Biggest bullshit in a video game

[SavorySheikah]

Marble Zone in Sonic 1. Fuck Marble Zone. Fuck everything it stands for. It sucks. Most of Sonic 1 after Green Hill kinda sucks, actually, from a level design and pacing standpoint. Maybe that's the reason why Green Hill is recycled so often in Sonic games; the rest of Sonic 1 is so mediocre that the first level of that game is the only thing fans have nostalgia towards.

The first battle against Sniper Wolf in MGS1. I played through that game using a controller that lacked analogue sticks and Christ on a bike, trying to precisely aim a sniper rifle with nothing but a d-pad is fucking horrible.

Returning to the original Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, especially after the recent reboot. Without manuals, reverts, and pretty much every other major gameplay improvement added in during the latter years of the franchise, the og THPS feels so empty, and you can barely keep up a half decent combo line. God, that game aged like milk.

The fact that Plok doesn't have any form of save system, not even a password system because boy howdy does that game have a steep difficulty curve. That means that if you lose all of your lives, you have to start from the beginning of the game, which is extra bullshit if you get a game over in the later levels.

Also, cutscenes with quick-time events in them. Bonus bullshit points if the game doesn't give you button cues so you know which button to press to prevent you from failing whatever quest you're doing.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Marble Zone in Sonic 1. Fuck Marble Zone. Fuck everything it stands for. It sucks. Most of Sonic 1 after Green Hill kinda sucks, actually, from a level design and pacing standpoint. Maybe that's the reason why Green Hill is recycled so often in Sonic games; the rest of Sonic 1 is so mediocre that the first level of that game is the only thing fans have nostalgia towards.

The problem with the rest of Sonic 1 is that the fun stages are way too short because you're going so fast while the boring stages like Marble Zone and Labyrinth Zone take much longer to complete. I personally enjoy Springyard and Starlight Zones, but with how fast you can finish them it's honestly not worth it when you have to suffer through Marble and Labyrinth just to get to them. The payoff just isn't worth it.

 

[Shining Wit]

Football Manager is a broken to hell game that will never be fixed because Sports Interactive are basically the western Game Freak. Despite this it remains addicting, especially when the database of real people runs out as they all retire and you get the monstrosities of bald 16 year olds with full beards coming out of academies

One thing that does make me seethe eternally is a phenomena I call 'january'. No matter what, the january period of the season is where your entire team forgets to play and your charge towards an invincible season crumbles pathetically at the hands of some shitters like Crystal Palace, even if a few weeks ago you'd scored 5 at Camp Nou
In the actual game mechanics, its because if your season was going well, the other clubs begin to play extra defensive against you, frustrating your current tactics
My example this season was a doozy. Over a month without conceding a goal, I lose to a mid table championship team in injury time. When was the match? Right at the start of January

 

[Furret]

Marble Zone in Sonic 1. Fuck Marble Zone. Fuck everything it stands for. It sucks. Most of Sonic 1 after Green Hill kinda sucks, actually, from a level design and pacing standpoint. Maybe that's the reason why Green Hill is recycled so often in Sonic games; the rest of Sonic 1 is so mediocre that the first level of that game is the only thing fans have nostalgia towards.

It's been a long time since I last played a Sonic game, but I don't remember Marble Zone being that awful. There's a few slow points, but nothing I found unbearable. It is a little annoying that there's almost never a chance to run at full speed for an extended period though.

 

[SavorySheikah]

It's been a long time since I last played a Sonic game, but I don't remember Marble Zone being that awful. There's a few slow points, but nothing I found unbearable. It is a little annoying that there's almost never a chance to run at full speed for an extended period though.

Personally, I don't think that Marble Zone is a bad stage. It's the sudden shift from fluid and constant speed in Green Hill to the slow and time-consuming platforming in Marble Zone that's bullshit. For me it's not worth going through the boring-as-all-get-up drabfest of Marble Zone to get to Spring Yard Zone. At least later Sonic games improve on the pacing issues though.

 

[Overcast]

Returning to the original Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, especially after the recent reboot. Without manuals, reverts, and pretty much every other major gameplay improvement added in during the latter years of the franchise, the og THPS feels so empty, and you can barely keep up a half decent combo line. God, that game aged like milk.

That soundtrack is fucking amazing though.

Man, those Tony Hawk games were something else.

 

[Furret]

Personally, I don't think that Marble Zone is a bad stage. It's the sudden shift from fluid and constant speed in Green Hill to the slow and time-consuming platforming in Marble Zone that's bullshit. For me it's not worth going through the boring-as-all-get-up drabfest of Marble Zone to get to Spring Yard Zone. At least later Sonic games improve on the pacing issues though.

Sonic 1's pacing used to be worse, or so I've heard. I have no idea where I heard this, and it could be wrong, but I remember hearing that it was originally going to go from Green Hill directly to Labyrinth.

 

[SavorySheikah]

That soundtrack is fucking amazing though.

Man, those Tony Hawk games were something else.

Truth. Those soundtracks will never get old.

On a side note, there's a particularly bullshitty mechanic in JRPGs where you can't control your allies (i.e. you control your player while your party members are A.I.-controlled.) Miitopia is one game with this issue, which can be a real problem sometimes because your party members will make decisions that will set your party back, like wasting all of their HP bananas to heal before using the healing magic that is readily at their fucking disposal . I would tend to have more MP Candies than HP Bananas because of this issue.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Sonic 1's pacing used to be worse, or so I've heard. I have no idea where I heard this, and it could be wrong, but I remember hearing that it was originally going to go from Green Hill directly to Labyrinth.

