Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[✨Tard-Star✨]

You're all wrong, the answer is:

Spoiler: Very academic mathmatics going on here

FAT

 

[a hapless toad]

Divide 500 by 7, bro.

Dude she said the gallon of water weighed 1 pound.

A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds.

Try again.

 

[Eskimoto]

Amberlynn logic:
I didn’t lie about having sock accounts, I just accidentally posted under a friends account.
I didn’t lie about my weight, my scale is broken.
I didn’t lie about having my thyroid tested, I just assumed it was.
I didn’t lie about being raped, I just used the wrong word.
I don’t understand why no one believes a word I say!

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

Remember when big al the cat killer had her own forum? What a time. I don't think we ever getting out of this lull. This cow is cooked.

 

[Skinless Nugget]

Divide 500 by 7, bro.

Jesus fucking christ on a bike

 

[Shocked and Horrified]

I'm surprised she didn't ask Siri or Google it.

 

[I call shenanigans]

I think that calculator is extremely generous, because it says my very fond of booze and pack a day smoker for 25 years ass is going to live to 80, lol . That said, I could see her making it to 40, but her quality of life is going to be shit.

The problem with that calculator is that it doesn’t tell you your quality of life. 3 out of 4 of my grandparents lived into their 90’s, the fourth was a veteran that only made his 60’s. My parents made their 90s. What it doesn’t tell you is that the quality of their lives was shithouse in their last decade. So you may well make your 80’s but wish you didn’t.

 

[hamber's shelfbutt]

I'd like to have a chat with whoever convinced her the high pigtails are cute on her. She looks like a fat cocker spaniel

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

Visual reminder that amber is literally roughly a 5 foot sphere of fat.

Both in height and width.

Remember when big al the cat killer had her own forum? What a time. I don't think we ever getting out of this lull. This cow is cooked.

Dead channel, dead forum, dead thread, dead cow. The writers should bring the death feeder back on screen to make things interesting again.

I'd like to have a chat with whoever convinced her the high pigtails are cute on her. She looks like a fat cocker spaniel

I love that they're so thin, frazzled, and greasy. Especially in the front. That hairline is FUBAR gorl.

---

If she's not outright 600+ pounds now she's 100% maxed out the talking scale. Which is what, a limit of 550 elbeez?

 

[maybe a pigeon]

On Tuesday night’s live she went off on Hecticana’s reaction channel, wondering why, if he’s a dad, he’s doing reaction videos about her, ew, ick.

I don’t know, Amber. Why, as a 34 year old woman, do you pull your hair up into toddler pigtails and make thirst traps featuring an ancient bra? Why do you claim to not be able to afford Ozempic, but budget $400/month for LEGO, because if you didn’t budget, you’d spend thousands of dollars on them?

At any rate, true to her egomaniacal self, the Narc Alert said not a word about it in her recap, but Apathetic Fax, Karina Kaboom, and (I think) Mr Snowflake shouted him out. I hope he gains another 30,000 subs from the ensuing kerfuffle and spends all his Adsense money on Transformers.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

So, if her logic about the scale is right that means for every 8 lbs it is off by 7 lbs in favor of being lighter. So if we take her at face value that she is only (good Lord only) 500lbs on the scale that means that it is off by 71 lbs, putting her at 571...which by the looks of her is probably pretty accurate.
Not a good cope there Jan.

This blathering about falling scales, mopping floors, and ultra light water bottles defying the laws of physics are just bullshit yarns Ambo's spinning to try and hide the fact that she's much heavier than she's been claiming for the last several months. Don't try to actually calculate anything with the numbers, because they're all nonsense. For all we know, Ambo put a mostly empty water jug on the scale to get the 1lb reading (if this story isn't 100% fabricated). That's the type of sketchy shit she does. And this isn't the first scale which conveniently "broke" when her audience could see that Amber was gaining weight.

Amber's weight is somewhere around =>550lbs, because that was the weight limit of this most recent scale she's been using. She's trying to distract because she KNOWS she's nearing (or possibly hit) her "highest recorded weight", and she's hoping that she can drop a big chunk of weight before the new scale arrives so she can prove to the haydurs that she's only a few lbs above her 513-516 range. And also prove that the scale at the doctor's office was wrong, becuase how DARE medical professionals think that they know more than her!

