Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 554 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,630 74.4%

  • Total voters
    3,533
She has also said she doesn't "like to touch meat", and I'm thinking maybe she tried cooking a steak at some point and then was skeeved out by the blood when she stabbed the thing with a fork (as she does) instead of using tongs or just picking it up like a normal human being and washing her hands afterwards.
We have to remember that Amber does not like to cook and certainly not to bake. She said numerous time that she cannot follow any recipes. So any cooking she will do will be very basic, like her salmon or her ghastly chili. This is why all that cooking is for show. I am not sure if Amber cooked her Hello Fresh meals. I suspect that Jade cooked them or anything descent. Amber gained all that weight at Christmas because she ordered all her meals.
 
I see that and I think, That must be what Amber's legs look like. Not pretty, not feminine. Just layers of pink lard rolls.

All she would have had to do is eat 2,000 calories a day every day to avoid that.
It's a lot of food, but to Amber it just isn't enough. SHE needs more.
You said layers of pink lard rolls and it popped in my head that those fucking layygs look like pull-apart dough. Thinking that what oozes beneath Hambutt's black pants is the flesh equivalent of monkey bread...goddamn. Maybe that's what lured Wipey in. She did call Hambutt "Legs" in a livestream. She probably pulls and yoinks on the individual pieces of leg dough and gets all hot and bothered. I wonder if they leak or squirt when Wipey manhandles them. And if they're encrusted in barnacles like that one 600 LB Lifer whose wife fed his fat ass to death.
 
You said layers of pink lard rolls and it popped in my head that those fucking layygs look like pull-apart dough. Thinking that what oozes beneath Hambutt's black pants is the flesh equivalent of monkey bread...goddamn. Maybe that's what lured Wipey in. She did call Hambutt "Legs" in a livestream. She probably pulls and yoinks on the individual pieces of leg dough and gets all hot and bothered. I wonder if they leak or squirt when Wipey manhandles them. And if they're encrusted in barnacles like that one 600 LB Lifer whose wife fed his fat ass to death.

Please tell us more of your fat fetish in lurid detail.
 
She says this but filmed herself eating a whole rotisserie chicken with her bare hands.

I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt this once and presume she meant uncooked meat. We know she can doublefist cooked meat without a problem.
We have to remember that Amber does not like to cook and certainly not to bake. She said numerous time that she cannot follow any recipes. So any cooking she will do will be very basic, like her salmon or her ghastly chili. This is why all that cooking is for show. I am not sure if Amber cooked her Hello Fresh meals. I suspect that Jade cooked them or anything descent. Amber gained all that weight at Christmas because she ordered all her meals.

Which is complete bullshit. She's just fucking lazy and wants the maximum amount of food in her face in the least amount of time. It'swhy she buys microwave bacon and like a damn savage doesn't toast her English muffins. The only reason she doesn't hold a server at knifepoint at the table at TCF is because they bring out her favorite thing to snack on while the (frozen, sauced) chicken is fried: carbs. Bread and butter or chips and salsa.

Amber was at her most intresting when filtered through Michael B. Petty but he bitched out and now just lurks the farms.

I've been watching his vids again since the reactioneers just don't have a lot to talk about regarding Amberland currently because she's so fucking boring. Come on, MPB: come back to us. Do some retro reacts from after you left. Tons of reaction material there. You don't even have to edit. Just sit and stream like you used to. You made it into someone's intro, you know - "Did she spray Pam ON the fish?!!??" Help us out in our time of need.

Following myself, yadda, yadda. I've had to dick around with someone's data server all week because they had no backups. Back up your shit, people. Often.

You said layers of pink lard rolls and it popped in my head that those fucking layygs look like pull-apart dough. Thinking that what oozes beneath Hambutt's black pants is the flesh equivalent of monkey bread...goddamn. Maybe that's what lured Wipey in. She did call Hambutt "Legs" in a livestream. She probably pulls and yoinks on the individual pieces of leg dough and gets all hot and bothered. I wonder if they leak or squirt when Wipey manhandles them. And if they're encrusted in barnacles like that one 600 LB Lifer whose wife fed his fat ass to death.

I hope pull-apart rolls/monkey bread ain't your thing, pal, because now you'll never be able to eat those again. Ever. When Big Al gets aspiration pneumonia from inhaling a piece of orange chicken a little too literally and finally dies, some dickhead - maybe you! - will show up at the KF combined wake/HereAfter party with monkeybread with this comment on it in edible paper.

Thanks a lot, asshole.
🤣
 
Which is complete bullshit. She's just fucking lazy and wants the maximum amount of food in her face in the least amount of time. It'swhy she buys microwave bacon and like a damn savage doesn't toast her English muffins. The only reason she doesn't hold a server at knifepoint at the table at TCF is because they bring out her favorite thing to snack on while the (frozen, sauced) chicken is fried: carbs. Bread and butter or chips and salsa.
Absolutely. Even her favorite food white rice - which she LOVES - isn't that fucking hard to make. Get a rice cooker you lazy bitch, it takes 10 seconds to use a measuring cup and you can make as much as you want.

