Assassin's Creed thread

[Übertroon]

abominable guns made by developers that clearly never saw a real WW2 firearm before

Still makes me laugh

 

[Snekposter]

Ubi-niggers be desperate.

 

[Colress]

Well, sorry to necro, but I've gotten a copy of Gay Nigger Samurai. It was a gift. This seems like the relevant place to post about my experience about it.

This post will contain spoilers and be very disjointed due to being a collection of thoughts written by way of DM.

Today, I played from the game's beginning to the end of the third Assassination.

Spoiler: Nobunigga Yasuke

The game starts with a disclaimer that the story is based on "historical figures, events, and places" with "liberties taken" for "the sake of an interactive game". That's fine. Not bothered by that admission. It comes after a really neat Assassin's Creed animatic intro that is a vain taunt to the player- look what we took from you, it cries.

There is also a relevant "Helix" related ad thing that does the fake out that recent games did, with not-so-subtle forshadowing, before it kicks you back to a menu that is apparently going to be the hub for future games.

I don't know who "the Guide" is. Bishop is gone. Maybe Juno is the one walking us through Animus Slop.

the out of order dates are BOTHERING ME.​

There is a canon mode that removes the dialogue choices. I have decided to take that because I dislike the fucking dialogue choice bullshit in recent AC games.

Game begins with you as "Diogo" (later, Yasuke.). He was apparently found washed ashore by a couple of Portuguese Clergy (?) members, and he has since been acting as their swordbearer.

"huh wuh"​

He manages to mary sue his way through an interaction with Lord Nobunaga (looks around room. Nobunaga says "your black man has the eyes of a warrior.") , surprising him with knowledge of the Japanese language. Nobunaga tells the Portuguese guys that Diogo wandered in with that the priests can wander Japan but he wants their pet black in return. Guys say yes.

Cut to six months later, you get to brute force your way through the whole map, fucking up the Iga settlement royally. This is the last you see of Yasuke for the time being.

He plays very... slippy-slidy I'd describe him as. They got rid of the weird trap beat shit from his segment, but it is still present ingame. His attacks do insane damage, one of his abilities is bumrushing doors and obliterating them. Absolute tank behavior.

He has no hint of a personality so far.

Spoiler: Naoe, and the initial experience of her.

We are then introduced, by way of a flashback to earlier in the night of Nobunigga's rampage, to Naoe- a young Iga woman who is close with her father. We get hints of her personality through her intro and the whole thing where we are told to protect the Macguffin Thingy by Naoe's dad.

We go and get it. Naoe is beaned instantly by some motherfucker who shows up and pinches the Macguffin Box.

She and her dad get rescued and cleaned up only to hunt down the box, and her dad gets murdered by our nine bad guys of the game. Oops. They're all wearing masks and looking fairly artsy fartsy Japanese-like.

This is a good point to mention that a lot of the accents in the English language voiced dialogue do not sound Japanese at all- they sound Japanese as if taught English by a Russian, if that makes sense? It's extremely odd.

Hope you like graphics. We have graphics here.​

The woman who healed us up, whose name has escaped me, offers her property as a hideout, since she owes Naoe's dad her life. We do the standard base-building shit. I don't remember what Mirage's was like, but it wasn't this.

Naoe proceeds to basically go on her big macguffin hunt, but it's unfortunately rather dull so far- I know I did it to myself when picking canon mode and I only have myself to blame, but there was a mandatory questline for the gunlady from the Evil 9 Bastards Of No Good Shame where we spend about 11 minutes going through a series of cutscenes regarding a damned tea ceremony. I bitch, but it was genuinely interesting to learn about. Being a Gaijin, however, I have no idea how accurate it was.

Drawing you would be a hate crime in some countries. ​

Befriending very non-pacifistic Monks is very fun. Naoe seems to have a genuine personality somewhere in there. She has her streaks of mischief and I can genuinely see that she may have, in another better game, been a decent protagonist. Fighting isn't as satisfying as previous titles, but AC hasn't been satisfying to fight in for a while.

