Horrorcow Bryan Johnson / Don't Die movement - How far would you go to live forever?

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Many billionaires are individually pouring hundred millions of dollars into anti-aging research and privately doing pretty much what Bryan does, minus the autism, erection monitoring and blood swapping with his son and "personal involvement" into figuring out his insane regimen. Well, we can't possibly know what they're doing, it might be much worse. Scum like Ellison is the first one that comes to mind, but there's also Thiel, the two Jewgle fags, Bezos and a bunch more. The average person shouldn't bother trying to replicate what he's doing and publishing online minus what common sense would suggest already, but some awareness that this is something that's a very important subject to some people isn't too bad. Some may remember Aubrey de Grey, he used to fill this role for a long time until he got #MeToo'd and kicked out of his own foundation some time ago.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Kitty kitty cat, Almond Milk 842, Sneaky khajiit and 7 others
bradburyzippy said:
Look at his blood test. Assuming he is not faking it, which is a huge if because he sells shit. This is huge and everyone should look more into what he does to slow down his aging so much.
Click to expand...
Nigga, his temperature is 93.4 F according to the picture OP provided. That is not normal and not healthy. Anything lower than 96 F is a medical emergency.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Falcon Sebben, lolcow yoghurt, three_little_rats and 17 others
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: lolcow yoghurt, Prune Tracy, AmateurComedicTaxidermist and 8 others
Brian needs to take his colloidal silver supplements (nasal spray, mouthwash with cinnamon). Fluoride needs to go stat. Stop brushing teeth with dangerous toothpaste. I have a guy selling tooth salt with NEEM in it. Stop all intake of glyphosates and soybeans, as they have phytoestrogens in it. Regular estrogen is ok, in fact, it's more manly if you dose yourself with bioidentical estrogen.


I myself have been refusing to release my semen. I purposefully eat cheese before bed to induce nightmares instead of the dreaded sexual dream. But that isn't enough. I pay a sperm clinic $500,000 every month so that I can drink a single cup of semen every day, spaced out between my 4 daily meals.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Stupid Sexy Flanders, Pedophobe, lolcow yoghurt and 12 others
In a Q and A on his channel he mentions having had extensive measurements taken of his anus but I haven't been able to find any more information on the how, why, and results of these measurements/tests. It wasn't mentioned in the documentary either. Anyone have any information on his anal stats and what they were for?
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Horrifying
  • Feels
Reactions: Pedophobe, AmateurComedicTaxidermist, Hongourable Madisha and 9 others
Hey Johnny Bravo said:
As far as I know, the documents he provides are all self-reported and are not verified by a third party. Showing documents =/= transparency if it's all self-reporting. People can lie.
Click to expand...
I'd wonder about his 'assistants' in the documentary since when he's running through his routine there's a handful of them visible doing measurements and such. If he's faking in some way I expect a very funny expose post from one of them in the next few years. Hell, even if he isn't I expect one of them to spill something really funny eventually.

hotcheetospuffs said:
Anyone have any information on his anal stats and what they were for?
Click to expand...
He needs to know if he's dummy thicc so he can account for the clap of his asscheeks disrupting the measurements.

bradburyzippy said:
Look at his blood test. Assuming he is not faking it, which is a huge if because he sells shit. This is huge and everyone should look more into what he does to slow down his aging so much.
Click to expand...
It's probably just the extremes of diet and exercise. Athletes who do endurance sports wind up with crazy numbers like those (complete with body temp dropping, but less than a degree, nowhere near his insanity). What strikes me as odd is being able to get to that level of 'fitness' while not breaking 1000 on the leg press. I'm sure he has some explanation for weight training outside the subset he does being 'suboptimal'.
 
