussing. A bit later, Brooks asks Hunter how Hurt was able to film those tears when he only had one camera. She goes back to look at the unedited tape, finds out that after the woman teared up and said sorry, the crew says it's fine. The woman replies that it looked like Hurt was about to cry, and that made her start to cry. They all say again this is fine, and then Hurt says something, the camera points toward him, and suddenly he has that tear thing going. Someone - perhaps the woman - whispers "Amazing."
That is what this segment of the video reminds me of: tears on cue to gain sympathy and/or pity xp. And that's all it is. We've seen this before numerous times: she'll get her audience extra pissed and then have to do something to deflect from the backlash she caused. Anyhow, on with the show. We are certainly at phase four of the cycle at this point.
Wah, foster care because dear old mom and dad were druggies. Mom is an inspiration, y'all, but dear old dad is still a bum and druggie. Now she's going to be super brave and talk about something she didn't really want to talk about. But the audience has been telling her she needs to be more open. Really? Who? Not people in comments, they almost all hate you. Not on IG. These must be the people in your head pointing out you need to come up with something fast to try to make people forget how you blamed them for everything in the last video.
Hamber has perfected her fake cryeeeen and now has tears running down her face - but she makes no effort at all to wipe them away, telling me this is not authentic in the least. Whines again about how she is scurred to be open about her life - since when, bitch? - and launches into the thing that's just so, so hard for her: telling us her baby brother is back in jail for drugs. Yes, I can imagine just how traumatizing it is for YOU, Hamtard, that your bro and family, who you love dearly yet never mention except for the YTBux potential (like any time you are "donating" to the homeless shelter and remind us yet again that members of your family have been homeless), are still druggies or back in the pokey. Wonder how they feel about your use of them as stage props in you VictimLynnODrama.
"It's so bittersweet because he was homeless...." STOP USING words you clearly do not understand, like bittersweet or "dis HARtent", one of the few words in your vocabulary where you manage to not elide the ts. Goddamn.
Once again trying to prove she's an empath, because she "couldn't help him with a home" (for reasons she - you got it - doesn't want to talk about) and "couldn't bring him here, because it "wasn't allowed". Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you get arrested and sent to jail, dumbass. If he wasn't on parole or probation and one of the terms of that was to complete the parole or probation, he wouldn't have been permitted to leave the state. If he'd fulfilled a previous parole/probation, you absolutely could have had him stay with you, so why didn't you if that was the case? How would it have been any different than you having MG,W come there and stay when she is 1) not even a family member and 2) someone you knew absolutely nothing about? Stupid.
Claims she feels bad (that should be "badly", OCDGramarLynn) that she couldn't help moar, she did what she could, paying for his food sometimes, but she "doesn't want to get into the personal stuff about his story." How much more personal can it fucking get that you just telling us he's been homeless, that he's a druggie, or that this is not his first time at the jail rodeo? Sorry, forgot where I was, because in Hambertard's narc ways, it isn't just something HE is going through, but something SHE is going through, too. Says she knows that sounds selfish - that is the narc way, Hamber - but she's trying not to be (sniff). That's why you're about to enumerate all the thigs you're going through because of your muh trauma and muh fambly then?
Circles back around, repeating again her thinking about is she a binge eater or is she a food addict. Once again, I will say NEITHER. She claims she is now going to be able to "find out". WTF? Find out what, exactly? That having imaginary shrinks instead of real ones doesn't do jack shit, because it's just you telling yourself all the things you do are not a problem, like ANY health professional telling you that doing mook-bongs while 600 fucking pounds is just fucking hunky-dory? Fuck off.
Says the last time she "showed us" she was "binging" was her having a meal from a fast food place. People (rightfully) said that was not a binge, and now she's confused because she thought it was and her imaginary shrink thought it was. Bullshit. Says this next round in the orbiting Weight Loss Jernee will help - as she would say - "unconfuse" her and they would also have to "dig deeper" so she can get WLS. Oh, Ham, do I have some terrible news for you. The only deep thing about you is the bottomless pit that your gaping maw leads to.
Now clarifies that "I don't want to binge" is what she's used to saying all the time and what she should say is "Not eat when I shouldn't." and that she always considered a binge to be eating vast quantities of food when she shouldn't be." Allow me to help you out, Lardass: you have, for YEARS, eaten enough for three people at every meal. That is not a binge. That is a lifestyle choice. You know how I know this? Because over your weight loss jernee since you started your fucking channel, you have gained a ton of weight and have settled on however many thousands of calories it takes to make you sustain 500+ pounds. IF you were actually "binging", you would not be putting it off until DoorDash delivers your food. You'd be chowing down at that moment on whatever is already in the house. You certainly would not be broadcasting it to the world, and in fact would likely never mention it at all until a good point AFTER treatment. You're a fat fucking lazy useless retard with no skills or hobbies or jobs to distract you from your pathetic little narc life, so you eat. A lot.
Weepy again, wondering if she's just like her parents, did she just choose a different outlet. No, you're just a lazy narc who wants plaudits and money from everyone for doing nothing.
"Muh brother chose drugs," she cries. Yes. He did. "Or drugs chose him." Goddammit, you inbred dipshit. DRUGS do not make "choices". Stop assigning excuses for every goddamned stupid thing people do in life.
Oh, and here we go. Dear old mom's tale. Such an inspiration! She's doing so well. Unlike you, Hamber, who laughed when your mom told you to stop eating so much goddamned rice. Remember that? When dear old mom came out to babysit you during your "cancer"? So inspiring!
"I didn't want to really talk about this. But people have been saying I'm not open enough, blah blah." This is the third fucking time she's said this and of course, she was scurred to talk about it. This is all a bunch of fucking lies, and we all know it, Hamber. NO ONE can force you to do anything. Clearly, since people have been telling you to lose weight forever, and look how that's gone. NO ONE can make YOU feel any particlar way. That is YOUR choice, so you can continue your merry little narc sleepwalk through life, with your VictimHood shield at the ready.
You are not a victim. You will forever be a fat lazy fucking narc with zero skills in the real world because you make no attempt to get past muh trauma and muh mentalz. Other people have had tough lives, too. You are not special. You are not unique. The very same rules of the universe apply to you as to everyone else. I myself came from the hollers. Just like a bunch of other people. We're not all cranked-out tweakers scraping roadkill off the highway to throw in the stewpot. We didn't ignore the education we had available to us. We didn't decide, well, that was all the education we can ever get! We didn't reach for a bunch of excuses to cover bad behaviors we had. We grew up, moved on, and made our way into being the people we are today. We're not stuck in the past with the bullshit we went through, using it as a security blanket to generate sympathy or pity or YTBux.
It's what you should be doing. It's what you always should have been doing. Instead, you pissed away valuable time and every fucking penny you have earned just to indulge yourself. Hope it was worth it.
Weight: 520 (.0) - says she has not gained and is where she was on January 1. Right, but last week, were you not telling us you were at 514? How is that not gaining weight? She got a new scale. Because it's a scale issue, not a her issue.
Terribly, terribly sorry for the length.
