Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[I call shenanigans]

Wasn't she supposedly getting weight loss surgery? I remember her and Hannah posting about it shortly after Amber quit her journey to nowhere (in July or so). I guess stapling the stomach shut has become so commonplace that it no longer gives you that same level of validation and "so brave!" from internet randos.

That was Hannah. In the joint livestream they did months ago, Hannah was about to to undergo some kind of spinal surgery to be followed after her recovery by WLS. This was also the stream where Rafe announced her FtM transition. I remember posting about it at the time but can’t find it via the search function for some reason. I don’t recall if Rafe was also trying for WLS, but the size she was would mean she’d likely need it prior to be approved for GRS. Both Hannah and Rafe are huge.

In other ALR orbiter news Rosie Faye (a sometimes ALR reactor that was particularly vocal during the Strawberry Hill fiasco) had WLS in Mexico 8 months ago, and has just announced she’s 27 weeks pregnant. In her recent video she’s comparing her results to Alex’s results. Down over 100lbs apparently, while also trying to grow a baby. Seriously, do none of these cows ever think to follow medical advice/instructions.

 

[Mekahineyho]

SAW (2023)

 

[Bogliacci]

Oh man please let Amber turn into some evangelical cat lady, maybe we'll get some actual new side characters from that

 

[Even more 8008135]

SAW (2023)
View attachment 5454468

Reminds me of fellow waste-of-oxygen Life By Jen's Lymphodema Cheek.

 

[peach tea]

I fucking refuse to watch a church arc.

I harely keep up with this giant baby as it is. I only check up with the thread at this point and even then I barely come here once a week. Something about an evangelical, born again amberlynn will be more smug than even veteran haydurs will be able to tolerate. She already thinks she’s better than everyone else. Imagine adding that particular flavor of delusion that only American Christians have, but fat.

No thanks lol I’m not even an edgelord atheist neckbeard. I just have to draw the line somewhere and this is it.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

She went to a children's discovery museum. A children's museum. I hope she went because there are some fat related children she tagged along with and not because she's still cosplaying a toddler with her grade school books and little snacky bags of crackers Zaddy Jade use to make her.

eta: "these planets are called gas giants"

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Plot Summary with commentary. Let's go!

Spoiler: let's go to the science museum, target haul, and went to church! | vlog

No decent freeze frame at 0:00. Pity.

Starting with a 'taste test molment'. It's a pickle in a bag - an item which she's bought multiple times before. Amber talks about not liking big pickles because she's a gold star lesbian because it's a texture thing.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Reminiscing about her highschool days in the movie theatre...

Amber pretends that she doesn't like it because she's a gold star lesbian because it's sour and not really spicy. I get the feeling that this was added to give Zachary Michael something to make his penis/sex jokes about.

JUMPCUT!! At the Science Museum. Okay, I'm just gonna say it: Methmama taking Ambo to a place meant for 8 year olds is just plain weird and pathetic... and a little creepy - as Baby Huey was the oldest 'child' there.

Amber's moving through a mirror maze. You know, I remember those mirror mazes in lots of places, and the pathways weren't that wide. Gorl might get stuck.

LOL! Right after I wrote that, Amber mentions that she's worried about getting stuck. LOL!

FREEZE FRAME!!

I have absolutely no words for this SHITUATION TYPE DEAL.

Amber goes into the autism cave.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Will they acknowledge her diagnosis of ASMR?

Next they went inside a Planetarium... to properly classify Amber. Guy talks about constellations, and says something about them making up their own? Thankfully for Amber, that level of creativity is unnecessary as she's a dead-ringer for Ophiuchus (the 13th zodiac in our current day zodiac for non-dorks with a life who don't know what I'm talking about).

Now talking about gaseous giants - HEY, AMBER! THAT'S YOU!

JUMPCUT!! It's the next day and she's back at home.

FREEZE FRAME!!

I think the children's museum broke her brain...

Amber made her mom spend the night with her for a sleepover to watch Barbie. This is getting fucking weird. Amber, I was ONLY JOKING about you dating your mom!! Don't actually date her!

Amber personally cries during that movie... because she's as hollow-headed as the dolls which inspired the film.

