Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Argh My Cigar]

Shit makes me sad because the current arc was going to be the funniest. Finally the sweetheart shit was going to end and he was going to get smug and fuck with other lolcows. ADF was front and center on that shit too, the battle would have been glorious because looking at ADF, you'd want Chris to win.

And by god did he need a good win.

Rest in peace Bob. This next ep is going to be some sad shit.

Also I miss god damn Fatman, dude was the best.

Wasn't Jack Thaddeus not actually ADF and it was just trolls trying to pit them against one another? I don't know if ADF actually addressed Chris all that much, though I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I don't know if he was homeless yet around the time this was all unfolding- I'd imagine if he was he'd be less concerned with Chris and more concerned with his life as a homeless oppressed communist transgender latina.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Wasn't Jack Thaddeus not actually ADF and it was just trolls trying to pit them against one another? I don't know if ADF actually addressed Chris all that much, though I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I don't know if he was homeless yet around the time this was all unfolding- I'd imagine if he was he'd be less concerned with Chris and more concerned with his life as a homeless oppressed communist transgender latina.

Jack Thaddeus was not ADF. Same as Surfshack Tito was not Don, BlueSpike wasn’t Nesshelper, etc. Chris was goaded into making videos about them hoping they’d make video responses and some did. However ADF took it especially personally because Chris was calling himself a Tomgirl and saying ADF would never be a real woman. So there’s actually more than one response from ADF that ends up being pretty funny. However Bob passed away and things slowed down, for a long time.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Jack Thaddeus was not ADF. Same as Surfshack Tito was not Don, BlueSpike wasn’t Nesshelper, etc. Chris was goaded into making videos about them hoping they’d make video responses and some did. However ADF took it especially personally because Chris was calling himself a Tomgirl and saying ADF would never be a real woman. So there’s actually more than one response from ADF that ends up being pretty funny. However Bob passed away and things slowed down, for a long time.

I think it's pretty much all but obvious that once Bob died and the "old guard" of trolls backed off, the lack of interesting content was because nobody was goading Chris anymore.

I hope Geno at least addresses at one point or another during this series that a lot of Chris's stunts over the years were deliberately orchestrated. Probably won't be until the Idea Guys get covered. I just feel like it'd be necessary since it'll keep another wave of weenery from spreading since people will know if Chris is being manipulated again.

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

I was catching up on this while dog-sitting today and when Chris stsrted talking, the dog got up and walked away.

 

[Alex Krycek]

I think it's pretty much all but obvious that once Bob died and the "old guard" of trolls backed off, the lack of interesting content was because nobody was goading Chris anymore.

I hope Geno at least addresses at one point or another during this series that a lot of Chris's stunts over the years were deliberately orchestrated. Probably won't be until the Idea Guys get covered. I just feel like it'd be necessary since it'll keep another wave of I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME from spreading since people will know if Chris is being manipulated again.

Some funny content did come out if this time, like the Lesbian couple looking for a Sperm diner and he froze the samples in his fridge and showed them on camera after saying “I’ve been tricked into doing a lot, but it won’t ever happen again. Okay here’s the sample.”

But between Bobs death and 2015 there was really nothing big to speak of. Pretty much everyone became bored for a long time and Chris did learn to cope some it seems. It’s just that he continued to lose his grip on reality and his outlook on life in general as he became increasingly isolated.

 

[johnny5150]

off topic: was joshua martinez part trolling with Clyde cash or did he do by himself?

 

[Mr. 0]

I think it's pretty much all but obvious that once Bob died and the "old guard" of trolls backed off, the lack of interesting content was because nobody was goading Chris anymore.

what
-chris went to jail twice doing stupid shit, once for running down snyder, once for pepper spraying a gamestop employee
-his house burned down and it took a year to rebuild because barb was trying to fight the insurance companies or something
-he rear ended a DAMN SMOKER and screamed out loud about it
-he got kicked out of another hobby shop because he flipped out over sonichu getting thrown in the trash/arguing with and possibly curse-ye-ha-me-ha-ing a game judge
-he got kicked out of a gym because he fucking farted everywhere (the weens calling only sped this process up a la the wallflower)
-he got kicked out of a con for grabbing and smooching people without their consent, and only narrowly avoided getting arrested because some fool coddled him like a child (again) instead of treating him like the fat-ass grown adult he is
-he planned on killing himself via starvation if he went to jail over snyder and finally shelled out for a hooker because he didn't want to die a virgin
-he got caught handing out scribbled over coupons that defamed the game place

