*** VLOG ALERT!! ***
my new meal plan | what I ate today at 500lbs
Running out of time as Seven has been assimilated by the new Borg hivemind of the Alpha Quadrant - PICKLE BALL - and has signed us up for a match that starts in a few minutes. So let's bang this bullshit out at warp speed:
Amber does a "what I eat in a day" where she pretends to like coffee - but only if it has an absurd amount of artificial sweetener in it (3 parts blonde roast coffee, 1 part Coffeemate, 1 tsp sugarfree syrup and 1 Tbsp Splenda for any of your aspiring deathfats looking to take dieting advice from Amber), as well as her usual meals which she pretends to think are "schtoo good" (yet never eats for more than a day or so).
Amber makes 3 large scrambled AAAYGS - which remarkably have the exact same cooked volume as her previous meals when she was insisting that she was only eating 2 medium eggs - along with a smoothie of chocolate peanutbutter protein shake with frozen strawberries and bananas (as one must smash in the calories in order to maintain 500 lbs). Amber goes on AGAIN about how she doesn't have an AAAYG allergy, but rather an egg INTOLERANCE, completely missing the point of viewers pointing out that she keeps eating something that she knows can make her sick, THEN COMPLAINING THAT IT MAKES HER SICK!
Amber then makes enough broccoli and rice to fill a bowl large enough to be worn by a Nausican as a helmet, and then adds salmon which has been dried out the in the air-fryer enough for astronauts to bring with them on space missions. Amber washes it down with a mini Sprite Zero. See? HULTHY!
10 minutes later - though we are to pretend that hours have passed - Amber decides to microwave some sort of "Amy's" TV dinner. Amber eases up on the trolling by actually saying "cashew" as "cashew" and not "cah-SHHHHHOOOOO" (bitch still reads here).
Amber doubles down on the sediment at the bottom of her Gatorade being white mold instead of sediment - but insists that the Gatorade scientists say that this is 'edible mold'. There's totally articles on it. They're posted on the same site with the articles about the beaver butt juice you guize! Amber acknowledges that her audience tells her to drink more liquids, but she's a dry gorl (plus her shits are already likely a nightmare due to all of the artificial sweetener).
Amber eats her TV dinner noodles with a giant-ass serving SPOON, since she has to troll her audience with SOMETHING and missed her opportunity with the cashews.
It's now 11pm and Amber hasn't lost control and eaten the whole house yet, so she's going to end the video (so she can finally eat the foods that she REALLY wants to eat). Amber's proud of the great decisions she made today (so hulthy!) and wants this to be her daily meal plan.
Amber bullshits that she's now 503.2lbs (no ceiling-shot weigh-in) and is confident that she'll soon be out of the 500s.
No funny images in this video, but Sabine Davis posted this in a video from a few days ago. It's from one of Ambo's TikToks, and I'm not sure if she's high as balls or the filters are freaking the fuck out, but she looks cross-eyed and it's worth a chuckle: