I made this list of the most important things Beck revealed about Amber in their lives. I haven't listened to the Beck and Casey stream yet, so if there was more there, maybe someone else can add a comment. This is just a recap for those who haven't watched everything.
-Amber’s SA accusation
Amber claimed Beck was aggressive on their first night together and basically forced her to have sex. Beck states that they did NOT force Amber to have sex on their first night together, and they were ”nauseated” to hear the accusation.
Beck also stated emphatically that Amber did NOT sexually abuse them or hit them. The abuse was strictly emotional and financial. Beck did suggest that if Amber was average sized, she could have been physically abusive, but she was too big for that.
-Beginning of the relationship
Amber told Beck she has other girls lined up and if Beck refuses, she will go with someone else. Beck agreed to be Amber’s partner. Beck says they loved Amber in a way, but weren’t IN LOVE with her, and Amber also never loved them. Beck described their relationship as ”a friendship with another label smacked on it”.
-Intimacy
They were only intimate a couple of times in the beginning. Amber was bleeding for a long time, she had hygiene issues, and being someone’s caretaker ruins the intimacy. Amber wants people to think she has this prolific love life, but it’s not true.
-Toxic behaviour
Amber got into fights with every member of Beck’s family and everyone they knew. She was toxic to everyone, even if Beck’s family tried to be very nice to her.
Amber would say mean things to Beck, like ”if I was my actual weight, I wouldn’t be with you.”
When Amber’s mother was staying with them, Amber would constantly remind her of what a bad mother she had been, and Mamalynn was often in tears because of this.
-Choosey
Amber forced Beck to play a game called ”choosey”, which she also played with Krystle back in the day.
Choosey consisted of taking a huge amount of plastic stuff - earrings, buttons, stickers etc. - taking two items, picking which one you like better, and putting them in a pile. Then you would go through that pile and pick your favorites out of two items, and on and on until it’s all gone and you have your most favorite. There was no goal to the game. Sometimes it took days. Beck said it was so monotonous, it was like sifting through gravel, and all of Amber’s stuff was cheap and tacky anyway. Amber would supervise the game, and if Beck tried to cheat, she was able to tell.
-Timers
Amber would set timers when they did stuff together. When they watched a movie, she would set a timer for 10 minutes, then go do something else and resume watching later. When Beck wanted to hang out with Eric and Ricky, Amber would give them 30 minutes, then they had to be back with Amber.
Amber would make Beck pretend they were picking lint from her back, because she liked how it feels. They had to do it for 45 minutes at a time. If they wanted to rest, Amber would sigh and pause the timer for a bit.
-Beck’s family
Amber frequently kept Beck from seeing their dying mother. She would demand that Beck come home earlier than they wanted to. If Beck stayed away too long, there would be a huge fight when they came home.
Beck’s family were very concerned about them, and they would also get into fights with Amber. Beck's mother and sister in particular tried to be very kind to her, but Amber always managed to cause a fight.
-Financial abuse
When Amber and Beck got together, Amber had no bank account. She wanted to be added on Beck’s account and started an account under it. But then Beck quit their job and had no more money, and it was all Amber’s. No money was spent without Amber knowing about it. Beck wasn’t even allowed to save up small change, because Amber would ask: ”is this your fund for when you leave me?”
When Beck got 6000 dollars in inheritance from their mother, Amber took the money and said she needed it for bills and stuff. Beck thinks Amber took the money so they couldn’t leave her easily.
Amber would remind Beck during fights that she’s paying for everything, and Beck owes her for it. That’s how she justified all the caretaking Beck had to do. When Beck said they wanted to get a job, Amber refused it, because she needed them at home.
After they broke up, Amber took over the joint account and told Beck to get another one.
When Beck left Amber, they had no money for a U-Haul. As they cried about it, Amber laughed at them, and then agreed to give them 100 dollars.
Amber NEVER paid Beck for any of the live streams, despite claiming that she did.
Amber complains that Beck wanted a 6000 dollar bed. Beck says Amber wasn’t involved in picking it, just sat at the counter ready to pay. They had to get a strong mattress, because Amber needed a specialized bed with her weight and her cancer recovery in mind.
-Proposal
Amber bought the rings and pressured Beck to propose. She told Beck the wedding would be 100 % in her taste (colors etc.) and Beck would have no say in anything. She also said they have to wear a tux, no questions about it. Beck only proposed because Amber demanded it, and they regret it now.
