Chris' funniest one-liner

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IncinerateChicken said:
"I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS"

You just can't top that one. Especially since there's no context for him to have said that. He's just like, "Well, you know what, BILLY MAYS? I shit myself."
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When Chris is accused of failing or acting weirdly, he never has a success he can point to to argue against the accusation.

But sometimes he has another failure he can point to which contradicts the accusation. You better believe he will lean on those and say "I didn't fuck up in the way you said I did because I was too busy fucking up in in another way. So there. Hmph. Sonichu. Tomgirl. Lesbians."
 
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timtommy said:
When Chris is accused of failing or acting weirdly, he never has a success he can point to to argue against the accusation.

But sometimes he has another failure he can point to which contradicts the accusation. You better believe he will lean on those and say "I didn't fuck up in the way you said I did because I was to busy fucking up in in another way. So there. Hmph. Sonichu. Tomgirl. Lesbians."
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Chris said:
And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".
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You can just hear the "so there!" in his head...
 
IncinerateChicken said:
"I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS"

You just can't top that one. Especially since there's no context for him to have said that. He's just like, "Well, you know what, BILLY MAYS? I shit myself."
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Actually, there was. Clyde and Billy Mays were goading him about wearing his mom's underwear and Chris decided the best way of proving that assertion wrong was by saying that he had men's underpants, lots of them, that oh by the way he poops in. Because autism, I don't really know. To this day no one really understands why he volunteered that information.
 
IncinerateChicken said:
"I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS"

You just can't top that one. Especially since there's no context for him to have said that. He's just like, "Well, you know what, BILLY MAYS? I shit myself."
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That's also a good one. Chris-chan is so consistently inconsistent in his ridiculousness. That's what made him so interesting.
 
"Come on, guys," (slaps chest, covered only by sports bra) "NOBODY WANT'S TO SEE THESE NIPS!"
 
"A CHIPMUNK'S BOUNTY OF BANANAS", mainly because no one but Chris has any fucking idea what it means. It ranks up there with "Merried Seinor Comic" and "You don't have to tell me twice! But in the Stone Age..."
 
"I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me!", he says this after flailing his arms and legs around like a wounded animal.

There's also the part from Chris Loses It where he sounds like one of the Three Stooges while he rolls onto the ground.
 
Well, there's a new gem he just crafted for us, "Chipmunk's"-

Ho Mo for Women said:
"A CHIPMUNK'S BOUNTY OF BANANAS"
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Goddamnit :(

Anyway, my vote goes to "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in." What really makes it stick out to me is it's not something stupid he said off the cuff, it's a Facebook post. Meaning he had time to plan that, type it, read it, and presumably think "Yeah, that sounds clever. I'll put that up for people to see."
 
ChinIsDead said:
Anyway, my vote goes to "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in." What really makes it stick out to me is it's not something stupid he said off the cuff, it's a Facebook post. Meaning he had time to plan that, type it, read it, and presumably think "Yeah, that sounds clever. I'll put that up for people to see."
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He doesn't tend to edit the shit he writes. And it doesn't seem like he plans them that much either. In the Rebeckah emails, he kept on saying offensive things and then apologizing right after in the same message instead of deleting them.

He is very lazy and egotistical, but I think his stance against editing goes a little deeper. It is not as TRUE and HONEST if you go back and change things instead of just sending the first thing that comes out.
 
Hello Skinny said:
What is this from?
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stoneage.jpg

No, it doesn't make any more sense in context.
 
Axiom said:
Actually, there was. Clyde and Billy Mays were goading him about wearing his mom's underwear and Chris decided the best way of proving that assertion wrong was by saying that he had men's underpants, lots of them, that oh by the way he poops in. Because autism, I don't really know. To this day no one really understands why he volunteered that information.
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The best theory is that he thought that by volunteering too much info, he would give people sensory overload and they would leave him alone. That's the most logical explanation anyone can come up with.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
The best theory is that he thought that by volunteering too much info, he would give people sensory overload and they would leave him alone. That's the most logical explanation anyone can come up with.
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Maybe he thought that noone would admit to crapping their pants if it wasn't true. He thought if he had just said "no, I wear men's underwear", it would be perceived as a lie.

Or he was throwing them a distraction. Something else to make fun of him about because the women's underwear bothered him a lot.

Or he is just dumb and has no filter.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
The best theory is that he thought that by volunteering too much info, he would give people sensory overload and they would leave him alone. That's the most logical explanation anyone can come up with.
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He did the same with ED. He figure that flooding it with "positivity" would cause everyone to explode and delete the "negative."

Also... "I have some ideas on how to pleasure you... *eyes bulge* orally"
 
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