Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[maybe a pigeon]

Wow, I'm so glad we're back! Now, two questions:

1. Could "bowling" be some Generation Z slang for a sexual act of some kind? I hope not, but the lingo these crazy kids come up with these days, amirite?

2. I've heard many people say that Amber is as fat as she was at her 2019 GayCare peak. I grabbed this screenshot from a recent Quirky Alert video. Do we think she is this fat now? Is she carrying the weight differently? Less in her face? I mean, look at the area under her eyebrows. She's carrying weight in her eye sockets, ffs. She doesn't look quite this gargantuan to me atm.

 

[Constellationzero]

Nobody cares about your WLS journey that will never amount to anything.

This fat piece of steatopygic shelf-ass shit needs to stop with the wEiGhT lOsS sUrGeRy bullshit yesterday.

It is extremely OBVIOUS that she isn't showering, probably not brushing her teeth, taking care of her stringy, greasy hair, and I can smell every Goddamn picture posted through the screen, two states away. If she can't even be fucked to do basic bitch maintenance on herself, how is she going to stick to a whole ass LIFESTYLE change.

BTW: That lifestyle change very likely includes (Best BET any licensed therapist worth their license told her this) will include getting the entire FUCK off Youtube and the internet since it clearly has done wonders for her appearance and mentullzz.

I'm going with anyone on here saying this POS is BED. BOUND.
She's Doordashing/UberEating and never leaving the house? She hasn't slowed the eating down and there's even LESS activity. GOD, that apartment must stink to high heaven.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

She hasn't slowed the eating down and there's even LESS activity. GOD, that apartment must stink to high heaven.

If you sit in a room with an unchanged litter box long enough, you don't even notice the smell anymore. But if you leave the room and get some fresh air, then come back to that room, PPPPUUUU!

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

Whines about lymphedema and says she’s swollen…eats spam for breakfast. Ok gorl.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

I didn't know what it was, but here's some tidbits found immediately after googling the book:
- Infinite Jest is a postmodern encyclopedic novel, famous for its length, detail and digressions involving 388 endnotes, some of which themselves have footnotes.

- It's typically regarded as difficult reading, due partly to its narrative structure, but mostly because of its length. Infinite Jest is 1,079 pages long, making it not ideal for subway reading but extremely effective as an emergency doorstop.

- That is not to say that “Infinite Jest” is a comforting book in any way. In fact, it's oftentimes highly disturbing. Nearly every sensitive topic — including animal abuse, sexual abuse, death and addiction — is contained within those pages.

- At more than 1,000 pages – with copious footnotes – Infinite Jest is a famously difficult read. It is the Gen-X Ulysses that even those like me, who consider themselves DFW superfans, are nervous to attempt, many preferring to feed their devotion with his essays and short stories.

So I'll say it too - which one of you did it!

ETA: Those quotes aren't by me, they were found on page 1 of a Google search for the book's title. Wonder if it's gonna show up in a future video where Hamber claims she "just doesn't vibe" with it.

And the author killed himself .

 

[FatalTater]

Doesn't care about expensive jewelry but when Jade gave her earrings the first words out of her mouth were to ask about the brand.

FailureLynn is gaining weight at record speeds. She'll be bigger than 2019 before autumn at this rate.

Anyone sending her books should scrounge up a copy of Susan Powter's Stop The Insanity! It's got some good advice plus the ever-important 90's nostalgia. None of the advice would be followed so we'd still get to watch her balloon up to an early grave.

 

[Witch Bitch]

She has become more and more desperate for people to send her things these past few months. She must be strapped for cash but is still begging people to send her shit because she NEEDS her instant gratification at the expense of whoever the fuck.

They buy so much meat and I've noticed that it always goes in the fridge, not the freezer. Are these two fatties really gorging on 8+ packages of various meat within the span of a week? Even when she does a somewhat "healthy" grocery haul, it is always enough to feed a family of at least 5 linebackers.

Gaycare era maxi dress:
View attachment 4849645
wipey era:
View attachment 4849661
Idk much about fat anatomy but it seems like she is 2019 fat but the elasticity of her shelf ass has drooped, just like all other parts of her skin.

ALSO WHICH ONE OF YOU SENT HER INFINITE JEST LMFAO

Idk the location of her chest seems the same, and like a good point of referenc. The stomach seems to have dropped and expanded. The spage between shelf ass and lower back just seems to be filling in.

Very, very heavy gurl here.

 

[Xenomorph]

FRIED EGGS HANGING ON A NAIL SAD BOLOGNA TITS LMAO

 

[Toothpaste Chocolates]

Honestly, given her propensity to lie, I feel like her WLS updates about meeting the dietitian and the appointments constantly being pushed back are just for her to prolong this arc even more, keep people hanging on longer, or for her to have more time to come up with better excuses/stories as to why she couldn't get WLS in the end. I dunno, I might be wrong about this.

 

[Constellationzero]

Doesn't care about expensive jewelry but when Jade gave her earrings the first words out of her mouth were to ask about the brand.

FailureLynn is gaining weight at record speeds. She'll be bigger than 2019 before autumn at this rate.

Anyone sending her books should scrounge up a copy of Susan Powter's Stop The Insanity! It's got some good advice plus the ever-important 90's nostalgia. None of the advice would be followed so we'd still get to watch her balloon up to an early grave.

Spoiler: The only books Fat Albert needs (or Jade)

Spoiler: Aaaaand for Goin' to Meetin'

 

[I call shenanigans]

Honestly, given her propensity to lie, I feel like her WLS updates about meeting the dietitian and the appointments constantly being pushed back are just for her to prolong this arc even more, keep people hanging on longer, or for her to have more time to come up with better excuses/stories as to why she couldn't get WLS in the end. I dunno, I might be wrong about this.

