Horrorcow Bryan Johnson / Don't Die movement - How far would you go to live forever?

[Bucephalus]

Born August 22nd, 1977 in Provo, Utah, Bryan grew up in a middle-class Mormon family. His parents divorced when he was young and he grew up with his mother and stepfather, with his father not being a part of his life as far as I can tell. He grew up doing farm, helping to harvest alfalfa and corn. In his teen years he became more involved in the church, becoming a Mormon missionary in Ecuador at 19. After returning from Ecuador, he went on to earn a BA in international studies from Brigham Young University in 2003, and then an MBA from University of Chicago Booth School of Business in 2007.

I was wondering why the hell he'd want to live forever if he's a Mormon, since they believe they get their own planet after they die. He says on this podcast starting at 07:39 that he left the LDS sometime after the end of his depressive phase, when he started breaking with reality:

 

[youngestniggaincharge]

I think this guy's main issue in regards to any aging is that he isn't getting enough penis shock wand therapy. He needs to at least triple the number of sessions if he's serious about being immortal

 

[neger psykolog]

I don't really have a problem with what Bryan is doing. Having listened to the stuff he has said in interviews, it seems that he really is just interested in medical science and has decided to have his body be used as a guinea pig for research purposes. Some of the stuff comes across as a little weird, but that is the whole point of experimentation.

I feel what people can't articulate when mocking Bryan is that what they are really annoyed at is the amount of media attention he buys for himself and how often he wants to be put out in the spotlight for everyone to see.

I appreciate the fact that he is candid and open about everything he is doing instead of hiding it away like its some super secret - that means it could potentially help other people and advance science.

For anyone not aware there is something tangentially similar which is called: The Enhanced Games. Which basically openly allows doping and experimental "performance enhancements". I've always wanted to watch a skinny African athlete do track & field shit and run a triathlon while hard lining rails of Adderall so I'm really curious to see how it goes:

https://www.enhanced.com/

He says on this podcast starting at 07:39 that he left the LDS sometime after the end of his depressive phase, when he started breaking with reality:

I wonder if he did ayahuasca? Google search is unclear but a lot of people seem to do it then go on wacky life adventures like this sort of shit.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

You should include the father son uh erection measuring contest that he recently had yeah it's funny all the people who live to be 110 years old they're all pretty normal people and just live normal lives.
Almost all 100% religious as well maybe atheists are doomed by God to have short lives or something.
Is the thing if you live every single moment being afraid of death you're not really living

 

[risbolla]

Props to him for focusing on his health, but I think he is tempting fate too much by inviting all this attention to his hobby. I tend to hear more stories of people who live for a long while in spite of their lifestyle rather than thanks to it. I am ready to wait 50 years for this guy to be outlived by a Nikocado returning to mukbang videos in a cruel twist of fate.

 

[Preacher ✝]

Only God can grant eternal life, not the vampiric nonsense.

