Bad Crafting/DIY projects - Just because it isn't sold on Etsy doesn't mean it doesn't suck

[Fialovy]

I finally got around to make this thread after it was suggested by @BluntyBitch in the fiber arts drama thread to make a thread about bad craft and DIY projects whether it is knitting, crocheting, cross stitch, embroidery, anything. Although we have a shitty Etsy thread, not every bad craft project is for sale on Etsy.
These are also not necessarily bad due to incompetence like you see with people attempting stuff from Pinterest, but more like "Why would you make this?" and stuff that just seems like a waste of materials.

Here are some things I have found on the r/crochet subreddit

 

[R00T]

The triceratops would be a good gift for a toddler if there wasn’t… you know… a pipe and weed leaves on it.

 

[Fialovy]

The triceratops would be a good gift for a toddler if there wasn’t… you know… a pipe and weed leaves on it.

I actually think I do recognize that pattern from somewhere or at least the pattern it is inspired by. Yeah, I expect to see a lot of 4/20 crafts popping up on there.

Also, that troon tote, aside from the message, the letters look really wonky, if that is their magnum opus, that is kind of sad, especially since the stitches are very basic. I think that troon might have tried color work, but realized that it doesn't show up with variegated yarn that well so they had to make those wonky borders to make it legible. This could be avoided if they didn't use variegated yarn like that, but you know, troon flag

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Does this one count?


This one should definitely count (depending on the creators intentions).

 

[Mr. Bung]

The knitting is good quality. The hat is just weird and groomer bag is of course, a groomer bag. Triceratops is cool if I was into crochet style which I'm not. It can make nice blankets though.

 

[Sperghetti]

That “I’m so quirky” side glance and half-smirk is definitely one of the most punchable facial expressions out there.

 

[Fialovy]

Awful patterns for stuff can be put into this thread too, like, there is this infamous granny square bikini that they specifically tell you is not for the water. It is made with acrylic yarn which back in the day was very scratchy and uncomfortable compared to now.

 

[Snusmumriken]

Does this one count?
View attachment 3140305

This one should definitely count (depending on the creators intentions).
View attachment 3140311

Korean Piglet doesn’t count because I would pay at LEAST $20 for it.
But yeah I guess I do find it strange that someone made a crochet doll of Luna-Buna, the “Empath Momma’s” Little Water Balloon.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Awful patterns for stuff can be put into this thread too, like, there is this infamous granny square bikini that they specifically tell you is not for the water. It is made with acrylic yarn which back in the day was very scratchy and uncomfortable compared to now.

View attachment 3140438

Oh god, yea OK I've seen some stuff like this in a charity shop there was some stuff about home made bras and alike and the models they had using them just looked embarrassed, 50's ponty boobs and all.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Awful patterns for stuff can be put into this thread too

Endless repeat of this classic.


If you really want the pattern to make your family into creepy super heroes:

Snow Fooling Ski Mask pattern by Meg Swansen

As with most designs by Meg Swansen (and her mother, Elizabeth Zimmermann), prose instructions are provided to make a basic design, with suggestions for alternatives.

www.ravelry.com

 

[Minecraft Axolotl]

Oh I've been waiting for this one

 

[Character from a movie]

Oh I've been waiting for this one
View attachment 3140713

That's a cross between Eevee and Digglett

 

[Ebony Way]

Oh I've been waiting for this one
View attachment 3140712View attachment 3140713View attachment 3140715

That last one is weirdly cute. Like "yeah, I'm shitty but I'm too happy to care".

 

[Fialovy]

Here are some gems I found while looking for vintage patterns on ebay.


Gifts? Who would accept these things as gifts?


I mean, I guess they are cute, but it is a little bizarre, especially how they are arranged on the cover



These are nightmare fuel, I'd rather my hands burn



I can't see this even being fashionable even back then, it looks like shit


Granny square overalls! People back then reeeeeeeeally liked their granny squares.

 

[R00T]

The yarn tunic might be fun for a dress dumb party.

 

[Lady Bizness]

See, this is the kind of content I miss from the good ol' days of internet forums. Cheers @Fialovy.

 

[Ebony Way]

The yarn tunic might be fun for a dress dumb party.

Or crochet one in all black, add it to a flowy all-black outfit and your local hippy goth will be BEGGING you to borrow it.

I know I'd be making the one on the right in black and wearing it everywhere if my knitting brain could figure out crochet. It's like a giant yarn necklace.

The hippy goths have no answers for those fucking granny square overalls though. There is no salvaging that.

 

[supremeautismo]

Went on Deviantart to find poor craftsmanship and can’t say I’m disappointed.

Most crafts in this Deviantart group range from not-perfect but cute to genuinely impressive. Except this Autist who pops up over and over again with these hideous Pokemon designs:





Pony shit and badly done? Double-whammy.




Is the ability to crochet corpses unintentionally a gift or curse?





Crimson Chin energy



This is not a turd, but apparently, a liver. Because of course it is.

 

[Lady Bizness]

Went on Deviantart to find poor craftsmanship and can’t say I’m disappointed.

Most crafts in this Deviantart group range from not-perfect but cute to genuinely impressive. Except this Autist who pops up over and over again with these hideous Pokemon designs:

View attachment 3143196

View attachment 3143192

Pony shit and badly done? Double-whammy.

View attachment 3143194
View attachment 3143195

Is the ability to crochet corpses unintentionally a gift or curse?



View attachment 3143198

Crimson Chin energy

View attachment 3143201

This is not a turd, but apparently, a liver. Because of course it is.

It's just so ugly and unrecognizable... might be an unpopular opinion, but amigurumi in general, whether knitted or crochet is kinda shit. I've made a few things for kids that came out just fine but you have to select the right pattern, materials, and expectations. Otherwise it's just an exercise of "look what I can do with this difficult media." Might as well just sew a plushie if you're really interested in making a likeness of rainbow dash in 3D, and leave the extraordinary feats of yarn to the bored masters who have already made a thousand sweaters.

That Hello Kitty would have been an appropriate project though, just the stuffing went a little uh.. John Carpenter-esque LOL!

I should contribute something, and hopefully I do it right this time because I shared this before. Fialovy I'm raising the stakes on Trans-bags here:

Look at that fine stitching.

 

[Fialovy]

Found this pattern book for crochet flowers, the flowers look decent, but the woman on the cover the way she poses and how the flowers are just tacked on just looks bizarre and out of place