Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

when Amber was broken up with, she took it personally.
She took it personally because she never liked Becky. She always saw/treated Becky like she was several steps beneath her. And although Hambutt is a Bibendum entity herself, she always saw herself as superior to the NoNeck tire necklace. You don't say the word "NO" to the Bibendum entity! YOU don't break up with it, IT breaks up with YOU.

That's literally all this is.
 
Amber would rather imagine herself straight than acknowledge the character of Rose, played by Kate Winslet, notorious personality trait of Becky.

It was a lot more fun when Amber kept emotional support ex girlfriends. There isn't even a good reason for her to hate Becky. This time in particular, when Amber was broken up with, she took it personally.
She hates Becky because she didn't have a new caretaker/gf on the back burner like she did when the other girls broke up with her. She really thought Becky would never leave because then she would have nothing. I think she thought she had broken her down enough she would never her. It's why Amber had to hurry online and find the first person she could, and just so happened nigga jade needed somewhere to hold up while awaiting the millions she would get from her lawsuit (lolz).
 
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Wait, Amber admits she has no idea how to cook mashed potatoes, stuffing, or macaroni and cheese? She doesn't know how to put a chicken in the oven?

I can't tell if this is lahs or if she's really that useless.
Its a multitude of things. Learned helplessness to further her idea of being a princess that needs to be taken care of (people taking care of her is a sign she is loved because she didnt get it with her parents and because shes an empty human being she needs it 24/7 or else shes not loved)
Or since she has had carers or the money to go out and eat shes never had to learn. If she doesnt know how to do something she will avoid it so she doesnt look stupid for trying and failing. She must be perfect at all times
*bonus points for the caveat of trying to do something to look cute, quirky or helpless or when shes trying to "normalize" something and being humble*

Tldr; shes just useless anyway.


She hates Becky because she didn't have a new caretaker/gf on the back burner like she did when the other girls broke up with her. She really thought Becky would never leave because then she would have nothing. I think she thought she had broken her down enough she would never her. It's why Amber had to hurry online and find the first person she could, and just so happened nigga jade needed somewhere to hold up while awaiting the millions she would get from her lawsuit (lolz).
%100 correct. She treated becky like a slave, and becky was beneath her in every way. Their relationship was the stereotypical giant mamoth abusive pushy matriarch with the timid broken husband but lesbian flavored. When becky got a spine amber was/is still pissed a lowlife like becky would have the balls to make a mistake like breaking up with amber. Because as we all know, this is highschool freshman mentality, when someone breaks things off they are the better of the two, not the person being broken up with (who is seen as less than)

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Ah yes. A new insta handle. That will fix all her problems.
 
Girl doesn't have an eating disorder. She has "I want to eat garbage and not take any responsibility for my health or actions". It's the reason she's been saying lipadema on repeat. It's something to blame, rather than the thousands of calories of take out she eats every day.
I wonder what happened to jade wipey whateverthefuck being so supportive she didn't want to binge and was walking every day? According to her own list, out of 20 days, she was "on track" (whatever that means) a whopping 7 days. And her "omg binge molment" was a normal meal for her so I don't even know if SHE knows what the words mean. I just don't understand what this writing shit down is even supposed to do. She is gaining a shit ton and not changing anything. So what is the point? I guess to give us her excuses about why she isn't losing like she absolutely could be?

Fat is becoming the new normal and anyone smaller than that is too skinny and part of the problem.
It's really weird and gross. I don't understand how the tumblr fat cancer became normalized and healthy bodies became the problem.

This is very similar to her "my calories/points/carbs/whatever are too low for my body!" copouts to get out of diets. Not surprising at all.
She's lidurallee starveeeen. OR when she complained that she had too many points on WW, as if she had to eat every single point? There is always a reason to quit.

Chantal probably just couldn't find her sympathy bone.
That was such a beautiful mask slip on who she really is. Especially with the "it's just a joke you guise but also she was mean to me" right after. Chef's kiss on that one.
I feel like "Binged" is the new "Intuitive" per definition at this point
Def. using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning;

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For someone who says she writes liduralleeee all day, this looks like a first grader just learning their letters.

The vet misdiagnosed Twinkie
She told her she's overweight but healthy and asked her for her insta.

hes gonna tell us because her feeder gf kisses her laygs
This is the most disgusting sentence I've ever read.

Love that she fucked up spelling beautiful right next to "mistakes are normal". What the fuck is this? Why is she an actual 14 year old in a 500 pound body?

Lol, isn't the general recommendation NOT to weigh yourself everyday?
She has said before she doesn't care. Something about how she can track what makes her gain easier than only doing it once a week. Idk, it obviously doesn't work.
 
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Does she pay someone to assemble the difficult parts of sets for her? The Titanic is assembled in three parts, they show how they go together at 15:12 and again at 17:31:
The cross section shows how detailed it is inside, how can she manage to assemble these parts with her sausage fingers?

Generally this set doesn't look much fun to assemble, compared to say the Lego world map. It involves a lot of repetition with small samey-looking parts and many hours of work. I don't understand why she would even want it, it's clearly aimed at collectors who are passionate about ships or the history of the Titanic.
 
