Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
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Guess we know what Hammy is gonna go back on soon
 
I see her ears have disappeared again. But she's only 510lbs (or whatever), guise. I believe she uses filters, too. A few pages back some screenshots were posted, and that double chin is something else.
She's so boring, my god. I didn't look at Chantal's thread for a couple days and it moves 15+ pages. Hammy's barely moved 2. Tragic.
 
I will never understand how she can make the living she does with the absolute garbage she shits out. I must be from a time when quality and hard work made money.

I feel like I say this at least 5 times a year at this point, but she doesn’t make the money people think she makes. Not with the views she gets, the length of her videos and then frequency she uploads. She makes just enough to live. The only time she ever made money was a couple years between the end of the Destiny era and during part of the Gaycare era. It’s been a slow and steady decline since.

She probably makes about $4k on a good month and with her spending habits, she’s pretty much broke within 2 weeks. She has no savings and owns nothing. If she had a car, insurance, registration or anything other than what she’s paying for as is, she wouldn’t even have the little bit she spends on Uber eats. She absolutely fumbled the bag she was getting and it’s paycheck to paycheck now.

I think 99% of people would rather have a real job that pays less than to earn the living she does. The rug can get pulled at any time and she will have absolutely nothing to show for it other than an extra 300lb worth of body fat and a pile of worthless junk from Amazon and Torrid. The price she pays is the life she’s living now. It’s not worth what she makes. It wouldn’t be worth it if she was making the infamous Chantal “$20k a month”.
 
5 dollars is too much for the garbage she produces. I know she isn’t the only one; SM is full of losers giving birth to steaming dumps on the daily and getting paid for it. It just boggles my Gen X mind

I don’t disagree with you but YouTube isn’t going to take the time to pick between whose content is worth it and whose isn’t. Millions of people upload every day and advertisers don’t give a shit as long as their commercial isn’t being slapped onto something that can get them canceled.

Supporting YouTubers and content creators is pretty much as free market as it gets. Nobody forces anyone to click on Amber’s videos, or anyone else’s garbage content for that matter. If the only people who clicked were people who actually like Amber, she would make $100 a month in Adsense tops. It’s the 99% of her audience who can’t resist interacting with someone they hate that keeps her going. Same goes for every other cow like Chantal. Or hell, even people like Shanny and Rev who have been farting along on donations people give them to spite reaction channels for like 5 years now.

It’s simple supply and demand and the cows know it. Just look at the number of supportive comments and channel members Chantal gets vs the views she gets. She’s got less than 200 people who supposedly like her and 9,800* who pay her bills even though they can’t stand her. It’s simple supply and demand. People demand outrage and messiness and the girls supply a steady flow of things to be mad about. It’s not their fault that the average person is too weak minded to disengage. I don’t blame them one bit. It’s not like they have anything else to live for. Might as well soak up the coins and internet infamy while it lasts.
 
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I watched the archive, muted.

If you have to make a living eating pickles while eyeing yourself in a camera then fine, but Amber? SHUT YOUR FRIDGE DOOR YOU WORTHLESS TURD! Jeez.

Twinkie is cute but her eyes looked a little off to me.

Amber stirring that pot of macaroni for so long... wasting time to make a longer video yes, but.... was she flexing her wheat privilege on those of us who have allergies? I see you, AbleistLynn.

Not watching her drink for attention while lying. Life hasn't gotten to that level of dull yet.
 
Plot Summary with Commentary. When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was waiting outside at 2am in a sketchy drug deal situation type deal for Taco Bell, made counterfeit chili for Kristine, and was attempting to bullshit her audience on the superior hydration of yellow #5 and blue #1. And now for today's vlog (whenever "today" actually is in the Amberverse). Take us in!

FREEZE FRAME!!!
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Off to a good start...

"Hello hello, welcome to a new vlog. I know I've been MIA". First, incorrect intro. Second, you're mistaken in thinking that we care about the fact that you've been 'MIA'. Third, you haven't been 'MIA': you've been sitting on your couch eating in front of the TV. Like every other day.

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Amber realizes that she has a million things to say, but none of them are worth saying... making this the first hint of self-awareness ever displayed on her channel!

It took Amber two hours to put her hair in a high pony with some waves in it. For people (@Xenomorph!!!) who have been asking about her "fairy hair": yes, she STILL has the kitty-butt tinsel in there. Fairy hair-care talk - to pad out the video. We don't need a long drawn out story about how you tied a piece of tree tinsel to a strand of your hair [SKIP]

JUMPCUT!! Taking Twonko for a wee. Amber pretends that she's actually going to take the dog for a walk.

FREEZE FRAME!!!
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Looks like Twinkie's gaining weight.

JUMPCUT!! Back at home, trying to stuff herself into her fridge.

Insert "Improving my stamina" comment.

Insert "Eating a lot of sodium" comment. It doesn't matter how much you try to show us you eating lots of salt - we still know that your expansion is due to fat gain.

