Everything Amber touches turns to troons. Casey, Rafe, Jade, Becky going all gender confused. Two more weeks going to church and Jesus is going to transition.
The truly exceptional ones already believe that Jesus was always trans.
My guess would either be a zodiac (although that wouldn’t match her mums unless they’re the same star sign, a “Carpe diem” or methmomma’s favourite cherries.
Cherries you say? ...
It's the TRIFECTA of Methmama's favourite things! Cherries! Gambling! Names of people who AREN'T Amber!!
Go on, Amber... DO IT!!! - I mean, it's been YEARS since we had a really good cellulitis arc.
...Pretty much all churches have found a way to accept gays these days, Muslims excluded. They realised that their congregations need to embrace, or at least tolerate them, because their numbers are dwindling. Given their reliance on financial “offerings” to survive, they know they can no longer cut off a whole section of society.
The JWs didn't get that message. Neither did the orthodox Jews. Or the Sikhs (they aren't necessarily against homosexuals, but are against homosexual behaviour). Traditionally, a lot of the tolerance was that they'd accept same sex unions as long as the members of that union remained celibate (which actually covers Amber, so she's good there). There's also a difference between what the figureheads of a religion forbid vs what they actually do when they can get away with it (the Vatican is a prime example of this), or what the figureheads of a religion officially accept vs what's actually done at the church level and believed by the congregation members.
I don't really think any of that applies to Amber. Even if the Intergalatic Spaghetti Monster made Amber straight with the blessed touch of his noodley appendage, Amber would still be expected to curb her other deadly sins of greed, pride, envy, sloth, gluttony, and wrath. She'd also be expected to donate/tithe, and why would she do that when there's takeout, journals, and eggspurt laygos to buy?!
Amber thought they were going to Church's Chicken and not Church.
Good thing Kristine isn't Catholic. I could just imagine the freak out when Amber hurples up to the front, then sticks her grubby paws into the Priest's holy golden chip bowl to help herself to the communion wafers. "So GOOOOD! This would be even better with cottage cheese and mustard".
Word of advice to Amber if she's here - don't gargle the holy water. And if there are little tiny birdbath looking thingies with wet sponges by the door... those aren't meant for whore baths. Everyone gets REALLY MAD if you fuck with them. (They used to make shirts that said 'don't gargle the holy water', but apparently they're too offensive now and I can't find them
)
