Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Grand Wizard Wakka]

Remasters now are excuses for developers to double down on nostalgia for profit. There's no originality anymore. I can understand games being "remastered" that are at least a decade old. Even so, modernize them to make them work with the advantages we have today.

I feel like its gonna be sooner than later that the yearly remasters of everything will just turn into straight yearly subscriptions for singleplayer offline games. You wont even have the option of just purchasing a game to own it. You'll only be able to get things on Gamepass or Nintendo Switch Online. And then it'll become like TV/movie streaming, and PC launchers, where instead of just the console streaming subscriptions, every developer and publisher is gonna have their own subscription service. Make sure to pay your monthly fee to play whatever Square Enix games, and your other monthly fee to play whatever Bethesda games, and an additional monthly fee to play Capcom games, etc. Fuck, eventually you wont even pay for a company's library, but a monthly access fee for individual singleplayer offline games with no option of just buying and owning them with unlimited access.

Resident Evil did remasters well. Or would they be remakes? I cannot tell the difference.

Remakes. RE2R is a totally new and different game, just based on RE2. Whereas TLOU Remaster is more resolution options or whatever.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Remakes. RE2R is a totally new and different game, just based on RE2. Whereas TLOU Remaster is more resolution options or whatever.

There was that remaster of REmake 1, which was definitely a remaster since it took the 2002 remake and bumped up the resolution and graphics options as well as added a more traditional control scheme.

RE1's releases are a fucking mess though since there are three different versions on the PS1 that differ massively in content such as the presence of autoaim, alternate difficulty modes, and even a new soundtrack. Those would probably classify as the kind of "remasters" @The Lawgiver was talking about.

 

[NerdShamer]

I feel like its gonna be sooner than later that the yearly remasters of everything will just turn into straight yearly subscriptions for singleplayer offline games. You wont even have the option of just purchasing a game to own it. You'll only be able to get things on Gamepass or Nintendo Switch Online. And then it'll become like TV/movie streaming, and PC launchers, where instead of just the console streaming subscriptions, every developer and publisher is gonna have their own subscription service. Make sure to pay your monthly fee to play whatever Square Enix games, and your other monthly fee to play whatever Bethesda games, and an additional monthly fee to play Capcom games, etc. Fuck, eventually you wont even pay for a company's library, but a monthly access fee for individual singleplayer offline games with no option of just buying and owning them with unlimited access.

And you know that people will be dense enough to support it out of brand loyalty. Besides, it's already happening with some games offering a monthly subscription just for getting more in-game rewards, and you actually need an subscription to play Warcraft (which has been going on for years).

 

[Cool Dog]

Been playing through some old Sonic games and levels set in space usually have this gimmick where you switch between going upside down and they always feel like an absolute slog to get through.

SA2? Because the level that does this has a trap or two where you can kill yourself if you pull the wrong switch and the final area stops holding your hand by having you walk through this collection of floating bricks while you're constantly changing the gravity.

It's more of an nuisance on account on how long it takes just to find the switch that you need to use that finishes the level.

Yip, sonic rush too, pretty sure the sonic advance games and the last stage of sonic & knuckles had it as well.

Sonic Mania may have had it but I might be getting mixed up with getting shrunk and having to change from the foreground to the background in levels. Gimmick levels and water levels are always a pain in the arse in sonic games.

Oh you had to trigger my autism did you?

The levels are crazy gadget for SA2 and death egg for S&K.

Can't believe these games are over 20 years old.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Oh you had to trigger my autism did you?

The levels are crazy gadget for SA2 and death egg for S&K.

Can't believe these games are over 20 years old.

Dead line in sonic rush too, I'm sure theres more

 

[Book Thief]

Leads in Minecraft are perhaps the most annoying thing in the game. You could be walking along, trying to navigate the world as you're herding your animals with leads. Then, you look back and notice that your leads are no-longer attached. Your animals are tens, if not hundreds of blocks behind you, and your leads are lost somewhere on the ground around them, possibly even despawned if it's been long enough. They all broke with no warning or indication that this would happen.

Some idiot up at Mojang thought this is a good mechanic. All it does is make herding animals much more of a hassle than necessary. I just want sheep in the Nether for beds, dammit!

 

[Korpon]

A bit of a minor thing, but I've been playing Company of Heroes 2 lately, and I noticed you can't rebind your keys in the game, keep in mind this is a PC game released in 2013. Not even the first COH allowed you to rebind keys either. What makes this especially annoying is to move the camera around, you use the arrow keys. Yet all the other hotkeys are clearly meant for the camera keys to be WASD, different unit's skills and abilites are things like Q,E,R,T, etc. The F1-5 keys are for selecting your base buildings, and holding Left Alt allows you to rotate the camera around, so why the hell they made the camera movement keys on the other side of the keyboard I have no idea. Only fix I know of for this is to use a third party program like AutoHotkey.

Second bit of bullshit is the game has a DLC singleplayer campaign called Ardennes Assault, which has 4 different companies you can use for it. Except they locked one of them, the Army Rangers, behind a paywall that costs 5 dollars, for a DLC that already costed 20 dollars. Yet they can't add a patch that lets you rebind keys, fuck off devs.

