Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Constellationzero]

A 32 year old woman thinks getting a nose piercing and using fake weed is edgy. Wake me up when her mom introduces her to meth.

Don't forget the White Claws and Buzzball alcopops all the tween girls like so they can get OMG--shooo DRUNK, YEW GUIZE!

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

In order to purchase a life insurance policy on someone, the OWNER of that policy must have an insurable interest in the insured person’s life. The insured party does not have to know the policy exists. Many times you’ll see on true crime shows spouses who bought policies on the other spouse without them knowing. Perfectly legal. The insured person also cannot cancel those policies. Only the policy owner can do that (however, if fraud is discovered, the insurer can and will rescind the policy). I could take out several policy on Trooper Dogshit without his knowledge. He’s my husbando, so if he dies, my finances are impacted. Same goes for him. If I crap out tomorrow, he’s going need to pay people to do the shit I do around here.

I cannot buy a policy on my best friend. I’d be bereft and borderline suicidal if she goes tits up tomorrow, but my finances won’t take a hit.

People who go into businesses together will often each take out a policy on the other guy. No insurance company will knowingly let some fuckin rando take out a policy on Hamber. In fact, NO life insurance company is going to issue more than a “guaranteed issue” policy on her. If she had a job and life insurance was a benefit she could get a small (probably 10k) policy. She might be able to get ridiculously expensive insurance you see advertised on TV.

You make a lot of sense, but everything I’m googling says you still need consent to do it.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

A lie so stupid that it caused a ripple through the timeline...

 

[Goatchoker]

So……. her new video shows her mom using her green eyeliner, think hamber got drunk and drew on Twinkie with eyeliner?

Her and her mom go shopping for sheets because we ALL HAVE 9 full sets of sheets for our bed? Right?

Bitch is complaining about her LAYYYGS. Because why do anything to minimize swelling when you can fatly sit with your bushy eyebrows and lopsided liner in a jacket too small?!

Her poor mom is legit her new gf and I don’t feel bad for any of them lmfao.

 

[Moody Fallon]

you can see her gasp for breath in the last clip of that new video after taking 2-3 steps...damn that's a big bitch

 

[Goatchoker]

you can see her gasp for breath in the last clip of that new video after taking 2-3 steps...damn that's a big bitch

She has to fully swing her legs out, around, and over each other. She’s got the fat splayed feet where they can’t face forward ever.
Her hips are so fucked.

BUT ITS OKAY SHES LEARNING TO LOVE HERSELF! She legit said “love myself” like 6 times in this video, bitch we know.

So corky.

 

[TardiX]

So……. her new video shows her mom using her green eyeliner, think hamber got drunk and drew on Twinkie with eyeliner?

I did think it was odd the coloring was all the way around Twinkies eyes like when you draw glasses on someone. Any dog getting into a bowl or container gets a ring around their face, not between the eyes

 

[Goatchoker]

I did think it was odd the coloring was all the way around Twinkies eyes like when you draw glasses on someone. Any dog getting into a bowl or container gets a ring around their face, not between the eyes

Im not gonna hate on drawing eyebrows on animals/tiny humans for the lols. I drew thick eyebrows on my newborn years ago with eyeliner because it was hilarious. But why lie? She’s a whole mess currently.


Also please. If you have a tiny baby around you and it’s okay with everyone, draw eyebrows on said tiny person and just laugh because it looks hilarious.*non greasy option is dark powder*

 

[lol cow supreme]

Her and her mom go shopping for sheets because we ALL HAVE 9 full sets of sheets for our bed? Right?

When you shit yourself, cant wipe, and your laygs leak all why you're constantly sweating without 4 fans on you in the airconditioning in winter... you need to change sheets alot.

 

[FarmVille]

she’s out lump legging Lump Legs

 

[Bitch I eat people]

Im not gonna hate on drawing eyebrows on animals/tiny humans for the lols. I drew thick eyebrows on my newborn years ago with eyeliner because it was hilarious. But why lie? She’s a whole mess currently.


