Chris Pumpkin Shit

[A-№1]

Something just occurred to me.

Is it possible these purchases and posts are Chris laying the groundwork for something bigger? Could he be trying to make it seem more likely ahead of time for a "troll" to send him a new PS4 in order to disguise that purchase when he inevitably buys one?

Or is that too cunning and forward thinking for Chris?

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Something just occurred to me.

Is it possible these purchases and posts are Chris laying the groundwork for something bigger? Could he be trying to make it seem more likely ahead of time for a "troll" to send him a new PS4 in order to disguise that purchase when he inevitably buys one?

Or is that too cunning and forward thinking for Chris?

It's possible. With some assistance from Bob, he embarked on the entire "Trollin' Train" crusade, which involved him writing the bizarre "Coffee Place" article and claiming to be a 14-year-old runaway homosexual gang-rape victim that communed with the dead.

I suppose somebody like Waterhead or "Megan" could be planting these seeds in his head, but Chris sometimes surprises us.

 

[Some JERK]

Something just occurred to me.

Is it possible these purchases and posts are Chris laying the groundwork for something bigger? Could he be trying to make it seem more likely ahead of time for a "troll" to send him a new PS4 in order to disguise that purchase when he inevitably buys one?

Or is that too cunning and forward thinking for Chris?

Now there's a thought I hadn't considered.

It does seem pretty sophisticated for Chris though, but remember that this is the guy who made 100 fake email accounts in order to stuff the ballot box of a competition, and made fake websites proclaiming himself the victor for some possible dishonest end.

 

[NiggoFiggo]

At first i thought it was a try hard troll but like some of you said i think chris bought these himself and posting them online so the people who leave gifts in his yard know what to leave now. Buying that Halloween skylander around the time of the holiday is something chris would do

 

[Smutley]

Something just occurred to me.

Is it possible these purchases and posts are Chris laying the groundwork for something bigger? Could he be trying to make it seem more likely ahead of time for a "troll" to send him a new PS4 in order to disguise that purchase when he inevitably buys one?

Or is that too cunning and forward thinking for Chris?

Now there's a thought I hadn't considered.

It does seem pretty sophisticated for Chris though, but remember that this is the guy who made 100 fake email accounts in order to stuff the ballot box of a competition, and made fake websites proclaiming himself the victor for some possible dishonest end.

What is making me lean more and more in this direction is the damp Sonic DVD someone left as tribute in his yard. No way did HE put it out there, but he was so bemused by the event that he kind of lashed out at fans for "being weird". That's a very consistent Chris reaction. Being elated about toys and thanking people? That's completely out of the norm.

But maybe an idea popped into his lumpy potato head, the idea that, "If trolls throw DVDs in my yard and I complained to mom about it before we watched it, she'd believe that people would mail me stuff from Amazon when I spend my tugboat on it."

Especially if it did legit come from Amazon, you can't "gift" someone something unless you have access to their wishlist (I believe), which means you would need to just have it shipped to their house, and would include the originators name and address on the internal packing slip.

 

[Spork]

He's definitely lying to someone about this stuff. Maybe Barb or maybe the trolls.

It can't be Barb. There wouldn't be a reason for him to post about it on Facebook, then.

Hypothesis 1: This is a dumb roundabout way of saying "Here is the sort of thing I like. Please anonymously send me stuff like this instead of random crap I don't want/already have."
Hypothesis 2: He's trying to trick his trolls into sending him crap he wants but can't buy because court fees or something.
Hypothesis 3: Someone he knows online got on his case about his spending recently, and he's trying to pass off his purchases as "troll gifts".

 

[_blank_]

He's definitely lying to someone about this stuff. Maybe Barb or maybe the trolls.

It can't be Barb. There wouldn't be a reason for him to post about it on Facebook, then.

Hypothesis 1: This is a dumb roundabout way of saying "Here is the sort of thing I like. Please anonymously send me stuff like this instead of random crap I don't want/already have."
Hypothesis 2: He's trying to trick his trolls into sending him crap he wants but can't buy because court fees or something.
Hypothesis 3: Someone he knows online got on his case about his spending recently, and he's trying to pass off his purchases as "troll gifts".

