Assassin's Creed thread

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
30+GameOvers said:
Wait, she doesn't even get any male romantic interest? Not even Yasuke's BBC?
Whoa buddy, you think Japanese are pissed now, wait until they get a load of this. It's one thing to mess with their history and culture, but to mess with their cummies?
Click to expand...
Naoe had two female love interests and one male option.

The "male" option is an extremely effeminate guy with a ponytail whos most notable trait is that he's an illiterate retard.

His personal quest is about him wanting to read a book but he can't because he's illiterate so Naoe has to get Yasuke to read it to him.
 
  • Lunacy
  • Horrifying
  • Informative
Reactions: LucasSomething, Ughubughughughughughghlug, Mimitchi and 17 others
Why the FUCK do games with hour long cutscenes paired with hour long tutorials even receive a score higher than 5/10?

Asscreed is notorious for this.
I know I know, NiggerCattle game.

But.

Have those game directors AND journalists never even played the original Super Mario?

It showed that:

1. A game can tell its story through its gameplay (Shocker, I know)
2. The levels are designed to TEACH the gamer about the mechanics. Show, not tell.
3. No one cares about Super Mario’s origin story. Because it‘s a GAME. Not a MOVIE.
So the game is focused on the mechanics rather than long cutscenes. To y‘know, make it FUN.

Why do these retards look the other way when the flow of the game is disturbed for 25% of the total playtime because the director did a bad job following the 3 steps above?

Are they all getting paid or are they appreciating someone holding their hand for the first 5 hours of a game?

Are they so inept at life?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Rezza, UCT, Big Brown Schlub and 1 other person
RandomGibberish said:
Why the FUCK do games with hour long cutscenes paired with hour long tutorials even receive a score higher than 5/10?

Asscreed is notorious for this.
I know I know, NiggerCattle game.

But.

Have those game directors AND journalists never even played the original Super Mario?

It showed that:

1. A game can tell its story through its gameplay (Shocker, I know)
2. The levels are designed to TEACH the gamer about the mechanics. Show, not tell.
3. No one cares about Super Mario’s origin story. Because it‘s a GAME. Not a MOVIE.
So the game is focused on the mechanics rather than long cutscenes. To y‘know, make it FUN.

Why do these retards look the other way when the flow of the game is disturbed for 25% of the total playtime because the director did a bad job following the 3 steps above?

Are they all getting paid or are they appreciating someone holding their hand for the first 5 hours of a game?

Are they so inept at life?
Click to expand...
I would say the tutorial level from Mega Man X 1 is an even better example of your point. It's more "cinematic" than Mario 1 but still manages to have a straightforward, no-nonsense, tough but fair sink-or-swim approach.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Hoplixe, Mexican_Wizard_711, Mr. 0 and 2 others
GloryToArztotska said:
I would say the tutorial level from Mega Man X 1 is an even better example of your point. It's more "cinematic" than Mario 1 but still manages to have a straightforward, no-nonsense, tough but fair sink-or-swim approach.
Click to expand...
Imagine buying a new movie.

And they have put DVD menus in it after every few minutes like „choose your own adventure“.

Or even quick time events to press on your remote to make the movie go on.

Annoying, right?

You would argue that this shit has no right to be in a movie because it‘s not. a. game.

So why is movie shit in games again?
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Big Brown Schlub and Glory To Arztotska
Jace on ice said:
Naoe had two female love interests and one male option.

The "male" option is an extremely effeminate guy with a ponytail whos most notable trait is that he's an illiterate retard.

His personal quest is about him wanting to read a book but he can't because he's illiterate so Naoe has to get Yasuke to read it to him.
Click to expand...
Man, they really brought their racism A-game to this one. Ubisoft hates Japanese more than I hate niggers and kikes, combined!
 
  • Like
Reactions: GetToTheChoppa, Billy Bong and Big Brown Schlub
RandomGibberish said:
Why the FUCK do games with hour long cutscenes paired with hour long tutorials even receive a score higher than 5/10?

Asscreed is notorious for this.
I know I know, NiggerCattle game.

But.

Have those game directors AND journalists never even played the original Super Mario?

It showed that:

1. A game can tell its story through its gameplay (Shocker, I know)
2. The levels are designed to TEACH the gamer about the mechanics. Show, not tell.
3. No one cares about Super Mario’s origin story. Because it‘s a GAME. Not a MOVIE.
So the game is focused on the mechanics rather than long cutscenes. To y‘know, make it FUN.

