Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,621 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,520
A lot of her vlog clips remind me of when you are trying to reach the word count of a essay. She spoke for over a minute about how she couldn’t get zero Gatorade from the store and how she had to get the normal kind.
I have Ambers next big career move. She already talks slow. Record 10 minute of video. upload it at 1/2 speed to 20 minutes. People have to watch you on 2x, so you get 20minutes of watch time out of a 10 minute video. (The Spiffing Brit actually did this in one of his "exploit youtube" videos)
 
Amberlynn has been boring as fuck for the longest time but I am so fucking happy the hand era is over. The gaycare era was by far the most interesting since Amberlynn had quite the 'colourful' cast present but now it's a different story. Hamberlynn has quite the negative reputation and a long history established online of never changing, being a dirty fat fuck and nasty as a pig, and now she's approaching her mid-30's. She can't get away with 'quirkee' shit like she used to as the older people get, the less bullshit they'll put up with so maybe 2024 will feature quite a few changes? Our pig's at her lowest with mamalynn waltzing in and out and clearly not indulging hammie as much as she'd hoped sans the addiction bonding casino trips... wonder how long it'll be before the two get into a fight? Misery loves company after all!
 
Amberlynn has been boring as fuck for the longest time but I am so fucking happy the hand era is over. The gaycare era was by far the most interesting since Amberlynn had quite the 'colourful' cast present but now it's a different story. Hamberlynn has quite the negative reputation and a long history established online of never changing, being a dirty fat fuck and nasty as a pig, and now she's approaching her mid-30's. She can't get away with 'quirkee' shit like she used to as the older people get, the less bullshit they'll put up with so maybe 2024 will feature quite a few changes? Our pig's at her lowest with mamalynn waltzing in and out and clearly not indulging hammie as much as she'd hoped sans the addiction bonding casino trips... wonder how long it'll be before the two get into a fight? Misery loves company after all!
To be honest I think its optimistic to think there'll be another arc. I feel like if Hamburgerlynn doesn't get a new wipey soon and/or her Mom dips again we might be seeing stress-induced heart attacks or possibly even suicide (I'd be surprised if she got around to that before the weight takes her, but who knows). All I know is that getting old isn't in the cards for dear 500+ Hamlynn, and the declining views/money is probably stressful. If there is another arc, I'd expect her to try to be bitchy/feedy to try to remain relevant.
 
No chance in Hell of this.
Seconded, even if she wanted it's not like she could. No rope is strong enough to hang her without snapping, an overdose would require her to calculate an effective dose depending on her real weight, and if she decided to try the emo cutting route I dont think she'd be able to cut deep enough through all that fat to hit a decent size blood vessel
 
If Ambo wanted to die all she has to do is lie down ‘flat’ someplace. Gravity and suffocation in her own fat would see her off pretty quickly. Granted she’d have to deal with the cats and Twinkie trying to sit on her face as she struggles for breath but that may actually help her along a bit.

When your Cow gets so dull the best thread entertainment is discussing how to send them to Jesus. Carry on!
 
Seconded, even if she wanted it's not like she could. No rope is strong enough to hang her without snapping, an overdose would require her to calculate an effective dose depending on her real weight, and if she decided to try the emo cutting route I dont think she'd be able to cut deep enough through all that fat to hit a decent size blood vessel
No
Don't want to powerlevel on how I know this (but I'll say it's NOT from attempting to cancel my own Life Magazine subscription), but no. The rope doesn't need to be strong enough to hold her weight; just strong enough that her cervical spine - neck vertabrae - snaps first). Also, many have botched their hangings and slowly suffocated themselves/crushed their larynx instead of snapping their neck and severing their spinal cord. Pretty gruesome. Overdoses on over the counter pain relievers are not dependant on weight. ASA ("Asprin") rots out your stomach lining. Once that happens, your stomach acids can eat through your stomach and leak out into your torso, slowly liquifying your organs. (People also do this by drinking small amounts of bleach). Ibuprofin ("Advil") and Acetaminophin ("Tylenol") destroy your liver. Being Deathstar fat doesn't give you a thicker stomach lining or a more robust liver (it can actually give you the opposite), so there are no calculations based on mass. Little kids have been successful in their attempts. Amber is intelligent enough to succeed.

Don't let this bounce around in your mind too much (especially the kid part), or it will mess with you. Instead, look at these totally adorable (and completely off topic) pictures I found!!

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Despite this, the vibe I get from Amber is that although she's self-destructive, it's more in a gluttonous and attention-seeking manner. She seems far too full of herself and far too frightened of discomfort to really do anything but moo at people to make them feel bad.

I mean, she grew up in a dirty trailer, refusing to bathe, and wearing the same clothes everyday (though I question whether that was due to lack of clothes, or Amber being Amber and her parents being negligent on making sure that Amber was clean). Throughout her late teens and 20s we've seen evidence that this is how she chooses to live (one bra, one pair of legeens, no underwear, etc) if someone isn't there cleaning up after her and pestering her to bathe. I'm sure that she could adapt to those living conditions again, as long as the decline was gradual enough (which it seems to be). I mean, look at Polissa. She's getting on fine (relatively speaking). I could see Amber slowly turning into her.
 
Despite this, the vibe I get from Amber is that although she's self-destructive, it's more in a gluttonous and attention-seeking manner. She seems far too full of herself and far too frightened of discomfort to really do anything but moo at people to make them feel bad.
Actually, one of Amber's surprising qualities is self-preservation. This might have come from being neglected as a child. Amber also knows very well that she will never be able to find a job that pays as well as YouTube. This is why she does not interact with anyone in her community post and is very careful to stay within the limits of YT's TOS. This is also why all her interactions are on Instagram and TikTok.

I am not sure that her absolutely boring content is not produced this way. She knows that any controversy can lead to being cancelled like Jenna Marbles. So, having inoffensive content might be her aim. While she has lost views lately, she is still able to have a comfortable life by not having to work too hard. She may not want anyone to be in her vlogs to control the narrative and to avoid any controversies that could creep up.
 
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Look at this fucking sow.
Practicing her punchable faces, I see

You know...

Lulu Roman and Vestal Goodman were fantasic, highly talented entertainers. Both were kind souls and Lulu even got her shit together and lost weight even though it's clear that being 1969's version of "DAMN--IT'S COMMING RIGHT FOR US!" traumatized her.

Hambutt could NEVER.
 
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