Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Boolean Bitch]

Sorry to wake you guys up, but Amber posted again (about 4 hours ago). Don't worry about rushing to catch up - it was mostly trash/fabricated drama.

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Df_xAj2fhfA

Plot Summary with Commentary. When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was shaming her audience for noticing her toxic behaviour, and allowed Twinkie to get into some sort of unknown mess that Amber was too lazy to clean, turning Twinkie's face green with a mystery substance. What's happening today? Let's find out! Take us in!

Spoiler: I got a new piercing!, let's talk about my boyfriend, & my hidden talent | vlog

"Hello hello, welcome to a new vlog". Improper intro.

Amber points out her greasy shit-bun hair and scruffy shirt. Amber pretends that she's going to shower, but not wash her hair - as she thinks people are only capable of noticing her greasy hair but not her greasy skin, and that claiming to shower totally tricks us. WE CAN SMELL YOU THROUGH THE SCREEN. Hair wave vs crimp talk to stick it to the haydurz [SKIP]

Amber claims that appearing on camera as a disheveled mess doesn't make her feel confident. Then stop making the choice to do this.

JUMPCUT!! Amber got ready - and looks as greasy as before. Amber talks about Trisha Paytas and Amber's crush of GG Gorgeous. More hair talk [SKIP]

Time for a discussion - oh, nevermind, it's just perfume talk about new stuff she's bought and 'smelt' [SKIP]

People are assuming that she has a boyfriend. It's not true because Amber's not interested in men. She's a lesbian - did you know that? I'm not sure if she's told us that before...

FREEZE FRAME!!

Haha, Brain.exe has crashed. looks like it's time to reboot.

Just because Amber said she is talking to 'people' doesn't mean she's talking to men!

JUMPCUT!! Amber pretends that she just came back from a walk with Twinkie. More Trisha Paytas and GG Gorgeous talk.

PIERCING TALK!! Amber pretends that her face was more round in 2019 when in reality, her face is the same and filter technology has progressed by leaps and bounds in the last 4 years. Though to be fair aging, menopause, and gravity may also be having an effect on the shape of her face. ANYWAY, blah blah blah. Amber blabs about her hysterectomy, about not feeling worthy of getting a piercing before but now loving herself, about her fear of needles, about her previous piercings, about checking reviews of the place.... but not about what piercing she's going to get.

JUMPCUT!! Hurpling footage of Amber 'walking' to the shop (when she's likely just walking from the spot where Methmam's car is parked).

FREEZE FRAME!!

Yes, far less moon-shaped in 2023 compared to 2019. Also this picture is very unsettling. Not only because of the eye contact, but the fact that she looks like a grandmother AND a toddler at the same time. That's some uncanny valley shit right there.

Amber babbles to the camera, and to Methmam (because Amber can't even get a piercing without her mommy holding her hand).

JUMPCUT!! Outside of shop. It's done. Amber got a stud on the other side of her nose.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Hopefully she doesn't 'outgrow' this one like the did her hoop.

Kristine is a haydur because "she just doesn't get piercings". Amber complains that Kristine parked too far from the door of the shop.

JUMPCUT!! Panda Express. Time to eat! Amber gets the fortune that she should share her talents with her community.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Bloody hell, Amber!! The fortune meant for you to use your skills to BENEFIT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!! IT DIDN'T TELL YOU TO PICK YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE! For FUCKSAKES! Can't take you anywhere. Also, her hair is so disheveled. Between that and the smell, I wonder how many people who passed her today thought she was homeless?

Next stop, to the Smoke Shop to get some Delta 8 - while being out with her recovering drug addict mother. Reason number 543,442 why Amber is a piece of shit.

JUMPCUT!! Riding shotgun in Kristine's car like a scrub, showing off her 'Lost THC Live Resin THCA Liquid Diamond Dosi Punch Hybrid' (I don't know, I'm just reading the box). Kristine is holding the vape, and Amber tears it away saying she shouldn't be holding it, then tells the camera that Kristine is sober from everything. Then why are you unboxing this in front of her? Film it when you're back home by yourself, you shithead! Remember when Amber flew in a rage when someone sent her some cake (that was also meant for Jade), because you shouldn't bring vices around an addict? Kiwi Farms remembers...

Amber doesn't understand the free delta product that the guy at the store gave her, and Kristine explains it to Amber from off screen, LOL!

JUMPCUT!! Shopping and hurpling action at CityTrends! (whatever that is - some sort of discount outlet mall?)

JUMPCUT!! Kristine rolled Amber out of the car and sped away, leaving Amber alone at her apartment again. Amber just got home, fed the fur babies, and is NOW about to wash her hands (because she's a disgusting pig). Amber's about to clean her new nose ring. I was going to ask what you wanted to bet that this gets infected, but I'm sure her mommy will watch out for Amber and step in to take care of it when Amber doesn't bother to keep it clean enough and it gets infected.