Also please. If you have a tiny baby around you and it’s okay with everyone, draw on eyebrows on tiny person and just laugh because it looks hilarious.

I am absolutely going to do that when my sister's kid is born.
You'd think Hamberlyin would have posted Twonkers with eyeliner glasses though It would be "funny content"

 

[Goatchoker]

I am absolutely going to do that when my sister's kid is born.
You'd think Hamberlyin would have posted Twonkers with eyeliner glasses though It would be "funny content"

Unless she was drunk af and embarrassed by her screeching or hit the floor like cobes.
None of it makes sense. I want drunk messy Lynn dammit.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

You make a lot of sense, but everything I’m googling says you still need consent to do it.

I don’t give a fuck what Google says.

Source: trust me, bro.

 

[I call shenanigans]

Can her mother even get a life insurance policy on this whale?

No! At almost half Amber’s weight (at the time of trying), Alexandria Rodriguez couldn’t get a policy due to “build”. She even made a whole arse video ranting about being rejected for one. If Alex couldn’t get one then no way could anyone get a policy on Amber. While obese folk can still purchase life insurance policies (at higher rates than others), it gets harder once a person hits morbid obesity, and virtually impossible once a person gets to super morbid obesity.

 

[Major Pain]

A lie so stupid that it caused a ripple through the timeline...

View attachment 5560837

She's definitely looking closer to 2019 Amber than 2021\22 Amber.

 

[dfranki723]

She's still conflating water weight/normal fluctuation with actual body fat I see.

Your bullshit dISeeasE isn't making you fat and gross. You are just fat and gross.
This dumb twat is ridiculous. It's the same shit as ''I've gained from being in the car'' no you fucking haven't. You don't gain FAT from swelling yet she always tries to explain away real weight gain with ''swelling''.

Hopefully we'll see a nice plump 600+lbs Hamber soon.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Also please. If you have a tiny baby around you and it’s okay with everyone, draw eyebrows on said tiny person and just laugh because it looks hilarious.*non greasy option is dark powder*

It's absolutely hilarious! Proof: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/11IyYhi_QsI
(The Beeston Fam - the Mom occasionally fills in the eyebrows on her toddler to film Dad's reaction when he comes home from work and the little girl runs up to greet him). I can only imagine the hilarity of a family in a group photo acting like nothing is wrong, and the brand new baby in the pic has a unibrow that would put Bert from Sesame Street to shame.

She's definitely looking closer to 2019 Amber than 2021\22 Amber.

These were from Summer 2021, when Amber claimed she had gotten back up to 569lbs.
2019 Amber = 2021 Amber = 2023 Amber.

============

And... Amber's posted again. AND like the last two times, no one cared. I can get the recap, but if someone could please be a and get the last two archives? (Sorry - I'm still too 'tarded to getting it working on my setup ).

Plot Summary with Commentary! When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was tempting her mother with shitty Delta 8 vapes and blaming Twinkie's green face on an abandoned bowl of pesto (that somehow went unnoticed in her otherwise spotless apartment for DAYS). What's Amber up to this time?! NO ONE CARES - but let's do this anyway! Take us in!

Spoiler: my legs are getting bigger, I feel ugly because of my disease, & run errands with me | vlog

"Hey Guize! Welcome to a new vlog". Proper intro!!

Amber wants to thank her audience for caring more about Twinkie than she does.

FREEZE FRAME!!

I think the filter is glitching; as she moves, her face keeps changing shape like some claymation nightmare...

Amber talks about her new nose piercing and thanks her audience for caring more about it than she does.

Time to talk: Amber TOTALLY isn't triggering Kristine by waving her shitty drugs in her face! Kristine wasn't a smoker, so it's totes fine. Amber also justifies it by saying that they live in a state where "Medical is legalized" so she's "around it all the time". First, show your card or STFU about legal dope, because Kristine wouldn't be expecting to encounter it FROM YOU, or IN HER CAR. Second, you still don't understand the concept of 'addiction transference'. Third, you are also in a state where ALCOHOL is legal. "Legal" doesn't mean that you should be waving it around your addict mother...