Does she pay someone to assemble the difficult parts of sets for her? The Titanic is assembled in three parts, they show how they go together at 15:12 and again at 17:31:
The cross section shows how detailed it is inside, how can she manage to assemble these parts with her sausage fingers?

Generally this set doesn't look much fun to assemble, compared to say the Lego world map. It involves a lot of repetition with small samey-looking parts and many hours of work. I don't understand why she would even want it, it's clearly aimed at collectors who are passionate about ships or the history of the Titanic.
She wanted it for the same reason as the Louis Vuitton she was too lazy to raise her daily limit for- it’s a “status” symbol to her. “Look at me, I have sooo much money I can buy this no problem! Aren’t you jealous?” Only in this case she was trying to lah and say that Jade loved bombed her once again like she did at the start of their non-relationship. Make no mistake- Amber is trying to pretend that not only does Jade love her, but also that they’re still making bank with YouTube. Seethe, peasants!

Of course, no one cares and it’s a stupid thing to spend on when you’re broke. Start selling the tubs of Mini Brands now, Hamber. You’re gonna need the ten bucks you’ll make from those sooner than later.
 
Lardo should’ve changed her IG handle to hi.im.dumbo instead
Shes got the ears for it, thats for sure.

Girl doesn't have an eating disorder. She has "I want to eat garbage and not take any responsibility for my health or actions". It's the reason she's been saying lipadema on repeat. It's something to blame, rather than the thousands of calories of take out she eats every day.
I wonder what happened to jade wipey whateverthefuck being so supportive she didn't want to binge and was walking every day?
Eating garbage uncontrollably is her eating disorder apparently. Her lipodema is also never going to do anything but get worse and it will help keep her sick for longer too. Shes gonna have arm fat so long and heavy she wont be able to lift them, she already struggled with lifting the titanic lego set.

As for wipey, shes suggested walking and doing other supportive things and amber is the type to throw a fit like a child if she has to go out and do anything. Plus she probably freaks out at walking around without wipey present at all times because she may fall again (like all skinny people do). Shes developed a fear of walking and jade has no time to deal with coaxing amber out for walkies after her second or third job. Bitch is tired.
According to her own list, out of 20 days, she was "on track" (whatever that means) a whopping 7 days. And her "omg binge molment" was a normal meal for her so I don't even know if SHE knows what the words mean. I just don't understand what this writing shit down is even supposed to do. She is gaining a shit ton and not changing anything. So what is the point? I guess to give us her excuses about why she isn't losing like she absolutely could be?
She goes around in circles about what a "normal portion" is. Shes delusional of course. What a "normal" portion of food for a regular person (thin) and whats "normal" for her (big) are two different things but she uses the terms interchangeably depending on defending herself or talking down to the audience. She needs a tard wrangler to portion out her food.
She's lidurallee starveeeen. OR when she complained that she had too many points on WW, as if she had to eat every single point? There is always a reason to quit.
Thats how her brain works. If shes "allowed" to eat it she will eat it. She will make mistakes and change the rules so quitting doesnt "count" because there was a super serious and adult mature reason to quit.
Love that she fucked up spelling beautiful right next to "mistakes are normal". What the fuck is this? Why is she an actual 14 year old in a 500 pound body?
Yes. It was either done ironically or she really fucked up and is claiming mistakes to be beautiful.
Im convinced the "diagnosed with asmr" was supposed to be a joke but people think shes really that stupid so she just left it alone.

She has said before she doesn't care. Something about how she can track what makes her gain easier than only doing it once a week. Idk, it obviously doesn't work.
Another little game with silly little made up rules so amber has an illusion of control. Shes playing scientist or investigator or something. Maybe sherlock hams will solve the mystery of the swelleen and overeateen.
 
For someone who says she writes liduralleeee all day, this looks like a first grader just learning their letters.




Love that she fucked up spelling beautiful right next to "mistakes are normal". What the fuck is this? Why is she an actual 14 year old in a 500 pound body?


She has said before she doesn't care. Something about how she can track what makes her gain easier than only doing it once a week. Idk, it obviously doesn't work.
She won't admit it, but claims she spelt it that way on purpose because "mistakes." Of course she didn't say that the first times she showed it, but after everyone pointed it out to her. She is so perfect she can't even admit she misspelled a word.
 
Amber shat out her next one:


Nothing super interesting, but a couple of small 'woah' moments since she was a little less restrictive with her camera angles and filming locations. You see a hint of the mess in that apartment in the spots she doesn't normally point the camera at. Other than Amber ordering a healthy dinner, everything else is just a remake of scenes from older vlogs.

-- NOVEMBER 25 2022 --

Location: Standing outside of the closet
"Hello hello. Today is Black Friday, might do some shopping". She's choosing her earrings. Boolean's Review: Gaudy. She also dons the faux leather shearling jacket.

Location: Outside of Bath and Body Works.
Blair Witch type footage as she goes into the shop and touches stuff. Jump cut and she leaves with a big bag.