Amber tells us that she was recognized a few times in the piercing place and even asked for photos. I'm guessing this was an embellishment and maybe ONE person recognized her.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Amber's been talking to someone on Instagram and they've asked her to hang out. People have asked Amber that before, but she chooses not to meet up. Anyway, coincidence of coincidences, the person that met her and was asking for her photo at the piercing place was a FRIEND of the person she's been talking to on instagram! Maybe I'm just a suspicious person, but this would be a field of red flags for me (as I'm SURE she mentioned to her 'friend' on instagram about going to get the piercing).

Amber sees this as a sign that she needs to meet this mysterous instagram person, and not a sign that there are schenanigans going on behind the scenes.

Amber doesn't see anything wrong with this, because the friend she met at the piercing place had such "good energy". Oh, and the person on Instagram who she's never met before also has such good energy. Amber keeps going on about how astronomical the odds of this happenning organically actually is, without realising that this meet up was likely not organic in nature.

Amber's going to show the step by step of cleaning out her new hole [SKIP]

Amber talks about how the large lump on her nose by her nose ring was caused by the piercing process and is SUPER COMMON with piercings. Hmmm, so common that I've NEVER SEEN ANYONE GET ONE BEFORE. Hmmm. Amber prays to the universe that she doesn't get another 'super common' warty-looking bump.

CITYTRENDS HAUL!! Cheap perfume and shower gel, garbage airpods pro cover case, and junky hoop and stud earrings. More like SHITTY-TRENDS, amirite?!

(... yeah, that one was bad).

JUMPCUT!! Sitting on the couch, talking about her ex AGAIN. Thinking about real ramen would make Amber think of her ex (because Jade liked proper ramen)... so Amber ordered proper ramen. Amber's thinking of her ex (obsessively), but isn't bawling - PROGRESS!! Amber thinks it's dumb that she has to say this - and for once, I agree with Amber!

JUMPCUT!! TWINKIE!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber tells her audience that she usually keeps a super-clean apartment, but she left out her bowl from when she had the pesto tortelinni, and that's what Twinkie got into. If you keep such a tidy and clean place, how did you not notice it was out? Why did it take you multiple DAYS to track down the source of contamination?

Amber talks about Twinkie's bowel movements [SKIP]

Amber creates a proper outro to end the video. Byee!!

TL;DR: Amber talks about her dirty and disheveled hair multiple times in the video. Amber doesn't have a boyfriend you HAYDURZ, she's a LEZ-BEAN!! (Did you know that? I think she might have mentioned it once or twice...) Amber gets a nose stud piercing, then goes out for Panda Express. Amber picks her nose with her tongue in order to show her talents to her community. Amber hits the vape shop and waves around her Delta8 shit in front of her recovering addict mother. Amber has been talking to someone on Instagram who could be the next love of her life, but this mysterious person's friend COINCIDENTALLY runs into Amber at the piercing place (and Amber is not at all suspicious about this chance encounter). Amber sees this as a sign that she NEEDS TO MEET this Instagram person. Amber buys some junky stuff and shows it off. Amber claims that Twinkie got a green face because she got into the dirty bowl of pesto tortelinni that Amber was too lazy to bother cleaning up off her coffee table.

What do you think is going on regarding the mysterous Instagram person? I have three theories:
1) It's her next true love (I personally don't believe this)
2) It's a troll working with their friend to set up Amber
3) It's a human trafficker trying to kidnap Ambo to turn her into 400 lbs of soap
I'm guessing number 3. What do you gorls think?

 

[FatalTater]

Remember when Chantal got her nose pierced? That was fun.

 

[Mekahineyho]

The smoke shop man gave Amber a free sample so of course that means he wants to bang her.

 

[YourName56]

Amber shouldn't take her mom to those places.

 

[Skinless Nugget]

Amber talks about how the large lump on her nose by her nose ring was caused by the piercing process and is SUPER COMMON with piercings

I think she's trying to claim her nose wart is a keloid, even though the wart is nowhere near her saggy piercing. Also, did anyone notice how dirty & disgusting her sunglasses were? JFC, she doesn't clean or take care of fucking anytheeeen.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Yes, far less moon-shaped in 2023 compared to 2019. Also this picture is very unsettling. Not only because of the eye contact, but the fact that she looks like a grandmother AND a toddler at the same time. That's some uncanny valley shit right there.

She looks like one of the child pageant queens on Toddlers and Tiaras.

 

[Salvador Dali]

Hamber’s gonna get hooked on those delta vapes and become even more fat, lazy and retarded.

Is Hamber’s mother smart enough to have taken a life insurance policy out on her given that Amber is fat and is developing some sort of substance abuse problem? It’s a given that Amber is going to start mixing weed and alcohol pretty soon which I’m sure will have positive impacts on her mentulzz.

Psychosis-Lynn arc when?

 

[bloodyexplosion]

View attachment 5550792

"WAHH why won't anyone be with me when the downfall of all my relationships is my fault but I blame it on "mental illness" which I also refuse to work on because I don't need to change, don't want to change, but already have changed, you just can't see it WAHH BLUBB BLUB BLUBB"

Everything she spews is just excuses on top of excuses. Her inability to hold herself accountable when she binges and blaming it on something like "restricting too much". It reflects the way she blames all of her shit relationships on her "mental illness". She will recognize it's a problem, but will throw a tantrum if anyone tries to give her a solution.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

Great, just what she needs, another nose piercing. She never takes the other one out to change the jewelry or even clean it, so what the hell is the point of this?

