Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Xenomorph]

For many people younger than Bam, Tokio Hotel was the band that made them realize they weren’t going to be hip forever and their favorite bands were eventually going to look like this scene in the Simpsons:
View attachment 5088604

Bam was 27, and a 27 year old former alt kid in 2007 would’ve already experienced this with MCR and even Linkin Park.

What’s next? A skate sesh with Dahvie Vanity? Sucking a log of shit out of Andy Sixx’s Log Chute?

I just had PTSD from log posting.

 

[booklover]

It's surrounded by several high drug and nigger populated areas. The type of places where you can get a ticket for being white (loitering in a known drug area). A decade+ ago when they were relevant and partying in bams McMansion they infamously regularly recruited strippers and sluts from philadelphia and atlantic city nightclubs/casinos to show up with their gaggle of whore friends to get wasted and fuck. So there was a steady stream of whores, drug dealers, and hanger-ons.

And the dope and gang issues would dry up and blow away if all those rich white people didn't go there to buy drugs.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

He's been on the lam for what, 3 days now? How have they not caught him lol. He will be in someone's basement high as shit right now paranoid as fuck refusing to come out. Imagine how high he will be right now. Probably hallucinating Ryan Dunn telling him to be an earth rocker.

They're not going to comb the countryside for him because he slapped his brother around and mumbled some threats during a meth binge. Literally all he has to do to avoid getting caught is not make enough of a spectacle of himself in public for the police to be called, and he will definitely do that in the near future.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

Imagine if the reason why Bam hasn't been seen in a few days is because he checked himself into a rehab facility

 

[Geoffrey Leonard]

The downfall of Bam Margera season 2 is upon us already?

What a fucking lowlife.

 

[WilsonOfPrussia]

I recall the Margera family before Bam lived next door to a power plant maybe it messed with there DNA.

Three mile island. I lived near it too growing up. Dunn crashed his car about 40 minutes from my home.

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

Imagine if the reason why Bam hasn't been seen in a few days is because he checked himself into a rehab facility

If that was a bet in Vegas, putting ten bucks on it would make you a millionaire if it paid out.

 

[Law]

One good character trait when it comes Bam is that the guy does support what he loved.

I didn't know anything about HIM before this thread and I love how their drummer is a chunky bald dude. Just this schlubby guy tearing up the drums while Finland swoons over sexy Ville.

You really think 500-1,000 people will pay $50 for a photo with a woman they jerked off to in one movie scene 25 years ago?

Sure. They'll pay that much for a Twitch streamer to ignore them.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

They're not going to comb the countryside for him because he slapped his brother around and mumbled some threats during a meth binge.

I agree from a legal perspective he's not high priority, but given his mental state I'm surprised this isn't a missing person issue. Maybe that has to be done by the family and they haven't yet. But given that his gf's child might be with them, it seems like there should be more interest in finding his whereabouts asap.

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

I agree from a legal perspective he's not high priority, but given his mental state I'm surprised this isn't a missing person issue. Maybe that has to be done by the family and they haven't yet. But given that his gf's child might be with them, it seems like there should be more interest in finding his whereabouts asap.

I think you overestimate how much the cops will look into a missing person case like this. From their point of view it's just one fat druggie who ran off while being crazy, not something where there's a suspicion of foul play. That kind of missing person slips through the cracks all the time.

 

[Funeral for a Furry]

Three mile island. I lived near it too growing up. Dunn crashed his car about 40 minutes from my home.

I heard on a creepy pasture board that Bam tried find out who wrote a creepy pasture of a guy seeung Dunn ghost at the crash sight.
Sounds to good to be true.

 

[WilsonOfPrussia]

West Chester is almost an hour away from most parts of Philly you fucking rube.

It's literally half way between Kensington (Philly drug market) and Lancaster (Amish people)

Can confirm as someone who grew up in PA. More like two hours away.

It's surrounded by several high drug and nigger populated areas. The type of places where you can get a ticket for being white (loitering in a known drug area). A decade+ ago when they were relevant and partying in bams McMansion they infamously regularly recruited strippers and sluts from philadelphia and atlantic city nightclubs/casinos to show up with their gaggle of whore friends to get wasted and fuck. So there was a steady stream of whores, drug dealers, and hanger-ons.

What? It's like 90% boonies

 

[Drain Todger]

View attachment 5087714
Paul Walker was definitely alive before the car burst into flames. He crashed right in front of a nice restaurant and people were eating brunch. They saw him trying to drag himself out before his Porsche exploded.