Location: Outside of Marshalls
She claims it's been a decade since she's last been to a Marshalls. She's picking at purses, because of course she needs more to donate to GoodWill in January when she doesn't have other content. Looking at Christmas stuff. Amber says "Christmas has LIDURALLY puked in here", and I whole-heartedly agree. Films herself in front of the mirror for 1) The body shot to get engagement, and 2) To show there is no scooter. Jump cut and she leaves with two bags.

Location: Inside of a Vietnamese restaurant
Gets Bubble Tea, a chicken and mixed vegetable dish, a side soup (broth and scallions), and a cola which is just at the edge of view. She shows Jade's order of pho with an extra plate of bean sprouts. Amber sips the broth. Dinner over - Amber hated it. Calling it now: we're going to soon see a massive 'off track' gain as she has to make up for Jade pushing her into eating something healthy. Hey, don't call me the asshole here (although I am an asshole) - these are the rules of Amber's super unique BED as stated by Amber herself.

Location: In the kitchen of her 'luxery' apartment
HAUL TIME! "Black Friday Haul, WOOOO!" [Warning: lower your volume for the 'woo' part if you're wearing headphones]. Didn't buy much, because they were being responsible adults.

Marshalls: wrapping paper, wrapping paper, wrapping paper, wrapping paper, wrapping paper, potted fake plant, Vans shoes (Jade), makeup brush set/holder (Jade). Amber asks Jade "What are you going to use these for?" pointing to the cotton pads, and Jade has to tell Amber they are for CLEANING YOUR FACE.

Bath and Body Works: stress relief essential oil mist (Jade), 3 bars of soap (Jade), handsoap, handsoap holder, 3 wall 'flower holder thingies', red velvet nutcracker, 3 wallflower scents.

Location: Bathroom tub.
Jade is filming Amber giving Twinkie a bath. Jump cut, and Amber is holding Twinkie, who is wrapped in a towel. Amber says that Twinkie hates baths. Right now, Twinkie's expression seems to be asking why Jade didn't give her the bath like she always does. Amber gives advice on helping deal with your dogs fear of baths (and of course it involves FOOD).
[Public Service Announcement: Don't take advice from Amber]

Jump cut: Twinkie has the zoomies. Twinkie's jumping around on a bed that is in an absolute STATE. Poor dog's gonna need another bath after this. Twinkie invites Rarity to partake in zoomies, and is denied.

Location: Sitting at her desk.
Weird camera angle to show Twinkie sitting on the chair behind Amber's shelf. Amber is wrapping more gifts. Amber complains about her face. She rubbed it raw using the makeup wipes.

SCALE SCREEN: 506.4lbs. Off track day, but worth it because of carbageddon (which is everything you need to know about her weighloss intentions). Claims to have had 3 plates of Thanksgiving dinner the previous day ("meal 1", "meal 2", "meal 3").

Amber had a surreal molment at Marshalls. Normally, she feels smaller than she really is and forgets that she's the shape of the Deathstar, because she spends all of her time sitting at her desk and making duck lips into the viewfinder. The multiple full length mirrors at Marshalls shattered that delusion. She's noticed her recent weight gain and how big she truly is, and of course made a joke about this, because she doesn't actually care. Amber says she looks like someone stuck something inside of her and inflated it. [SKELETON IN A BEACH BALL!!] This is the first time in YEARS that Amber claims to have felt this way, and it was eye-opening and unfortunate. It slapped her in the face. Yes yes, "I now see what you see"; you say this once or twice a year. In fact, you were HEAVIER than this when you were doing a bunch of 'Before and After' shots to show how much weight you had lost - and then getting mad at the audience for seeing that you were still very big. Amber blames her ankle; blames her food addiction.

RARITY!! She senses the audience's anger rising at this bullshit, and gently puts her paw out as if to say "Gorl.... stahp!"

-- NOVEMBER 26 2022 --

Location: Sitting at her desk.
UNBOXING!! Amazon tat. "As a vlogger, you don't go around carrying huge ring lights". No, but generally vloggers do own them and use them in their homes/recording studios - you know, the location you film in 99.8% of the time?. It's an LED light with a similar size and dimensions to a drink coaster. Amber can't figure out the written instructions to turn on the light.

Amber plays with the light settings - I didn't pay attention. My attention was captured by the amount of pilling on her shirt, as well as the collar and armpit stains. Amber later points out the stains. So she KNEW that she looked like a hobo and CHOSE to wear this for the camera. Awesome. Amber blames her washing machine for ruining a lot of her clothing. I blame user error.

LEGO Update. First box done, she's now going to start on the second box.

SCALE SCREEN: 506.6lb. Off track.

YouTube Random Comment Picker:
KK says "Tammy lemon is an angel and she is really kind and lovely compared to you"
Amber's response is that she doesn't watch her, but knows of her content, and with what she has seen of her Amber thinks she is kind.

Amber gives a proper outro.

TL;DR: Shopping. Amber CAN SO walk and do stuff for herself! Chicken and vegetables, BLECH! Unboxings, SKELETON IN A BEACH BALL!!! Amber ponders possibly being fat. 506.6lbs. Comment of the day.
 
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