Why do these retards look the other way when the flow of the game is disturbed for 25% of the total playtime because the director did a bad job following the 3 steps above?

Are they all getting paid or are they appreciating someone holding their hand for the first 5 hours of a game?

Are they so inept at life?
Click to expand...
Dude relax, Assassins Creed cutscenes range from like 1-3 minutes long. It's not MGS 4 lmao

But to answer the question of WHHHHYYYYYY games are more like movies these days, it's because more traditional storytelling via pre-scripted scenes are what the average consumer is used to, and because it's not 1986 anymore and gamedevs want to use the medium of video games to tell a story in an interactive medium more complex than "Italian man fights a dinosaur to save a princess" and use mechanics more complex than press a to jump and press b to shoot fireball.

That's not to say those games don't exist anymore, shit like Cuphead and Limbo are still doing fine, but the video game market appeals to thousands of different tastes now, including more narrative heavy stuff. You don't need to choose between having fun gameplay and telling a compelling story anymore.

It's like talking about books and getting pissed that LOTR is more wordy than The Lorax. It depends entirely on what audience you're appealing to. Not everyone wants to just bing bing wahoo.



On the specific subject of games journalists though, they're subhuman and their ratings of video games of any kind are automatically shit and should be dismissed.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Agree
Reactions: Mike Hunt, GetToTheChoppa, ZMOT and 3 others
Saw this image on 4chan, dunno how true it is though. Supposedly this is all the money ubisoft paid to get streamers to shill the game.

CnP_03042025_215547.png
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Horrifying
Reactions: LucasSomething, UnregisteredHypercam2, Mike Hunt and 11 others
gaysexenjoyer said:
But to answer the question of WHHHHYYYYYY games are more like movies these days, it's because more traditional storytelling via pre-scripted scenes are what the average consumer is used to, and because it's not 1986 anymore and gamedevs want to use the medium of video games to tell a story in an interactive medium more complex than "Italian man fights a dinosaur to save a princess" and use mechanics more complex than press a to jump and press b to shoot fireball.
Click to expand...
Pre-Scripted scenes are the antheses of an interactive medium, though. It's extremely lazy as a video game should be letting the player make choices and reacting to them - not railroading players and having them watch movies.

If your players aren't making decisions, facing challenges, and are frequently forced into movies - you're just watching a (bad) movie instead of playing a video game. This is a core Assassin's Creed problem as the RPG elements basically destroy any previous skill ceiling or skill floor by replacing them with RPG elements for no real reason - other then to seemingly artificially pad out the game's content.

You can get more complex then "Italian Man fights a dinosaur" without ruining the player's ability to be in control - something that a lot of games manage without constant forced "walk and talk" segments/cutscenes.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Hoplixe, Big Brown Schlub and RandomGibberish
Tanner Glass said:
Pre-Scripted scenes are the antheses of an interactive medium, though. It's extremely lazy as a video game should be letting the player make choices and reacting to them - not railroading players and having them watch movies.

If your players aren't making decisions, facing challenges, and are frequently forced into movies - you're just watching a (bad) movie instead of playing a video game. This is a core Assassin's Creed problem as the RPG elements basically destroy any previous skill ceiling or skill floor by replacing them with RPG elements for no real reason - other then to seemingly artificially pad out the game's content.

You can get more complex then "Italian Man fights a dinosaur" without ruining the player's ability to be in control - something that a lot of games manage without constant forced "walk and talk" segments/cutscenes.
Click to expand...
Exactly.
Funny that a lot of people praised INSIDE‘s „Story“ even though there is no word said and no big cutscenes to speak of.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/304430/INSIDE/

I wonder if the game would have ranked as high if it would have been a walking simulator with 10 hour long cutscenes to explain the origin story of the little boy.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Rezza and Big Brown Schlub
Snekposter said:
Yup. When CA added Obama to Fall of the Samurai they had to point out the place had zero relation to President Obama.
Click to expand...
I remember the Gekokujo mod for Mount&Blade has a white dood called George as a possible companion and he's heavily implied to be a time-travelling George Dubya. He has a special interaction when you get near Obama castle where he snickers at the name.
 
  • Informative
  • Autistic
  • Like
Reactions: Rezza, Xenomorphs Are Cute, Bawbag and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back