Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

There is a lot to unpack there. Not saying tl;dr, just hard to respond to all of it. I don't know if I can disagree with you completely. Some of what you're saying is at least perfectly reasonable. However, I would argue that Bob was hanging out at karaoke simply because Bob loved music his entire life. As for why Bob went along with Barb, who knows -- you might be spot on. I would only point out that women like Barb are very careful not to let people realize what they are really like until their prey is trapped. And I say "prey" because Barb is the very definition of a predator in that sense. In the case of Bob, she used an unexpected/age-defying pregnancy as a snare. Bob was old-fashioned as fuck and probably saw it as an obligation to stay with her simply because she was pregnant with his child. However, you really made me think when you implied we would probably learn a lot if we could speak to people from Bob's earlier life. In all these years that has never occurred to me. I can't say for certain whether or not it would reveal CWCisms in Bob's early life, but it would go a long way in explaining why Bob made a lot of the parenting decisions he made. Do we even know anything substantive about Bob's father and mother -- or even just meaningful details about his upbringing?

The main likeness I see in Chris and Bob is the monologuing. When we listen to the recording of Chris with his "date" at the mall who was only there to record the whole thing, and Bob did all the talking, boy did he *ever* do all the talking. I did this, I made that, I invented the other, braggy braggy blah blah blah. Very much like father, like son.

 

[Jeff Gazetti]

The main likeness I see in Chris and Bob is the monologuing. When we listen to the recording of Chris with his "date" at the mall who was only there to record the whole thing, and Bob did all the talking, boy did he *ever* do all the talking. I did this, I made that, I invented the other, braggy braggy blah blah blah. Very much like father, like son.

Personality wise yes, but bob did work his whole life and contributed his fair share.

His only sin is being spineless at the risk of being an asshole.

Who among us hasn’t bitten their tongue with either family or even amongst co workers just to avoid shitstorms?

I envy those who rise above that norm and can openly call people out on their horse shit.

Bob just wasn’t one of those people and he paid for it.

 

[Joseph Robinette Biden]

I can almost see Bob's point of view when he met Barb. He finds himself in his mid 50's, short and looks like Cotton Hill, just got out of a long term marriage and the kids are grown and out of the house. He goes out to enjoy some music and some singing, one of the biggest passions in his life. There's an auburn haired chick in her late 30's checking him out in the audience while he sings and she's smiling. Later, she chases him down the hall to talk to him. What are the prospects for a and old Cotton Hill look-a-like getting laid? This was his best chance. Too bad Count Ejaculon ruined everything. Decades later he wears a frayed sweater, hasn't had sex in years, has a delusional tard for a son, his wife is a hoarder and has filled the house with garbage that makes him fear the wrath of the Greene County Department of Health and Welfare and his body is infested with parasites. I do kind feel bad for Bob in the last years of his life. He may have been a shitty person at some point. Something that drove his other two kids away. I doubt anyone will ever hear from them so we may never know. I wonder if there was ever a dreaming studio for Mr C. and Little A. where dreams did come true.

Strongly agree on that last bit regarding his estranged children. There is a strong chance he was responsible for it in a big way, but we don't really know anything about those situations (and likely never will). Things like that aren't always as simple as, "dad was a terrible guy so now we hate him for completely legitimate reasons." Maybe he cheated on their mother because they had a toxic marriage. Maybe he was something of a hardass disciplinarian with his first children and they simply resented him for not coddling them (some have hypothesized he was so soft on Chris because he regretted this). It's all speculation unless/until someone can get some information from said estranged children.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I wonder if Chris really knows anything about his other half siblings. We know quite a bit about Cole just because he has more or less made himself a public figure. That and Chris tried to sell all of his shit so we know he read comic books and was a Boy Scout. I haven't seen a picture of Carol either. Chris might have because he made an Amibo out of her. I wonder if Bob ever talked about his other kids to Chris. Although Chris might have likely forgotten since he has to watch a documentary series about himself to remember some shit. If Bob never said anything to Chris about them I have to imagine he might have held a grudge against them for some sleight. A feeling that was likely mutual. And I believe that the person playing Alan's daughter was a troll if I read the CWCki right so we might never know. I'm sure all parties want to distance themselves from Chris's psychic shitstorms as much as possible.

