Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

WARNING: SHE SHOWS HER BRALESS CLEAVAGE AND PLAYS WITH HER BOOBS FROM 27:15 TO 27:45.

Okay, you made me go look. Two tiny flapjack titties seperated by five inches of fat hardly constitutes what I'd consider cleavage. What I found even more interesting is how damaged both her arms are (go to slow mo because while you can catch it at speed, you can't really grasp how fucked up and scratched and shit they really are while she's waving them around in front of her "cleavage.")

Gross.
 
Hearing her complain about the cold made me realize that we've never seen her in a winter jacket... ALR, if you're reading this you should get a white puffer jacket.

It would look stuneen on you and not at all make you look like the Michelin Man, trust me.

Last thing this fucking Bibendum needs is a winter coat.
 
I'm sorry, hasn't she also previously complained about how she prefers the cold and hates being hot during the summer? Why would any normal person lie about that kind of thing? Especially when nobody asked about her weather preference.
Its common among the obese to prefer colder weather as their layers of fat act as insulation, just like a seal!
seals.jpg
Fun fact, the adult female grey seal can grow up to 7.5 feet long and weights just over 500 pounds!
 
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thanksgiving dinner & starting daily vlogs! | weigh in days 21-22 | vlog​

Nov 27, 2022

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“Hello, hi, I’m on the Titanic.” Bitch, you’re the iceberg.

For anyone wondering, that cabbage is southern-style smothered cabbage. It usually has bits of sausage in it, but Jade could have used bits of bacon. The stuffing doesn’t look homemade to me. The mashed potatoes and macaroni do look homemade. Overall, looks pretty good, ngl. Sorry to sperg, but it’s the only thing I found mildly interesting about this video.
 
Amber would rather imagine herself straight than acknowledge the character of Rose, played by Kate Winslet, notorious personality trait of Becky.

It was a lot more fun when Amber kept emotional support ex girlfriends. There isn't even a good reason for her to hate Becky. This time in particular, when Amber was broken up with, she took it personally.
 
Imagine the size of Fat Amber's carbon footprint. It must be enormous compared to that of the average American and that's not even a dig at her weight. All the plastic, the cheap shit she buys and consumes. It's disgusting.

I don't know why all the useless plastic shit in those stupid toys she buys bothers me so much but it does. She has contributed nothing to this world her entire life but huge amounts of waste (of every kind) and it makes me sick.

Rate me MATI, I don't even care anymore.
 
Imagine the size of Fat Amber's carbon footprint. It must be enormous compared to that of the average American and that's not even a dig at her weight. All the plastic, the cheap shit she buys and consumes. It's disgusting.

I don't know why all the useless plastic shit in those stupid toys she buys bothers me so much but it does. She has contributed nothing to this world her entire life but huge amounts of waste (of every kind) and it makes me sick.

Rate me MATI, I don't even care anymore.
Well, that reminds me. She’s putting things in a box for the homeless! Like, um, metal straws, a book about vegetables, and an old music box. Wait, whut?
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[Typed this up yesterday, but I couldn't get it posted]

Before we start, Quirky Alert on YouTube found a clip of Amber talking about getting a male therapist in 2018, and about feeling really comfortable with him. Her only concern was having to dig into her past to deal with her eating. It flies against everything she said in her previous video. Here's the video she made:

@Amberlynn Reid Please Explain This? by Quirky Alert

She's starting daily vlogs NOW? I guess she's planning to quit when the 21st rolls around and the check is in her account. Alright, let's do this.

-- NOVEMBER 23 2022 --

Location: Sitting on the couch
"Hello, hi, I am on the Titanic". No iceberg jokes. She jokes about Jack flirting with her. That threw me off. I was expecting her to joke about ROSE flirting with her.

LEGO: She's finished two chunks and needs to click them together. She's a construction worker, y'all.

Jump Cut! GoodWill box. The "Knee-High" (NiHao) trash is going in, some heart shapped metal straws, a tacky mirrored box, Starbucks cup, water bottle, and a book on how to cook vegetables (#weightlossgoals).

Location: Standing in the living room(?)
Shows water spots on her shirt from all the dishwashing she did. As she walks down the hall, she points the camera to her face, and it seems like there is a lot of rocking back and forth as she walks.