Kill vampires. Behead vampires. Roundhouse kick a vampire into the concrete. Slam dunk a vampire baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy bloodsuckers. Defecate in a vampires food. Launch vampires into the sun. Stir fry vampires in a wok. Toss vampires into active volcanoes. Urinate into a vampires gas tank. Judo throw vampires into a wood chipper. Twist vampires heads off. Report vampires to the IRS. Karate chop vampires in half. Curb stomp pregnant vampires. Trap vampires in quicksand. Crush vampires in the trash compactor. Liquefy vampires in a vat of acid. Eat vampires. Dissect vampires. Exterminate vampires in the gas chamber. Stomp vampire skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate vampires in the oven. Lobotomize vampires. Mandatory abortions for vampires. Grind vampire fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown vampires in fried chicken grease. Vaporize vampires with a ray gun. Kick old vampires down the stairs. Feed vampires to alligators. Slice vampires with a katana. Put a bomb in a vampire's mouth. Throw knives at vampires. Inflate vampires until they pop. Send vampires into a blackhole. Castrate vampires. Feed vampires poisoned food. Force vampires to walk the plank. Push vampires into a pit. Kneel on a vampire's neck. Curse vampires with a spell. Stuff vampire babies into the washing machine and turn it on. Flatten vampires with a tank. Pop a vampire's car tire. Strike vampire children with a ruler. Make vampires swim in the Mariana Trench. Cut off a vampire's limbs. Airdrop vampires into Antarctica. Throw vampires off the boat. Pressurize vampires into fine crystals. Light fireworks in a vampire's ass. Falcon-punch a vampire in the face. Make vampires into fiction. Blow vampires heads off with grenade launchers. Blow vampires brains open with a sniper rifle. Lock vampires in a cage and drown them underwater. Nail vampires to a cross and stab them. Run over vampires with a tank feet-first. Crush vampires with a press. Attack vampires with acid. Boil vampires in a pan. Lock vampires inside a brazen bull. Burn vampires alive. Drag vampires across a wall of spikes. Pour molten lava on vampires. Quarter vampires. Impale vampires on a pike. Tenderize vampires with a mallet. Ionise vampires in a mass spectrometer. Irradiate vampires in a nuclear reactor. Spaghettify vampires in a black hole. Curse vampires with the necronomicon. Trap vampires in purgatory. Bang a vampires testicles with a spiked bat. Throw vampires off a twelve story building. Freeze dry vampires in the vacuum of space. Fry vampires with power lines. Feed vampires ricin. Kneecap a vampire with a twelve gauge. Re enslave vampires. Sell vampires organs on the black market. Run vampires over with an eighteen wheeler. Throw vampires into the grand canyon. Burn vampires with jet engine exhaust. Beat vampires to death with a tire iron. Cauterise a vampires asshole with a blowtorch. Sacrifice vampires to the sun god. Drop vampires out of a plane at fourty thousand feet. Feed vampires to sharks. Load a vampire into a cannon and shoot the vampire at a concrete wall. Keel Haul vampires under a galleon. Disembowel vampires with a bayonet. Strap a vampire to a cruise missile and launch it at a vampire neighbourhood. Drop vampires into chernobyl reactor building number 4. Hang, draw, and quarter vampires. Lure vampires in with fried chicken and trap them with bear traps. Force a vampire to learn calculus, then kill the vampire anyway. Atomize vampires with a powerfist. Throw vampires into vats full of FEV virus. Choke vampires with barbed wire. Throw pianos at vampires from 40-story buildings. Throw vampires at pianos from 40-story buildings. Deep-freeze vampires in liquid nitrogen then shatter them with a hammer. Tie vampires to ICBMs then fire them at Israel. Shoot vampires with syringe guns. Defecate on vampire food stamps. Make vampires pay child support in blood. Build a newton cannon and fire vampires into the orbit. Put advertisement posters on vampires then nail them to their bodies with a hammer. Irradiate vampires with depleted uranium. Launch a vampire with a trebuchet. Send a vampire exploring titanic in a cheap submarine. Use a vampire as a crash test dummy. Tie vampires onto growing bamboo shoots. Film an entire jackass movie on a vampire. Trample vampires. Bury vampires alive. Play bowling with vampires heads as pins. Grate vampires with a cheese grater. Get vampires stuck in an elevator. Spray a vampires toilet paper with poison ivy. Shoot a vampire directly with the Gustav gun. Sabotage a vampires parachute. Sabotage a vampires bungee. Trap a vampire under ice. Force a vampire to work and support a family of 5. Force vampires into gladiatorial combat. Send vampires back to warring African tribes. Hide a snake in a vampires room. Put vampires on a hot air balloon with low gas. Harvest a vampires organs. Waterboard vampires with gasoline, then set them on fire. Flay vampires. Tie vampires to train tracks. Put laxatives in their koolaid. Recreate mortal kombat fatalities on vampires. Gibbet vampires. Tie a lightning rod to a vampires head during a storm. Lure vampires into suicide pods. Bury vampires neck deep and surround them with scorpions. Clear a mine field by sending vampires to it. Stir vampires into cement. Squeeze vampires through a chain link fence. Hack vampires socials and make them say they have irrefutable evidence that would lead to Hillary's arrest. Perform adorcism on a vampire. Microwave a vampires head. Suck a vampire into pool drainage ass first. Pour nitroglycerin inside a vampires basketball. Inject ebola in its food. Put a chubby vampire in a tribe of cannibals. Pressure wash vampires pale skin. Play games with vampires jigsaw style. Trim a vampires nose hairs with a lawn mower. Strap a vampire to a wind turbine blade. Flatten a vampire in an industrial rolling machine. Turn a vampires bones into furniture. Make minced meat out of a vampire and serve nigga patties to other vampires. Feed a vampire viagra and put an activated sawblade in front of its dick. Disguise a thermally activated lightsaber as a vampires dildo. Stone vampires. Tranquilize vampires and put them in lion pits. Make a subhuman centipede from vampires. Throw a vampire down a well. Prescribe incorrect medication to vampires. Pimp-slap vampires into airplane turbines. Displace vampires in a predicted meteoroid contact area. Gift a vampire a lethal dose of fentanyl. Put dog collars on vampires at maximum voltage. Give vampires sentient brain parasites. Give vampires over to aliens in area 51 to be probed. Leave vampires out for vultures. Drive a vampire into a tornado with a remote controlled vehicle. Do freaky voodoo on a vampire. Strap vampires on a roller-coaster and use them as target practice. Strap vampires to a judas cradle. Blast vampires with Civil War cannons. Crucify filthy vampires. Whip vampires into obedience. Slingshot a vampire into orbit. Rocket vampires into the sun. Stir-fry vampires in a wok. Urinate into a vampire's gas tank. Judo throw vampires into the wood chipper. Unscrew a vampire's head off. Bake vampires into vampire-pizza. Arrest vampires for no reason. Electrocute vampires. Curb stomp pregnant vampires. Beat a vampire up. Slice a vampire up and wear their skin. Set vampires on fire. Spin vampires around until they puke. Tie vampires to a train track. Karate kick a vampire in the testicles. Stomp vampire skulls with steel-toed boots. Broil vampires into a broth. Deep fry vampires. Fourth-trimester abortions for vampires. Blend vampires in a blender. Snap a vampire's neck. Throw vampires off buildings. Send aliens to abduct vampires. Force vampires to ride the euthanasia coaster. Crush vampires with anvils. Throw vampires off of rooftops. Incinerate vampires. Starve vampires. Blow vampires up with dynamite. Gulp vampires. Feast on vampire eyeballs. Cave in a vampire's skull. Kiss a vampire to death. Peel a vampire like a banana. Wipe out vampire tribes. Deny vampires into Heaven. Freeze vampires in the vaccum of space. Hard boil a vampire. Lock on to vampires with a harpoon. Cryodesiccate a vampire. Ferment vampires into stew. Ensnare vampires. Nark on vampires to the army. Cause a total vampire purge. Jam a vampire into a geyser. Axe murder a vampire. Unleash Smelvin upon vampires. Put vampires on ships going to Transylvania and blow up the ships after they set sail. Total vampire death.

