Barb

[Trombonista]

Chris exhibits fits of rage too. All of his videos where he's trying to prove how strong he is are a childish version of waving a steak knife around. The more he grows up completely detached from society, the more irrational his behavior becomes, the more dangerous he is. When he's 40-something, he'll be completely insane and totally alone. Maybe he forgot to pay the water bill, maybe his shower is inoperable, but lets say he's 45, unkempt, smelling like garbage and feces sitting in in a McDonalds restaurant. The manager walks up and tells him he has to leave. He stress sighs, tells the guy his life story, and the Manager (someone who'd be 12 today, growing up along with the Internet for 10 years) says something like, "Dude, please don't be butthurt about it. Just go."

The word "butthurt" triggers a flashback. 15 years of paranoia rush up through his cerebral cortex. He doesn't know how to handle it, he thinks of the trolls (the people he's dwelled on for more than a decade for 'ruining his life') are at it again. He grabs his plastic fork, lunges at the guy, and stabs him in the eye. A 41 year old 300 pound man reeking of garbage just partially blinded a 22 year old kid managing a McDonalds. That will be the final saga of Christian Weston Chandler.

Chilling.

Yeah... Judging by his dental hygiene and the possibility he used that fork, said 22 year old could suffer so much shitty bacteria and could die since antibiotics can't do shit against his "fangs". Making out Pet Lolcow responsible for murder besides assault.

I highly doubt Chris will give you MRSA.

 

[93Aiwass]

Chris exhibits fits of rage too. All of his videos where he's trying to prove how strong he is are a childish version of waving a steak knife around. The more he grows up completely detached from society, the more irrational his behavior becomes, the more dangerous he is. When he's 40-something, he'll be completely insane and totally alone. Maybe he forgot to pay the water bill, maybe his shower is inoperable, but lets say he's 45, unkempt, smelling like garbage and feces sitting in in a McDonalds restaurant. The manager walks up and tells him he has to leave. He stress sighs, tells the guy his life story, and the Manager (someone who'd be 12 today, growing up along with the Internet for 10 years) says something like, "Dude, please don't be butthurt about it. Just go."

The word "butthurt" triggers a flashback. 15 years of paranoia rush up through his cerebral cortex. He doesn't know how to handle it, he thinks of the trolls (the people he's dwelled on for more than a decade for 'ruining his life') are at it again. He grabs his plastic fork, lunges at the guy, and stabs him in the eye. A 41 year old 300 pound man reeking of garbage just partially blinded a 22 year old kid managing a McDonalds. That will be the final saga of Christian Weston Chandler.

Yeah... Judging by his dental hygiene and the possibility he used that fork, said 22 year old could suffer so much shitty bacteria and could die since antibiotics can't do shit against his "fangs". Making out Pet Lolcow responsible for murder besides assault.

I highly doubt Chris will give you MRSA.

How about rabies? Rabies seems likely.

 

[Stratochu]

I agree on the thing about CWC ending up in one final blaze of glory (probably at Goodwill, McDonald's, Food Lion, Kroger, Sheetz or Wal-Mart, since those seem to be the main places he goes these days), but if it's significant enough he may finally get a Wikipedia article, and he might make news on sites like The Smoking Gun and Huffington Post Crime News due to attempting frivolous lawsuits and appeals or even a really cockamamie escape attempt.

 

[Seahorses]

Chris exhibits fits of rage too. All of his videos where he's trying to prove how strong he is are a childish version of waving a steak knife around.

Didn't he have some videos were he was waving a knife around?

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

Chris exhibits fits of rage too. All of his videos where he's trying to prove how strong he is are a childish version of waving a steak knife around.

Didn't he have some videos were he was waving a knife around?

Yes, it was one of those Victorinox type of knives (I forget the name in English) He was using that to intimidate his arch-nemesis Clyde Cash.

-
Maybe when Barb dies Chris will have a mental breakdown, upon realising that his only companion in life is gone forever. He would leave Barb on her room, while the bugs in the Chandler house would feast on her carcass.

 

[Saney]

Chris exhibits fits of rage too. All of his videos where he's trying to prove how strong he is are a childish version of waving a steak knife around.

Didn't he have some videos were he was waving a knife around?

Yes, it was one of those Victorinox type of knives (I forget the name in English) He was using that to intimidate his arch-nemesis Clyde Cash.

-
Maybe when Barb dies Chris will have a mental breakdown, upon realising that his only companion in life is gone forever. He would leave Barb on her room, while the bugs in the Chandler house would feast on her carcass.

Now that's a morbid thought. Do we start calling him Christian Bates once he does that?

 

[PolterBob]

but more likely a Probate Court will declare the property sold and the money put into a trust for Chris, who would then be moved into some halfwit house (which Chris will likely get kicked out of for fighting with the slow-in-the-minds there).

How do you consider this "likely"?

It's not likely at all. Chris may be in the criminal court system, but thanks to Borb he has no significant presence or history in the mental health system. No court is magically going to be bored the day Barb dies and say "hey, let's take a look around town and see if any retards slipped through the cracks that we can take care of". Once Barb is gone, no one is coming to care for Chris. The only way he'll lose his house is if the bank takes it away because he doesn't keep up on payments. In which case, whatever civil court handles that seizure won't say "oh hey wait, you have autism? Oh okay, let's find you a place to live."

