best quotes by chris

Status
Not open for further replies.
"I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There is no elections."

wow

Pretty much any time he talks about his dystopian fantasy world makes for gold. The bad grammar is just icing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BOLDYSPICY!
Doge said:
"I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There is no elections."

wow

Pretty much any time he talks about his dystopian fantasy world makes for gold. The bad grammar is just icing.
Click to expand...

Please tell me what is grammaticallty incorrect in that sentence. I only ask because my grammer teachers allowed me to play on the computer all peroid after doing my C+ quality homework and I feel dumb.

Edit - *are. There *are no elections. Nevermind.
 
Iä! Iä! said:
littlebiscuits said:
I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.

My mother and father are good people, I've had good role models who showed me how to act as a gentleman, Red Skelton to name one. I also see myself as a leader-figure, like Optimus Prime.
Click to expand...

--From: "Christian In His Own Words".
Click to expand...

http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy25 ... er-KET.jpg

Chris' role model, ladies and gentlemen.
Click to expand...

Mmm, yeah. That--that 'splains a lot. Hm. You can tell he's a gennlman 'cause he's got on a suit and a tie.
 
Here's a one I like, taken from the latest of the leaked Jackie emails, written shorty after Bob's death:

OPL said:
I have been emotionally comforting to my mom and keeping her straight as she is still feeling drunk-like weird, lonely and sad. [my emphasis]
Click to expand...

Considering the fact that OPL stares at a Sailor Moon poster to keep himself straight, his choice of words raised unfortunate images within my mind. How exactly was Chris keeping Barbara straight? By providing her with arousing porn featuring good looking males? I'm sure that falling off the straight path was a very serious danger for Barb at the time due to not having a husband anymore.
 
" I am "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler. Live long, and shine on, in your very own unique way. War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you fuzzy-wuzzies. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too."

-Words of wisdom from Future Message. I mean, who needs Gandhi quotes?
 
EEAANGHHH. BRAANDOOON. SOMETHINGG!

EGGHGHHHNNNNNNNN :briefs: :briefs: :briefs: I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!!

Badass, or whatdya kinda call it

and

CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC

are my favourites.
 
"If Seth would let her turn 18, I would be all over her sweet pussy and breasts!
Wham Bam, Thank You Maam! :D"

Chris, as usual, sharing information no one wants to hear.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BOLDYSPICY!
Chris "I'm not a Freaking Creep" Chandler said:
I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry. If it helps put things into perspective, I can reccomend finding information on the internet through this educational website I've found through AdamEve.com. Or I reccomend renting "The 40 Year Old Virgin"; that movie touches on some of the issues around sex, and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet (or I can loan you my copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"). The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.
Click to expand...

It's like somebody just dared him; "Hey Chris, think you could be even more offensive to your only friend?"
 
I will have to go with the Emily date when Bob was talking about his travels, and then Chris has to say this....

"I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!"

Just the kind of thing a girl wants to hear, about how a guy was hanging in his dad's nutsacks during a trip.
 
"I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket."

"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."

"Uncle Spunky is a Funky Monkey."

I've always liked Chris' "random access humour"... Well, "like" isn't really the word I'm looking for. But I feel they give a real insight into just what level his mind is operating at...
 
Tubular Monkey said:
Everything he has ever said is an alphabet soup of stupidity and unintended irony. But if I had to choose something that transcended his usual idiocy and elevated itself to God-Level retardation, it would have to be:

"I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed."
Click to expand...


The brilliance of this quote only now just hit me and I think I woke up half the house with my laughter.

I'm surprised we've gotten this far without the classic:


GET AWAY FROM THAT INNERNET AAHM CUTTIN IT DOWN!!!!!!
 
I've always been partial to "I work 40 hours a week to support my parents."
Gets me every time.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back