SCALE SCREEN: 504.8 lbs. Claims on Track. With no plan, this is meaningless. She lets us know she didn't poop, hinting this is REAL weight loss. I'm more inclined to believe these small back and forth changes are just slight inaccuracies with the scale.

Location: Sitting at her Desk
RARITY!!! Amber is watching H3 on her computer.

TWINKIE!!! In a pet bed or on a blanket, getting belly rubs by Amber.

Jump Cut!! Amber's bringing back 'Jewellry of the Day' from 8-9 years ago. Well, you've only been YouTube for 9 years and like, 1 1/2 weeks, so probably 8 or less years ago. Anyway: TRASH. More specifically: gold looking dirt-metal hoops with lips in the centre. Amber unlocked a memory!

More wrapping of Jade's gifts. Wrapped one box, somehow fucked up the size she cut the paper. Amber explains how them alternating the present opening during vlogmas will work (again).

Jump Cut!! Amber found the H3 Podcast with Amber's 'reacting to me lying.....' video.

-- NOVEMBER 24 2022 --

Location: sitting at her desk.
"Hello!" Amber's still doing her makeup, and she talks about how she does her winged eyeliner. It's just her and 'Feline' (JADE) there as it's THANKSGIVING. Yeah!! Bring on the Rotisserie Chicken! Amber's going to help by making the stuffing (probably StoveTop), while Jade makes everything else herself because Amber doesn't know how. Way to contribute, Amber.

Location: Standing near the kitchen island
Amber opens a tub of Dean's French Onion Dip and a bag of Party Sized Ruffles, because Jade has never tried it before. Jade tries the dip off camera while Amber tastes Jade's food and pretends that it slaps. Amber's using a plastic fork. Amber taste tests the dip, and it's obvious she likes it more than Jade's food.

Jump cut!!! BEHOLD!! The 'Carbageddon' Spread: a medium(?) disposable roasting tray of oily-looking cabbage, a medium(?) disposable roasting tray of mashed potatoes, a medium(?) disposable roasting tray half full of stuffing, a GIANT disposable tray of mac and cheese, and a very greasy looking and not at all crisped chicken. I wonder if Jade knows about Amber's sludgy gallbladder? That stuffing DEFINITELY looks like StoveTop. I guess Amber forgot that Jade doesn't like StoveTop as she finds it too salty. So Amber's only contribution to the dinner will be eaten by Amber alone (#relationshipgoals). I'm not going to do the stupid Reddit "I could feed my family of 12 for a MONTH on that food" bullshit, but it was too much food for 2 people. Particularily when one of them is supposedly trying to lose weight to save their life.

TikTok transition to show Amber's plate going from empty to full. Good job on the teeny, controlled portion of chicken and cabbage! Beige on beige on beige on beige on brown. And if you truly believe that this dainty portion is all she ate, you must be new. You can't fill up on chicken and cabbage when you have an entire tub of dip and a family sized bag of chips to 'binge on' later. Or a case of Ramen. And a freezer full of ice cream. You need to pace yourself on the actual food to maximize your 'binge' capacity.

Location: Sitting on the couch.
RARITY!!! Doing a taste-test of the tree. Gives a guilty look when Amber calls to her. Hahaha, silly kitty.

-- LATER THAT NIGHT --

Location: Sitting at her desk.
Amber's working on her LEGO again. She shows the progression like a slideshow with voice over.

RARITY!!! Amber dropped her camera, and now she having problems with the sound. She's worried because it's giving her vlogs a bad quality (I don't think the CAMERA is the problem people are noticing...), so she's going to get another camera. She gives a long rambling explaination about how she's going to run out of days in the month before she runs out of November footage, so she might adjust her upload schedule. Amber is always in the headphones because she wears them when Jade is working and sleeping. Makes sense as Amber is nocturnal and Jade isn't.

-- FEW MOMENTS LATER --

Daily vlogs have started.... as we already kn0w based on this one. Amber talks about failing Vlogmas in the past. It was because she was too shy being around Jade. Suuure. Were you also too shy to film around Becky the year before when you failed? (You know, while she was wiping your ass?). Listening to Amber's promises leads to disappointment, so I'm not really listening to this. We'll find out when it happens. Amber says she loves her New Year and New Resolutions that she fails, and then laughs about it. Be prepared for numbers and lists, as she loves those. Now she's rambling about zodiac signs and personality traits.

