Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Chameleon]

There is no way in hell she isn't using the same extender to grab from top of pantry to wipe her ass or pee hole. Can't convince me otherwise.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Amber has done, in the past, a 2,000 calories diet and failed miserably. I expect this one to fail too.

Yes, and every time, her excuse is "Those are too many calories, it will ruin my metabolism."

 

[pot of sneed]

It's true, I recall a couple of years ago that she felt she was going to starve because she was on 'too few calories' because it was less than the fuckton portions she's used to eating. The reason why she's grown to this mass and sustained it is because of constant gorging so any diet that has less calories than what she's used to is automatically bad and she needs to quit so she can enjoy her chum buckets, as though the point of a diet that you're SUPPOSED to have less calories than usual but nah, gorl gotta gorge on nutritionally barren shit loaded with empty calories.

 

[Cornfed]

I know Amber is smarter than any medical professional with a degree, and they're all enchanted by her wit and quirky ways, who isn't! but this eating plan is from the same Bust a Lah playbook they used to get her to admit to binging.

This is a very generous maintenance plan for a very active adult female, and someone who is over 500 pounds should lose at least 15 pounds a month were they to follow it.

When Amber fails to do this -and she will- I predict this is when she will but cut loose from their practice.

Ya, this plan basically allows you eat anything you want as long as it is not take out, deep fried, or pure sugar.
If she is such a new person, this should be no issue at all with minimal effort.
However, we all know this is doomed to failure. And ya, if this is true (still on the fence if she is even in a WLS program) and she fails they will definitely tell her to pound sand into her gunt.
I know it may come as a surprise to Hamber, but that clinc does not need her money

 

[Constellationzero]

This anaconda don’t wan nun if you 600 pounds hon.

I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for meeee!

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

I know it may come as a surprise to Hamber, but that clinc does not need her money

Kentucky, #2 of the most obese states in America (West Virginia owns #1 at like 40.3 % of the population, Kentucky pushing hard at like 40.2%, and Alabama sucking up third at like 39%)... you are correct. They got fatties galore waiting in line.

Different note, isn't like 2000 calories a day the "normal" recommended caloric intake here in the US? Seems I read that "as part of a healthy diet" shit on everything from Cocoa Puffs to Chef Boyardee cans. I mean, I don't count count calories, but rare is the day I'd even hit the 3000 mark.

Besides, if I'm getting empty calories, it's vodka, not food.

 

[FatalTater]

I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for meeee!

We've found Amber's theme song!

 

[I call shenanigans]

Ya, this plan basically allows you eat anything you want as long as it is not take out, deep fried, or pure sugar.
If she is such a new person, this should be no issue at all with minimal effort.
However, we all know this is doomed to failure. And ya, if this is true (still on the fence if she is even in a WLS program) and she fails they will definitely tell her to pound sand into her gunt.
I know it may come as a surprise to Hamber, but that clinc does not need her money

Either the dietician is an old school shit one (IME most are), or she already has Amber pegged as a non-compliant liar. To be fair it may well be both. For a bariatric diet the protein should be doubled and the carbs at least halved, or better yet quartered. That level of carbs will allow Amber to stuff her face on nutritionally hollow carbs sending her blood sugar on a roller coaster ride. She would be far better off stuffing her gob with satiating protein, then filling the rest of her enormous stomach with green vegetables. A post bariatric diet, which is the way she should be encouraged to eat before potential surgery, is ALL about squeezing the most protein into your body as you can, and using supplements to get your vitamins and minerals up.

In case you’re reading here Amber, your journey to WLS is nothing like most people experience, because most people aren’t 500+ pounds. You are indeed “special” in that regard, and very likely have earned your place in the too hard, and too exasperating basket for staff at the clinic. In short, you’re not worth the effort required to get you to do what you need to do prior to any surgery.

ETA, for those who really want to track down her diet app and maybe try to get a friend invite to spy on her lies, I’d suggest trying “Lose It” first. It’s been awhile since I was in the game, but that app was favoured because it doesn’t badger the user saying their calories are too low. What she puts in the app will be tailored to be viewed by her dietician and all lies, so really not worth the effort to try to track down IMO.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

View attachment 4984857

 

[lol cow supreme]

Kentucky, #2 of the most obese states in America (West Virginia owns #1 at like 40.3 % of the population, Kentucky pushing hard at like 40.2%, and Alabama sucking up third at like 39%)... you are correct. They got fatties galore waiting in line.

