Amusing Engrish from Item Listings

[Aunt Carol]

Anti what?

This is probably just good marketing. If someone believes they have moths in their teeth, they're going to be willing to spend a decent amount of money to solve that problem. Not so much money they endanger their meth budget, though.

 

[The_Red_Man]

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Hollow can be snooped

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Hollow peeped Eyes satisfied

I legit had a spittake on this one what the fuck. I love how it comes with a lens cap to prevent whatever liquid from coming out. Tbh the only thing that comes to mind with this is to do a butt chug like Steve-O.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Tbh the only thing that comes to mind with this is to do a butt chug like Steve-O.

People are always coming up with new sex procedures, but there's also the ancient joke:

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A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses. The blonde says to the redhead, "Isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?"​

​

The redhead says it is.​

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The blonde responds by saying, "Oh, you are so lucky".​

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The redhead sighs and says, "No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air."​

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The blonde says, "Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in?"​

 

[Aunt Carol]

It's India, it's America, it's quick


Eyeshadow is so beautiful, how can I not fall in love with it?
But do you always feel like you're wearing fake eyeshadow
[...]
Make you easily master all kinds of eye makeup, a gospel for new hands

 

[Aunt Carol]

It's a relationship that relieves stress and negative emotions.
Bad emotions need to find the right way to make you feel good.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

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It's a relationship that relieves stress and negative emotions.
Bad emotions need to find the right way to make you feel good.

I think it's a device that muffles your voice so you can scream as loud as you want, but that illustration makes it look it's for puking up sea urchins.
Wait, what's wrong with just screaming into a pillow?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Wait, what's wrong with just screaming into a pillow?

You try to sleep on your angry scream pillow, you're going to get pinkeye! Or maybe that's fart pillows.


CATHARSIS POT

 

[Return of the Freaker]

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This one in particular sounds like something Uncle Roger would say
"You strong like Rambo, Look like heeero. But your brain just like potato, haiyaaaaah"

This one is really good & informative:

I Bought an Indian Cult Study Aid and Was Reincarnated as Android Raptor's Roach Lover

 

[Aunt Carol]

Not Engrish, but tell my work that all I'm going to do is sit on the counter and intermittently beep, until they order some

FEMALE TONER

They changed the name to "Healthy Cycle," around the time they renamed "Gypsy Cold Care."

 

[Roland TB-303]

You try to sleep on your angry scream pillow, you're going to get pinkeye! Or maybe that's fart pillows.
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CATHARSIS POT
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This is the best thing I’ve ever fucking seen.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Friction Fragrance Black Technology
Creating a Mind Machine Body Fragrance

Dilute! Dilute! OK!

 

[Aunt Carol]

THE PEACH BUTTOCKS
ARE WAITING FOR YOU

 

[Aunt Carol]

Beriberi (?)

This should be someone's fetish, or at least the title of an ASMR video:

Deep cleansing every inch of your toes

 

[Aunt Carol]

Sleepy chest gathered


Entertainment Leisure Time


Humanized tiger mouth opening design

 

[Aunt Carol]

Shake the bookshelf to relieve anxiety

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Shake the bookshelf to relieve anxiety
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Don't you have to put the books back on the shelf?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Don't you have to put the books back on the shelf?

Yes. It seems like the complete opposite of anxiety relief; I must not be the target audience.

I think this site is where they stole the images/idea originally.

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

 

[Aunt Carol]

Boiled beef with water--wasn't that a Kengle specialty?

 

[eggy_bunts]

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RIP fried croaker

I wonder how many shenanigans it took to get him to stop singing that "hello my baby" song in the kitchen.