-Breakup
Beck’s family staged an intervention. They invited Beck for a picnic in the park, and told them Amber was holding them hostage and they barely got to meet their own family.
Beck had tried to break up before, but Amber always managed to convince them to stay. Amber would promise things will get better, and she would be nicer for a few days, but it never lasted. One time they had an argument in the car, and Amber wouldn't let Beck leave the car unless they agreed to continue as a couple. The fight lasted 2 hours.
Amber was humiliated that Beck broke up with her, because she thought she was better than them. She was also worried about having no caretaker. She kept trying to guilt Beck into staying, and when she couldn’t do it, she turned angry and mean. She couldn’t wait to mock Beck in the live streams.
-Staying friends
Amber and Beck were NOT friends after the breakup. They were still in contact, because Beck had to get their stuff from the apartment and sometimes hang out with mutuals. Beck wanted to keep peace. Amber messaged them a few times, but Beck never responded.
-Being on videos
Beck did NOT want to be on camera. They say it was often embarrassing, and it felt daunting that thousands of people were watching. They felt like they were under a microscope. They believe Krystle felt the same way.
Beck kept telling Amber they didn’t want to be filmed, but Amber responded that it was their job and they owed Amber this, since she paid for everything.
-Eric and Ricky
When they lived together, Amber and Eric had an ambivalent relationship. They would love each other and then hate each other. Ricky only hated Amber and there was no real friendship between them.
Eric and Ricky did sometimes defend Beck, and kept telling them to leave Amber, because she treated them so badly.
There was no big fight that night they partied, right before everyone moved out. Amber hated living there and really wanted to leave, so it was more a culmination of many small things.
After the breakup, E&R were on again off again friends with Amber. They claimed Amber had changed, but then changed their minds. They were a bit shady and might have lied to Amber about things Beck said.
-Jade
When Jade came into the picture, Amber stopped being nice to Beck. ”She treated Jade so much better than she had ever treated me, and she wanted me to know it.”
Jade wants to stay away from gorlworld, and Beck doesn’t blame her. It amuses Beck how Jade wants nothing to do with Amber anymore, after Amber was so smug to be with her.
-Feeders
Beck thinks Amber would love to date a feeder, because it would be easiest for her. She would like a relationship where she can eat whatever she wants.
-Sexual preferences
Beck believes Amber is bisexual. Amber has claimed she couldn’t be herself with Beck, because Beck felt insecure that she might leave them for a man. Beck admits they had some feelings like that, but they always wanted to be supportive of Amber, and Amber wouldn’t really give them the chance. Jade is bi and poly, and Amber experimented more with her.
-Amber’s health conditions
Amber was bed bound for about two years.
Beck confirms Amber had cancer. They don’t know of any diagnoses other than the cancer and bipolar disorder. They all went to the same doctor and he diagnosed them all with bipolar. Amber stopped taking her meds at an early stage, and didn’t see the doctor again.
Amber likes to google her symptoms, and she truly believes she has every condition she finds online. She would go to the ER constantly, but never followed up with a GP or specialist who could have helped more.
So no, Amber has not been diagnosed with BPD, OCD, PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, etc.etc.
Amber would go to one or two therapy sessions, and then quit going. She would keep saying how much it helped her and how she had ”healed”.
-Weight loss attempts
Amber truly believes she knows it all and she knows how to lose weight. Beck doesn’t agree. Like we already know, her weight loss attempts were brief and she never made progress.
Amber would often just make up a number, when she didn’t feel like weighing herself. Her ”what I ate today” videos were not honest and there was a lot of food she didn’t show on camera. It was difficult be on a diet, because Amber would immediately want fast food. Amber would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but there were lots of snacks in between. If she fasted in the morning, she binged the rest of the day. She would eat a lot of fast food and ramen.
Amber didn't like what the WLS doctor said, so she didn't even try to follow his diet.
Amber stopped weighing herself in front of Beck when she was around 570-580. Beck does not know what her highest weight was, and says Amber might not even know it herself.
-”What cereal is that”
Beck says it wasn’t entirely food aggression, Amber was partially upset because they were supposed to be dieting. But Beck was like, Amber was going to fail that same day anyway, so they might as well indulge in some cereal.