Different note, isn't like 2000 calories a day the "normal" recommended caloric intake here in the US? Seems I read that "as part of a healthy diet" shit on everything from Cocoa Puffs to Chef Boyardee cans. I mean, I don't count count calories, but rare is the day I'd even hit the 3000 mark.

Besides, if I'm getting empty calories, it's vodka, not food.

2000 calories came about late in the previous century when the US started cracking down on food labeling. They wanted to put the amounts in perspective. If I said "hey this apple is 15 floops" you'd have no idea wtf that meant. So they did a survey about how much people ate at the time. Men were higher, women were lower etc. So they took the average and made it a nice round number... It doesnt have shit to do with how much you actually need to eat. It was just the average of what Americans that answered to the survey were eating. If we did that shit today it would probably be 2500-3000 calories and we'd all be fatasses.

Now the 2000 amount is about what a healthy average size male would need... law of averages kind of worked out on that one. Shorter people should really take heed with that number and reduce it. Most people under 5' 8" probably should be hitting in the 1500-1800 range or less the shorter you go. Amber is 5' 1" and really should have spent her entire life eating 1200-1600 calories a day.

 

[Clown Baby]

Not this bitch implying that her foster homes were abusive lol GORL if your stories are true then your foster families gave you every fucking opportunity under the sun, something that your crackhead bio parents never did, and true to form you squandered every one of them.

You know what, this is a great point. While staying in foster care, Ambie was in "legit soccer" where she had to travel for games, and in several dance troupes where she corey-ogriffed whole dances and won every time, plus she had her piture in the paper! Sounds like the most privledged childhood around.

 

[Miltank]

Kentucky, #2 of the most obese states in America (West Virginia owns #1 at like 40.3 % of the population, Kentucky pushing hard at like 40.2%, and Alabama sucking up third at like 39%)... you are correct. They got fatties galore waiting in line.

Different note, isn't like 2000 calories a day the "normal" recommended caloric intake here in the US? Seems I read that "as part of a healthy diet" shit on everything from Cocoa Puffs to Chef Boyardee cans. I mean, I don't count count calories, but rare is the day I'd even hit the 3000 mark.

Besides, if I'm getting empty calories, it's vodka, not food.

FDA suggests 2000 calories per day for a female and 2500 calories per day for a male

 

[LonesomeDud]

I know Amber is smarter than any medical professional with a degree

You know what? She's smarter than at least some of them.

Apparently the current doctor's office she's going to never heard of a search engine.

 

[FickleFuck]

Hamber has bored the crap out of me for months, but I'm even more bored Gunt right now. I can only tolerate HamLynn through reactions and compilations. Apathetic Fax still doing some good work.

 

[beansoup]

You know what, this is a great point. While staying in foster care, Ambie was in "legit soccer" where she had to travel for games, and in several dance troupes where she corey-ogriffed whole dances and won every time, plus she had her piture in the paper! Sounds like the most privledged childhood around.

Don't forget the trip to Disney Land where her foster mom gave her the shoes off her own feet because Amber wore the Wrong Ones.

 

[pistolwhipped]

Personally I found it hilarious that they put her on just a normal average sized person diet and she's already scared and confused. Just goes to show how much garbage she consumes on a daily basis.

Anyone else remember when she ate an entire box of couscous for her dinner because the calories "fit" in whatever delusional diet she was doing at the time? Gorl has no fucking idea what a nutrient is.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

Anyone else remember when she ate an entire box of couscous for her dinner because the calories "fit" in whatever delusional diet she was doing at the time?

I know what you mean, but I really pictured her tipping back a box of uncooked couscous like Nerds candy, just guzzling it down.....

 

[Mr. Confederate Man]

but I'm even more bored Gunt

Makes me think, for as much shit as Pantsu gets, Amber would have been the perfect match for Ethan Ralph if she weren't a lesbian

 

[VirginMary]

This has to be what a rogue wave is.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Either the dietician is an old school shit one (IME most are), or she already has Amber pegged as a non-compliant liar. To be fair it may well be both. For a bariatric diet the protein should be doubled and the carbs at least halved, or better yet quartered.

Being put on a bariatric diet would assume that Amber is getting closer to meeting all WLS requirements. I think instead that she was put on this diet for her to lose some weight for the next few months to test her compliance to a sustained diet and lose weight to help in a possible future surgery. @StrawberryDouche calculated that she should lose about 15 pounds a month. If so, in 6 months, she should lose about 90 pounds, bringing her to about 400 pounds. My point is that if she can't even do this diet for a few months, how will she even be able to maintain a pre and post-surgical diet? Perhaps, this is what the clinic is trying.