Ask a professional

[Simple Moving Average]

I'm going to regret this.

I manage client funds and provide financial advice professionally. If you were to find out my name, you would find I am a registered CFA charterholder and a licensed financial professional in my country of origin. I have not touched a drop of alcohol or any substance since January 1st. This Friday, either after business hours or after market close, I will be getting shitfaced. If I should describe the situation since the past 10 days in one word, that word would be FUCK, in all-caps.

If you've ever wanted to ask someone who manages money professionally about things like market conditions, expectations about the future, what to look for or what to do, this is your chance. I will be taking questions and answering them this Friday.

Before making any further statements, allow me to say that the maximum value that may be derived from the ramblings that are to follow, which may be made by a schizophrenic with an internet connection, is exactly equal to the amount you paid for them, that is to say zero; the most probable financial value of any statements made is likely to be negative. None of the statements to be made constitute financial advice or invitations to make any kind of investment in any way, shape or form. All losses suffered, financial or otherwise, are solely your own responsibility.

If you are a moderator or administrator of this forum and feel this thread should not exist or should cease to exist, please feel free to delete it and/or terminate this account.

Having provided the necessary disclaimers, I will now take your questions.

 

[themasterlurker]

how much does it cost?

 

[Arm Pit Cream]

If you are a moderator or administrator of this forum and feel this thread should not exist or should cease to exist, please feel free to delete it and/or terminate this account.

Such innocence, how did you last a year here?

 

[Kosher Dill]

I'm a content creator creating live and on-demand video content for the internet, which my viewers pay for out of their own free will by using Paypal, which is an online currency system that allows for the transfer of money when you click on a link on a webpage that I call my tips page. When people like my content and want to see more of it, they make charitable donations to me on the tips page, just like when you tip your waiter at Taco Bell.
That being said, can I claim the money I spent courting and wedding my wife as business expenses, since part of my image as a content creator depends on me having a hot wife who could be a swimsuit model? She says things to me no one has ever said before.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

How jewish are you?

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I was told to invest in black peoples future, so I've bought stocks in Yum! brands, malt liquor manufacturers and I'm not sure how else to get ready for reparations spending. Do they still like Nike and Fubu? What diaper manufacturer to you think will be on top when dem Bidenbuxx hit? I'm thinking Kimberly Clark.

 

[melty]

How bad is the inflation gonna be and what do I do about it?
Edit: also why ten days?

 

[Just A Butt]

anyone who takes financial advice from an autist on the internet deserves everything that's coming to them.

 

[Stoneheart]

If you were to find out my name, you would find I am a registered CFA charterholder and a licensed financial professional in my country of origin.

well we all know your kind of guys...

 

[ad2of2]

prepare to loss all your money

 

[Liber Pater]

How much do you make per year?

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

If you are so great with money why do you still need a job and are not investing and getting mad stonks yourself?

 

[Zarael]

Do you write for Zerohedge by any chance?

 

[Simple Moving Average]

OP got suicided by the Bogandoffs.

This Friday, either after business hours or after market close

Reading is hard.

Keep the questions coming. I'll answer each and every one of them tomorrow after market close.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE]

I'm going to regret this.

I manage client funds and provide financial advice professionally. If you were to find out my name, you would find I am a registered CFA charterholder and a licensed financial professional in my country of origin. I have not touched a drop of alcohol or any substance since January 1st. This Friday, either after business hours or after market close, I will be getting shitfaced. If I should describe the situation since the past 10 days in one word, that word would be FUCK, in all-caps.

If you've ever wanted to ask someone who manages money professionally about things like market conditions, expectations about the future, what to look for or what to do, this is your chance. I will be taking questions and answering them this Friday.

Before making any further statements, allow me to say that the maximum value that may be derived from the ramblings that are to follow, which may be made by a schizophrenic with an internet connection, is exactly equal to the amount you paid for them, that is to say zero; the most probable financial value of any statements made is likely to be negative. None of the statements to be made constitute financial advice or invitations to make any kind of investment in any way, shape or form. All losses suffered, financial or otherwise, are solely your own responsibility.

