Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

3:00 "I'm not psychic, or a mind reader"
oh if only chris believed that today.

“I’m not a psychic or a mind reader”

Famous last words, until his brain started turning into mush.

It's also weird seeing the devolution of Chris from this video to today with all rings, bracelets hair accessories and rocks he has all over his flabby body.

Damn, you beat me to it

 

[OJ Simpson]

Spoiler: 🤮

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

At one point he starts talking about 'mirroring' people. I'm not totally sure what he means, but is this an admission that he tends to just mimic behavior in hopes of learning social cues?

"People have the right to vent and insult people who upset them." Another case of Chris's hypocrisy. Anyone upsets him? Chris has license to insult them and slander them, but if the tables are turned then "that's being a hater."

Chris: "I consider myself a nerd because I'm very well read." "I got really good scores in highschool and college." Despite the fact we know he was a D- student in highschool, and in college it took him... was it 4 years to complete a 2 year course?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

"In my dreams, we make out and have sex!"

 

[Hogar Grupal]

"In my dreams, we make out and have sex!"

Again, he goes on these tangents, but is not in a padded cell.

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

Okay, if chris wanted to show off his fat fucking moobs for the camera, why did he get entirely naked?

On top of being physically ill from seeing him naked the stupidity on screen hurts even worse.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Okay, if chris wanted to show off his fat fucking moobs for the camera, why did he get entirely naked?

On top of being physically ill from seeing him naked the stupidity on screen hurts even worse.

Wait til Geno gets to the time Chris starts displaying his tongue.

 

[LiveFromNS]

At the end when Chris is asking for people to give him money for nothing, he looks visibly stressed and a bit shaken. It also looks like he is sweating a good bit.

I wonder if his mother was freaking out at him and they had a huge fight or screaming match and she told him to get money quick or something bad will happen. I assume the begging for money was due to Barb's credit card debt judgment noted earlier in this segment.

But he does appear quite bothered and out of sorts when he was asking for money.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

"I consider myself a nerd because I'm very well read."

'I have read every R L Stine book from cover to cover.'

 

[Hogar Grupal]

At the end when Chris is asking for people to give him money for nothing, he looks visibly stressed and a bit shaken. It also looks like he is sweating a good bit.

I wonder if his mother was freaking out at him and they had a huge fight or screaming match and she told him to get money quick or something bad will happen. I assume the begging for money was due to Barb's credit card debt judgment noted earlier in this segment.

But he does appear quite bothered and out of sorts when he was asking for money.

That is most likely the case. She may have told Chris that they were going to either lose the house or that his tugboat would be taken away.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

Love how Chris' camera flash was blurred

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

'I have read every R L Stine book from cover to cover.'

the only parts of the books he's read. the covers.

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

So my thoughts and feelings on this one were a bit meh. I confess I skipped the interview with the pretentious brit. He reminded me of Mike J on Channel Awesome (unfunny)

Firstly, Christian commenting on getting the free PS4. I don't know if it's true or not, because there's no shortage of stupid white knights, but also, Chris lies to inflate his own ego. His comment about it just being the basic black version made me seethe because I could sense his dissatisfaction with not having the absolute best.

Speaking of which, happy birthday to the guy who requested a Sonichu Amibo talk to a glass of piss. That's one way to celebrate your womb-eviction day.

Beyond this, it's more of the same. That's not a slander to Geno, but a symptom of chris making his life as repetitive as possible to conform to his autistic love for routine.

1) latch onto an event and make it about him. - Christian proclaims his support for women, whilst in the same geno episode, explains his high standards for a girlfriend, including breast size and she can't have too many pounds on the side. He thinks of himself as a woman so unquestionably that he can now peer review his sistren.

2) Do the bare minimum - Christian's birthday wish videos are brief and uninspired. His Yu-Gi-Oh game is filled with silence as he refuses to communicate, and begins his usual strategy of brute-forcing a win. This confirms tales of his Game Place pokemon duels before that damn dirty.... SNYDER kicked him out.

3) Look like Shit - tight clothes, no coordination, no make up, no hair care, overweight. He looks like the ghost from The Grudge if she shopped at Walmart and cursed people by eating their fridges empty.

4) Word Salad - How do you fuck up a Pepper Ridge Farm Remembers meme? Never have I seen meme generator be used to write a treaty on economics.

5) Resistance to Reality - By now, Christian's school record is well known, but still he insists he did amazing with grades. How? He did the F in English rant, and Count Graduon, his biggest nemesis, along side Mary Lee Walsh, are both antagonists themed around education. The same with the Little Big Planet autism tutorial. How many of us have gone back, and looked at previous artwork, videos, reviews, games, paintings, or actions we've done and cringed at the recollection? Yet Christian looks at his Autism LBP videos like they're his magnum opus. Christ almighty....

6) Me - I suddenly realized how immune I've become to Christian. I minimized the window, did some typing elsewhere, and when I maximized it again, he had his colossal manboobs out, with love hearts, talking about sex changes. I didn't even raise an eyebrow.