Food talk. Pickle 'taste test' on camera for degen clicks. Amber pretends that she actually has a pickle brand preference, and she shows it off like Truman's wife would show off products on 'The Truman Show'. Amber found another flavor of Gatorade she likes (and somehow this one seems to ALSO only have the full sugar version available in OKC stores).

FREEZE FRAME!!!
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CLOSE THE FRIDGE DOOR!!

More food talk. Amber's going to have some (premade) pesto tortellini.

JUMPCUT!! At the bingo. I was going to give you a freeze frame, but it's just a zoomed in view of Amber's titties (and even I'm not that much of an asshole to do that to you).

JUMPCUT!! Just left bingo. Amber lost again. Kristine won. So... maybe this was Friday? I only suspect that because in a previous vlog, Amber said that she was going to be the third wheel for every one of Kristine and BF's Friday bingo date nights because Amber had nothing better to do. Though to be honest, that's also me assuing that Kristine and BF only gamble 1/week. Nevermind.

JUMPCUT!! Back at home, with Twinkie in the bathroom sink. Amber the pet owner from hell left something out (that she doesn't even know what), and Twinkie got into it, got green stuff all over her face, and needed to be cleaned up. I'm sure this is nonsense, and she's made this up/embellished for rage-engagement from her pet-loving audience.

JUMPCUT!! Amber's going to watch Squid Game - and get drunk by herself. Amber tells us not to worry (NO ONE CARES). Amber's not turning to alcohol (she just said that earlier for filler content). Squid Game and Jersey Shore are her top two shows.

Amber brings up Chantel - to pad out the video and to try and start drama with the Burka'ed Beachball. I don't care [SKIP]

JUMPCUT!! Alcohol talk. She's also going to have lots of salt, salt, and salt with it (cheese, crackers, processed meat).

JUMPCUT!! More food. Amber's craving carbs, so she's going to have butterned noodles. I'm not recapping how to make buttered noodles [SKIP]

Amber mentions that she's not on track in any way, as if expecting anyone to be surprised. Amber thinks about going back to OMAD, as it 'genuinely' worked for her.

"Taste test" on camera for degen clicks. Amber shows off her MASSIVE trough of pasta that she's eating with a teeny-tiny measuring spoon because all of ther other spoons are dirty. Again, this is nothing more than fabricated controversy. And by that, I mean that Amber TELLING US about it is for controversy; I truly believe that Amber would struggle to eat her macaroni one noodle at a time with a 5mL measuring spoon because she's too lazy to take 5 seconds to wash a proper one.

Amber pretends that she cooks too much food at once because she's not used to living alone and not cooking for a gorlfriend... and not because she's over 500lbs and makes the choice every day to eat enough to maintain over 500lbs.

Amber pretends that she's so much better now, as before she would eat EVERYTHING she made at once. Oh, but NOW she saves the extra for another meal (10 minutes later). I'll say it again: You finally confessed to being over 500 lbs in summer of 2018. It is now late fall 2023, and you are still over 500 lbs. There has been no meaningful change to your intake.

OMG "food food food. Food food food food food-food. Food FOOOOOOOD!!!!!". [SKIP]

Amber says that now she can stop herself from eating too much. LOL. ONCE AGAIN: 2018 500+lbs; 2023 500+lbs. NO CHANGE.

On her 3rd BuzzBall, for rage-engagement. Amber teases the idea of livestreaming. Amber teases her audience that she has 'tea' about her dating life. She's been 'talking' to people, but she doesn't feel like she's ready to date unless she falls in love and feels like they're perfect. She doesn't want a relationship where the person lives with her. Amber wants to deal with her 'homely' responsiblilities by herself.

TRANSLATION: She keeps casting her line, but no one's biting.

Also, what do you want to bet that her bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom are absolutely TRASHED and disgusting right now and she's been ignoring those 'homely' responsibilities?

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Totally doesn't overeat anymore.

Actually, shekinda looks like the YT ShortCircuit guy...
shortcircuit.png


Amber says she has the bad habit of making her partners her entire life. Amber blames it on her BPD - calling it a 'mental illness' again. Blah blah blah BIG HEART blah blah.

Amber doesn't want to change who she is (duh). She's never been *that* girlie (never been a mean, shitty person who's done bad things).

UNO reversal! Now she's saying she HAS CHANGED SO MUCH and isn't the person she was, but her audience doesn't see that and won't let go of her past shittiness. Fake tears are fake.

*Tears* "I owe a big thanks to my ex". This is like a really bad Oscar acceptance speech. And Amber's using Jade for content YET AGAIN. Maybe gorlworld can hire Will Smith to slap Ambo and tell her to keep Wipey's name outta her mouth. Hell, maybe gorlworld can hire WIPEY to do that. Shit, I'd actually watch that on Ambo's channel. I'd even turn off the adblocker! (Actually, no I still wouldn't do either of those things - but it would be entertaining).