 

[Breadbassket]

Feels appropriate to mention Alexander Bogdanov in this thread. He was a Soviet Bolshevik revolutionary who thought a person could rejuvenate themself or become immortal by getting blood transfusions. Fittingly he died after taking blood from someone with malaria and tuberculosis.

 

[Inco G. Nito]

I think we are overdue for a thread on e/acc people in general. A lot of them embody peak science loving reddit, and its truly a spectacle to behold. A bizarre combination of wanting to believe the tropey sci-fi shows and movies, thinly veiled garbage peddled by celebrity "scientists" and other such sewage that they consoom is totally going to be real, combined with a tenuous grasp on their own mortality and on existential concepts in general.

If you really want to get all nihilistic and secular about death, you still have to accept that the afterlives depicted by religions are just as much speculative as your assumption that death means being conceptually obliterated. There is literally nothing to garner about post existential concepts because it has no basis in physical reality. It's just pseudointellectual nonsense trying to sound deep that enthralls midwit "intellectuals" like a pair of jingling car keys.

This guy is pretty respectable though. He's obviously dedicated and motivated. Not really anything wrong with trying to live forever (Spoiler, it won't work.) but this is definitely a good in for the topic of e/acc.

 

[neger psykolog]

I think we are overdue for a thread on e/acc people in general. A lot of them embody peak science loving reddit, and its truly a spectacle to behold. A bizarre combination of wanting to believe the tropey sci-fi shows and movies, thinly veiled garbage peddled by celebrity "scientists" and other such sewage that they consoom is totally going to be real, combined with a tenuous grasp on their own mortality and on existential concepts in general.

Multiple people have suggested either a thread or a subforum.