At the very least, things are pretty enough, right?

ugh my tumby​

Regarding a few concerns in the thread, along with some observations:

• No, big bitch is not nonbinary. That's a chick. She's still big as hell though.
• Trap music is still here. It played during a Naoe segment. God knows what happens to trigger it.
• First thing I saw in the overhead menu when kicked to it was advertisements for microtransactions. There's been a Dead by Daylight collab. Some of the designs are nice. They give you Helix credits as you go.
• Shit has again gone back to the RPG style. I hate these types of AC games, but for the sake of review, I keep going.
• They didn't fix the arrangements in the Nobu cutscene.
• Playing on PS5 means controller gimmicks. It uses dynamic triggers and the controller light changes to red when you enter combat. Cool!
• Unfortunately the controls are FUCKED. Again, I do not recall if Mirage did this, but coming off of a marathon of AC games (1, 2, Brotherhood, Revelations, 3, 4, Rogue, and then Unity) to having your active combat shit be L1-Parry, R1- Light attack, and R2-Heavy feels WEIRD.

I will update with any weirdness ingame. Let me know if there's anything I can check out for you guys while playing.

 

[The Last Stand]

There is a canon mode that removes the dialogue choices. I have decided to take that because I dislike the fucking dialogue choice bullshit in recent AC games.

What's the point of dialogue options if one decision is "right" anyway?

 

[Colress]

IT'S OVER IT'S FINALLY OVER

I finished AC Shadows' main story AND the story for the DLC Claws of Awaji, and it took a fucking grand total of

FIFTY EIGHT FUCKING HOURS

Goddamn it I hate modern gaming. The plot is not important and the pacing sucks dogshit. Yasuke was weirdly kind of charming and engaging ("sorry for the nigger mc but at least he's got a sense of humor!") but Naoe has the personality of a laminated wood floor.

If your game starts becoming a chore like 20 hours in and your main story hasn't finished yet, you fucked up. Most of the game was spent on horseback. Urgh.

Spoiler: DLC Spoiler

Naoe's mom is alive. Cool. The three treasures are implied to be eden artifacts but nothing is done with it and the emperor has em now

It is a very pretty game to look at but the engine trying to correct a fuckup gets nauseating.

Spoiler: Some shit from my experience

All in all, 4/10.

 

[Fount of BadSpeak]

IT'S OVER IT'S FINALLY OVER

I finished AC Shadows' main story AND the story for the DLC Claws of Awaji, and it took a fucking grand total of

FIFTY EIGHT FUCKING HOURS

Goddamn it I hate modern gaming. The plot is not important and the pacing sucks dogshit. Yasuke was weirdly kind of charming and engaging ("sorry for the nigger mc but at least he's got a sense of humor!") but Naoe has the personality of a laminated wood floor.

If your game starts becoming a chore like 20 hours in and your main story hasn't finished yet, you fucked up. Most of the game was spent on horseback. Urgh.

Spoiler: DLC Spoiler

Naoe's mom is alive. Cool. The three treasures are implied to be eden artifacts but nothing is done with it and the emperor has em now

It is a very pretty game to look at but the engine trying to correct a fuckup gets nauseating.

View attachment 8578775

Spoiler: Some shit from my experience

View attachment 8578773
View attachment 8578774
View attachment 8578777

All in all, 4/10.
View attachment 8578780

Lol, the coon tunes during gameplay is so fucking retarded. I do not think there was a single person on Earth who wanted an Assassin's Creed set in Japan that was about a nigger and a dyke listening to rap. I have no idea what possessed you to finish that game, but I appreciate the field report nonetheless.

Also what the hell are those facial animations? They look like Mass Effect 1 with a texture pack mod.

 

[Colress]

I have no idea what possessed you to finish that game, but I appreciate the field report nonetheless.

My friend paying $33 for us to laugh at it is what. I wasn't going to give up until I gave him a report on it.

Also what the hell are those facial animations? They look like Mass Effect 1 with a texture pack mod.

I had canon mode turned on so apparently that's where dialogue options would go.