Amber thinks she's matured in certain aspects.

Amber claims to have been watching her old content from 2017 to 2019, and pretends that she was SO DIFFERENT back then. Amber thinks that people only watched her back then because she overshared and talked about things she would never talk about now. This is causing a big disconnect that she hates, and she's trying to find a balance between current Amberlynn and classic Amberlynn. Amber asks her audience for patience while she tries to figure it out.

TRANSLATION: Amber has tried every trick and manipulation in the book, but her views keep dropping. As Amber can't seem to trick a slow-in-the-head, desperate lesbian to be her slave and her channel content, she has no idea what to do and is shitting bricks about it. You NEED TO KEEP WATCHING HER because the YT ATM isn't spitting as much money at her as it used to.

Amber WOULD go back to filming every other day, but she feels so self-conscious about what she's saying and filming, and she doesn't like that feeling AT ALL. Great, so go get a job that actually gives a little back to society instead of hurpling around like a retard for adsense... or, you know, just grow a beard and join the circus.

Amber's super sad persona breaks when she realizes that she's fidgeting and takes the opportunity to blather about fidgeting being one of her super quirky traits.

[PLACARD: Thanks for watching]

No proper outro - FUCK YOU, AMBER!

TL;DR: CUNTENT. Food food FOOOOD!!! Not on track. Amber says and does a bunch of stupid shit to bait her audience into engagement (including mentioning Wipey and Chantal). Amber claims that Twinkie somehow got into some unknown substance, covering her face with green stuff while Amber was at Bingo, and Amber can't figure out what it was. Audience-shaming as Amber rambles about how much she's changed but her audience won't accept that she's changed. Amber blames the current state of her channel on the fact that she no longer overshares like she used to in 2017-2019 during her channel's peak. Amber asks for 'patience' during this time (TRANSLATION: Amber wants you to keep watching her boring shit because she's noticing her YT ATM isn't spitting as much money at her and all of her manipulative tricks aren't working).
 
When the Doordash delivery girl doesn't consider Ambers food dropoffs as dates.
When you smell old cheese but realize there is none in the house.
TFW your ankles need a bra and a girdle..
When your chins are bigger than your tits.
TFW Jade still wont unblock you..
When Mamalynn wont wipe your ass.
When your pants can double as a car cover.
When you can't snag a smaller hamplanet to be your live-in chauffer.
When you didn't hit BINGO today
When your chin balls are bigger than your Buzzball can.
When the reason Twonko's face is green cause she chewed on your underwear..
When you ate up all the dry salami in the greater OKC area.
When your stamina is not enough to get to the terlit in time..
TFW sharted and no slave to clean it up
When you figure out the reason you speak in the third person is because you are bigger than size of three people
When Mommy wont leave her man to be your full time handler..

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Her fake crying during this scene is just beyond ridiculous lmao this mammoth really believes she is living in some sort of romantic drama novel.. it reeks of preteen bullshit.
I like how she acts like she is gonna live past 40 lmao okay girl there is a reason you dont see elderly deathfats herpling about
Also, top fucking kek @ her putting unsalted "budder" on her elbow pasta then dumping garlic salt, grated cheese and her fucking beaner juice on it..

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Whelp the thing is Amber, you're not good at trolling and thinking admitting to trolling makes you somehow :"cool" is even more pathetic than I'd even dare dream.
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Girl you ARE stupid there is no choice in that, you just are.
 
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........ thinking admitting to trolling makes you somehow :"cool" is even more pathetic than I'd even dare dream......
Ok Xeno-

I'll see this and raise you a "Pretending what you've shown in old videos was "trolling" when it was actually a true portrayal; in an attempt to retcon your pathetic life into something sliiiiiiightly less pathetic."

I'm out😁
 
She looks absolutely miserable and I am loving it. However, I'm sure Twinkie is miserable too, being stuck inside with no walks other than a quick shuffle outside to pee. I like animals so Twonks being miserable is a mood dampener on the whole shebang. Hambie though? Did it all to herself, just a shame she has to drag the animals down with her. The cats I am sure can survive off her corpse for a year before the stench attracts attention.
 
I find it so strange that Amber is looking for a life partner in the most passive way possible; sitting at home and waiting for someone to email her. Anyone that I have ever known looking for someone, would go to places where singles are, whether are single events, singles meet-ups, online dating sites, and so on. On top of that, she went on YouTube and said that her failed past relationships were due to her "mental illness", aka her BPD. "Nothing says that I am a great catch than mentioning that you have mental issues".
 
I find it so strange that Amber is looking for a life partner in the most passive way possible; sitting at home and waiting for someone to email her.

Why? You think she met No Necky Becky and The Black Hand by going to the local singles mixer? Dude, she sat on her unwiped ass and waited for the tards to come to her. It's worked before, and the fat fool thinks it'll work again.
 
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