7) Financhu Crisis - To be stared at judgingly by a thousand lego toys, amibos, transformers... it's like being on trial. Yet, surrounded by his empire of child-tier, endorphin-inducing trove of toys, he begs for more money. At this point I realized something... his job is to be troll fodder. This is why he is the ultimate troll victim. He has evolved, through a capitalistic niche, to fill a void in the market. Bluespike was right all along... he is there to be tortured, mocked, bullied, tricked, and to earn the breadcrumbs he is thrown by weens and white knights. If he knows it or not, he certainly embraces it by not just an unwillingness to change, but an absolute resolute evolutionary invincibility to change. Environments (school / home) acts of god (fire) school (high school / college), law (police / mall security), trolls (white hat and black) are unable to change Chris. The only one who managed was the Idea Guy(s) and this is because deep down inside, they steered Christian to a path he preferred: away from reality. Okay, robbing him of the money was fucking disgusting, but from now on, I'm intrigued to see how Geno portrays Christian urinating in his bedroom whilst worrying Hitlerchu and the Sword Art Online crew are murdering Rosees and Sonees.

 

[Uncle Meat]

That is most likely the case. She may have told Chris that they were going to either lose the house or that his tugboat would be taken away.

And of course his concern extends only as far as asking other people to bail him out. Look at that vast room of toys and try to figure out how much money that represents.. That is money he made and didn't contribute to the household expenses.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

"In my dreams, we make out and have sex!"

"And I am definitely... Quite busty in other figure... in other features as well..."

Edit: "Slim to average, um, she can have some fat, but not too much fat, alright? And I would definitely say C-cup breasts MINIMUM. D would be preferred." Well, good luck with that.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

And of course his concern extends only as far as asking other people to bail him out. Look at that vast room of toys and try to figure out how much money that represents.. That is money he made and didn't contribute to the household expenses.

All that plastic junk is tax payer money that he continually spends like water, yet he has the nerve to start hamming up the fact that he needs money from people (for certain reasons) by making people feel sorry for him and convey to people that he's in a desperate situation.

Regardless about if that begging moment from Chris was forced upon him by Barb's debt troubles...

Not only is he spending money he never worked for in the first place for over 2 decades now but yet as time has shown, he's even incapable of using money people gave/donated to him wisely.

And some people say he's capable of moving out of the house on his own two feet with minimal assistance and he can manage all the bills and ongoing expenses that entails when renting a place out. I don't think Chris has even a ghost of a chance without some white knights coddling him out from the hoard and hand holding every step of the way when it comes to managing his own finances.

And Null is under no obligation to deal with that shit, not sure how much empathy he even has for the guy anymore.

 

[Uncle Meat]

All that plastic junk is tax payer money that he continually spends like water

I don't think that is the case. Barb knows the exact amount of the tugboat, and she has probably attached a sizable percentage of that. But she has no clue what Chris does on PayPal. There was a time when Chris was buying Lego sets off eBay for considerably more than the same sets were selling for on Amazon or in stores. I think he was doing that because eBay takes PayPal, and Amazon and stores don't. If he can spend the money he gets from his fans before it hits his bank account, Barb can't claim any of it for food and mortgage. I'm betting that Chris thinks that the money he makes selling stuff himself is all his, even if he doesn't come close to contributing his full share to the household with his tugboat.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I don't think that is the case. Barb knows the exact amount of the tugboat, and she has probably attached a sizable percentage of that. But she has no clue what Chris does on PayPal. There was a time when Chris was buying Lego sets off eBay for considerably more than the same sets were selling for on Amazon or in stores. I think he was doing that because eBay takes PayPal, and Amazon and stores don't. If he can spend the money he gets from his fans before it hits his bank account, Barb can't claim any of it for food and mortgage. I'm betting that Chris thinks that the money he makes selling stuff himself is all his, even if he doesn't come close to contributing his full share to the household with his tugboat.

You're right. Chris would be better off using his fan "income" to contribute to the house, but since it's his, and it is, he's more willing to spend it on toys cause that's his main priority. It's no wonder he gets stressed out about the finances, cause much of the tugboat already spent no the house, but here comes more bills and debts thanks to Barb, and Chris isn't smart enough to to plan. "$4,000. Okay, no problem. I can sacrifice what I've made on medallions to lower this so we don't have to worry anymore." But Chris doesn't want to because he's focused on himself. I think Chris sees Barb as a burden now. Don't me wrong; of course they would love each other like a parent and child would, but their dynamic is pretty fucked up, and Chris would feel like he wants to live by himself and not worry about such things, but that's not how life works. I don't know how many times Bob must be spinning in his grave.

Geno was spot on on his ending stinger "The carefree life of a child was no longer an option."

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

and Chris isn't smart enough to to plan

Oh, come on, Chris was more concerned about buying Legos when his house burned down. He would be in debt with or without Barb. Even back when Bob was alive, he was stealing from him to buy plastic junk.

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

the only parts of the books he's read. the covers.

One of my favorite moments from the sonichu issues where Chris is in high school. He's a young, hip, thinly drawn and cool character who would stare for hours into a bathroom mirror so he could help remember his own face. Otherwise, when he reads R.L Stein, he has to imagine the protagonists as Sonichu characters. God help that boy...