SCALE SCREEN: 505 lbs. Yeah, this is just variation in the scale. Amber says she was on track, but didn't do as well as she could, and is being honest. Doesn't sound honest. If you didn't do as well as you could, you WEREN'T 'on track'. Oh, she must have heard me because now she's saying she was off track. And that's why these terms have no meaning. Gives proper outro.

TL;DR: LEGO. RARITY!! Garbage pile for GoodWill. TWINKIE!! Rambles about vlogmas and upload schedule. Needs yet another vlogging camera. 'CARBAGEDDON' Thanksgiving spread.
 
Bitch is definitely hurting for money as she said she is going to post every day for a while. This is code for, "I must keep buying Jade shit else she leaves." For some reason, her views take another nose dive and don't match 40k for the past 3 uploads. This is pretty crap for her obviously but I think this is due to reaction channels dropping her almost entirely. Alex and Zack are the only ones really now which of course hurts her overall footprint.

She also outright confirmed by a slip she got the Titanic she said "I chose it and just wanted to treat myself." She says this after saying Jade brought it too which makes me think it was a slip up, Amber thinks she is clever but she is pretty dumb.

One reason for the sudden drop in views is I think people are just fucking over "Feline". Not just the sheer lunacy but the fact people don't like people assuming they are stupid. It's also the fact her vlogs are a series of absolutely nothing.
 
Bitch is definitely hurting for money as she said she is going to post every day for a while. This is code for, "I must keep buying Jade shit else she leaves." For some reason, her views take another nose dive and don't match 40k for the past 3 uploads. This is pretty crap for her obviously but I think this is due to reaction channels dropping her almost entirely. Alex and Zack are the only ones really now which of course hurts her overall footprint.

She also outright confirmed by a slip she got the Titanic she said "I chose it and just wanted to treat myself." She says this after saying Jade brought it too which makes me think it was a slip up, Amber thinks she is clever but she is pretty dumb.

One reason for the sudden drop in views is I think people are just fucking over "Feline". Not just the sheer lunacy but the fact people don't like people assuming they are stupid. It's also the fact her vlogs are a series of absolutely nothing.
Don't even think that Bitch eating herself to death and repeating the cycle will help. There's just no B Plot anymore. Nothing to stand against her. It's like Pink Floyd's "Time," but without any hope at all.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
 
This is grim shit. Folx, when every day is Bacchanalia, and you never clock into actual work, Thanksgiving is nothing special. Why bother with special homemade stuffing or pretty serving dishes, when it's just another Thursday, except Uber Eats isn't available.

Even a roast turkey breast, which takes 5 minutes of effort, might be something a little different and special. Nah. Gotta get to the trough fast as possible.

Desserts were not shown, but I promise you they were there. Store bought and gluey, but it's all the same to her.

Like I said, grim shit, man. A vision of a Thanksgiving nobody wants: no friends, no family, no special foods, just instant foods at the ready like any other day, then straight to the Christmas marked only by materialism and excess. Gross.
 
I know right, Jade did not want to be there but she needs to be in KY just a little longer until the court is fully settled. There is no emotion there between them and no dynamic whatsoever, if you have no dynamic with your spouse you're kinda fucked or a Tyrone is fucking them.

I think that's why most of us see through this shit because anyone in a longstanding relationship can see through it and no one acts like that.

I think the reason why Amber feels nothing anymore is life is not special, she is not working towards any goals just 1 million views a month to break even. You can be in your 30s and learn a new profession easily in fact most employers will hire you over the college graduate because there is more drive and life experience "in most". her existence is honestly pitiful because in your 30s you should know where you are and most people have a relationship and family.

That is the one shred of respect I will give Jade, she retrained and went down a path where it is relatively hard to not be unemployed in. Then she kinda throws it away by acting like an entitled cunt but there you go.

Amber does nothing and her constant excuse is trauma yet in her life she has done nothing but leech off people.
 
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