 

[Urbanmech]

A bit of a minor thing, but I've been playing Company of Heroes 2 lately, and I noticed you can't rebind your keys in the game, keep in mind this is a PC game released in 2013. Not even the first COH allowed you to rebind keys either. What makes this especially annoying is to move the camera around, you use the arrow keys. Yet all the other hotkeys are clearly meant for the camera keys to be WASD, different unit's skills and abilites are things like Q,E,R,T, etc. The F1-5 keys are for selecting your base buildings, and holding Left Alt allows you to rotate the camera around, so why the hell they made the camera movement keys on the other side of the keyboard I have no idea. Only fix I know of for this is to use a third party program like AutoHotkey.

Second bit of bullshit is the game has a DLC singleplayer campaign called Ardennes Assault, which has 4 different companies you can use for it. Except they locked one of them, the Army Rangers, behind a paywall that costs 5 dollars, for a DLC that already costed 20 dollars. Yet they can't add a patch that lets you rebind keys, fuck off devs.

didn't that game also have the commander's have a rarity rating and you could buy drops to get the better commanders or just play the game a lot?

 

[Bunny Tracks]

The fact that no one gives a shit that Madarame let Yusuke's mom die of a seizure in Persona 5.

Not even Yusuke himself cares, and in fact, he cares more about the art being plagiarized than his own mother dying and himself being orphaned.

What's even worse is that the game later goes on to call Madarame a good person even though he's literally guilty of negligent homicide.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

I've been recently searching for a good standalone N64 emulator and it brought back the bullshit that is TenEighty Snowboarding's trick system. You know how in Tony Hawk's games you just hold left or right in midair to make a character do an aerial spin? TenEighty is not one of those games:

This screenshot does not express how finicky this system is, and how difficult this is to pull off.

There are a lot of people on this site who either don't remember the N64 or didn't have one. I should point out that the analog stick looks like this:

If you want to imagine what it was like trying to twirl one of these things in a circle, imagine taking the corner of a plastic ruler and jamming it into the soft part of your thumb as hard as possible.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

There are a lot of people on this site who either don't remember the N64 or didn't have one. I should point out that the analog stick looks like this:

If you want to imagine what it was like trying to twirl one of these things in a circle, imagine taking the corner of a plastic ruler and jamming it into the soft part of your thumb as hard as possible.

N64 analog sticks in general are fucked. Because it's basically plastic grinding on more plastic, these things have a far more limited shelf life than the PS1 controller. Mine has a deadzone that takes up most of the pad so if I want my character to run at full speed I have to jam forward really hard. Not to mention, the sticks are needlessly sharp so if you are doing anything like spinning the stick or jamming it forward, that shit's gonna hurt after a while. There's a reason you needed gloves to play Mario Party 1.

You're really better off getting a replacement stick or at least one that doesn't physically hurt to play.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

The fact that no one gives a shit that Madarame let Yusuke's mom die of a seizure in Persona 5.

Not even Yusuke himself cares, and in fact, he cares more about the art being plagiarized than his own mother dying and himself being orphaned.

What's even worse is that the game later goes on to call Madarame a good person even though he's literally guilty of negligent homicide.

To be fair does anyone actually give a shit about Yusuke in the first place?

 

[The Last Stand]

I cannot recreate my dream woman in Forza Horizon.

Yet people are complaining about a VIDEO GAME "deadnaming" them or some bullshit.

 

[Mooger Meng]

There's a reason you needed gloves to play Mario Party 1

At least Nintendo realized "Hey, maybe we shouldn't encourage kids to get massive blisters on their palms" after the first one.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Probably I said it before and multiple people, but fuck walking slowly segments, and double fuck character interaction that can be cut by actually traveling to your destination.

 

[The Last Stand]

At least Nintendo realized "Hey, maybe we shouldn't encourage kids to get massive blisters on their palms" after the first one.

Now if only they improve the Switch's analog sticks.

 

[Overcast]

Ahh, I remember getting a blister in the palm of my hand from fighting Bowser in SM64.

Gooood times.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Reminds me of how hilariously fragile the old Atari 2600 controllers were. Very easy to shred one of those.

 

[Pig Boss]

Probably I said it before and multiple people, but fuck walking slowly segments, and double fuck character interaction that can be cut by actually traveling to your destination.

I would rather have a loading screen that those bullshit sections where your character walks at a slower pace and talks on the radio or has to squeeze through some rocks at a crawl. We all know that those are loading screens, it does nothing to change the immersion. Just slap up a loading screen with a fun in-game fact or a little interactive icon and then drop me back in the game when it's done loading. Making me hold up on the controller or W is just punishment. At least with a loading screen I can go and make myself a drink because I'm not chained to my controller/keyboard

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I would rather have a loading screen that those bullshit sections where your character walks at a slower pace and talks on the radio or has to squeeze through some rocks at a crawl. We all know that those are loading screens, it does nothing to change the immersion. Just slap up a loading screen with a fun in-game fact or a little interactive icon and then drop me back in the game when it's done loading. Making me hold up on the controller or W is just punishment. At least with a loading screen I can go and make myself a drink because I'm not chained to my controller/keyboard

It us sometimes that, but there are parts like in Mass Effect 3 where it's pretty much a cutscene but thinks letting the player have minimal interaction with the world makes it art