 

[Tazdingo9000]

CWCki

sonichu.com

There ya go. Have fun. I reccomend the 'Chris and...' series at the bottom of the page.

Thanks m8

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I can almost see Bob's point of view when he met Barb. He finds himself in his mid 50's, short and looks like Cotton Hill, just got out of a long term marriage and the kids are grown and out of the house. He goes out to enjoy some music and some singing, one of the biggest passions in his life. There's an auburn haired chick in her late 30's checking him out in the audience while he sings and she's smiling. Later, she chases him down the hall to talk to him. What are the prospects for a and old Cotton Hill look-a-like getting laid? This was his best chance. Too bad Count Ejaculon ruined everything. Decades later he wears a frayed sweater, hasn't had sex in years, has a delusional tard for a son, his wife is a hoarder and has filled the house with garbage that makes him fear the wrath of the Greene County Department of Health and Welfare and his body is infested with parasites. I do kind feel bad for Bob in the last years of his life. He may have been a shitty person at some point. Something that drove his other two kids away. I doubt anyone will ever hear from them so we may never know. I wonder if there was ever a dreaming studio for Mr C. and Little A. where dreams did come true.

Barb was in her 40s at that point, but she looked much older. They were both pathetic, and no one wanted either of them. I don't know what's up with the genetics in the family, but they all look older than they actually are.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

The Autism tutorial is very long, but it does a good job of defining Chris's position on his crazy.

I’ll defend Chris if it’s due, but I hope you realize that he basically read the Wikipedia article for autism out loud.

Rule of thumb: If he speaks in a way that somehow makes him sound like a rational person, chances are he’s parroting something someone else said or he’s reading from a script/prompt.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I always wondered about the comment Bob made to Chris when he wanted to go to MagFest about him "Being just like a serial killer" and the latest video seemed to shed more light on that:

Spoiler: 5:03

Then my father came in a few minutes later telling me of us three beng [sic] a whole and what happens if one leaves. And informed me that due to the crap on the internet against and about me from the trolls and what I uploaded, as well as my real events between PVCC, the mall cops and that shit, plus beng [sic] psychologically matched to the high school and college dropout who shot the people in Arizona.

I went on to look at Jared Loughner's wiki page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Lee_Loughner#Suspension_from_college

Mix in "paranoid" conspiracy theories that his parents talked to Chris about around 7:27

I find it amazing that his parents tied Loughner's behavior to what Chris has done historically, focussing probably from the the PVCC debacle. It seems they caught the outward media reports on Loughner and thought "that's our Chris". This is before the 2011 GAMe PLACe Death Race of Barb and Chris's though.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I always wondered about the comment Bob made to Chris when he wanted to go to MagFest about him "Being just like a serial killer" and the latest video seemed to shed more light on that:

Spoiler: 5:03

Then my father came in a few minutes later telling me of us three beng [sic] a whole and what happens if one leaves. And informed me that due to the crap on the internet against and about me from the trolls and what I uploaded, as well as my real events between PVCC, the mall cops and that shit, plus beng [sic] psychologically matched to the high school and college dropout who shot the people in Arizona.

I went on to look at Jared Loughner's wiki page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Lee_Loughner#Suspension_from_college

Mix in "paranoid" conspiracy theories that his parents talked to Chris about around 7:27

I find it amazing that his parents tied Loughner's behavior to what Chris has done historically, focussing probably from the the PVCC debacle. It seems they caught the outward media reports on Loughner and thought "that's our Chris". This is before the 2011 GAMe PLACe Death Race of Barb and Chris's though.

I was wondering the same thing. But they didn't do jack shit to curb Chris' behavior. Fortunately for Chris, he was focused on finding love. Not that it still excuses that. If Chris had more disturbed tendencies, that would be something else.