I'm really starting to wonder about just how much Barb is monitoring his Facebook stuff though. I mean I realize she doesn't use a computer, but at the same time, I wonder if he now has to show what he's posting and that might be why he doesn't whine about her anymore after the court's decision.

Back on topic, I really wonder though if he is just having this stuff mailed to him and posting it as more troll gifts, thinking Barb won't be paying attention to where his tugboat is going. It wouldn't be the first time he tried to pull a fast one on his parent(s) financially.

 

[Coldgrip]

I really think this is just Chris buying toys for himself and telling his mommy that the twolls/fans sent it when Blarb asks about the packages arriving at their house.

I'm really starting to wonder about just how much Barb is monitoring his Facebook stuff though. I mean I realize she doesn't use a computer, but at the same time, I wonder if he now has to show what he's posting and that might be why he doesn't whine about her anymore after the court's decision.

I doubt she monitors what Fatty is posting, but because they do spend practically the entire day in the same room she probably either glances at the screen from time to time (assuming she can see it from where she parked her fat ass) or she'll ask him what he's doing. Not out of any genuine interest but because he's all she has to talk to.

 

[Bugaboo]

I think Chris has delevoped a split personality that buys his skylanders and dvds of french cartoons.

 

[impossibility]

Huh, I came into this thread thinking he was showing off some CWC-o'lanterns he poorly carved out of some pumpkins or something. A Sonichu Jack o'lantern would be hilariously ugly.

 

[Some JERK]

But maybe an idea popped into his lumpy potato head, the idea that, "If trolls throw DVDs in my yard and I complained to mom about it before we watched it, she'd believe that people would mail me stuff from Amazon when I spend my tugboat on it."

I think that the Sonic DVDs were legit thrown on his lawn by someone else, but then Chris got the idea (for whatever reason) to buy stuff for himself and blame it on the trolls. Either to prove to his HS friends that he has "fans", or to just have an excuse to buy stuff for himself. Or like A-No1 said, as a cover-story to the eventual appearance of his life-upgrade-upgrade. But there's no way to know at the moment. Shit, for all we know this is a revenge move and Megan is sending him this shit anonymously so she can pop up later and say "I bought you all this stuff! You owe ME now, bitch!!"

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I like the idea that Chris is paving the way for "trolls bought me a Playstation 4".

Yes, he is incredibly short-sighted most of the time, but the Quad is his life upgrade upgrade. His brain will not only find a way to justify it, but also find a way to defend it once he has it.

That said, in the short term, neither weens nor white knights are sending him toys and games. He's buying shit for himself, I guarantee it. Maybe he's finally catching on that he can't effectively get sympathy for being "poor" while at the same time dropping hundreds on toys?

 

[A-№1]

I like the idea that Chris is paving the way for "trolls bought me a Playstation 4".

Yes, he is incredibly short-sighted most of the time, but the Quad is his life upgrade upgrade. His brain will not only find a way to justify it, but also find a way to defend it once he has it.

I admit the big flaw in the theory is just how unlikely this sort of cunningly forward thinking is for Chris. However, if there is one thing that will motivate him to this sort of conceptual leap, it's the PS4. Certainly he'd never do it for something as mundane as actually improving his life.

This may also have been one of his motivations (in addition to the free shirt etc.) for entering that charity a week or so ago. He might have been planning to pretend his new PS4 was a prize awarded for his participation, but had to cancel that plan once he finally realized that that's something that could be researched and debunked.

That said, in the short term, neither weens nor white knights are sending him toys and games. He's buying shit for himself, I guarantee it. Maybe he's finally catching on that he can't effectively get sympathy for being "poor" while at the same time dropping hundreds on toys?

That may very well be the answer to the big mystery of why Chris would bother to try to deceive the internets about his selfish toy purchases. Certainly it's not to fool Barb. However I don't think this is something he "caught on". I suspect it's probably something he's been repeatedly told outright by various people: white knights, ass patters, high school facebook friends, and "trolls", and Chris finally bothered to listen (again only because the potential PS4 makes it worth his while to).