Imagine coming up with this whole assinine story about ONLY being 520-525lbs (or whatever she's going to say in a week or so) instead of having to admit that she's over 550lbs (it's all Becky's fault AGAIN)... when she could use that energy to GO TO THERAPY, admit that she's a shitbag because of both her past and because of her shit choices, and get her head screwed on straight so she permanently leaves the 500lb range. But, if she could learn, she wouldn't be a lolcow.

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

Oh dear God, looks like we're back to thirsttraps. Here's hoping she either croaks or wrangles herself a new tard to date so they stop. Aynway...

thyroid updates, caught in public, & huge torrid panties haul | vlog​

Archive


View attachment 7444499

bitch buying 6xl underwear and thinks i should do a haul.

Thanks. Alright, so we have a thumbnail of our gorl...pouring water into something. I can tell there will be nothing but riveting content ahead on this one.

Spoiler: Too long; didn't watch.

Hello hell- huh? I see we're back to having an intro. Curious. Tells us how she has a LEGO budget because impulse control I guess. WIll only show us complete LEGOs because she doesn't like showing us incomplete stuff. Got herself a Disney Castle and Mario Kart Mario LEGO. It's just her passion you guize.

Different day, tries to make us believe she has a point with wearing those ugly mesh tarps by showing us some model wearing mesh. Actually i don't even know what the point of this segment is. Perhaps there is none and it is irrelevant.

Different day, we get to see her pour water into her water bottle... how unfortunate I am to be at university right now or I'd be getting a beer for this. Talks about having to get used to that "sink water flavor". Next, she shows us a poke bowl she's gonna eat. An "after" scene of her pretending like she's not gonna eat the whole thing.

DIfferent day, she shows off the tarpanties she bought. Surprising nobody, it all looks ridiculous, compounded by the fact it will be worn by this sexless slob. More mesh-clothing and assorted torrid tarps.
Next shot, fatty reports her failure to drink sink water. SHE JUST CAN'T DO IT YOU GUIZE MY BODY WON'T LET ME DRINK IT!!!!

Next shot, she reports on her zoloft experience, and how it makes her sleep more and she remembers her dreams more. Also blabs about her thyroid and how she never specifically had it tested before. Also fatty thought "lab works" meant everything (as in every medical test imaginable), demonstrating her all encompassing ignorance. Says she's taking levothyroxine. Informs us her doctror wants to test to find out what exactly is causing her thyroid issues.

FOr dinner, we will be having PB&J and iced milk. "Literally so good!". Different day, she's doing make-up. Tells us that her current schedule is no schedule at all. She will be putting her weigh ins and What I ate In a day's in her vlogs because her vlogs are her most popular format. Informs us she will be going to glow in the dark bingo. Wasabi made a whole in one of her tarp shirts when she cuddled him (lol cheap ass torrid trash). Goying about perfume, and needless to say, closet shot where we don't get to see the washcloth cubby.

Next shot, we're at bingo and she's blabbing about how her mom used ChatGPT. I'll be skipping over the rest of bingo.

Different day, she tells us about how someone messaged her to Instagram. Apparently someone recognized her at bingo, and she claims she gets recognized far more often than she lets on. Once again informs us that there is no schedule. (Hm, I think I lowballed it with my estimate but eh.) Oh, looks like she's gonna do comment of the day.
AH-wx1rt: Hey Gorl, I have anxiety about my health (and all things) also. Hope everything is ok. Manifest positivity. (3 hearts)
A: Generic thank you response

soulwhisperer101: Yip [sic] ...So so very sad seeing Justine Bieber in that state!!!! - gorgeous guy with such great talent & may he be able to save himself with the help of a real intervention - he looks lost & is so emaciated !!!! Pity dr Phil & his team couldn't help him !! (that heart hand emoji) (0 hearts)
A: Tries to make it seem like she gives a shit by insisting she's not talking about herself.

hazelnutcase357: Good morning my bouncy bubble (1 heart)
A: Comments on it irrelevantly.

Kissy outro bye.

Most important takeaway is that she will put her weigh ins and WIAIAD videos into her vlogs because they do better. Also no more schedule. Apart from that it's regular old boring gorlieslop.

i don't know what my real weight is..... | vlog​

(04/06/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=IQ247Ge31_A

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7454016

TL;DW- Hamber is really fat.

Thank you and fucking hell it's another 20 minute one.

Spoiler: Too long; didn't watch

Hello hello, Intro.

Talk about how she's a mess and is just rully enxious cuz of the tornado warnings & sirens right now. Claims she cannot sit still. Uhuh, if only you had that same ethic for any sort of workout regimen. Blabs about her zoloft and a joke she made about it.