...Or, you know, you could keep doing it. If Kristine values her sobriety, she'll abandon you AGAIN, leaving your Boss-Babe XXXXXXXXXXL-shelf COMPLETELY independent - as indepentent as you're currently PRETENDING to be. If she doesn't value her sobriety enough, she'll put up with it until falling into old habits and finally relapsing. And then not only will you be on your own, but you'll have a methed-out, geezer-beating, doggy-kicking addict going after you for drug money. So yeah, Amber, fuck around and find out.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Amber would NEVER do anything that would trigger her mom...

Amber needs to go out to do a few things (TRANSLATION: she's pestered Methmam to drive her around again today).

JUMPCUT!! Riding shotgun in methmam's car like a scrub, while Kristine's in the bank running her errands. Ahh, won't let Kristine run her own errands without pain in the ass Amber smothering her tagging along. Just like the Destiny days... and the Becky days... and the Jade days.

Amber expects shelf-pats for doing a bit of editing in the car. And by 'editing', she means that she plays through the video, and cuts out the sections where she's gasping for breath.

JUMPCUT!! At 'The Walmart' to get a few things.

JUMPCUT!! "WE" are back at the apartment to put away the groceries Amber bought. Kristine found a green eyeliner pen - which suspiciously looks to be the same colour of green that Twinkie had smeared all over her face. What a coincidence. ANYWAY, Amber AGAIN tries to humiliate Methmam in front of Amber's audience by telling us that Kristine thought the eyeliner said "Eric Wilson" when it actually said "Epic Wear".

JUMPCUT!! In the parking lot of the "Old Paris Fleamarket". Amber complains like an entitled bitch AGAIN about Kristine parking far away. Don't worry Amber, you can put that super-enhanced STAMINA you've been boasting about to good use!

Kristine is apparantly a hoarder, too - she hoards sheet sets. Kristine is trying to decide on what colour she wants (when she already has at least 5 of these sheet sets at home). Amber tells her to just buy all of them.

JUMPCUT!! Amber's the in the car, complaining that the sun is in her eyes because she forgot her sunglasses at home. Waiting in the car while Kristine pays her phone bill. Amber talks about editing AGAIN to stick it to the haydurz. Why yes, Amber, your vlogs DO look like they've been created from a dozen or so distracted, 2-minute editing sessions while sitting in a car.

JUMPCUT!! At "CATO", where Amber spends her time filming herself making duckfaces in the mirror and trying on sunglasses because she's a sunglass girly *touch touch touch*. Amber feels 'haunted' because she didn't buy anything.

FREEZE FRAME!!

Can you imagine walking into a store, and see an oblivious 600lb granny-toddler hybrid doing *THIS*?

JUMPCUT!! Filming the sky again.

JUMPCUT!! Back at home. Kristine drove Amber to go see Christmas lights. Ah, brings back memories of the Becky days... and the Jade days. Amber shows sped-up footage of the lights through the car window.

Twinkie!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber shows off her LEGO bag still thrown in the corner. It's totally there because she likes the colour and it's the first time she's ever been to a LEGO store... and totally NOT because she's a slob who won't clean up after herself. Amber wants to keep it but doesn't know what to do with it, as the concept of carefully folding it up and putting it way is foreign to her.

JUMPCUT!! Amber's in the exact same place, except she's now wearing a jacket (as she's pretending that she took Twinkie for a walk). Amber shows off her retarded shit-bun, which is as tall as Marge Simpson's hair.

Something is MASSIVELY ( ) on her mind. Amber felt bad at CATO because she looked at herself in the mirror and saw what a digusting fat ass blob she is. Oh wait, no. She saw her LEGS and got sad. She blames her growing legs on her lipedema and lymphedema and feels ashamed and unworthly of love, and thinks this is bad. Amber SHOULD FEEL ABSOLUTELY ASHAMED of her massive leaky legs because she has the time and resources to treat it. Instead, she does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to treat it and in fact USES it to make money as she shows it off on her channel like she's a circus side-show 'performer' (freak).