I'm not saying she needs to try and challenge Gordon Ramsey (as much as I would love to see him to react to that) but if all she's eating is chicken and vegetables, they take 20 minutes TOPS and she literally has nothing else important to do. She had a crockpot at one point - you just have to toss shit in those and wait. There are so many convenience devices she can get her grubby hands on (instapot, pressure cooker, air fryer, rotisserie, toaster oven, etc), there's absolutely no reason why she can't cook a majority of her meals
 
Absolutely. Even her favorite food white rice - which she LOVES - isn't that fucking hard to make. Get a rice cooker you lazy bitch, it takes 10 seconds to use a measuring cup and you can make as much as you want.

I'm not saying she needs to try and challenge Gordon Ramsey (as much as I would love to see him to react to that) but if all she's eating is chicken and vegetables, they take 20 minutes TOPS and she literally has nothing else important to do. She had a crockpot at one point - you just have to toss shit in those and wait. There are so many convenience devices she can get her grubby hands on (instapot, pressure cooker, air fryer, rotisserie, toaster oven, etc), there's absolutely no reason why she can't cook a majority of her meals
A rice cooker, an oven grill (broiler?) and a knife is the savour of the after work family meal. Chicken, salad, rice. (I don't believe I have even seen her make a salad, only ever opening bags).

She can even use whatever seasoning she wants. That Adobo seasoning or even easier; the sachets of Sazon Goya.

Absolutely a 20 minute meal. Far nicer than the crap she pretends to like. She could even mix it up some days, replace the rice with a tortilla or similar.
 
Absolutely. Even her favorite food white rice - which she LOVES - isn't that fucking hard to make. Get a rice cooker you lazy bitch, it takes 10 seconds to use a measuring cup and you can make as much as you want.

I'm not saying she needs to try and challenge Gordon Ramsey (as much as I would love to see him to react to that)

GR would stroke out if he watched her waddle around the kitchen, try to chop anything, and then declare her food tastes anywhere near "good" in this universe or any other.

but if all she's eating is chicken and vegetables, they take 20 minutes TOPS and she literally has nothing else important to do.

But, but, frozen veg is only 90 seconds (or less!) in the microwave! Boiling chicken in water in a disgusting slop - because who needs sear for a little maillard reaction situation type deal for flavor - in under ten!

She had a crockpot at one point - you just have to toss shit in those and wait. There are so many convenience devices she can get her grubby hands on (instapot, pressure cooker, air fryer, rotisserie, toaster oven, etc), there's absolutely no reason why she can't cook a majority of her meals

She had a Foreman grill (Krystle era), and an instant pot (Eric & Ricky era? Maybe luxury villa era. Just another stupid purchase.). There's one overwhelming reason she can't cook a majority of her meals: she's the laziest fucking person I have ever seen on YT. The sad part is that she doesn't even like food. She's not a foodie (not FB), as she is not interested in, nor does she have the palate for new and interesting foods. With the exception of TCF, she eats cheap shit and a lot of it.

I had to share it so I wasn't the only one with that mental image. Maybe I went too far. I regret nothing. Also, do you think the chub rubbed parts of the leg rolls make it look more or less like monkey bread?

Asshole. 😂

A rice cooker, an oven grill (broiler?) and a knife is the savour of the after work family meal. Chicken, salad, rice. (I don't believe I have even seen her make a salad, only ever opening bags).

Involves too much cutting and therefore is both too much work and takes too long. Every salad she has eaten at home has been bagged. I wouldn't mind seeing a severed finger arc, though.

She can even use whatever seasoning she wants. That Adobo seasoning or even easier; the sachets of Sazon Goya.

I' like to hear her try to pronounce it.

Absolutely a 20 minute meal. Far nicer than the crap she pretends to like. She could even mix it up some days, replace the rice with a tortilla or similar.

It's all the same to her. She doesn't enjoy food in a basic sense.
 
Absolutely. Even her favorite food white rice - which she LOVES - isn't that fucking hard to make. Get a rice cooker you lazy bitch, it takes 10 seconds to use a measuring cup and you can make as much as you want.

I'm not saying she needs to try and challenge Gordon Ramsey (as much as I would love to see him to react to that) but if all she's eating is chicken and vegetables, they take 20 minutes TOPS and she literally has nothing else important to do. She had a crockpot at one point - you just have to toss shit in those and wait. There are so many convenience devices she can get her grubby hands on (instapot, pressure cooker, air fryer, rotisserie, toaster oven, etc), there's absolutely no reason why she can't cook a majority of her meals
She had a rice cooker, never used it and left in the basement of the fag shanty.
 
