Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
Here's what I don't get about Amber's new paranoia about getting murdered.

Okay, she's scared to die. I guess that's pretty normal. But then why, following that logic, doesn't she have nightmares about ordering Ubereats. Why isn't she too scared to buy 'comfort food' to have in her house where she can eat it and die.

Maybe her subconscious has transfered her real life self destruction into fantasies where her impending doom is not her fault, but a case of tragic bad luck. Maybe she hasn't realized that she's entering the Death(fat) Zone, where people who are younger and weigh less than her have passed in their sleep from cardiac arrest.

Don't be scared of Bryan Kolberger or going to the movies. Be scared of yourself.
 
Another channel I've never heard of before just popped up in my YouTue recommended section. I guess this is a little late, as he uploaded this a good 7 months ago, but I haven't seen it mentioned here yet (and let's be real: Amber's more boring than watching paint dry right now). He's a bit (translation: VERY) goofy with his edits, but he doesn't it take all too seriously like a lot of other Amber reactors. Anyway, he did a rap about Amberlynn for his intro. It's pretty funny:

You Guise - My Girl Drives Me Around | An Amberlynn Reid Song/Banger
by You Guise Have To Realize


Lyrics - because YouTube Skynet can't quite figure out what he's saying:

NO ONE CARES!!!

Working on this editing, might take a couple hours,
make some bagels taste sour; then I take a shower.

Here we go again!!

Amazon unboxing 'till it makes me feel better,
then I'll cover up the comments like some stretches in my sweater.
Ready - ain't felt this good since I broke up with Becky,
I get my Torrid on - I'm feeling sexy.
Miss my pill reminders, 'cause I'm on too many meds.
Yeah, I gotta stay in bed, but I'm feeling good.

[CHORUS]
I don't do my taxes; I might need some help.
I don't plant a garden; I get lettuce off the shelf.
I don't wanna work hard; I just want the clout.
I don't like my girlfriend, so I switch 'em out.
I don't wear a seatbelt, it only slow me down.
When I order UberEats I gotta have the hashed browns. YEAH!
I gotta couple lawsuits; I had to leave town.
I don't have a licence; my girl drives me around.

Target haul! Torrid haul!
Don't check the price, I got it!
That money's stackin' up like those calories I counted.
I am just a victim; you can call me Jussie Smolett,
but if someone steals my Cocoa Puffs, you best believe I'm on it!

Awww SHIT!

You can watch me get it while I drink my diet soda.
I am cooking dinner like my name is Master Yoda.
90 Day Fiance while I'm working on my carbs,
Yeah and if I spill the tea, I'll order 'Starbz'.

[CHORUS X 2]
 
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Here's what I don't get about Amber's new paranoia about getting murdered.

Okay, she's scared to die. I guess that's pretty normal. But then why, following that logic, doesn't she have nightmares about ordering Ubereats. Why isn't she too scared to buy 'comfort food' to have in her house where she can eat it and die.

Maybe her subconscious has transfered her real life self destruction into fantasies where her impending doom is not her fault, but a case of tragic bad luck. Maybe she hasn't realized that she's entering the Death(fat) Zone, where people who are younger and weigh less than her have passed in their sleep from cardiac arrest.

Don't be scared of Bryan Kolberger or going to the movies. Be scared of yourself.

Because being scared of a random public attack is a dainty princess victim fear. Poor Amber. Being scared your fat will choke you to death in your sleep isn't very glamorous.

She's so delicate she needs a code word so when she's out in public and suffering from anxiety her wipey will know to protect her and give her all the attention.

That code word btw is "anxite" that way no one else could possibly know what she means.