-Wipegate
Beck wiped Amber from ca 2019 to the day they broke up. Amber used to wipe on wash cloths, which she placed on the sink and just rubbed her butt on them. Initially, she was using Ricky or Eric’s deceased mother’s cloths and throwing them away. When Beck became her caretaker, Amber asked them to wash the clothes in the sink and throw them in the washer. Wiping was less gross.
-Bedbugs
When she lived alone, Amber had bedbugs and was doing nothing to get rid of them. Beck said it was horrible. They helped Amber get rid of the bugs. When Amber moved in with Beck, Eric, and Ricky, she asked Beck to lie for her and they did.
-Other hygiene issues
Amber didn’t shower for most of the relationship. Beck would bring her a bucket sometimes, but it was only a few times. Beck would help Amber with spots she couldn’t reach.
Amber did free bleed, even if she’s denying it.
Her hair had to be brushed every few months, and it was very greasy and matted. It was unpleasant for both of them. Amber wanted to have very long hair, and Beck still doesn’t know why, because she refused to take care of it.
Beck also washed dirt off Amber’s neck, where the choker was. They asked Amber to stop using it, but she refused. Beck also mentions wiping Amber’s ankles. Amber claims she did gross stuff for Beck too, and Beck admits Amber popped pimples on their body, but it's nothing compared to what they did for Amber.
Amber smelled bad and the smell caught on to objects around her.
-Pet care
Beck did all the maintenance for Twinkie and the cats. Beck was shocked to hear about Rarity going missing, because Rarity loved them and followed them around. Beck also loved the other pets and said Twinkie sometimes preferred them over Amber. When they moved from gaycare to the apartment, Beck would go on long walks with Twinkie, and she loved to explore. Beck is concerned about the pets and doesn’t believe Amber is taking proper care of them.
When Amber lived alone, she used a guest room to keep the litter boxes in, but Amber never cleaned them. There were feces all around the room, on the floor and the bed.
-Reaction channels
Amber would watch ALL reaction videos of herself. Sometimes she would cry and say it was so unfair that they hated her because she’s fat. She particularly hated Karina Kaboom, Mr. Snowflake, and Charlie Gold. She also read everything about herself on Kiwifarms, Facebook, and Reddit.
Beck thanks the reaction channels for helping them remember things. They say sometimes the videos are embarrassing, but they can also be cathartic. Beck has done reacts to commentary videos, e.g. by Salty Crab, and responded to Q&As compiled by Karina Kaboom, Mr. Snowflake, and Oh Lordy It’s Jordy. Amber accused Zachary Michael of being abusive to Beck, but Beck said they didn’t watch Zach’s videos and it no longer matters to them.
-Beck’s health issues
Beck had serious health issues, and Amber downplayed them. They were prescribed Metformin for their diabetes, and it caused kidney failure. They were able to heal, but it wasn’t fast, like Amber claimed. A psychiatrist misdiagnosed and overmedicated Beck, they were on 4-6 medications at once, and that caused a brain fog. They don’t remember much about the last years with Amber. Amber still expected Beck to do everything for her.
Other things
-Amber was approached by a show called "Too Large". But they wanted Amber to move to Atlanta and be on a strict diet. Amber didn't want to do that. They got an email from "My 600 lb Life", but Beck says they were not sure if it was real or someone pranking them.
-Amber would go through Beck’s phone all the time, but refused to let Beck look at hers because she had a private journal on there.
-Beck thinks Amber is a hoarder.
-Amber says Beck called her names and mocked her weight. Beck denies ever doing that.
-Amber would slip off the bed constantly and Beck had to fix it, lift all the 20+ pillows and move the bed back.
-They didn’t go to Pride that time because Amber didn’t want to go. She wanted to go shopping and eat at the Cheesecake Factory. Beck says they ate there 5 times during that trip.
-Beck also took Amber on a family trip where Amber refused to hang out with the rest of the family, so they went to Walmart and straight back to the cabin.
-Beck didn’t see Amber write much in her journals, other than her weigh-ins and goals.
-Amber never cried genuinely in front of the camera. She would pretend to be devastated, and then shut the camera and be a completely different person.
-Beck says Amber cannot handle any criticism, no matter how well-meaning it is.
-Beck had a lot of self-loathing and didn't really feel they deserved better. If Amber wasn't happy, things were bad, so Beck tried to do everything she wanted.
-Amber's chili wasn't bad, but she often made weird concoctions that Beck refused to eat.