Not going to lie, but I seriously question what this meeting with “the team“ including the surgeon is. There’s no question that the “team” would have regular multi disciplinary team meetings, but patients don’t attend these. These meetings are just the various professionals coming together to discuss patients that may be ready to be scheduled, and what the next steps are for patients not going through the system smoothly. They are like tick box sessions, and make sure patients are progressing. If they aren’t progressing, these are also the meetings where the decision to discharge the patient from the practice also happens. Maybe she has managed to wrangle a surgeon appointment to get a final decision regarding this BED issue, but if she’s going to head into that meeting with the pub med article Mama Goob sent her, or bring up examples like expecting a drug addict to not use for a year before going into rehab, or needing a nail to hang her picture, she’ll be shown the door and handed a very large bill on the way out. I expect, if she is actually having a surgeon appointment, that he’ll lay down the law to her and ensure she understands. I also have a gut feeling she’s been emailing that dietician constantly and might be about to be told how inappropriate that is. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. Those of us who have been around long enough remember “My Dietician Blocked Me”. Maybe “the team” are making an exception in her case to either get her to pull her enormous head in, or find another bariatric practice. Guaranteed, Kentucky Bariatric Institute will have had lots of emails from folks by now about what Amber is putting online about them. I would actually sack her as a patient.

She better make damned sure she weighs less when they put her on the scale at that appointment as well. If she’s gained again it’s not going to do her any favours.

 

[marjoram]

One of the funniest posts I've ever read on the Farms was @Turd Blossom's "messages between FatAl and her dietician" after the My Dietician Blocked Me video. It was hilarious and probably pretty accurate and I wish I could find it again.

It was golden.

 

[I call shenanigans]

One of the funniest posts I've ever read on the Farms was @Turd Blossom's "messages between FatAl and her dietician" after the My Dietician Blocked Me video. It was hilarious and probably pretty accurate and I wish I could find it again.

It was golden.

Could have been lost to search function in the collapse of her sub forum. I’m sure all those threads are filed away somewhere, but you’d need a higher access level maybe to get to them.

ETA: I did find a post that said “My MLM Blocked me” when she was harassing her optavia coach. This bitch has form, and we know when she said she was emailing her dietician a lot recently, that she meant “A LOT”.

 

[Mekahineyho]

The best part of “my dietician blocked me” was the fact that she was hounding her on thanksgiving at like 3 am when the woman was definitely sleeping. She did the same thing to Zachary Michael when she asked him out to do a reaction video, and he didn’t respond to her fast enough because it was the middle of the night.

 

[Antiks]

This quarter ton waddling ham-beast isn't going to exert a single second attending appointments with a dietician. Nor will she waste any of her precious eating time going ahead with WLS. Since when has the wobbling hog followed through with anything other than what blasts out of her heinous ass-shelf when she bends over?

It's nothing more than a ruse to keep what's left of her knuckle dragging audience coming back for more endless updates regarding her imaginary "journey" to becoming a skinny legend. When in reality after each "vlog" Big Al shuts off the camera then shrieks and cackles in smug delight coz she's todally amazeen at trolling and so much better than a majority of us. Then she stuffs lard into her gaping maw whilst Jade Francis (Wipey) watches from the other side of the room in a state of feeder arousal.

The only thing she succeeds at is failing.

 

[TardiX]

The least believable part of this whole arc is how fast she gets responses and appointments. She just calls up and has an appointment that week or the next. They're corresponding with her via email every day even just to say "There is no update".

 

[A Widdle Woach]

I know I’m late but there’s no way in hell the Hamtard is actually reading Tender is the Flesh. If she were we’d all be hearing about how gross it is, how meat totally creeps her out guys, and how triggereeng it was for her to read.

I’m not going to list too many examples because we all know Hammy reads the thread but I highly doubt that out illiterate gorl could even pick up the themes of the book, the largest being empathy. Which our gorl doesn’t have and never will experience because she lacks the emotional depth to give a fuck about anything that isn’t herself or instant gratification through Uber Eats.

 

[Cornfed]

I hate the bullshit gravitas of saying "I now officially have" before any appointment. Her speech pattern in general makes me want to swallow a bullet, but in particular her pretending that setting an appointment is some Herculean affair.
She probably uses an automated email response system for setting up appointments, so she doesn't even have to call.
I still maintain that the whole thing is made up though. She is clearly housebound, and there is no way that WLS would progress past filling out interest forms without proof of sustained weight loss; and bitch, a scale don't lie.

 

[TardiX]

She more or less said in her recent video that this whole "team meeting" appointment is so she can argue the terms of WLS requirements. She sees herself gathering everyone around to say "What even is binging? You guyz have to rullize I'm tryeen to save my life..." and then say all the right things this time and the team will clap and ask how they could've been so wrong about her and schedule her surgery post haste so she can have a skinny hot girl summer.

 

[Totally real FBI Frank]

She more or less said in her recent video that this whole "team meeting" appointment is so she can argue the terms of WLS requirements. She sees herself gathering everyone around to say "What even is binging? You guyz have to rullize I'm tryeen to save my life..." and then say all the right things this time and the team will clap and ask how they could've been so wrong about her and schedule her surgery post haste so she can have a skinny hot girl summer.

One of the few satisfactions I have in life is knowing that this cow will NEVER moo her way into a “hot girl summer”. Ain’t no fucking way she’s gonna fool ANY of the multitudes of actual medical professionals she attempts to manipulate into the surgery that she clearly views as a magic pill. Even if she were cunning enough to pull that off, she’d still have enough loose skin to be Hannibal Lechters wet fucking dream. I actually kinda wish she would, the lols would be mother’s milk for the soul.