 

[Argh My Cigar]

what
-chris went to jail twice doing stupid shit, once for running down snyder, once for pepper spraying a gamestop employee
-his house burned down and it took a year to rebuild because barb was trying to fight the insurance companies or something
-he rear ended a DAMN SMOKER and screamed out loud about it
-he got kicked out of another hobby shop because he flipped out over sonichu getting thrown in the trash/arguing with and possibly curse-ye-ha-me-ha-ing a game judge
-he got kicked out of a gym because he fucking farted everywhere (the weens calling only sped this process up a la the wallflower)
-he got kicked out of a con for grabbing and smooching people without their consent, and only narrowly avoided getting arrested because some fool coddled him like a child (again) instead of treating him like the fat-ass grown adult he is
-he planned on killing himself via starvation if he went to jail over snyder and finally shelled out for a hooker because he didn't want to die a virgin
-he got caught handing out scribbled over coupons that defamed the game place

The touching/kissing was encouraged by we-ens.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

-he got caught handing out scribbled over coupons that defamed the game place

This is new. Was he trying to take business away from the Game Place?

 

[2021Murder]

I agree with you on Barb. Bob, I don't know. I don't know how he reacted to when Chris was kicked out of PVCC, I would assume that Bob would go "this establishment is persecuting/harassing my son - don't make me sue you" or move him to another college like he did with elementary school. College was a waste. What did Bob and Chris do to keep his interest in CADD? What did they do while Chris was suspended? What did they do during the 4 years to earn that CADD degree? Even though there wasn't much to do with an associates in CADD, I assume that Bob tried to get Chris a job in GE. It's a waste and all Chris wanted to do was just find a sweetheart in his college years, and receive and spend the tugboat.

I think Bob would most likely have been better off if he college schooled Chris from 14BLC.

Thats what i was saying, we already established that the Chandlers weren't going to leave rural VA, so a CADD degree was rather useless. Honestly some sort of basic computer science degree might have been more up Chris' alley, if he could find someone to basically be the middleman he could have made money creating some websites for small businesses.

Its more like people are saying Bob's old fashioned and probably assumed the job market was like it was when he retired, im sure in his last days at GE they were constantly talking about it so he assumed it was essentially the contra code to easy success in life. The information is probably lost now but i would be very surprised if he had any relationships beyond his first wife and barb. Meaning he didnt lose his virginity until 29. Also just a shot in the dark but i would have to think the reason for the divorce was his wife cheating instead of him, which would line up with Chris wanting a boyfriend-free girl specifically. Im almost sure there wasnt no fault divorce when bob got his in 1980. Im surprised no one bothered trying to get those records or the ones for Barb's divorces those are always great for drama.

Personally i feel like if Bob was such a ladies man instead of a Chris-esque desperate simp, he wouldnt have continued fucking Barb, and im sure if Chris was a "near-immaculate conception"* we would have heard about it by now. So essentially Bob found a fat bitch that looks similar to Chris now and just kept fucking her and they moved in together and got married. And just because he and her might go to the same bar, that doesnt mean he would be forced to continue seeing her. Any person with intelligence knows that wouldnt matter.

Also its pretty clear Chris probably fucked some methed out Richmond hooker. Since whiteness and cheapness are two things he looks for in a woman, thats literally his only choice, probably took the drive down, we could probability find the exact dates if he ever mentioned richmond on his social media at that time.
*impregnated on the first fuck between a couple

 

[Mr. 0]

This is new. Was he trying to take business away from the Game Place?

nah, he was just pissy about being arrested for trespassing and running down snyder

don't forget he was calling snyder a pedophile after this, too

 

[Killowaaa]

Honestly Cake Farts and the Jackie saga as a whole was part of Christory I always dismissed but honestly I think it was the beginning of the end where his grip on reality truly started to completely fade up his ass just like that cake

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Honestly Cake Farts and the Jackie saga as a whole was part of Christory I always dismissed but honestly I think it was the beginning of the end where his grip on reality truly started to completely fade up his ass just like that cake

I thought it was either him making love with his sex doll outside his house, on his front lawn, or when he "dug up" Patti to wear as a coat.