  • Like
  • DRINK!
  • Agree
Reactions: Nazi Catboi, Hongourable Madisha, Squawking Macaw and 3 others
grand larsony said:
In probably Bryan's best-known stunt in pursuit of a longer life, Bryan and his family decided to trade blood plasma. In 2023, Bryan, his father Richard, and his son Talmage flew out to Dallas to have their blood drawn, separated into plasma, and then passed up a generation. Bryan's blood plasma was injected into Richard, and Talmage's blood plasma was injected into Bryan. The hope was that the effects of this would mimic some research that had been done on mice, indicating that blood plasma transfusions may help reverse the effects of aging if done in this manner. While this sounds sort of nice, like Bryan is doing this to help his elderly father live longer, it's somewhat overshadowed by the fact that Bryan's son was asked to sacrifice some of his vitality to help his father pursue this obsession. Apparently, Bryan is content with donating some of his plasma to his father, but without some even younger plasma to replace it, this deal is not worthwhile to him.
Sometimes I find myself wondering whether it's all just goofy conspiracy theories, the stuff people say about the elites being obsessed with young blood, but here Bryan is, proudly displaying his literal vampirism.
Click to expand...
Fun fact, this procedure is called parabiosis and it was discovered by New York scientist Wanda Ruth Lunsford in 1960 where she grafted two rats together by their skin and she noticed the older rat get younger as a result of sharing blood with the younger rat. The paper she published about it was her only paper as she was laughed off by the scientific community for engaging in a Frankenstein project. Research on her discovery has been reignited back in 2016 by Harvard and Stanford. They found that the proteins transmitted by the blood transfusion reactivate dormant stem cells in older specimens, which promotes healing and neuron growth.


Truly, these are thrilling times.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Kitty kitty cat, Sneaky khajiit, Pedophobe and 14 others
I wonder how many of the doctors he consults are scamming him. How did a doctor conceive the idea of selling a CBT BDSM electrostimulation toy as a medical device to him with a protocol and everything? Is he that obsessed with his cock? On the topic of his weird fixations, does he feel sexually attracted to himself? Is his obsession with his son rooted in this desire?
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Pedophobe, fuckault, three_little_rats and 11 others
MarvinTheParanoidAndroid said:
Death is scary, nigger. Have you tried it?
Click to expand...
My grandmother died and came back once - her heart stopped and everything. She said it was the best thing ever. Went to a beautiful garden and hung out with Jesus for a while before deciding to come back and her heart restarted on its own. Apparently, dying is pretty great.
 
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
  • Like
Reactions: Pedophobe, lolcow yoghurt, three_little_rats and 9 others
grand larsony:
he decided that both he and his son ought to track their nighttime erections together using an electronic monitoring device
Click to expand...
2LtMashengo said:
I think the homoeroticism is very intentional. He has some sort of pride attached to his son's nighttime boner data.
Click to expand...

f58.png

Stumbling upon this thread today is the strangest case of synchronicity for me, as I was discussing earlier today with a colleague about the necessity to learn how to age gracefully.
Bryan Johnson wasn't named explicitly in the discussion, but I immediately thought of him when describing certain people who try to look much younger than they do, and instead end up in the proverbial uncanny valley of artificial-looking humanoids.
Stunning to see how this man has routinely made himself look progressively worse over time; instead of accepting to be a healthy elder with a few wrinkles and grey hairs, he now looks like a troon in remission.

I'm certain that, in his mind, this man sees himself as some cavia of a grand experiment for the betterment of mankind at large, I personally just don't see that kind of philosophy behind it.
it's just a very strange, very egocentric exercise he's putting out there, with him at the forefront.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Pedophobe, Coo Coo Bird, Dang dirty Pidgeons! and 11 others
Spider-Man wasn't supposed to be a documentary.

 
  • Like
Reactions: Pedophobe and Vecr
He looks like a 50 year old woman trying to pass as a 30 year old woman.

Those health metrics should set off alarm bells because irrelevant data presented in irrelevant contexts is one of the basic features of a woo scam. He's probably selling things that make him look so "young" and "healthy".

Fasting glucose level? lol that goes up and down based on what you ate for dinner. Its only relevant when tested across a long period and corelated with diet. Same for Insulin.

Uric Acid? Top 1%? Nigger too much of it and it feels like your joints are falling off and too little and you'll probably get Alzhimer's or Parkinsons (https://www.arthritis.org/diseases/more-about/high-low-uric-acid-symptoms-how-stay-in-safe-range). Also depends on your level of physical activity and exercise.

Top !% sleeping boner rate? You just know he put it on there to get asked when was the last time he jacked off. Also doesn't mention how long he sleeps.

Blood pressure: literally useless as a single sample metric. Varies based on physical activity, stress and diet.

Top 0.1% in body temperature: I'm at a loss for words.

Speed of aging: define speed and define aging. Mentally aging? Physically? What are the indicators? Toenail growth?

Top 1% Sleep: at least he's honest. Most people with jobs or families cannot afford this.

And that's just from 5mins of raging at a search engine.

/MATI

Should've gone to scam school, I didn't think people were this stupid.
 
  • Winner
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Coo Coo Bird, Male Feminist, Dr. Butt and 17 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back