best quotes by chris

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R.A.E.L. said:
BillRiley said:
Bob: ...in the Army. So, Christmas break, Christmas time, right. I didn't have anywhere to go. I decided to hitchhike.

Emily: [laughs]

Bob: Yeah. While I was in the Army, I spent nine months in New York anyway.

Emily: Yeah.

Bob: [inaudible] Fort [???] [inaudible] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.

Emily: Mm-hmm.

Chris: No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.

Bob: Uh-

Chris: I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!
~19 March 2009
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You pictured it, didn't you? You were warned!

"Dis does not even deserve a Captain's Log ~dramatic glasses removal~ be-cuz dis is dead serious!"
 
Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you.
Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you.
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Also

I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry. If it helps put things into perspective, I can reccomend finding information on the internet through this educational website I've found through AdamEve.com. Or I reccomend renting "The 40 Year Old Virgin"; that movie touches on some of the issues around sex, and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet (or I can loan you my copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"). The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.
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Fatty said:
I do wear glasses. Take it or leave it, losers! It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... consume of.
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From CWC's second message. A true classic.
 
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I have always thought the quote

"It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!"

from that is my house sums things up. He is expressing confusion and bewilderment, but he is expressing it in a way that supports his "point" in an argument and makes excuses, instead of asking a question. Basically he is saying. "I am an idiot, therefore I am right and you are wrong."
 
Hey, y'aaall. Just checking in again.

Letting y'all know that, uh, the video, uh, I recently uploaded where I—with the truths at the end. Those truths were lies. Yeah, I'm not supporting my family, I don't have a jaaaaawwwwb, so there, and I am high functionally autistic, and I'm nearsighted. Still a virgin. So there you go.

Hmph. Take that you lousy trolls. Peace.
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Yeah, burn on us alright.
 
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I'm going to edit it because it's quite long:
Chris:Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
(snip)
Chris: I mean, I just felt like I had to know.
Kacey: I mean... Okay... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?
Chris: I mean like, who was the, uh... Supposed- In that sense, who was the bigger man, there.
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:tomgirl:
 
Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh, gals. My name is Christian Chandler; I am here, and y'all are there. This message is for everyone of the present and the future, beyond this date: February 24th, 2007th. My birthday. My twenty-fifth birthday.
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Descent said:
I'm going to edit it because it's quite long:
Chris:Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
(snip)
Chris: I mean, I just felt like I had to know.
Kacey: I mean... Okay... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?
Chris: I mean like, who was the, uh... Supposed- In that sense, who was the bigger man, there.
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:tomgirl:
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Holy hell, I've missed out on some real gems.
 
Please understand: I am a 25 year old, high-funtshening autistic male… with a simple, peaceful dream… of becoming a father of a sweet, lil, pretty girl, who I will dub-ly name Crystal Wesson Chanler. Crystal: a name that sounds simla to mine, but it has a nice ring to it. And it’s also simla to the illustrious metal that is mined from the Ers’s ground.
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"Hmmm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together. Hmmm, I'll do you so many--I'll—-I’ll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm! I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm."
 
"I hate pickles. :("
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Well fuck you, Chris.
 
I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!" *sigh*
 
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