Speaking of things she definitely needs…vapes. Those will work wonders for her dangleen lung the next time a mystery breathing issue wants to rear its ugly head. Oh well, I hope Kristine has the car gassed up for a midnight ER run, it’s been a while.

 

[Hippy Dippy]

Hamber’s gonna get hooked on those delta vapes and become even more fat, lazy and retarded.

Is Hamber’s mother smart enough to have taken a life insurance policy out on her given that Amber is fat and is developing some sort of substance abuse problem? It’s a given that Amber is going to start mixing weed and alcohol pretty soon which I’m sure will have positive impacts on her mentulzz.

Psychosis-Lynn arc when?

Can her mother even get a life insurance policy on this whale? Like, what’s stopping each of us from taking out a policy on her as well? Now that would be the kicker. Thousands of life insurance policies being written up on all the morbidly obese social divas who think they’re healthy and fine.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

Amber shouldn't take her mom to those places.

exactly. what a cunt. she orders everything else online, why make her mother with substance use issues take her to a shop?

also when Amber was waddling up to the piercing place, it's hilarious how the camera sways to and fro like her gait.

 

[Skinless Nugget]

Can her mother even get a life insurance policy on this whale? Like, what’s stopping each of us from taking out a policy on her as well? Now that would be the kicker. Thousands of life insurance policies being written up on all the morbidly obese social divas who think they’re healthy and fine.

I believe the party you're taking the policy out on has to know about it & agree. I've thought of this as well..

 

[Turd Fergusson]

I think that all the weird things that Amber has been doing lately are only to create some sort of controversy. The"eating with a measuring spoon", the "buying vaping equipment", the "meeting a new stalker flame at the piercing shop", etc, are mentioned to create engagement because Amber has absolutely nothing to talk about. The next video will be about doing a grocery or shopping haul since she went shopping with her mother this weekend.

She keeps saying that she has "tea" on herself, which is laughable since she spends most of her day watching TikTok, playing with her phone, and eating.

 

[Even more 8008135]

She looks like one of the child pageant queens on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Bitch looks like a fatter, dirtier, more wrinkled 2023 Honey Boo Boo.

 

[Truffle Logger]

Isn't Oklahoma one of the last places with actual lesbian bars?

Instead of sitting in her apartment wishing and hoping someone slides into her dm's she should get her winged eyeliner on and waddle down there! She can drink with other people more socially and less alcoholically and maybe rope in another wiper

 

[FatalTater]

Isn't Oklahoma one of the last places with actual lesbian bars?

Instead of sitting in her apartment wishing and hoping someone slides into her dm's she should get her winged eyeliner on and waddle down there! She can drink with other people more socially and less alcoholically and maybe rope in another wiper

That's a nice idea but she'll never get someone to agree to stay if they can smell her immediately. Gotta lure 'em in from a distance, then lock the door.

Eating with weird utensils, getting a piercing, going to buy drugs...Call me when she shaves her head on a livestream.

 

[Xenomorph]

Amber shouldn't take her mom to those places.

Amber wants her Mother to relapse lmao

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

I believe the party you're taking the policy out on has to know about it & agree. I've thought of this as well..

In order to purchase a life insurance policy on someone, the OWNER of that policy must have an insurable interest in the insured person’s life. The insured party does not have to know the policy exists. Many times you’ll see on true crime shows spouses who bought policies on the other spouse without them knowing. Perfectly legal. The insured person also cannot cancel those policies. Only the policy owner can do that (however, if fraud is discovered, the insurer can and will rescind the policy). I could take out several policy on Trooper Dogshit without his knowledge. He’s my husbando, so if he dies, my finances are impacted. Same goes for him. If I crap out tomorrow, he’s going need to pay people to do the shit I do around here.

I cannot buy a policy on my best friend. I’d be bereft and borderline suicidal if she goes tits up tomorrow, but my finances won’t take a hit.

People who go into businesses together will often each take out a policy on the other guy. No insurance company will knowingly let some fuckin rando take out a policy on Hamber. In fact, NO life insurance company is going to issue more than a “guaranteed issue” policy on her. If she had a job and life insurance was a benefit she could get a small (probably 10k) policy. She might be able to get ridiculously expensive insurance you see advertised on TV.

 

[Ayygs and Layygs]

A 32 year old woman thinks getting a nose piercing and using fake weed is edgy. Wake me up when her mom introduces her to meth.

 

[pippeyyy]

A 32 year old woman thinks getting a nose piercing and using fake weed is edgy. Wake me up when her mom introduces her to meth.

Hey, she's eaten off the carpet before. So fingers crossed she will think she will be a skinny, sexy queen with fake teeth by using it, just like Mama. (Well as she sees Mama)