 

[Killowaaa]

I thought it was either him making love with his sex doll outside his house, on his front lawn, or when he "dug up" Patti to wear as a coat.

When you had countless online "girlfriends" leak your filthy obese naked body online over and over again you'd think he'd learn but just like patty you can't teach an old dog or an autist new tricks

 

[Tikbalang]

You think Chris swapped bodies with sonichu to avoid this cringy moment?

 

[RustyNail(her)]

Watching Chris try to make demands thinking he had won the war makes me realize that the moment he shot out of Bob's dick first was the last time he had the upper hand in life.

 

[Alex Krycek]

off topic: was joshua martinez part trolling with Clyde cash or did he do by himself?

I wasn’t part of any inner circle but from what I remember Josh just kinda started off scamming Chris in his own and started talking to people later on.

Also he’s a good person these days if others are to be believed and feels really bad about everything that happened but also thinks Chris is insane.

 

[deadson]

View attachment 1238172
Just watched the new video. I have a new night terror.

This and the Unclit are nightmarish, thank god Geno censors this shit.

 

[Based Papa John]

That... makes a lot of sense. Bob did get chris to change his majors and tried to keep him on a path where he could have something resembling a normal life and Barb... well, was the bitter money grubbing harpy she's always been. Clearly the wrong parent died first.

Thats what i was saying, we already established that the Chandlers weren't going to leave rural VA, so a CADD degree was rather useless. Honestly some sort of basic computer science degree might have been more up Chris' alley, if he could find someone to basically be the middleman he could have made money creating some websites for small businesses.

Its more like people are saying Bob's old fashioned and probably assumed the job market was like it was when he retired, im sure in his last days at GE they were constantly talking about it so he assumed it was essentially the contra code to easy success in life. The information is probably lost now but i would be very surprised if he had any relationships beyond his first wife and barb. Meaning he didnt lose his virginity until 29. Also just a shot in the dark but i would have to think the reason for the divorce was his wife cheating instead of him, which would line up with Chris wanting a boyfriend-free girl specifically. Im almost sure there wasnt no fault divorce when bob got his in 1980. Im surprised no one bothered trying to get those records or the ones for Barb's divorces those are always great for drama.

Personally i feel like if Bob was such a ladies man instead of a Chris-esque desperate simp, he wouldnt have continued fucking Barb, and im sure if Chris was a "near-immaculate conception"* we would have heard about it by now. So essentially Bob found a fat bitch that looks similar to Chris now and just kept fucking her and they moved in together and got married. And just because he and her might go to the same bar, that doesnt mean he would be forced to continue seeing her. Any person with intelligence knows that wouldnt matter.

I kind of go back and forth on what I think of Bob, but I tend to think that he was definitely the better of Chris' parents by far. Even at his worst - undue paranoia, paying kids to be nice to Chris, threatening to sue PVCC and the Game Place - you get the impression that Bob really had Chris' best interests in mind. He gets a lot of flack for not wanting to put Chris in special ed, but I think that Bob just wanted Chris to live as normal a life as possible without the personal stigma and self-esteem issues that it would inevitably bring. (Seriously, I don't see why anyone would want to see their grade school child be put in a mental institution, even if it were for the best, especially given Bob's age and what he likely thought such places were like. Assuming that the threat was actually made to institutionalize Chris, I don't see why Bob would even entertain the idea).

Barb, on the other hand, appears to be pure evil. I've known women like Barb in age and in temperament, and there's something about white trash that produces bitches like her. Bob, not unlike iDubbz, might just have likely been trapped in a relationship because no one else would take him, or at least that's what he might have thought.

Also its pretty clear Chris probably fucked some methed out Richmond hooker. Since whiteness and cheapness are two things he looks for in a woman, thats literally his only choice, probably took the drive down, we could probability find the exact dates if he ever mentioned richmond on his social media at that time.
*impregnated on the first fuck between a couple

I mean, his first gal-pal Sarah Hammer seemed to be first rate trailer trash, so it only makes sense.

 

[taintmisbehavin]

View attachment 1238172
Just watched the new video. I have a new night terror.

I think this is the only Chris video I cannot watch in its entirety due to grossness.

Forget whatever else he may have done. This video’s existence is why he belongs in jail.