best quotes by chris

[Tubular Monkey]

Everything he has ever said is an alphabet soup of stupidity and unintended irony. But if I had to choose something that transcended his usual idiocy and elevated itself to God-Level retardation, it would have to be:

"I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed."

 

[tehpope]

BOOBIES, VAGINAS....mmmmm, gorgeous

MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!

 

[Count groudon]

BOOBIES, VAGINAS....mmmmm, gorgeous

MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!

Christian Weston Chandler: master of the sensual arts

 

[The Dude]

I'll tickle yo pussayyyyy!

 

[homerbeoulve]

"What did ya do, you kicked me in the balls again!"

 

[Tubular Monkey]

"What did ya do, you kicked me in the balls again!"

As he punches himself in the balls.

 

[The Dude]

I'll send everyone IN MY POWER!

 

[trip2themoon]

GAS IS EXPENSIVE cracks me up for some reason.

It cracks me up when anyone from America tries to claim that petrol is expensive. I wonder how they'd handle $10 a gallon?

 

[garbageraider]

GAS IS EXPENSIVE cracks me up for some reason.

It cracks me up when anyone from America tries to claim that petrol is expensive. I wonder how they'd handle $10 a gallon?

How would America handle $10 a gallon petrol? We'd probably invade some middle-eastern country whose name we can't pronounce and then steal their oil negotiate a new trade agreement with them on coerced terms.

 

[Judge Holden]

Once again I must vote for this

EEEENNNNNGGGGGGG ILL SSSSSSTTTTTTTTRRRRAAANGLE THAT CLYDE CAT!!! ILL PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!!!

or this

Well...the pickle man tricked me again

 

[Some JERK]

I always imagine CatParty as a reference-desk librarian who doesn't even bother to look up from his crossword as he gives people an index card with the location of what they're looking for:

New poster: "Hey do you think Chris ever..."

CatParty: "http://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=x&t=yyy&p=zzzz
...past the water faucet.
...left at periodicals."

 

[GFYS]

Buh bye bay nose

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

my dick is longer than previously photographed, and no longer bent

 

[littlebiscuits]

I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.

My mother and father are good people, I've had good role models who showed me how to act as a gentleman, Red Skelton to name one. I also see myself as a leader-figure, like Optimus Prime.

--From: "Christian In His Own Words".

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

The "THAT IS MY HOUSE" is a classic video with classic lines, something I'm sure we all know by now.

But above all, I think this line's my favorite:

I'll send in detectives! I'll send in police! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY POWER!

It serves as my favorite for two reasons:
1. Chris has no idea how the law works (which we all also know about).
2. The way he says detectives makes him sound like he's saying "the tap dance" instead.

 

[The Fair Lady]

I am not a pedofork, you dorks.

Buh bye bay nose

-MY NAME IS NOT IAN. BRANDON. SOMETHING!
-I've had only few male acquaintances. And they've definitely turned me off—the majority of them—because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate...causing wars and such.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

-MY NAME IS NOT IAN. BRANDON. SOMETHING!

How the hell did we get to page 3 of this thread before this came up?

 

[The Fair Lady]

Bob: ...in the Army. So, Christmas break, Christmas time, right. I didn't have anywhere to go. I decided to hitchhike.

Emily: [laughs]

Bob: Yeah. While I was in the Army, I spent nine months in New York anyway.

Emily: Yeah.

Bob: [inaudible] Fort [???] [inaudible] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.

Emily: Mm-hmm.

Chris: No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.

Bob: Uh-

Chris: I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!
~19 March 2009

 

[Iä! Iä!]

I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.

My mother and father are good people, I've had good role models who showed me how to act as a gentleman, Red Skelton to name one. I also see myself as a leader-figure, like Optimus Prime.

--From: "Christian In His Own Words".

Chris' role model, ladies and gentlemen.

 

[Bubbles]

Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.