There's one overwhelming reason she can't cook a majority of her meals: she's the laziest fucking person I have ever seen on YT. The sad part is that she doesn't even like food. She's not a foodie (not FB), as she is not interested in, nor does she have the palate for new and interesting foods. With the exception of TCF, she eats cheap shit and a lot of it. Every salad she has eaten at home has been bagged. I wouldn't mind seeing a severed finger arc, though.
It is more than just being lazy. We all know lazy people who would stand over a grill to get the perfect steak. Amber always eats the same thing with the same spices; we have all seen it. She has not learned to use a knife properly. She has not learned to use chopsticks. Besides being lazy and she really hates cooking. She does not work outside the home and has all the time to cook but she buys pre-cooked pasta, the world's easiest food to cook. I also think that Amber does not have the mental capacity to learn anything complicated. She cannot follow recipes and is terrible at math. No wonder her finances are rubbish. It will be interesting to see if she will be able to do the Lego piano. She found the children's sets challenging.

She talked about having a girlfriend who likes cooking. However, Becky cooked but Amber did not like her food. She likes carbs, fat and sugar. Her weight loss "journey" will end up in failure again.
 
It is more than just being lazy. We all know lazy people who would stand over a grill to get the perfect steak.

I don't. Every single lazy person I know would gladly hand over grill duty, even if the steak wasn't perfect in the end. They'd eat it and bitch about how it wasn't done the "right way" just the same.

Amber always eats the same thing with the same spices; we have all seen it. She has not learned to use a knife properly. She has not learned to use chopsticks. Besides being lazy and she really hates cooking.

She hates a shitload of stuff - anything that requires beyond the bare minimum of effort is something she hates. Cooking's no different.

She does not work outside the home and has all the time to cook but she buys pre-cooked pasta, the world's easiest food to cook. I also think that Amber does not have the mental capacity to learn anything complicated.

She doesn't have to learn anything complicated. Kids cook all the time, following recipes.

She cannot follow recipes

She chooses not to.

and is terrible at math.

Following a recipe requires zero math. That's why people follow recipes.

No wonder her finances are rubbish.

Nothing to do with her math, and everything to do with shopping for shit she doesn't use and never will and paying for convenience packaging for shit to shove down that gaping maw in her face.

It will be interesting to see if she will be able to do the Lego piano. She found the children's sets challenging.

Those were EXPERT laygos, shitlord.

She talked about having a girlfriend who likes cooking.

Not "likes". Who "can cook". There's a difference - her wording is telling.

However, Becky cooked but Amber did not like her food.

Becky didn't like her food, either. It's sad, really: just as you should never be in a relationship (even skimming the barest surface of the meaning of the word "relationship") with someone you don't love, I'm a firm believer that you should under no circumstances be in a relationship with a person who does not share at least some of your food interests. Back when Becky was zombified and Big Al started asking her about pepper colors, other food shit, etc., the two of them had zero in common. Hope you learned your lesson about trying to grift a bigger grifter than you, Beckster.

She likes carbs, fat and sugar. Her weight loss "journey" will end up in failure again.

The cycle will continue until she's broke and dead. Narcs never think the rules apply to them, and she really missed every fucking warning sign about the YTBux without at least a handful of characters in her universe. Gross miscalculation on your part, Big Al.
 
The Faxx Machine is still way ahead of Hammy in the views, making the Binge Beast fume and eat. Something I find odd though is how hard that person is riding Michael B Petty's dick. They have how many damn compilations now of him? Is this an attempt to summon him back to rip on Ham Gobbler? I do find some of the shit he says funny, but he's obviously lost his nut since he hasn't posted in like 2 years. Those days of Haydur Nation bullshjt did piss the fuck out of Hambutt and Chantal though. I think that might have been their, or at least Hamber's, heyday. The stupid feuding and seize and assist lawsuit threatening days of being butthurt by ass pirates. Zachary Michael still reacts to her, but even he seems bored of her. It's almost like he just feels obligated to cover her because most of his subscribers came from Hammy. There is still a little entertainment in reaction/compilation channels, but even that is getting stale. Faxx is how I watch Ham's videos without watching Ham's videos. Like a summary of her boring bullshit.
 
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Our dainty gay zebra hambeast appears to have reached a new level of narcissistic. Love that for her.
 
Okay so? That Torrid try-on? Like, I sometimes forget how misshapen Amber's body is? And how? Even though her head is enormous? Like compared to a normal sized person's head? On her body? It looks tiny. Like, she's the only were-tick I've ever seen, yanno?

Also that fucking upspeak she subjected us to needs to stop.

Edit
Here are the stripey sweater and dress in case anyone wants to buy them and pose for reddit.


 
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