 

[Tingle]

This man is borderline insane. On one hand I understand the people who admire him for putting his own life at risk for possible medical and scientific breakthroughs but on the other won't subjecting himself to literally everything under the sun muddy the results that he's actually (potentially) providing?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Only God can grant eternal life, not the vampiric nonsense.

You overdid it on the rest, but yeah.

 

[Preacher ✝]

You overdid it on the rest, but yeah.

It's just a copypasta that I used find and replace on. The only other thing I did was remove the line that said bite a vampire and suck out its blood because that seemed silly.

 

[El-ahrairah]

So what I think is going on is either this man is still a believer in his religion and is very certain he’s going to hell for his various misdeeds, or he’s become an atheist and thinks death=nonexistence.

I know a lot of people believe that and don’t go on to drink their son’s blood to avoid it, but to go from believing you’re going to go to heaven and progress eternally, becoming better, closer to God every moment, forever, to “oh, you die and that’s it, that’s the end” is such an enormous jolt I can see it driving someone to insanity.

I’ve said it before but there’s only two types of ex-Mormon. There’s “still basically Mormon but now they drink coffee and alcohol” and “seems to be possessed by a literal demon.”

I’m glad he’s at least publishing so much of the data from his freakish experiments, maybe some good can come of that for someone.

 

[Preacher ✝]

when he started breaking with reality

Some would argue this happened when he joined the LDS...

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

I think the homoeroticism is very intentional. He has some sort of pride attached to his son's nighttime boner data.
Edit: missed the mention of this in OP
View attachment 6904446

He decided to undergo acoustic shockwave therapy on his dick six days per week

I'd say he is a mentally ill masochist with a gay incest fetish. His next idea is probably sucking his son off every day and drinking his "youthful" sperm because that will surely make him 30 years younger.

 

[Trombonista]

I don't really have a problem with what Bryan is doing. Having listened to the stuff he has said in interviews, it seems that he really is just interested in medical science and has decided to have his body be used as a guinea pig for research purposes. Some of the stuff comes across as a little weird, but that is the whole point of experimentation.

I feel what people can't articulate when mocking Bryan is that what they are really annoyed at is the amount of media attention he buys for himself and how often he wants to be put out in the spotlight for everyone to see.

Maybe it's just me, but measuring how long your son's night boners last is kind of creepy.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Some would argue this happened when he joined the LDS...

Wasn't he born into LDS?

e. I wonder if Mr Johnson has read this book. Maybe he should.

 

[Heather Mason 2]

This man is borderline insane. On one hand I understand the people who admire him for putting his own life at risk for possible medical and scientific breakthroughs but on the other won't subjecting himself to literally everything under the sun muddy the results that he's actually (potentially) providing?

Yes. Real science tests single controllable variables at a time or maybe a few variables at once to see how they affect each other and the system as a whole. This nigger is throwing hundreds of variables at his body and calling it scientific. It's pure Redditry, pop-science for midwits. I wouldn't be surprised if he's rocked by a huge health issue in 5 or 10 years from his combination of weirdo medical procedures and supplementation. Each thing he does can be "safe" in isolation or when treating an illness or deficiency, but throwing everything together at the same time doesn't mean you get extra-gooder-super-health. It might fucking kill you eventually

 

[Winsome Whimsical Waif]

Few things on this website have made me more sick to my stomach than seeing this freak hold up an enormous bag of his own plasma with the 1000 yard stare of a POW.

Spoiler: WARNING: Not for the faint of heart

Edit:
I forgot to mention that I actually heard about this guy before seeing this thread, and I appreciated both his willingness to record everything and pretend to make his measurements public for anyone to benefit from and the subtle motivation of his work by showing that anyone at any age with enormous amounts of resources, manpower, and free-time can become healthy; But I agree with others that he has seriously lost the plot.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

IIRC he had some website where others could upload their tests and everyone can track how good they're doing, turns out women that just took a storebrand multivitamin were kicking his ass in like every metric.

Abstaining completely from alcohol, smoking, and drugs in general extends your lifespan by a lot

too bad it seems to be mostly weirdos doing it, Mitt Romney looks amazing for his age, but mormons all look like they masturbate to animal torture videos.

this Bryan Johnson

we all know that one's going to outlive this out too, he literally has Q on his side.

that he left the LDS sometime after the end of his depressive phase, when he started breaking with reality:

ironically enough, with all the money he's saving not funding LDS, he's still coming out ahead doing all this freaky shit.