 

[Toxic BRAAAAP Mask]

The Wikipedia page for Yasuke is literally in the middle of an edit war. Theozilla, the retard trying to claim Yasuke was a samurai, is getting called out in his profile talk page.
View attachment 5991918

Since he was literally the only nigger in the entirety of Japan at the time Ubisoft is making a game where .0000000000000000000000000000000001% of the population commits 100% of the murders.

Lmao.

Late and gay, but here's a lazy phonebook on this autistic asswipe since I happen to frequent a server he does and he pisses me off regularly. And yes, everyone there hates him too.

---

Theozilla / Theo Vorster / Theo A Vorster / Theodore A Vorster


Meet Theo. Theo's a 33 year old cis, bi, atheist, anti-AI, animation-loving, libtard neckbeard best known for his autistic tendencies which led him to obsessively editing the wiki of historical figure Yasuke to own the chuds when they called into question his unverifiable samurai status in AC: Shadows. Did I mention he was cis and bi? He really needs you to know that.

One of many editors, what made Theo special is his visibility that was boosted by fellow lolcow Grummz and others. His autistic editing argument exploits are pretty humorous and showcase how bad he is at it but is too much to document here, so I encourage you to check the Wiki page history linked above. TLDR: Ultimately he gets outclassed by higher-ranking spergs and gives up, but in the end the propagandists won and locked changes for a period despite the contoversy and exposure that Thomas Lockley, the expert Ubisoft touted as a source, pulled it out of his ass to sell his books.



Thanks to Theo's incredibly poor opsec and posting his town (west coast libshit central) and education to every account, it's very easy to find him online. He's a graduate of Berkeley City College and majored in animation, a career he's never made it in (presumably to lack of talent and autism) and currently works in the Oakland Unified School District as an Instructional Support Specialist. Those in the know will recognize this title as actually meaning glorified tardwrangler for the school system. Talk about the blind leading the blind.


As someone who has unfortunately been in this neckbeard's orbit, I've been exposed firsthand to his autism. He often inserts himself into conversations to correct others (while often being wrong himself) and can not be seen as incorrect himself or have his liberal worldview threatened, often bringing screenshot evidence of definitions that people already know or completely ignoring other points made at hand to prove his point. Here's a fine public example of this:

Normally his accounts stay fairly clean and he's boringly yapping about Japanese animation or trying to further historical revisionism and progessive agenda bulletpoints...




But occasionally he'll post something that makes you wonder what degeneracy he's hiding. Toxic yuri? Do I smell a potential troonout?



I'd post some more, but I can't lose anymore braincells digging through this loser's posts. I'll leave you with this repost of his, and I think the irony fits perfectly:

Spoiler: Accnt Screenshots

Twitter
Youtube (A)
LinkedIn
Tumblr
The Lifsetream Forum (A)
FFXIV Forum (needs SE account to view)
FPS

Spoiler: FPS screens

3901 Balfour Ave
Oakland CA 94610​

 

[30+GameOvers]

Thanks to Theo's incredibly poor opsec and posting his town (west coast libshit central) and education to every account, it's very easy to find him online. He's a graduate of Berkeley City College and majored in animation, a career he's never made it in (presumably to lack of talent and autism) and currently works in the Oakland Unified School District as an Instructional Support Specialist. Those in the know will recognize this title as actually meaning glorified tardwrangler for the school system. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

So the retard found out he was too stupid and autistic to make beanmouth slop cartoons to groom kids with, ended up being a glorified retard handler himself despite also being a retard, and he spends all waking hours no-childing people about the fanfic negro in a game nobody even remembers anymore. Also, he is nearly 35 years old and extremely fat.
Yup, that's your average modern AssCreed fan right there, lmfao. Also, another proud member of the California libshit cult, and from Berkeley at that.

 

[The Last Stand]

So the retard found out he was too stupid and autistic to make beanmouth slop cartoons to groom kids with, ended up being a glorified retard handler himself despite also being a retard, and he spends all waking hours no-childing people about the fanfic negro in a game nobody even remembers anymore. Also, he is nearly 35 years old and extremely fat.
Yup, that's your average modern AssCreed fan right there, lmfao. Also, another proud member of the California libshit cult, and from Berkeley at that.

He needs to shave, lose weight and get some sun.