If you are a moderator or administrator of this forum and feel this thread should not exist or should cease to exist, please feel free to delete it and/or terminate this account.

Having provided the necessary disclaimers, I will now take your questions.

Damn.
How much tech exposure did you get lol.

I am actually up 5% within last 5 days.

 

[cantankerous jackalope]

Reading is hard.

Keep the questions coming. I'll answer each and every one of them tomorrow after market close.

UUP and TLT calls for Q4 yay or nay

 

[Simple Moving Average]

how much does it cost?

This is the only question so far that I require clarification on. What exactly do you want to know the cost of?

 

[world of shit]

From your previous posts, you do seem like you know what you're talking about regarding investing and finance.

My questions would be:
1) why are you getting shitfaced and what was the exact thing that caused "FUCK"? Without getting too much in the weeds, I assume its to do with the 10 year yield and operation twist 2.0 coming up? 1.51 yield caused some panic. rising 10 year yield + strong dollar = an implosion in the debt market = market goes tits up. Cash goes into other assets.

2) If I'm correct about #1, I would be interested in your plays? I'm going crypto + PMs + oil/energy.

TBH, there's so many bubbles right now, a massive stock and massive real estate bubble, hyper-mega debt bubble...so many assets are so massively inflated that its hard to find any price discovery in them. When I hear some hedge fund friends panic, I have to wonder which potential shithouse is going up.

 

[Erika Furudo]

anyone who takes financial advice from an autist on the internet deserves everything that's coming to them.

To be fair internet autists told me to buy bitcoin in 2013. I told them it was monopoly money with no real use since it can't be traded for anything outside of shady sites on the internet. I didn't expect the normies to think bitcoin was a get rich quick scheme. especially when they don't even realise it is NOT anonymous. Do most bitcoin investors even know what they are investing in? Fuck it, not just bitcoin, all crypto.

 

[Simple Moving Average]

More important things came up yesterday that required my attention for which I apologize. I'll start answering some questions now and will try to answer all of them over the weekend intermittently. I'm probably going to be quadruple posting so if a moderator wants to merge my posts, feel free.

I'm a content creator creating live and on-demand video content for the internet, which my viewers pay for out of their own free will by using Paypal, which is an online currency system that allows for the transfer of money when you click on a link on a webpage that I call my tips page. When people like my content and want to see more of it, they make charitable donations to me on the tips page, just like when you tip your waiter at Taco Bell.
That being said, can I claim the money I spent courting and wedding my wife as business expenses, since part of my image as a content creator depends on me having a hot wife who could be a swimsuit model? She says things to me no one has ever said before.

Good question.

If you have a content creation company that pays taxes and are able to prove that your courtship is material to your image and thus income, then you can probably claim those costs as expenses, provided they are reasonable. Consult your accountant.

If you're located somewhere that allows you ownership of your wife, she should be listed as a depreciating asset on your balance sheet. If she's a productive asset, maintenance, upkeep and upgrades can be added to asset value at cost and may be depreciated on an accelerated schedule as compared to that of the main asset. This will probably be more interesting as it reduces your tax burden and may even create losses you can carry forward.

How jewish are you?

Professionally? Extremely. Privately? My views are probably more aligned with your own than you would expect. Why do you think I'm posting here and not in the comment section of Haaretz?

I was told to invest in black peoples future, so I've bought stocks in Yum! brands, malt liquor manufacturers and I'm not sure how else to get ready for reparations spending. Do they still like Nike and Fubu? What diaper manufacturer to you think will be on top when dem Bidenbuxx hit? I'm thinking Kimberly Clark.

I am unfamiliar with these companies but posit that payment of reparations would probably only result in a single quarter of increased sales (or more likely a single day) and offer no long-term benefits to any of these companies, assuming they would benefit at all.