That's correct. The developers realized that going from Green Hill to Labyrinth was too much of a difficulty spike that early in the game so they decided to place it at a later point. Much as I don't like Labyrinth, placing it near the end of the game was a smart move.

 

[Furret]

On a side note, there's a particularly bullshitty mechanic in JRPGs where you can't control your allies (i.e. you control your player while your party members are A.I.-controlled.) Miitopia is one game with this issue, which can be a real problem sometimes because your party members will make decisions that will set your party back, like wasting all of their HP bananas to heal before using the healing magic that is readily at their fucking disposal . I would tend to have more MP Candies than HP Bananas because of this issue.

I've actually seen this implemented well, in the Sonny games. The AI's actually competent, and you have a form of semi-control over them because you can tell them to fight offensively or defensively depending on the situation. It's an interesting little gimmick that adds a bit more depth to battles without feeling like bullshit.

 

[KokoroKoroki]

On a side note, there's a particularly bullshitty mechanic in JRPGs where you can't control your allies (i.e. you control your player while your party members are A.I.-controlled.) Miitopia is one game with this issue, which can be a real problem sometimes because your party members will make decisions that will set your party back, like wasting all of their HP bananas to heal before using the healing magic that is readily at their fucking disposal . I would tend to have more MP Candies than HP Bananas because of this issue.

Pointing out the obvious but Persona 3 is undoubtedly the most famous example of this.

Doesn't matter what you tell them to do sometimes, even if you tell them to go full assault they'll still heal at inappropriate times and attack enemies with elements they're resistant or flat out immune to. And by heal, I mean using medicine which only heal about 50HP when your max HP is around 500.

It got so bad that memes were made of one party member in particular, Mitsuru, who would always spam a status move on an enemy even if they are immune to said ailment or are even a boss fight (who nullify all ailments by default) and would much rather do that than heal the player character at critical health where a game over happens if he gets knocked out.

Thankfully, they fixed it on the PSP re-release of the game so you can control them directly, saves a lot of unnecessary frustration.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

It got so bad that memes were made of one party member in particular, Mitsuru, who would always spam a status move on an enemy even if they are immune to said ailment or are even a boss fight (who nullify all ailments by default) and would much rather do that than heal the player character at critical health where a game over happens if he gets knocked out.

Not just that, but it's not uncommon for an enemy to be nearly dead and weak to ice (the element that she uses) only for her to waste SP trying to charm it. JUST FUCKING KILL IT.

 

[Reverend]

Bought FF7 when it first came out. The last disc on FF7 that takes you to the last boss' lair is notoriously corrupt/broken/bad. Playing for 100 hours grinding out a FF to get to the last tower for a corrupt disc to completely shit up the end.

I've never replayed that game again.

Fuck Sony and Square

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Football Manager is a broken to hell game that will never be fixed because Sports Interactive are basically the western Game Freak. Despite this it remains addicting,

The Football Manager fans can be a special kind of fanatic. FM is a healthier brain disease than anime but they're both pretty severe in how seriously they affect people.

 

[Shining Wit]

The Football Manager fans can be a special kind of fanatic. FM is a healthier brain disease than anime but they're both pretty severe in how seriously they affect people.
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To give the worst FM addicts their due, they can blend in in public, which can't be said for the hardest weebs

 

[SkunkFeet]

A personal one that isn't as common is fights that are "unwinnable", but actually aren't but winning just leads to the same damn cutscene with no reward. Either make the fight a cutscene or give the player some sort of acknowledgement to their skill if they win. DMC5 having a specific ending if you take out Urizen as Nero early on was dope.

Also, cutscenes with quick-time events in them. Bonus bullshit points if the game doesn't give you button cues so you know which button to press to prevent you from failing whatever quest you're doing.

Bayonetta on the PS3 had QTEs with tight timing on a pretty shit port, and failing the cutscenes impacted your final ranking pretty hard. Luckily the rest of the game is great.

 

[Furret]

A personal one that isn't as common is fights that are "unwinnable", but actually aren't but winning just leads to the same damn cutscene with no reward. Either make the fight a cutscene or give the player some sort of acknowledgement to their skill if they win. DMC5 having a specific ending if you take out Urizen as Nero early on was dope.

Demon's Souls is a good example of how to do this well IMO. You're supposed to die to the first boss for story reasons, but if you successfully win then the game rewards you with extra goodies before it kills you anyway. It's not a huge difference-maker, but it's nice that they reward experienced/skilled players for playing well at a time when they're expected to fuck up and die immediately.

 

[Quintex96]

Not sure if it has been said yet but I recently beat the Story mode in Dragon Ball Fighter Z

Fuck the Final boss

It forces you to use a character you only unlock like 2/3rds of the way through the story in a 1v1 fight (up until now you have been mainly doing 2v2 and 3v3) against an opponent that was 16 levels higher than I was at this point without the ability to use any of the perks I had unlocked at this point. Pure fucking bullshit, Fortunately I added Android 21 to my team as soon as I unlocked her so I knew somewhat how to fight as her but it is a cheap fucking move to lock you out of using your mains because plot.
Oh and because of the level difference and damage advantages that come with it, the final bosses ultimate attack can OHKO you. Such fun.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Not having options for subtitles. Hearing's fine, just hate waiting for the voice actor to finish their lines.

 

[Jeffrey Epstein]

Tom Nook.