Amber tells us that after the science museum, they went out for dinner (shocker!) and then went to grandma's house to harass her
(no service animals were harmed in the making of this vlog).

Now it's time to go to church, because last Sunday they went to the casino. Amber reminds us that she's agnostic while her mother "believes in God and all that". Methmama's gonna try to pray away the gay!

FREEZE FRAME!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Is this Methmama's church?!

JUMPCUT!! Back home and it's 10:30pm. She met her mom's boyfriend's family (obsessed!) and YES, that WAS Methmama's church. Amber sang along to the "I love Jesus; I love God" stuff and started CRYEEEN, you guize! Amber says that 9 times out of 10 she cries when she goes to church - agnostic y'all! WIMP! [Though to be fair, every time I find myself in a church I'm doing all I can to NOT burst into flames, so maybe I end up missing some good stuff?]

Amber says that Methmama says that she knows this isn't going to change Amber's opinion on church and religion - and I say BULLSHIT and stand by my original suspicion that Kristine's trying to pray away the gay.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Amber might suspect it also...

Amber knows that GOD is the reason why Kristine's 8 years sober (you know... not because she's stopped using and went through the discomfort of trying to learn a new way to live... GOD decided to make Kristine a total plague on society for decades, then just suddenly decided one day to fix the broken part in her). Hey, does that mean when she uses again (or beats up another service dog) it's God's fault? Or is it a sort of "your accomplishments are because of Me but your failures are because of you" type of situation type deal? I'm off-topic; we're here for Ambo, not Kristine. Let's get back on track.

TARGET HAUL TIME!! Toilet paper, cat scratcher, lined paper, diet coke, couscous, wheat thins, kinder bueno, squish-mallow(?), swiffer, olly melatonin gummies, cascade pellets for the diswasher (as Jade the diswasher is gone, Amber's aversion to dishwashers has also disappeared), garbage bags, and a chocolate bar.

OMG!! Wasabi chillin' like a villain on the baseboard. I'm putting the picture outside of the spoiler. SO CUTE!!

Thanks for watching! Placard with no proper outtr

TL;DR: Amber does a jumbo pickle taste test which ended up being borderline pornographic. Amber went to the science museum to play with stim toys with all of the other children. Amber went to the planetarium for classification (despite us already knowing she's a gaseous giant). Amber went to Methmama's 'church', and listened to a rock band. Amber bought groceries and dishwasher pod-thingies at Target.

Edit: I put something the spoiler, but thought I'd drop a bit out here as well. Ophiucus (13th zodiac sign - the snake charmer). Currently visible, but wasn't as easy to see during Babylonian times (which is why it's not in the traditional zodiac - telescopes, plus we've moved a bit over the last 5 millennia) A giant bulbous body with limbs? That's Amber alright (I tried to find a bulbous body with a yappy rat dog, but astrology isn't an exact science, ya know).

Oh, and Wasabi did this:

I know cats aren't everyone's thing... but damn he's cute in this pic. This was the highlight of the vlog.

 

[I call shenanigans]

Of course methmomma goes to a cultish evangelical church! Couldn’t possibly be a run of the mill local Catholic or Anglican style one, it has to be a mega church. I haven’t even watched this video and I already know! Mark my words, this cult will be her new addiction if methmomma gets her way. Give it time, but it won’t take much.

Kiss goodbye to most of your remaining audience Amber if you think you can make this your new arc!

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

What is it with lolcows and pickles?

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Those rock n roll churches are designed to capture and enchant a particular low IQ caste like Mother Meth and Amber. They appeal to a very specific sort. The women folk usually worship Janis Joplin and attend Bob Seger concerts and do the whole woooohooo thing.

The men don bandannas to hide their bald. Looking badass in them? Bonus. They're the type who think Def Leppard is the greatest band in the world because the drummer only has one arm, man.

Next stop for Amber: Tattoo. Mark my words. Mark them!

 

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

What is it with lolcows and pickles?

Well, we got Chins reverting and eating pickled shit with every meal, we might as well get evangelical Albert shoving giant dildo pickles in her face. Thank god Anna is still modestly entertaining to watch because you couldn't pay me to raw dog Al or Chins these days.