Amazon Haul: Wilde Protein Chips (himalayan pink salt flavor), a toaster, drying rack, some weird doll? (I didn't understand it). Next we get to see the riveting before and after of her setting up her drying rack. Then, we see her test it (release me from this existence). Next, a closet shot (nope, no washcloth cubby), and in this segment, she tells us how her scale is not working. Of course she fucks up testing the scale by attempting to weigh a gallon, by itself, instead of carrying it which would provide greater insight. She ordered a new scale.

Next shot is her before her stream and it's just her talking about her wonky internet. Also talks about some black forlding chair. Don't worry, it's probably as boring as you imagine it to be.

Post livestream shot of how much she likes doing livestreams. Lists the topics she talked about. Also it needs to be said how retarded she looks with her pigtails. I could not design a more retarded looking fat stereotype if I tried. Talks about printing out some test results for her upcoming doctor's appointment (her doctor apparently wants to check for an autoimmune disorder). Shows us progress of her LEGOs, apparently after people said they really really wanted that shit.

Next shot, she's wearing the godawful thirst trap outfit and talking about how she just film a tiktok. Blabs about mentulz and still feeling sexa sometimes or smth idk. More talking about drinking water. Once again tells us about her schedule and how she's still doing Let's talk videos.

She's drawing a singular oracle card today, that one being "Unleash your inner Unicorn" which sounds gay as hell and I'm not gonna dwell on this much longer cuz my bus home is coming in a couple minutes and I'd rather wrap this up before then. Blabs about what this card means.
Comment of the day:
crookedhalo49: Photo shoot in panties? (0 hearts)
A: talks about a personal photoshoot, so I can't wait for that falling out and inevitable leakage... actually, thinking back to the nothingburger cookie video, yes, I can wait.

scottwilson1672: I too love ice cold MELK (1 heart)
A: Says it's the only drink she'll have ice cold and regales us with a tale of the all girls home where their handlers taught them the secret ultra mega hidden state secret of warming up a bit of milk before bed to sleep better, thinking of drinking warm milk makes her cringe now

DrPistachioAsmr: 18:35 THATS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SOCK ACCOUNTS THOUGH...? (37 hearts)
A: Blabs about how she does have positive supporters, and she doesn't have sock accounts (latter of which is most certainly a lie, I still remember reading about Damon White)

Kissy outro bye.

Whaddaya know, another boring video. In any case, whatever moron told her that she looks good in those godawful pigtails needs to be crucified (in Minecraft) immediately.

 

[a hapless toad]

Also blabs about her thyroid and how she never specifically had it tested before. Also fatty thought "lab works" meant everything (as in every medical test imaginable), demonstrating her all encompassing ignorance. Says she's taking levothyroxine. Informs us her doctror wants to test to find out what exactly is causing her thyroid issues.

Snowflake just posted a video with a bunch of clips of Ambie talking about thyroid testing over the years. Gorl, you a lah. Again.

Also it's interesting that her thyroid nonsense started right after Becky's thyroid cancer announcement.

 

[Bitch I eat people]

If it wasn't Amber, I would believe that an ex having a thyroid issue would cause one to go "oh shit I should look into my own thyroid." But it's Amber, so this is just her wanting all the attention for herself.

 

[Lilacs On Fire]

So, if her logic about the scale is right that means for every 8 lbs it is off by 7 lbs in favor of being lighter. So if we take her at face value that she is only (good Lord only) 500lbs on the scale that means that it is off by 71 lbs, putting her at 571...which by the looks of her is probably pretty accurate.
Not a good cope there Jan.

Lolcow edition SATs

 

[pippeyyy]

 

[McBoogerBall]

I'd like to have a chat with whoever convinced her the high pigtails are cute on her. She looks like a fat cocker spaniel.

Her 30s hit hard so she’s fully regressed into a child. A 500 lb, waddling child.

 

[lemon_zest]

I know it's nitpicky but it's the Farms and I'll say it - for someone who claims she drinks so much water, she certainly licks her lips a lot. She's a fat pig sure but I could believe the lip smacking and licking are from dehydration

no amount of water can counteract the 4000mg sodium she eats at every meal

 

[I call shenanigans]

how unfortunate I am to be at university right now or I'd be getting a beer for this.

Off topic, but Amber is giving no content.

What kind of university do you go to that doesn’t have a uni bar? Unheard of in my world.

 

[Tiresome]

What kind of university do you go to that doesn’t have a uni bar? Unheard of in my world.

I mean there's BYU for one at least.