I guess we'll find out after the PS4 release date (some time in November I think) when Chris gets his mitts on one "courtesy of the trolls".

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

You know how people get drunk and order stuff online only to forget about it? Chris is reaching a level of stupid where it happens to him sober.

He's going to open a credit card bill soon and say "Yeah... wait, what?"

 

[PvtRichardCranium]

What's gonna happen when Chris spends more than he has in his account though?

It's completely possible to do that, even when you're on tugboat, and what happens with my bank (if he put the money in a certain bank, I don't know how they all handle this) will charge you the amount you payed when you overpayed, plus the amount something cost from your next payment. So, say Chris buys a PS4, that's like, let's just say 400$ (I don't really care how much it costs and I'm not trying to start a console war here, just speaking hypothetically), but he only had 200$. So not only does he pay 400$, 200 of which he doesn't have, but the next time he buys something like food or something, he pays, say, 5 dollars for a sandwich, and 200 extra dollars gets charged to his account by the bank due to the amount he overpayed on the PS4.

What'll happen after that? Will he call the banks trolls? Suicide? Barb takes complete control of the funds, then suicide?

 

[Thetan]

I like the idea that Chris is paving the way for "trolls bought me a Playstation 4".

Yes, he is incredibly short-sighted most of the time, but the Quad is his life upgrade upgrade. His brain will not only find a way to justify it, but also find a way to defend it once he has it.

I admit the big flaw in the theory is just how unlikely this sort of cunningly forward thinking is for Chris. However, if there is one thing that will motivate him to this sort of conceptual leap, it's the PS4. Certainly he'd never do it for something as mundane as actually improving his life.

This may also have been one of his motivations (in addition to the free shirt etc.) for entering that charity a week or so ago. He might have been planning to pretend his new PS4 was a prize awarded for his participation, but had to cancel that plan once he finally realized that that's something that could be researched and debunked.

That said, in the short term, neither weens nor white knights are sending him toys and games. He's buying shit for himself, I guarantee it. Maybe he's finally catching on that he can't effectively get sympathy for being "poor" while at the same time dropping hundreds on toys?

That may very well be the answer to the big mystery of why Chris would bother to try to deceive the internets about his selfish toy purchases. Certainly it's not to fool Barb. However I don't think this is something he "caught on". I suspect it's probably something he's been repeatedly told outright by various people: white knights, ass patters, high school facebook friends, and "trolls", and Chris finally bothered to listen (again only because the potential PS4 makes it worth his while to).

I guess we'll find out after the PS4 release date (some time in November I think) when Chris gets his mitts on one "courtesy of the trolls".

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games. If Barb is keeping an eye on the Chandler Household's finances, it will be interesting to see how Chris is going to account for a "missing" $400 - $500 dollars. This is sure to be the cause of some tension between him and Barb.

The Kim, who's commenting on his posts is also the person who took Chris out to Applebees for karaoke, and to have his first alcoholic drink. They've known each other for quite a while and she's potentially a fairly reliable source of information. If she's calling bullshit, she probably knows something.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

I feel like someone could ruin Chris's day with an empty PS4 box and some broken electronic parts. He'd want to believe so hard...

 

[Thetan]

He has a wish list on Amazon, but it hasn't been updated since November 2012.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2S82DXH8LYYK7/ref=cm_wl_sortbar_v_page_1

 

[Descent]

Would Chris even order his PS4 online? He'd probably want to get it from a store so he could have it as soon as possible.
If he did get it online, it'd be a shame if something were to happened to that package

 

[MrTroll]

That said, in the short term, neither weens nor white knights are sending him toys and games. He's buying shit for himself, I guarantee it. Maybe he's finally catching on that he can't effectively get sympathy for being "poor" while at the same time dropping hundreds on toys?

If that was the case, wouldn't it make more sense to just not post about his latest acquisitions at all? We only know how much he's been spending and on what when he goes out of his way to tell us. Unless, of course, he really, REALLY wants to brag about these particular Legos/Skylanders (out of the hundreds he already owns), but doesn't want to cop to buying them for the reason you suggested.