-- VLOGMAS 2022 --
Location: Sitting at her desk.
Amber is Rudolf the red nosed Reindeer (she has a zit). She won't be wearing makeup, and apologizes for you having to stare at it. It's a 'moment'. It probably has less to do with your makeup and more to do with the fact that you don't wash your face. Rambles about body and self-esteem issues because she hates filming without makeup on. The fact that you film yourself in all of your greasy, no makeup, unwashed glory more often than you don't kinda makes me believe that you actually feel pretty good about how you look.
Jump Cut!! Scratchers molment. She traded in an old winning $5 ticket from the summer, and used it to buy 5 $1 tickets: Loser, loser, loser, loser, $3.
Location: Standing in the kitchen.
Present time! Gimme gimme gimme! Jenga game. They debate over whether this is a board game or not.
Jump Cut: Amber is sitting on the couch while Jade stands in front of her to set up the game. Amber of course has to be a bitch and laugh/point out that Jade set it up 'upsidedown' because the Jenga stamps on the blocks are upsidedown. Jade warns Amber that she is the Jenga master. Amber yaps and cackles non-stop, while acting like a moron. Even Jade sounds annoyed with Amber's bullshit. Of course Amber 'accidentally' shoves it hard to knock it over, then acts like a 3 year old.
Jump Cut! Matching outfits. Kiss off camera. Jade wrote Amber a 'Roses are Red' type poem and it's #girlfriendgoals. Twinkie looks totally over all of this and is trying to lean away from Amber. Amber is watching ... something on YouTube. Sarah Ray? I don't care, do you care? Amber rambles about how she likes certain vloggers because they edit well and are snappy and not long-winded. Amber discusses this in her poorly edited vlog in a long-winded way. Blathers about a stain on the wall. BORING.
Jump Cut! Google Search "Is caffeine a drug". Who cares? I thought Amber avoided caffeine because of the sooper serious PAC paputations (palpitations) it causes her? In all seriousness, TMI, but my ticker throws a shit ton of uncomfortable but benign PACs (and they SUCK), so I avoid caffiene for the same reason... but it really is a non-issue. I guess this happens when stupid little things become your personality traits - or she's running out of content and needs more FILLER. Amber thinks caffeine being a drug is SO WEIRD and wonders if she's thinking too much about it. I don't know, but I'd personally never accuse Amber of 'thinking too much'.
Location: Sitting at her desk.
Ordered food! Poke Bowl. She's obsessed. Ginger, cucumber, Eddie's Mommy (never met her), wasabi peas, spicy crab, carrots, onion, wonton strips, spicy mayo (and of course WHITE RICE!!!) It stops her from binging because it's a filling MILL. And aaayg. She forgot to mention the aaayg. 12/10. Then why don't you cure your binging by learning how to make this and eat it for every meal - nevermind, we know why.
Jump cut! Jade is using the stupid TikTok hula hoop while listening to headphones.
Play-Doh Advent Calendar: Small tub or yellow-orange play-doh and a stamp for a scarf. Amber tried to make a melting snow man in a scarf.
Kitty Cat Advent Calendar: Rarity awaits with baited breath (not). Another ball with a bell in it. Rarity can't be arsed to get up, so Twinkie goes for it instead.
Twinkie is at a healthy weight, so Amber is fattening her up with treats again. She shows the dog treats from an earlier vlogmas video. Amber babbles because words are hard. Oh, she's complaining about her looks again. Amber says that rawhide is bad for dogs.
Jump Cut! LEGO update. Amber's on step 19 of the Titanic kit. She's trying to not build it so quickly.
Jump Cut! Amber's watching "Let's Make Chicken Stir-Fry" from the YouTube channel Peetz Of My Mind. Amber wants to send him a superchat - interrupts to talk about her looks for the 3rd time in this video. Amber implies the problem is that she's been taking the makeup off recently, which she never does (she scrubbed the shit out of her face with the wipe again). This is so rambly and disjointed that I'm now only hearing buzz words: SELF ESTEEM ISSUES. SELF-CONFIDENCE. SHALLOW. DISGUSTING. ANYWAYS.
She wants to give Peetz a superchat, but it will cause more harm than good because of Chantal. So over it. Fat shamed. Wrong. Not friends. Situation. Cooking now comes natural to Amber (Hahaha). Mental Illness, Hi. When she pops into people's chat, Amber gets hate. Was this what Amber was referring to when she was mentioning a Vlogmas collab? This isn't a collab, Amber. This is hell. Leave Chantal alone; she hates you.
SQUEEK!! RARITY!! Thank GOD, SAVE US with your cuteness. Ugh, Amber ignores Rarity and goes back to rambling. Here's an idea, if you REALLY want to send a superchat to support him, just use one of your many, many sock accounts to do it. Maybe it's time for 'Damon White' to become a fan of Peetz?
Location: Standing in her closet.
You've heard of spring cleaning, but Amber likes 'Fixing to be winter' cleaning. Deep cleaning, decluttering. Shows underwear - she's going to donate her unworn pairs to charity (so... all of them?). She shows us her sorting through her underwear drawer. You know... you're doing something really wrong in life if you find yourself spending pre-Christmas alone in your closet, deciding on which of your pairs of XXXXXXL underwear you're going to inflict on the poor - just sayin'. Though I will conceed the point that it's still better than being in the GoodWill in Kentucky shopping for said underwear.
Location: Sitting at her desk.
Weight Watchers candy bar taste test. Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie snack bar. 2 Points. 60 calories. Itty-bitty (it really is - it looks smaller than a funsize bar). 78 Daily points. 28 'freebie' points. 4 rollover points per day for the next day if she doesn't use all 78. She gets scared and thinks she has to eat them all (we know). She doesn't always eat them all (yes you do).
WAIT A SECOND... 30 points per calorie... 78 points plus 28 points... so, she gets to eat 3,180 calories per day? What starting weight did she put down?! What ACTIVITY LEVEL did she put down?! Is this a bulking diet? Are the 28 'Freebie' points extra daily points or weekly points? I don't care enough to look it up.
Back to taste test: "It tastes like what you would expect... A healthy....". Yeah, she hates it.
YouTube Random Comment Picker
Heatherboo says "I looove-ah ur vlogmas intro!!!!! Too cute"
Amber says OMG thank you Heather. Amber thought it was cringe, but also cute. She came up with it herself and the audio is authentic.
Not everyday is going to be super entertaining. She doesn't leave the house every day because muh lipedema and some days she needs to rest. Byee.
-- VLOGMAS 2022 --