Biggest bullshit in a video game

Why is this, exactly? Did anyone actually find this fun?

Hitchhikers Guide was a lot of fun. It was a sort of proto-Sierra game where it was expected the game was unfair. Really, really unfair in fact: at one point the game lies to you. You would be saving pretty much constantly so any misstep would reward you with a funny quip and then you'd reload.

At some point adventure games became graphic and started to receive game-lenghtening content just to make the price tag more palatable. Towers of Hanoi in Simon the Sorcerer were complete filler and the game would be better without them, same with casino in LSL1. And right before they died off, producers apparently started to put in complete crap to pad out the game even more. The infamous moustache puzzle is apparently one of those.

But the most common gamestopper has to be accidental. It's either adventure game logic taken slightly too far or an error in translation. Let me give examples.

In Monkey Island 3 you must get a gold tooth from an old pirates mouth. He only has 3 teeth, so you give him gum and pop the balloon when he starts blowing them. All is good so far, now you can pick up the tooth from floor. But how do you sneak it past the pirate?Adventure game logic! You breathe in helium, chew some gum yourself, stick the teeth into the gum and blow a helium ball which floats out the window...

Monkey Island 2: Behind a waterfall is a secret passage (because of course there is). But how do you get there? Above the waterfall is a valve which controls the waterfall. Error in translation! You go to a bar, entice a monkey pianist to follow the banana you have and use him as a literal monkey wrench on the valve. That was not very easy when you were 12 and didn't live in an English-speaking country. And even if you did, it better have been a place where the term was in common use.
 
Hitchhikers Guide was a lot of fun. It was a sort of proto-Sierra game where it was expected the game was unfair. Really, really unfair in fact: at one point the game lies to you. You would be saving pretty much constantly so any misstep would reward you with a funny quip and then you'd reload.

At some point adventure games became graphic and started to receive game-lenghtening content just to make the price tag more palatable. Towers of Hanoi in Simon the Sorcerer were complete filler and the game would be better without them, same with casino in LSL1. And right before they died off, producers apparently started to put in complete crap to pad out the game even more. The infamous moustache puzzle is apparently one of those.

But the most common gamestopper has to be accidental. It's either adventure game logic taken slightly too far or an error in translation. Let me give examples.

In Monkey Island 3 you must get a gold tooth from an old pirates mouth. He only has 3 teeth, so you give him gum and pop the balloon when he starts blowing them. All is good so far, now you can pick up the tooth from floor. But how do you sneak it past the pirate?Adventure game logic! You breathe in helium, chew some gum yourself, stick the teeth into the gum and blow a helium ball which floats out the window...

Monkey Island 2: Behind a waterfall is a secret passage (because of course there is). But how do you get there? Above the waterfall is a valve which controls the waterfall. Error in translation! You go to a bar, entice a monkey pianist to follow the banana you have and use him as a literal monkey wrench on the valve. That was not very easy when you were 12 and didn't live in an English-speaking country. And even if you did, it better have been a place where the term was in common use.
Alright, I guess it’s just one of those things where you needed to have grown up with the genre to properly appreciate it. I can’t really see myself enjoying this kind of gameplay at all. Are you supposed to just try every item everywhere to see if it works? I don’t even know how people would have figured this stuff out if not for trial and error.
 
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Alright, I guess it’s just one of those things where you needed to have grown up with the genre to properly appreciate it. I can’t really see myself enjoying this kind of gameplay at all. Are you supposed to just try every item everywhere to see if it works? I don’t even know how people would have figured this stuff out if not for trial and error.

Yeah, it's hard to explain if you weren't there. You have to understand that gaming wasn't anywhere as big as it is now, so a lot of it was people making due. 99% of Adventure games, if released today, would be fucking crucified for the types of shit they pulled.

Some of them were fucking great games if you understood the logic but there was a lot of really shitty ideas running rampant back then.
 
Alright, I guess it’s just one of those things where you needed to have grown up with the genre to properly appreciate it. I can’t really see myself enjoying this kind of gameplay at all. Are you supposed to just try every item everywhere to see if it works? I don’t even know how people would have figured this stuff out if not for trial and error.

Sometimes you would end up rubbing things against each other to see if something happens, but most of the time its not that. If you have not played adventure games, would like to try and have fifteen minutes try 9:05 by Adam Cadre. It really messed me up the first time I played it. And do play it a second time, would you?

 
Block puzzles are king shit in my book.

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Chocobo racing in FF-VII, the "Rich Get Richer" rune trial in 2016's Doom, the Orphan of Kos while playing an arcane focused character in Bloodborne (took me hours to beat it as arcane focused, beat him the first try as a dex build with the Rakuyo). The Orphan of Kos drops the best weapon for an arcane build, so he's just a big "fuck you" to min/maxers. The nerfs in Diablo 3. Building out an extremely calculated build for a character, and Blizzard will just nerf the skills making all the time invested go up in smoke.

Fuck you, Blizzard. May you continue to lose fans over your bullshit.

Honorary mention, the "secret" dragon boss in the final Dark Souls 3 DLC. That one took me many hours.
 
In TF2 I really can't stand "friendlies" or how people lose their shit when you shoot them if they're being a "friendly". Trade servers,fine whatever,but on normal servers people can fuck off with the friendly stuff.
Just shoot them anyway. As long as you're not in a majority friendly server, nothing will happen.
 