Amberlynn decides that she's more than her body, so no sense in doing anything to BETTER HERSELF. It's the entire world's job instead to just pretend that they don't see her legs (or smell them). Amber ponders about showing us the footage... because she USES it to make money as she shows it off on her channel like she's a circus side-show 'performer' (freak).

Amber complains about her past, and always being 'Fat Amber', and people making fun of her 'Shelf' ( ). Amber talks about being able to set a cup of coffee on her shelf-butt. To that I say, don't be so modest! You could balance your AIR-FRYER on that kaboose! Go get Drew and show us!

Amber cries about the irrepairable damage to her body - but skinny people get lipedema too! Fuck off Amber, your cuntiness and unwillingness to do ANYTHING that would prevent you from eating as much of whatever you want, whenever you want has killed ANY sympathy your audience had for you.

OMG blah blah blah muh disease, blah blah blah go back in time to talk to little (fat)Amber, blah blah blah. I can't. This is just another "I see what you see" bullshit segment [SKIP]

Amber states that she wants to start being more vulnerable with her audience.
(TRANSLATION: she's going to use pity and emotional manipulation to try to get views, because everything else she's tried so far hasn't worked).

After blabbing FOREVER about it, Amber finally shows off the footage.

FREEZE FRAME!!

OOPS, that's the wrong picture. Oh whatever - it's the same picture that she used as the thumbnail of the video. And she looks the same in THAT picture as she has in every other picture she's taken of herself in the last 4 or more years.

Amber says that people are going to see this clip, and instead of understanding the reason WHY she's showing it, they'll only see her body. You know, instead of the REAL reason of Amber showing it: as an excuse to show her body.

Amber would do *ANYTHING* for people to see her heart instead. Um... yeah: Krystle, Destiny, Becky, and Jade saw your heart instead - and that's exactly why they all went no contact with you.

No proper outro - FUCK YOU, AMBER!

TL;DR: Amber totally isn't triggering her mom; she'd never do ANYTHING to risk Kristine's sobriety. Amber follows Kristine on her errands, tries to humiliate Kristine for Amber's audience to see, gets some groceries (which we'll likely see in another vlog), and makes a spectacle of herself in the store. Amber complains about her gelatinous legs being the size of redwood stumps, but ultimately decides that it's too late to do anything about it (as no matter what, there'll always be deformity). Amber blames her disease of lipedema/lymphedema, shames her audience for making fun of her 'SHELF' ( ), and declares that she's more than her body. There was a lot more to this, but it was basically yet another iteration of the "I now see what you see" speech that she's done several times before.


EDITED TO ADD:

@pippeyyy
Hey, she's eaten off the carpet before. So fingers crossed she will think she will be a skinny, sexy queen with fake teeth by using it, just like Mama. (Well as she sees Mama)

I believe she said that she found it/ate it off of the sidewalk or driveway. Amber has NEVER done carpet munching in ANY context.

@Salvador Dali
Hamber’s gonna get hooked on those delta vapes and become even more fat, lazy and retarded.

Now here is something I wonder: can a delta vape be made strong enough to make Amber EVEN LAZIER than she already is?

 

[Slippery_Slope]

Amber hates her mom and you can't convince me otherwise.

 

[Empress of Lucite]

We need a new poll at the top of the thread. Maybe "how long before Mama Meth relapses"?

 

[Turd Fergusson]

It is clear from her last vlog that Amber has no intention of losing weight.

Sure a couple of pounds here and there, but she fears that her legs would be even more disproportional than presently. The fact that she has known for years that she had lymphedema and did absolutely nothing to help resolve her issue makes me think that she does not comprehend that it is her failure to maintain a healthy weight as its cause. Saying that it happens to skinny people a lot is also another indication that she does not accept any responsibility for it.