 

[Toxic BRAAAAP Mask]

He needs to shave, lose weight and get some sun.

If only that was all he needs. I'm afraid it's terminal.

Yup, that's your average modern AssCreed fan right there, lmfao.

I don't even think he's a big AC fan, I've seen almost nothing else from him about it outside of 'own the chud' posts/retweets. And last I saw his only edits on wiki were about Yasuke and some dumb manga. He's pretty much just a liberal NPC mouthpiece that parrots the ideology list. Now Final Fantasy on the other hand, he posts about that to an autistic degree and will correct anyone who will give him the time of day.

 

[Lone MacReady II]

I do not think there was a single person on Earth who wanted an Assassin's Creed set in Japan that was about a nigger and a dyke listening to rap.

Larry Fink and his (((funders))) clearly wanted it, and still do. Everything is to be nigger'd under their kosher supervision. ESG, D.I.E., B.R.I.D.G.E., all complicated acronyms for very simple molechian kikery.

 

[BScCollateral]

I haven't played the game, but I've seen playthroughs.
So this might be offbase, but is there anything in the game that suggests Yasuke is African? I mean, I know he's black, but does he ever do anything like teaching his friends how to play Mancala, does he tell any identifiable childhood stories to the kids he encounters, does he draw parallels between a Shinto Mirror and the mirrors on Nkondi, anything like that at all which might suggest he's a man from africa and not just an empty vessel waiting to be filled?

 

[Colress]

I haven't played the game, but I've seen playthroughs.
So this might be offbase, but is there anything in the game that suggests Yasuke is African? I mean, I know he's black, but does he ever do anything like teaching his friends how to play Mancala, does he tell any identifiable childhood stories to the kids he encounters, does he draw parallels between a Shinto Mirror and the mirrors on Nkondi, anything like that at all which might suggest he's a man from africa and not just an empty vessel waiting to be filled?

If I recall it does show him on a slaver's ship for a major plot point and it does point to him being from africa (as well as a pendant his mom is wearing iirc?) He also says that where he comes from, everybody looks like him- but he never specifies further.

I might be misremembering but I think someone calls him "the african" too.

 

[BScCollateral]

If I recall it does show him on a slaver's ship for a major plot point and it does point to him being from africa (as well as a pendant his mom is wearing iirc?) He also says that where he comes from, everybody looks like him- but he never specifies further.

I might be misremembering but I think someone calls him "the african" too.

So absolutely no evidence of any research?

 

[Colress]

So absolutely no evidence of any research?

Not a single bit. It's entirely bullshit lmfao

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

View attachment 8304730View attachment 8304732
Ubi-niggers be desperate.

I played Ghost of Sushimama and every single moment I enjoyed it, I thought to myself "this is such a fucking convoluted and stretched-out way to replicate AC Shadows without just doing it 1:1". I then bought Shadows and had a better time. It's the same open-world collectathon, except it's a complete chore in Ghost with very little reward. Run here, watch a 10 min cutscene, run here, kill, run back, 10 min cutscene. It's such Oscar-bait; woe is I, our culture and being invaded.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Lol, the coon tunes during gameplay is so fucking retarded. I do not think there was a single person on Earth who wanted an Assassin's Creed set in Japan that was about a nigger and a dyke listening to rap. I have no idea what possessed you to finish that game, but I appreciate the field report nonetheless.

Also what the hell are those facial animations? They look like Mass Effect 1 with a texture pack mod.

They must have either, in addition to being true believers, thought that:
1) This would be THE Black game to sell to all the Blacks (nevermind that they're like 16% of the US population)
2) They'd also get tons of other sales from Whites obsessed with Black stuff

But that's me being charitable, because they already whored Black stuff twice with Liberation and Freedom Cry AND they said had a Reconstruction (not even Civil War, Reconstruction) game in the works.

 

[Colress]

weirdly enough im pretty sure naoe is straight- the closest thing my playthrough had to romance for her was that one thief motherfucker blowing himself up.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Picked up Origins again; going to see how far I can get in it this time. Any suggestions for weapons, gear, etc.? Wouldn't mind some extra entertainment or decent weapons early.