She loves playing the victim so much she fantasizes about being victimized
 
Another channel I've never heard of before just popped up in my YouTue recommended section. I guess this is a little late, as he uploaded this a good 7 months ago, but I haven't seen it mentioned here yet (and let's be real: Amber's more boring than watching paint dry right now). He's a bit (translation: VERY) goofy with his edits, but he doesn't it take all too seriously like a lot of other Amber reactors. Anyway, he did a rap about Amberlynn for his intro. It's pretty funny:

You Guise - My Girl Drives Me Around | An Amberlynn Reid Song/Banger
by You Guise Have To Realize


Lyrics - because YouTube Skynet can't quite figure out what he's saying:

NO ONE CARES!!!

Working on this editing, might take a couple hours,
make some bagels taste sour; then I take a shower.

Here we go again!!

Amazon unboxing 'till it makes me feel better,
then I'll cover up the comments like some stretches in my sweater.
Ready - ain't felt this good since I broke up with Becky,
I get my Torrid on - I'm feeling sexy.
Miss my pill reminders, 'cause I'm on too many meds.
Yeah, I gotta stay in bed, but I'm feeling good.

[CHORUS]
I don't do my taxes; I might need some help.
I don't plant a garden; I get lettuce off the shelf.
I don't wanna work hard; I just want the clout.
I don't like my girlfriend, so I switch 'em out.
I don't wear a seatbelt, it only slow me down.
When I order UberEats I gotta have the hashed browns. YEAH!
I gotta couple lawsuits; I had to leave town.
I don't have a licence; my girl drives me around.

Target haul! Torrid haul!
Don't check the price, I got it!
That money's stackin' up like those calories I counted.
I am just a victim; you can call me Jussie Smolett,
but if someone steals my Cocoa Puffs, you best believe I'm on it!

Awww SHIT!

You can watch me get it while I drink my diet soda.
I am cooking dinner like my name is Master Yoda.
90 Day Fiance while I'm working on my carbs,
Yeah and if I spill the tea, I'll order 'Starbz'.

[CHORUS X 2]
This dude is hilarious and talented. That's all his own work right there, from the music to the editing. He's put more work into his videos than Amber has in her entire successful YT celebrity career.
 
This dude is hilarious and talented. That's all his own work right there, from the music to the editing. He's put more work into his videos than Amber has in her entire successful YT celebrity career.
He's amazing. With any luck, he'll end up with more of an active audience than Hamber and she makes her musical debut in retaliation. Milk for days!
 
NO ONE CARES

It literally doesn't matter if she gets weight loss surgery or not. If by some miraculous reason Amber goes through with it, she will consider herself Done. Proved the hayders wrong, got WLS, probably gets to say she lost 200 pounds or so.... for a time. In the end it won't matter any more than it mattered for Boogie or Jordie. It's been 10 years, and she's still addicted to soda. The easiest lifestyle change to make for weight loss. She still has to baby and trick herself to drink some fucking water. She doesn't even bother walking to the bathroom regularly. She still thinks it's unrealistic to live without ordering delivery, at a minimum, several times a month. There's really liking hot cheetos, and then there's some depraved bullshit that will never, ever, change.
 
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Reckon she pulled a hair out of her nose to get those tears going, or did she chop an onion or empty a bottle of Visine on her face?

Darting her eyes all over the place, one might think her script is posted on the ceiling. When she makes eye contact with the camera it's creepy, like she's manipulating and constantly looking over to see if we're buying her story.

I am not buying this crap. Not at all. I've heard Amber cry "wolf" too many times to give a single shit anymore.
 
Proved the hayders wrong, got WLS, probably gets to say she lost 200 pounds or so.... for a time.
No.

For one: NO doctor will approve this pachyderm. She refuses to even try to lose 10 pounds and keep it off. She's floorbound/bedbound as it is. She'd likely be shunted to a rehab like Jennifer Armstrong and told to WORK on her mobility (she won't just like Jenn).

And two: Lose 200 pounds. The fuuuuuck? :story: She EATS. ALL. FUCKING. DAY.
Every day
And every minute NOT spent eating, this pachyderm is planning her NEXT fass fud pork out
That she Doordashes
Because she refuses to WALK

I really wish Fat Albert would get distracted with a Checkers Western burger so she stops talking about this boring ass weight loss surgery bullshit.
 
