Amusing Engrish from Item Listings

[Aunt Carol]

Enjoy a good life at any time
Sleep and rest, Motion, Shopping, Swim


I'm not sure how "motion" is different from "shopping," but all human activities can fit into one of these four categories.

 

[Dysnomia]

View attachment 6258389
Beriberi (?)

This should be someone's fetish, or at least the title of an ASMR video:
View attachment 6258387
Deep cleansing every inch of your toes
View attachment 6258393

Beriberi is a horrible disease caused by a vitamin B1 deficiency. You can become paralyzed, waste away and die. I have no idea what that has to do with cleaning your feet.

And you could probably make a mint on OnlyFans doing weird foot cleaning videos with this thing.

 

[Aunt Carol]

(Clearly I take a size L, because it's for

Women over the age of 30 who have been born or accustomed to using built-in hygiene products

 

[Aunt Carol]

Mint flavored beard soap
Foam abundance

 

[Plague Flea]

Three-speed intelligent temperature control.
Gravity-free induction automatically shuts off heat preservation after 12 hours of continuous use.

 

[Aunt Carol]

For without you, my life will be empty of all inspiration.

charming​

Love is a force field which attracts, Two solitary my very soul;
And binds them in a state of bliss,
Away from opposing poles.


(The item advertised is an analog watch that clips onto stethoscope tubing.)

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

View attachment 6516029
For without you, my life will be empty of all inspiration.

charming​

Love is a force field which attracts, Two solitary my very soul;
And binds them in a state of bliss,
Away from opposing poles.


(The item advertised is an analog watch that clips onto stethoscope tubing.)

Are they trying to imply this is a romantic gift for your doctor boyfriend? Or did they just copy random text that looked good?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Are they trying to imply this is a romantic gift for your doctor boyfriend? Or did they just copy random text that looked good?

This was the only image that had poetry on it; the rest was just models-n-stethoscopes. You'd think it would be easy to copy some random poetry that at least had the word "time" in it.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Soft lighting
Light up the night


(Nothing inaccurate with that statement, but it's not the feature I'd highlight.)

 

[Aunt Carol]

Arbitrary tailoring


Far-infrared palace protection

• Warm the palace
• improve
• Skin beautification

Far-infrared negative oxygen ion printing dot, resonate with the blood of the body's muscles, promote blood microcirculation, protect warm nests, regulate menstruation and nourish blood, and beautify the skin


Meet your daily use and replacement needs

(caught me--that's not all that funny, but the picture made me giggle)

 

[Aunt Carol]

Chemistry Infinity
Galaxy Cologne Pour Homme


Fit for outward rebellion
A boy with a gentle heart


One spray all day last
Ladies Glancing Back Favour

 

[Plague Flea]

Far-infrared palace protection

• Warm the palace

I’m sure glad you ladies finally have a means to keep your palace warm.
Do you think it could also provide a protective shield against womb-barrening curses?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Do you think it could also provide a protective shield against womb-barrening curses?

It's got a lot of magnets sewn into it; I'm pretty sure magnets are magic, right?

 

[TismFarmer]

This reminds me of when I discovered that Paw Patrol Pups were Jewish...

The more you play with me the happier I will be

 

[Aunt Carol]

BEE CARE SERUM
Contains bee ,

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

BEE CARE SERUM
Contains bee ,
View attachment 6573667

They've been hogging all the good stuff for themselves!

 

[Aunt Carol]

View attachment 6573683
They've been hogging all the good stuff for themselves!

A clear case of emBEEzlement!

 

[Aiōn]

Some bread from Finland

 

[internet friend]

Some bread from Finland
View attachment 6642718

DAMN THAT PUSSI NICE!

 

[lIllllIiiiiLLLLiiiiIIIIll]

Just found this thread. Will be back with more. Have a collection of this stuff I just need to track down again.