Best Zero Effort Food?

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Spaghettios with meatballs straight out of the can

El Monterrey frozen microwave burritos

A flour tortilla with peanut butter in it

Real mf seasonal affective sustenance hours
 
  • Coconut rice, beef and cabbage
  • Fluffernutter with banana
  • Canned chili with assorted vegetables, extra beans and taco bell habenero ranch sauce
  • Costco stuffed bell pepper
  • Baked tuna melts
  • Marmite, jalapeño Tabasco and jam on whole wheat toast
  • Weeknight spaghetti (crushed marzano tomatoes, onions simmered with dried red peppers with baked deli meatballs)
  • Frozen French onion soup
 
Salsa Chicken/Pork

3 ingredients: Chicken breast or pork shoulder, full jar of salsa, taco seasoning packet.
Put the ingredients (in order) into a slow cooker and leave it on low until the meat pulls apart easily. You don't even have to thaw the meat if you're extra lazy, the only stressful part is cleaning the porcelain slow cooker dish after making the food. Serve over rice or put into burritos with a dollop of sour cream, authentic latinx cuisine.
 
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Put rice in rice cooker bowl. Rinse and drain rice a few times to improve flavor. Push butan.
Heat up a thing to put on the rice. Basically anything will do. Bacon. Egg. Hotdog. Sausage. Beef. Chicken. I aim for a protein but you do you, veggies are great too, if you've got nothing else just grab some seasoning and a pat of butter.
Once the rice is cooked, put the thing on the rice. Eat.

"Random shit on rice" is a staple food for basically all of Asia for a reason: it works. Rice is cheap, easy, filling, stores for years, and goes with basically anything. It can stretch out more expensive ingredients across several meals.

I weebed out and got an actual rice cooker, but decent results can be had just boiling it in a pot. The critical thing is to rinse the rice thoroughly before cooking it, there's dust and starchy shit on the grains from the processing that gives it a gross, plastic flavor if you don't rinse it first. Pour water on rice in a bowl and watch how the water immediately turns a cloudy white. That's the shit you don't want to eat. Rinse and pour until the water stops immediately looking like milk. You won't be able to get it perfectly clear, don't be an autist about it, a few rinses should suffice.
 
I like my retarded quesadillas, heat a pan-no oil needed- prop two corn tortillas up on each other and plop on some dark red kidney beans and cheddar cheese. let one side get cripsy, fold the tops down and flip, toasting the other side. yummy bean and cheese
 
My easiest "fancy" dish.
Pasta (spaghetti, fettuccine, linguine, or whatever but swirly pasta probably wont work)
Can of "Portuguese" style octopus (or squid)
Tbs to 1/2 of pasta water
Whatever the fuck you want.

Cook pasta and mix shit together on higher medium, use pasta water to thicken.

The canned Portuguese cephalopods are canned with a semi spicy oily tomato sauce. It makes a great easy sauce that goes with pasta. My favorite combo is to add sautéed onions, sambbal olek (chili), quartered cherry tomatoes, and tossed with fresh arugula just before serving (I keep forgetting to add capers)

It's so easy to make and also dirt cheap. Even just the can of whatever and pasta is tasty (great camping food), It can also be a great food to cook for a date because it seems fancy.

@AnOminous I feel like this might be a dish you'd like.
 
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Dirk Willems said:
Leftovers in general are fantastic. If you live alone, a few doubled recipes can give you weeks worth of zero-effort food. Stagger them and throw in a few scratch meals so you don't get tired of reheated stuff and you can eat cheap and easy, especially if it's soup. I know a family that cooks only on weekends with this method.
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Pytt as I already have mentioned is the best leftover dish when it comes to northern-europe staples.

But there's another thing, if you have and old school metal lunch box and you have a leftover pasta dish just pour it into those.
The next day, MAYBE pour it into a cold pan with some cream and spices and stir it up. If done that way, pour it back it back into the lunch box(es), grate some cheese on top and put it into the oven. Soon the old meal is a similar but different gratinated pasta meal in a convenient burning hot container.
 
robobobo said:
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Put rice in rice cooker bowl. Rinse and drain rice a few times to improve flavor. Push butan.
Heat up a thing to put on the rice. Basically anything will do. Bacon. Egg. Hotdog. Sausage. Beef. Chicken. I aim for a protein but you do you, veggies are great too, if you've got nothing else just grab some seasoning and a pat of butter.
Once the rice is cooked, put the thing on the rice. Eat.

"Random shit on rice" is a staple food for basically all of Asia for a reason: it works. Rice is cheap, easy, filling, stores for years, and goes with basically anything. It can stretch out more expensive ingredients across several meals.

I weebed out and got an actual rice cooker, but decent results can be had just boiling it in a pot. The critical thing is to rinse the rice thoroughly before cooking it, there's dust and starchy shit on the grains from the processing that gives it a gross, plastic flavor if you don't rinse it first. Pour water on rice in a bowl and watch how the water immediately turns a cloudy white. That's the shit you don't want to eat. Rinse and pour until the water stops immediately looking like milk. You won't be able to get it perfectly clear, don't be an autist about it, a few rinses should suffice.
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You can use these to make pasta. Just dump the pasta and sauce in there with some water and cook for a bit. Texture is different from standard pot-boiled pasta, but it's easier.
 
Toast. Love that shit. With butter or cream or none. Just toast. Roasted bread, motherfucker. Your ancestors would've died over that shit.
 
God of Nothing said:
Toast. Love that shit. With butter or cream or none. Just toast. Roasted bread, motherfucker. Your ancestors would've died over that shit.
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It's a bit dry without anything on it though is it not?

I do sometimes like to get the hobo experience of eating canned fruit or veges directly from the can, no where near as good as fresh food but peas n mint can be a good supper.
 
Poptarts. No effort and always a winner.
 
Spiny Rumples said:
Steaming an egg is a bit faster than boiling one because less water needs to be heated to boiling.
Also very little cleanup.
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Got an air fryer and it makes hardboiled eggs like a dream. No cleanup besides peeling the eggs.

I also get heavy usage out of a 20ish oz blender for smoothies. Water, ice, frozen fruit, a banana, some lime juice, and a scoop of whey powder. Takes like 2-3 minutes tops.
 
For zero effort food that's still somewhat healthy I like to make tortilla wraps, literally just need to prep the filling that you can adapt based on how much effort you're willing to invest. You can also make a sandwich if you have some freshly baked bread.
Otherwise when I'm not hungry during the evening, I like to defrost some bread and eat it with some cheese, some paté, dry fruits/nuts, yogurt.

A meal that's super easy, fast and requires little to no ingredients:
1 small can of flageolet beans, 1 small can of green beans, 1 meat patty frozen or fresh, 1 garlic clove, some butter, some parsley, salt, pepper.
Appliances: microwave, stove top and pan.
-Drain the flageolet and the bean cans, heat the pan high, mince the garlic clove.
-Toss the beans in a container that goes in the microwaves, add like 5g of butter, season with parsley, salt, pepper and the minced garlic.
-Cook the meat patty and heat the beans in the microwave (2x2mins @800W) until it's hot and the butter melted.
This takes around 15 minutes to prepare and cook, and not much stuff to clean afterward. You can replace the beef patty with chicken/turkey filet, it will cook even faster but needs some extra seasoning to be tasty.
A variant of this recipe is to replace the beans with frozen creamed spinach and the meat with fried eggs.
 
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