It’s pretty much impossible to play melee Zer0 solo in Borderlands 2. He’s so incredibly squishy and doesn’t actually unlock useful skills until pretty late in the melee skill tree. Early-game, his action skill is really only useful for running away - it’s unusable in mob scenarios because you’ll just get swarmed by the rest of the mob after dispatching one or two guys, and it’s REALLY unusable against bosses because good luck getting close enough to activate the ability without dying, and getting away safely afterwards. BL2 is not exactly a difficult game, but melee Zer0 just makes the first half a total slog.

You can’t sell Zer0 as this badass ninja assassin but then make him impossible to play as a badass ninja assassin without playing the first half of the game as a boring ol’ sniper. The worst part is there’s a super easy solution to this that would make early-game melee at least somewhat viable: just give him HP steam through melee attacks as a level 1 perk. God knows he needs it way more than Maya, who’s already pretty overpowered even without that.
 
It’s pretty much impossible to play melee Zer0 solo in Borderlands 2. He’s so incredibly squishy and doesn’t actually unlock useful skills until pretty late in the melee skill tree. Early-game, his action skill is really only useful for running away - it’s unusable in mob scenarios because you’ll just get swarmed by the rest of the mob after dispatching one or two guys, and it’s REALLY unusable against bosses because good luck getting close enough to activate the ability without dying, and getting away safely afterwards. BL2 is not exactly a difficult game, but melee Zer0 just makes the first half a total slog.

You can’t sell Zer0 as this badass ninja assassin but then make him impossible to play as a badass ninja assassin without playing the first half of the game as a boring ol’ sniper. The worst part is there’s a super easy solution to this that would make early-game melee at least somewhat viable: just give him HP steam through melee attacks as a level 1 perk. God knows he needs it way more than Maya, who’s already pretty overpowered even without that.
Isnt Gaige's action skill, the giant robot thing basically useless once you hit true vault hunter and onwards, it just dies instantly and doesnt do anywhere close to enough damage to kill anything.
 
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It’s pretty much impossible to play melee Zer0 solo in Borderlands 2. He’s so incredibly squishy and doesn’t actually unlock useful skills until pretty late in the melee skill tree. Early-game, his action skill is really only useful for running away - it’s unusable in mob scenarios because you’ll just get swarmed by the rest of the mob after dispatching one or two guys, and it’s REALLY unusable against bosses because good luck getting close enough to activate the ability without dying, and getting away safely afterwards. BL2 is not exactly a difficult game, but melee Zer0 just makes the first half a total slog.

You can’t sell Zer0 as this badass ninja assassin but then make him impossible to play as a badass ninja assassin without playing the first half of the game as a boring ol’ sniper. The worst part is there’s a super easy solution to this that would make early-game melee at least somewhat viable: just give him HP steam through melee attacks as a level 1 perk. God knows he needs it way more than Maya, who’s already pretty overpowered even without that.
Another point is that enemies have so much health and health regeneration on True/Ultimate Vault Hunter Mode that melee damage won't scale as well unless you slag them first. Same goes for elemental damage, their health regeneration will outpace that damage if they're not slagged.

Thankfully, the Pre-Sequel does away with health regeneration, so melee and elemental builds are far more viable there.
 
In Monster Hunter GU I was hunting a hyper barroth with a group when just as I rolled to avoid his charge attack, I got hit by an off screen water shot by a sand fish and back into the charge which cost me a life.
 
It’s pretty much impossible to play melee Zer0 solo in Borderlands 2. He’s so incredibly squishy and doesn’t actually unlock useful skills until pretty late in the melee skill tree. Early-game, his action skill is really only useful for running away - it’s unusable in mob scenarios because you’ll just get swarmed by the rest of the mob after dispatching one or two guys, and it’s REALLY unusable against bosses because good luck getting close enough to activate the ability without dying, and getting away safely afterwards. BL2 is not exactly a difficult game, but melee Zer0 just makes the first half a total slog.

You can’t sell Zer0 as this badass ninja assassin but then make him impossible to play as a badass ninja assassin without playing the first half of the game as a boring ol’ sniper. The worst part is there’s a super easy solution to this that would make early-game melee at least somewhat viable: just give him HP steam through melee attacks as a level 1 perk. God knows he needs it way more than Maya, who’s already pretty overpowered even without that.
What I hated about Borderlands 2 is how every mission goes.
>"Go to x"
>"Wait, x is blocked! You have to do y first"
>"Enemies sabotaged y, go talk to z"
>"z got kidnapped! Go to the enemy base he's held hostage"
Like holy shit, I have other things to do.
 
What I hated about Borderlands 2 is how every mission goes.
>"Go to x"
>"Wait, x is blocked! You have to do y first"
>"Enemies sabotaged y, go talk to z"
>"z got kidnapped! Go to the enemy base he's held hostage"
Like holy shit, I have other things to do.
on the topic of bullshit quests, FUCK the timed delivery quests.
 
The Hoverboard race in the original Ratchet and Clank.
Also Ice Cream Beat in Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep. When playing through Ventus' story, I end up dreading going to Disney Town because of it. Rumble Race? Fine. Fruitball? Actually my favorite of the three.
 
Meh, the controls were sorta clunky but it was pretty short and didn't require extreme precision. The final boss fucking sucked, though.
Yeah, understandable. It's a fun game, but the controls can be weird at times. I was just never able to really get a handle on the controls when it came to the hoverboard race. On the topic of Playstation 2 games, though, I also hate clearing the dark plants mission in the Precursor Basin in the first Jak and Daxter. I love the game to bits, but man, I couldn't handle that specific part, mostly because the Zoomer was so floaty that it felt like I was piloting a bumper car. Didn't feel any better in the PS3 HD remaster, either.
 
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