The courts know that Chris is special. That's why he gets away with shit that would put any of us in the Big House if we ever did it.

And the local Social Services know about the situation at 14BLC, bugs and all. They'll know that Chris isn't capable of handling an entire household by himself, and there's no way he'll afford property taxes and other essential services on his tugboat. Unless Bob was a Secret Millionaire that has a trust fund ready for Chris, that house will have to go.

 

[Marvin]

The courts know that Chris is special. That's why he gets away with shit that would put any of us in the Big House if we ever did it.

I think it's more likely Chris and Barb did well in the courts because they had a fantastic lawyer.

And the local Social Services know about the situation at 14BLC, bugs and all. They'll know that Chris isn't capable of handling an entire household by himself, and there's no way he'll afford property taxes and other essential services on his tugboat. Unless Bob was a Secret Millionaire that has a trust fund ready for Chris, that house will have to go.

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

 

[pickleniggo]

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

Does the house even have a mortgage on it?

 

[Marvin]

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

Does the house even have a mortgage on it?

Maybe

 

[pickleniggo]

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

Does the house even have a mortgage on it?

Maybe

Oh dear! One would think it would've been paid off by now.

 

[CatParty]

He's pretty much screwed once she goes and there's a mortgage.

 

[Marvin]

Does the house even have a mortgage on it?

Maybe

Oh dear! One would think it would've been paid off by now.

Could've taken out another one? I don't know, beats me.

 

[Midnight Kissy Bull]

Didn't Smokedaddy say that the house was paid off? If so, they only have to worry about property taxes, right?

 

[Marvin]

Didn't Smokedaddy say that the house was paid off? If so, they only have to worry about property taxes, right?

Don't know who that is, but they're misinformed. Like, unless they're someone I know and I just don't recognize the name?

 

[PolterBob]

I think it's more likely Chris and Barb did well in the courts because they had a fantastic lawyer.

I still think that Bell's teabagger politician status gives him some muscle in the courts more than any real talent. No judge wants to have the Teabaggers breathing down his/her neck if they don't kowtow to one of their local bigshots, like Bell. "OMGBBQ AKTIVIST JUDGES!" and all that shit.

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

You actually believe that Chris would actually pay any sort of bill, ever? The only time he ever would pay anything besides his own selfish wants is because the courts are ordering him to, and even then Chris has to shoot off his mouth in court about what a thief the other person allegedly is.

Didn't Smokedaddy say that the house was paid off? If so, they only have to worry about property taxes, right?

I thought whatever savings they used to have was flushed away decades ago when Bob had to take Chris out of the reach of the Ruckerville School Board, living out of an apartment in a nearby county while they attempted to sell of the house (and failed).

And as I said and as others have pointed out, Chris has no sense of money or the value of anything. Paid off or not, Chris will have things like property taxes, trash hauling fees, and other things to contend with. He will ignore the bills and keep playing his Vita at McDonald's until they come to shut off his electricity, gas, and water. Then he'll set 14BLC ablaze by trying to use candles that will get in contact with the many infested piles of filth.

And knowing Chris, he's likely to fight off the fire dept. from going into the house.

 

[Marvin]

I think it's more likely Chris and Barb did well in the courts because they had a fantastic lawyer.

I still think that Bell's teabagger politician status gives him some muscle in the courts more than any real talent. No judge wants to have the Teabaggers breathing down his/her neck if they don't kowtow to one of their local bigshots, like Bell. "OMGBBQ AKTIVIST JUDGES!" and all that shit.

I don't know if he's a teabagger. Plus I heard somewhere that he was a pretty solid lawyer.

 

[PolterBob]

I think it's more likely Chris and Barb did well in the courts because they had a fantastic lawyer.

I still think that Bell's teabagger politician status gives him some muscle in the courts more than any real talent. No judge wants to have the Teabaggers breathing down his/her neck if they don't kowtow to one of their local bigshots, like Bell. "OMGBBQ AKTIVIST JUDGES!" and all that shit.

I don't know if he's a teabagger. Plus I heard somewhere that he was a pretty solid lawyer.

[youtube]ERtAQ-Hk4uQ[/youtube]

 

[shutupman]

You actually believe that Chris would actually pay any sort of bill, ever? The only time he ever would pay anything besides his own selfish wants is because the courts are ordering him to, and even then Chris has to shoot off his mouth in court about what a thief the other person allegedly is.

All it would take is for someone to set up automatic billing, preventing Chris from squandering money that should be used for bills.
This leads into another problem for Chris though, since he has no self discipline when it comes to spending, even if he knows he doesn't have the money for it. I can see him trying to pull another "da trollz took my moneys from my account! its not my fault!" tactic, but this time with a bank and not his parents.

 

[Marvin]

Depending on how big their mortgage is, Chris could probably scrape by.

You actually believe that Chris would actually pay any sort of bill, ever? The only time he ever would pay anything besides his own selfish wants is because the courts are ordering him to, and even then Chris has to shoot off his mouth in court about what a thief the other person allegedly is.

Oh, I missed this one.

Yeah, Chris would definitely pay some bills. I would worry about which bills he would know about and which ones he's never heard of. He knows he needs electricity for his ps3, for example. But I can't imagine he'd think about property taxes on his own.