I can almost see Bob's point of view when he met Barb. He finds himself in his mid 50's, short and looks like Cotton Hill, just got out of a long term marriage and the kids are grown and out of the house. He goes out to enjoy some music and some singing, one of the biggest passions in his life. There's an auburn haired chick in her late 30's checking him out in the audience while he sings and she's smiling. Later, she chases him down the hall to talk to him. What are the prospects for a and old Cotton Hill look-a-like getting laid? This was his best chance. Too bad Count Ejaculon ruined everything. Decades later he wears a frayed sweater, hasn't had sex in years, has a delusional tard for a son, his wife is a hoarder and has filled the house with garbage that makes him fear the wrath of the Greene County Department of Health and Welfare and his body is infested with parasites. I do kind feel bad for Bob in the last years of his life. He may have been a shitty person at some point. Something that drove his other two kids away. I doubt anyone will ever hear from them so we may never know. I wonder if there was ever a dreaming studio for Mr C. and Little A. where dreams did come true.

You have a point. Perhaps Bob did have a dreaming studio with David. The only way to find out is to ask him.

 

[Joseph Robinette Biden]

I was wondering the same thing. But they didn't do jack shit to curb Chris' behavior. Fortunately for Chris, he was focused on finding love. Not that it still excuses that. If Chris had more disturbed tendencies, that would be something else.

It was definitely a stretch to compare Chris to Loughner. Reading over the Wiki article, I cannot really see any meaningful similarities. Bob was just being paranoid.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

It was definitely a stretch to compare Chris to Loughner. Reading over the Wiki article, I cannot really see any meaningful similarities. Bob was just being paranoid.

He should have been more paranoid and beat the fag out of Chris.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

He should have been more paranoid and beat the fag out of Chris.

I'm more surprised Bob didn't cut all the internet. At that point, Bob knew full well and experienced Chris' online antics. With Chris turning tomgirl, it must've come to a complete shock to Bob. I think Bob believed that the trolls tricked Chris into turning tomgirl, but ended up going along with it since there was nothing left for the old man to do other than throw the homo card at Chris. If I was Bob, I would get rid of the internet, chuck the computer away, and just close the family out, once and for all.

 

[Angel Dust]

I'm more surprised Bob didn't cut all the internet. At that point, Bob knew full well and experienced Chris' online antics. With Chris turning tomgirl, it must've come to a complete shock to Bob. I think Bob believed that the trolls tricked Chris into turning tomgirl, but ended up going along with it since there was nothing left for the old man to do other than throw the homo card at Chris. If I was Bob, I would get rid of the internet, chuck the computer away, and just close the family out, once and for all.

I don't think Bob was quite tech savy enough to nuke things like that. I got the sense that to him, unplugging the computer was the equivalent of cutting it all down. Bob could've moved the family to remote Siberia and Chris still would find a way to make a fool of himself online.

 

[Joseph Robinette Biden]

I don't think Bob was quite tech savy enough to nuke things like that. I got the sense that to him, unplugging the computer was the equivalent of cutting it all down. Bob could've moved the family to remote Siberia and Chris still would find a way to make a fool of himself online.

Agreed. The fact that he thought Chris could somehow remove a video from the internet entirely after it had been uploaded to multiple places speaks volumes about how well Bob understood the internet.

 

[Francine StripeCheer]

It was definitely a stretch to compare Chris to Loughner. Reading over the Wiki article, I cannot really see any meaningful similarities. Bob was just being paranoid.

Loughner was fired from a fast-food job and suspended from community college, and made inappropriate comments about fellow students in class; he also had a longstanding grudge against Gabrielle Giffords, a woman in a position of power.

Bob knew next to nothing about mental health and it probably made him afraid because Loughner was never violent prior to the shooting.

 

[Joseph Robinette Biden]

Loughner was fired from a fast-food job and suspended from community college, and made inappropriate comments about fellow students in class; he also had a longstanding grudge against Gabrielle Giffords, a woman in a position of power.

Bob knew next to nothing about mental health and it probably made him afraid because Loughner was never violent prior to the shooting.