Dunn probably didn't feel much though. He was pretty drunk and didn't skid over anything before impact. Walker jumped a curb which slowed the car down enough to make the initial crash survivable, but not the ensuing inferno.

Those Carrera GTs are a deathtrap. Basically a human barbecue. The gas tank is molded into the back of the seats to put the CG right over the center of the car. All that fuel is right behind your ass, so if it ruptures, you're fucked.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

I recall the Margera family before Bam lived next door to a power plant maybe it messed with there DNA.

i remember either phil or april talking about that on one of bams shows they called it the margera curse. because for some reason most of the margeras are fucked up in some way. i think they said they even lived directly under the power lines as well.

He's been on the lam for what, 3 days now? How have they not caught him lol. He will be in someone's basement high as shit right now paranoid as fuck refusing to come out. Imagine how high he will be right now. Probably hallucinating Ryan Dunn telling him to be an earth rocker.

if i had to guess he is most likely hiding somewhere and having his gf or whoever bring him stuff since she is not gonna stick out as much as bam. but if bams fucked up on meth now then he will most likely venture out on his own when the cravings set in.

that or he is dead in the woods somewhere. from what his brother has been saying bam was yelling at invisible people and shit so he was super fucked up and when people get that bad they can just vanish for years and nobody will notice. bam could come back tomorrow or years from now with face tattoo looking and sounding like don vito.

 

[BikeLock]

Don't forget the matching crotch tattoos-

View attachment 5089272

That's so fuckin' gay.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Those Carrera GTs are a deathtrap. Basically a human barbecue. The gas tank is molded into the back of the seats to put the CG right over the center of the car. All that fuel is right behind your ass, so if it ruptures, you're fucked.
View attachment 5090811View attachment 5090813

Oh wow it’s almost like it’s not a good idea to crash a car hard enough to rupture the gas tank

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

His asshole boomer parents deserve all the grief they get from the monster they created.

Bam Margera ‘just needs to settle down and get it straight,’ his mother says as search continues

“We all love him so much, and we just want to help him, and we are not against him,” April Margera told Fox News. “We just want to try to get him help.”

www.inquirer.com

This nigger is fucking 43 and is such a druggie, he fucked up his relationship with his son to go on a bender on the daily. They're acting like he's a in his mid to late 20s and he's just had a bad couple of years or somethng like that. What the actual fuck? Stop enabling this stupid has-been bastard.

 

[Russell Coight]

Something tells me Bam won't be making this convention.

He will. The Simpsons predicted it.

 

[NyQuilninja]

@Terfatron If you copy all the actions of a celebrity you're obsessed with, it's not a celebrity's fault. It's yours.

Edit: The USA's high drinking age strikes again - first time day drinking at 24? That's too much of a shock to the system, of course he couldn't handle it. You people need a more rational system for drinking ages. Even just copying Canada's 18/19 for all types of alcohol would cut down on all the amateur antics of your drunks. Would decrease drunk driving as well.

You should visit the midwest every restaurant is a family bar and outdoor events are an excuse for public drinking

 

[innocent jogger]

It always amuses me when the publicity photo is old as hell but I certainly can't blame Bam for not getting new photos.

And that reminds me out of morbid curiosity I did watch like a half hour of Haggard which is free on YouTube and I have to give props to Bam for an independent comedy it is surprisingly entertaining. Don't get me wrong it's no hidden gem but when it comes to indie star vehicles I'd say it's remarkably good. It allegedly was made on a half million dollar budget and it was filmed competently and that Bam directed and edited the movie during the golden years of Jackass is amazing. Also it makes me understand why Bam had such high regard for Ryan Dunn beyond homolust, Dunn was a good actor and delivers a solid performance. The worst actor in the whole movie is Bam who couldn't emote written lines to save his life.

Had Bam transitioned to behind the camera he wouldn't be hiding right now possibly with Rob Swavely. At the very least he'd probably have a lucrative business as a music video director.

Fun Fact: In Haggard Bam's character is named Valo ala Ville Valo.
Fun Fact 2: That advertisement doesn't mention Haggard's spiritual sequel Minghags, which has to be unwatchable judging from the trailer.

Haggard is competently done and just plain dumb fun. It even has a cameo by Tony Hawk playing a cop. I still give it a watch about once a year. I could never get through more than maybe 5 minutes of Minghags. Maybe I have missed something but it seems terrible.

Off topic (slightly) I did come across a short indie film made by Raab and Dico in 2008 which is pretty decent on all levels. It's called Hotdog Casserole.