Chris' funniest one-liner

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I know it's actually a reference to Katamari but...
I_can_feel_the_cosmos.jpg
 
I AM A MAN!
- Comic Chris in Sonichu 10 after being called a woman by a passerby who, ironically, predicted what Chris wanted to become a few years later.

Also:

I am still totally heterosexual.
- Real Chris whilst dressed like a guy pretending to be a guy dressed as a woman.
 
Going through this thread has been amazing; reliving all of Chris's witticisms has had me giggling nonstop. And as many others have said, most of the time it's not the quotes themselves that are funny, it's the way they're delivered. Chris really should've gone into theatre.

Just to toss out some of my personal favorite one-liners...
  • "MY NAME IS NOT IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING!"
  • "I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!"
  • "The real medallion has been made out of CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC, AND ACRYLIC PAINT!"
  • "I love dykes! Dykes! CHINA!"
 
And there was the last line of Chris' report on The Canterbury Tales:

"Well, that's it for the essay."

A conclusive statement from an artist whose first draft is always good enough to be the finished product.
 
This one is full of my favorites

"And now for something completely different: an Inuyasha parody. Very good."

"Heyy, hey, the gang's all here. What the heck do we care, what the heck do we care~"

"Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt... as long as you want till MIDNIGHT!! HUH HUH HA-YEAAH!! JACKPOT!!"

"Megan: WHY?! And for that matter, Michael Snyder- WHY?!?!"

"Uaah, Robotnik, Robotnik, dudodododu, Robotnik, Robotnik, dododudutdutDOOO!! HAA-HEEAHAHAHAHEAHA!!!"
 
A Week With Christian Chandler is full of really strangely phrased sentences

"But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville."

"Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was."

"These busses are full of nutty "slow-in-the-minds.""

"Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry."
 
I forgot what I saved this from, but it kills me. So informative, yet total stream of consciousness BS... I'm pretty sure this was written to a girl he was just trying to keep a conversation going with.

"Great, I am apparently a Gypsy too. Except, Both my Parents were Seinor Citizens most of my life. Hell, my father was 52 at my conception of that consummation. As I stated in Part One of my Autism Tutorial Animation, "Dude! Have your children before like 40 or 50."

Lots of the things he says, especially the older, less violent and insane stuff always makes me think of that "Thurman Merman" kid from "Bad Santa"... especially this quote from the movie:

"Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut, so it won't be my bad thing."
 
"My blood is not made of gravy."

It's more the way he said this that made it so funny for me. I also like the good old fashioned "Heartaches hurt. Think about that." signoff from the Damien Antara video.
 
"Call me by the real name that God and the Bear gave to me at Regency Square Mall in 1989 you Damn Mocking Bastards! "

I think the delivery makes this one, literally seething with autistic rage...
 
CWICKQUARTER said:
"Call me by the real name that God and the Bear gave to me at Regency Square Mall in 1989 you Damn Mocking Bastards! "

I think the delivery makes this one, literally seething with autistic rage...
Click to expand...

I will always wonder why in the HELL it was okay in his mind for the bear to change his name- he can't even stand an arm color change. I also wonder if Borb gave enough of a shit to protest his changing it. That whole situation is autism turbo.
 
Billy Boy said:
It is one of the most autistic things he has said lately, certainly.
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It comes across like he's taken shut the hell up and shut the fuck up to be distinct sayings with distinct meanings instead of just two different ways to intensify shut up.
Plus sticking the "and" in there like the the hell or the fuck are nouns or something instead of adverbial phrases... So yeah, trying to take swearing literally? So autistic I can barely even.
 
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