Young kids who have been fired from fast-food jobs and people who don't like certain public figures are not hard to find. The comments he made in his classes were pretty disturbing, though. However, Chris never said anything about strapping a bomb to an aborted fetus, etc. Moreover, Chris was isolated, but not by choice. He wasn't anti-social, just socially inept, and didn't meet the standards required to be "worthy" of healthy human relationships in general.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Agreed. The fact that he thought Chris could somehow remove a video from the internet entirely after it had been uploaded to multiple places speaks volumes about how well Bob understood the internet.

Chris isn’t the sort of person that would be able to explain unfamiliar technology to an elderly person. At best, Bob’s familiarity with the internet is based on it’s applications in the business world circa the 80s and possibly Usenet. Basically a less centralized world wide web with little social media beyond someone’s personalized website for their cat.

Though, the fact that Chris was competent enough to upload his own site in 2000-2001 and record off TV footage in 2003 shows that Bob was at least slightly familiarized with the world wide web. But the internet in 2000 was dramatically different to the internet of 2009; Bob just assumed Chris uploaded the videos to YouTube the same way he uploads comics and photos to his old pages, and let’s be honest: Chris doesn’t use social media the way it was intended to be used so it’s obvious that Bob wasn’t going to understand it fully.

As an engineer, Bob was familiar with the mechanical and hardware aspects of computer science in relation to circuitry, but networking and anything software related was way beyond his time.

Also I like how Chris was able to record off-TV footage in 2003 while DSP was pointing his camera at the screen in 2010.

 

[Joseph Robinette Biden]

Chris isn’t the sort of person that would be able to explain unfamiliar technology to an elderly person. At best, Bob’s familiarity with the internet is based on it’s applications in the business world circa the 80s and possibly Usenet. Basically a less centralized world wide web with little social media beyond someone’s personalized website for their cat.

Though, the fact that Chris was competent enough to upload his own site in 2000-2001 and record off TV footage in 2003 shows that Bob was at least slightly familiarized with the world wide web. But the internet in 2000 was dramatically different to the internet of 2009; Bob just assumed Chris uploaded the videos to YouTube the same way he uploads comics and photos to his old pages, and let’s be honest: Chris doesn’t use social media the way it was intended to be used so it’s obviously that Bob wasn’t going to understand it fully.

As an engineer, Bob was familiar with the mechanical and hardware aspects of computer science in relation to circuitry, but networking and anything software related was way beyond his time.

He knew a little about software. He wrote a basic ring stacking game at one point for either an IBM PC or his C64 (can't recall which). But yea, his knowledge was all from before solid state. He was an electrical engineer from the days of yore. I have doubts that he really had much experience with the internet during his time at all. Highly unlikely he was on Usenet or early BBS systems in my opinion.

Edit: Chris is not exactly Terry Davis, but someone on here noted that he does have some technical ability. In fact, weren't you the guy who got him in touch with someone who was helping him fix his old C64?

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

Barb was in her 40s at that point, but she looked much older. They were both pathetic, and no one wanted either of them. I don't know what's up with the genetics in the family, but they all look older than they actually are.

Yeah you do know, at least somewhat. Let's talk about lifestyle factors. Look how they eat--cheap, overprocessed junk full of chemicals-- and look at the lack of exercise. Consider that Bob and Barb used to be always out getting drunk. I won't claim genetics have nothing to do with the way you age, because that would be retarded, but if you eat like crap and drown your organs in booze and never exercise, well.... it's gonna show. Probably also contributed to the damage that gave Chris the tism, on top of Barb's eggs being at least 10 years past the sell by date.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

I love the way that, in the first LBP video in this segment, when Chris is showing off the special features of the level, he basically is playing Sonichu, since that's the avatar he's somewhat clumsily created. This is as close to Chris speaking as Sonichu that we're likely to get.

And then to put the icing on the cake, Rosechu runs onscreen in the closing moments. Then Sonichu/Chris continues to talk shit for a good bit longer, and Rosechu stands there and does nothing.