Lose 200 pounds. The fuuuuuck? :story: She EATS. ALL. FUCKING. DAY.
In this miracle scenario she would have to lose enough weight to qualify for surgery, and then lose weight for about a year after. It is not hard to lose weight after WLS. She would probably lose 100 pounds even if she were trying to gain on purpose in the first year.

The point is she could bust it out for one year (unlikely) and still gain most or all of it back (definitely). See Jordie, living life like nothing ever happened after it looked like he was being successful for awhile, or Boogie, who thinks he's hot shit because he's a 450 pound man instead of a 600 pound man.
 
I haven't watched this newest one, but I can tell by the thumbnail that Amber Lynn Reid needs our help, folks! I mean, just LOOK at her? She's crying, and she NEVER CRIES! Did anyone ask her how she was doing? What is WRONG with you people?

Don't worry, Amber. This, too, shall pass. Don't fret. You're tres strong! Look, I have something to help you out. It's the most help I can give, since I'm away in France, but I wanted to lend my support to you in the face of all the hate you get for no reason whatsoever. To help you with your courage! Seriously, I want to help. I put it in a spoiler, so that mean people and haters don't spoil it for you. I'm pretty sure that's what the spoiler thinger is for.


All of these fine establishments are available right down the road from you - just like that emegency vet was right down the road from the brand new Chili's you and the gorls were christening. Plenty of places for MG,W to go get you some comfort in your trying times.

henryfood - Copy (3).png


In short, get bent. Your tears do not move me.
 
Because being scared of a random public attack is a dainty princess victim fear. Poor Amber. Being scared your fat will choke you to death in your sleep isn't very glamorous.

She's so delicate she needs a code word so when she's out in public and suffering from anxiety her wipey will know to protect her and give her all the attention.

That code word btw is "anxite" that way no one else could possibly know what she means.

She loves playing the victim so much she fantasizes about being victimized

I saw the twin towers burn and like every NYer, went back to normal life after a while. Amberlynn plays perpetual victim. It’s her angzietee, guise.
 
Here's what I don't get about Amber's new paranoia about getting murdered.
It was specifically about movie theatres, wasn’t it? She doesn’t have one. This was a story she stole from Jade and thought it would be cool to adopt it because it overwrote her previous ā€˜fearā€˜ of not fitting into the theatre seats. She retcons things she’s said all the time.
You Guise - My Girl Drives Me Around | An Amberlynn Reid Song/Banger
by You Guise Have To Realize
I love this. I’ve had to step back from Amber content lately for my sanity’s sake, but I sometimes listen to this part of his videos alone. Can’t remember if it’s at the beginning or the end, but I don’t watch the rest.
It literally doesn't matter if she gets weight loss surgery or not.
Correct. If she doesn’t, nothing changes. She’ll use her excuses. Say she knows what works for her and carry on as always in the cycles. If she gets it, she’ll eat through it. I’m told they don’t burst anymore, but she’ll just stuff herself with the known ā€˜slider’ foods, ice cream, candy bars. The surgery will not be the tool that works for her because her head isn’t sorted.

I can’t bear this latest walkback of BED. Does she think her audience are total idiots with goldfish memories. BED BED BED BED…..She’s been using it to excuse her awful diet and hideous fatness for years. ā€œI can’t help eating 10,000 calories a day , guys, I have BED. It’s a disease.ā€
Then……

WLS Surgeon: ā€œMadam, we can’t offer you surgery if you have a raging eating disorder, you’ll need three years of psychiatric therapy.​
Amber: ’ Oh, I don’t have BED. I eat when I’m bored and I’m a food addictā€.
WLS Surgeon: ā€œYou still need addiction counselling and to drop a large amount of weight before we can think about WLS.
Amber: Well, that’s so dishar-eneen​


So there we have it. All this time. No BED, no binge monster and she’s just a lazy glutton who is mean when sheā€˜s hongry.
 
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