 

[Mekahineyho]

Those rock n roll churches are designed to capture and enchant a particular low IQ caste like Mother Meth and Amber. They appeal to a very specific sort. The women folk usually worship Janis Joplin and attend Bob Seger concerts and do the whole woooohooo thing.

The men don bandannas to hide their bald. Looking badass in them? Bonus. They're the type who think Def Leppard is the greatest band in the world because the drummer only has one arm, man.

Next stop for Amber: Tattoo. Mark my words. Mark them!

She did say on a livestream semi recently that she’s going to get a matching tat with her mom. Most likely it will be dainty cursive script of “ I love you” or a cherry

 

[StrawberryDouche]

She did say on a livestream semi recently that she’s going to get a matching tat with her mom. Most likely it will be dainty cursive script of “ I love you” or a cherry

I hope she goes the typical fat bitch route and gets an anchor.

Fat bitches and pickles, man.

 

[Bogliacci]

Those rock n roll churches are designed to capture and enchant a particular low IQ caste like Mother Meth and Amber. They appeal to a very specific sort. The women folk usually worship Janis Joplin and attend Bob Seger concerts and do the whole woooohooo thing.

The men don bandannas to hide their bald. Looking badass in them? Bonus. They're the type who think Def Leppard is the greatest band in the world because the drummer only has one arm, man.

Next stop for Amber: Tattoo. Mark my words. Mark them!

I'll give them props if they did in fact help meth mama get clean and stay clean. What I wanna know is what church it is to investigate how biblical they keep it. What kind of drama might happen if it's a church that doesn't accept fags? Hmmmm

 

[goat sneed]

Now Rafe is a "Plant Daddy" with a neckbeard lmao wondering if Becky will let her beard grow wild and free.

Does she need testosterone? She passed really well as an obese teenage boy from an 80s movie.

I don't get this pooner shit, but Becky is surrounded by it. Something tells me this'll either end in a break-up or the other fatty doing the same. I wonder if Becky wants to go this route too? She had some weird era of vaguely being non-binary in 2021, but her finances probably put a halt on any hormonal self-harm.

Spoiler: pooner sperg

Why do these individuals always look the same? You'll have the odd not-an-eyesore weirdos like Buck or Jammi, but it's like being a human thumb is required for this shit. Good example: the pooner that almost died because she wanted the zipperjob while over 300lbs:

Same goddamn physiognomy.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Since when is one of Amber's favorite song "Come Together" lol whuuuu?

Everything Amber touches turns to troons. Casey, Rafe, Jade, Becky going all gender confused. Two more weeks going to church and Jesus is going to transition.

 

[I call shenanigans]

What is it with lolcows and pickles?

Low calorie, high sodium, and wake up an otherwise dead palette.

I hope she goes the typical fat bitch route and gets an anchor.

My guess would either be a zodiac (although that wouldn’t match her mums unless they’re the same star sign, a “Carpe diem” or methmomma’s favourite cherries.

What kind of drama might happen if it's a church that doesn't accept fags?

Pretty much all churches have found a way to accept gays these days, Muslims excluded. They realised that their congregations need to embrace, or at least tolerate them, because their numbers are dwindling. Given their reliance on financial “offerings” to survive, they know they can no longer cut off a whole section of society.

 

[Mekahineyho]

Her mom cackling at unfunny dumb shit. Like mother like daughter

 

[Bogliacci]

Pretty much all churches have found a way to accept gays these days

It may come as a surprise, but these loosey goosey evangelicals are often times the biblical hardliners compared to the mainline protestants (episcopal, lutheran, methodist etc.)

From her short video, I think Mama Meth may have taken Amber to one of the three Life.Church churches around OKC. Their setup seems consistent with what she showed in the video, and they're a part of the ECC, which doesn't condone same sex relationships. However I can't find any good pictures of the the three just some general stuff from their website.

 

[I call shenanigans]

What I wanna know is what church it is to investigate how biblical they keep it.

I don’t personally care enough to do do the research, and sorry to any Farmers I might insult here, but if you want to start looking (all services will guaranteed be online), start looking at churches with Baptist/Baptiste in their name, if that doesn’t yield the result, look for Churches of Christ/God, then any church that calls themselves a “Life Church”. By then I have no doubt you will have found the one you’re looking for.