Chris Pumpkin Shit

[IanBrannanSOMETHING]

As far as I know, this figure is a store exclusive, either Target or Wal-Mart. It's a limited edition figurine and so I'm certain he bought from an Amazon seller... Meaning if he did buy it on Amazon, there's a 99.9% chance he's paid above the odds.

 

[applecat]

On the bright side, it will be pretty difficult for Chris to get himself banned from Amazon.

 

[CWCissey]

Expect to see a new Facebook post about Commando on DVD in 3-4 days.

Or a Smiths album.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Great. Chris now has more plastic shit to add to his hoard. Maybe instead he can buy himself new clothes? Or a haircut? Or a therapist...?

Oh, and like the Delorean picture I notice he's using his Asus laptop and yellow mailer as a back drop. Is he still trying to hide how shitty his living space looks??

 

[CWCissey]

Great. Chris now has more plastic shit to add to his hoard. Maybe instead he can buy himself new clothes? Or a haircut? Or a therapist...?

Oh, and like the Delorean picture I notice he's using his Asus laptop and yellow mailer as a back drop. Is he still trying to hide how shitty his living space looks??

Maybe he's trying to hide Barb?

 

[Dormiebasne]

Expect to see a new Facebook post about Commando on DVD in 3-4 days.

Or a Smiths album.

I get the feeling he'd take a shine to "Suffer Little Children", but he'd misunderstand which "Manchester" Morrissey was making reference to...

The thought of Chris being a Smiths fan is the one thing that would be funnier/stranger than Morrissey's ENORMOUS Latino fan-base.

 

[Golly]

What if gift troll is just social services/the jerkops trying to lure Chris out of his natural habitat for a talk/get him into some kind of intensive therapy program. Think about it: Chris is very skittish around authority figures these days, even when they try to make it known to him that they aren't going to hurt him. I'm imagining it like luring a stray kitten to your house or something: leave food out for the kitten to find, then place it closer to the house little by little. Eventually, you'll be able to pet the cat/place food directly in front of it without running away.

In Chris's case, the toys would be placed closer and closer to some kind of therapy center and maybe, in time, the timid manchild will be alright with them enough to shake the therapist's hand (before retreating to the back corner of the room with a Sonic action figure)!

 

[NiggoFiggo]

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games. If Barb is keeping an eye on the Chandler Household's finances, it will be interesting to see how Chris is going to account for a "missing" $400 - $500 dollars. This is sure to be the cause of some tension between him and Barb.

Ah, but this is where Chris is smarter than mortals like you and I.

He'll just get another credit card and put the quad on that. They hand out 4-digit limits like candy these days. And Fatty has always been good about paying the bare minimum monthly fee on his cards. And honestly, who cares what happens to his finances six months or a year later when he can have his quad now?

Honestly thats just sad when you think about it, Chris is so hardwired for instant satisfaction that he will ignore all the negatives to live in the right now.

 

[Thetan]

The Kim, who's commenting on his posts is also the person who took Chris out to Applebees for karaoke, and to have his first alcoholic drink. They've known each other for quite a while and she's potebtially a fairly reliable source of information. If she's calling bullshit, she probably knows something.

Wait, are you saying that [cwc]Faeryn[/cwc] is [cwc]Kim[/cwc]?

No, there was something in the original (huge) Facebook leak where Chris referred to Kim as being the person behind the "Scarlet Sanctum" YouTube account. She's the person that shot the video of Chris at Applebees, enjoying a Long Island Iced Tea and "singing" karaoke. This was, to my knowledge anyway, before Faeryn.

You can check out her YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum/videos

 

[CWCissey]

Expect to see a new Facebook post about Commando on DVD in 3-4 days.

Or a Smiths album.

I get the feeling he'd take a shine to "Suffer Little Children", but he'd misunderstand which "Manchester" Morrissey was making reference to...

The thought of Chris being a Smiths fan is the one thing that would be funnier/stranger than Morrissey's ENORMOUS Latino fan-base.

Oh he will, as far as Chris is concerned, the only TRUE and HONEST Manchester is his high school. I can see him saying that the song is about him though. Somehow implying that what he's going through is worse than the Moors Murders.

But I really think we need to get Chris into The Smiths. At least then he'll have ONE redeeming feature.

It would be a lot more lulzy than Tomgirl Chris anyway.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games.

Why would he ever need two controllers?

 

[CWCissey]

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games.

Why would he ever need two controllers?

One for him and one for Sonichu of course!

 

[LM 697]

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games.

Why would he ever need two controllers?

One to play video games with and one to stick up his ass because they vibrate.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

The release date is November 15th, and the basic system price is around $400. For about $100 more, you can get a "complete kit" with 2 duo shock controllers, and a couple of games.

Why would he ever need two controllers?

One for him and one for Sonichu of course!

*thumps head* YES! And then his sweetheart-to-be-ground-up! She'll need one when she finally meets Chris and gives him his God Promised and the Bear children and office job!

 

[Tubular Monkey]

One to play video games with and one to stick up his ass because they vibrate.

Oh you.

 

[CWCissey]

One for him and one for Sonichu of course!

*thumps head* YES! And then his sweetheart-to-be-ground-up! She'll need one when she finally meets Chris and gives him his God Promised and the Bear children and office job!

Exactly! I said that Chris was a tactical genius in another thread, this just proves it!

Now to think of a CWCified version of 'Ender's Game'!

 

[Cid Highwind]

Chris is buying this shit himself. Personally, as someone who has seriously considered sending Chris some gifts in the mail, I never ever considered buying him something he'd fucking want. That will not generate a funny reaction. If it was actually a troll, it would be something like pickles, x box games, a dildo, buttplugs, anything that would generate a facebook rant filled with Chris' unique brand of tard fucking rage.

Nobody would spend money on Chris to irritate the forum. Anyone who does that, the joke is on them. We get content, however insignificant, and they lose money. Hell, I actually kind of like that scenario even more than what the reality of the situation obviously is!

 

[Varis]

Wait, are you saying that [cwc]Faeryn[/cwc] is [cwc]Kim[/cwc]?

No, there was something in the original (huge) Facebook leak where Chris referred to Kim as being the person behind the "Scarlet Sanctum" YouTube account. She's the person that shot the video of Chris at Applebees, enjoying a Long Island Iced Tea and "singing" karaoke. This was, to my knowledge anyway, before Faeryn.

You can check out her YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum/videos

Ahhh. I thought there was only one Night Out event. Mah bad.

 

[Bugaboo]

As far as I know, this figure is a store exclusive, either Target or Wal-Mart. It's a limited edition figurine and so I'm certain he bought from an Amazon seller... Meaning if he did buy it on Amazon, there's a 99.9% chance he's paid above the odds.

Nope, I saw this figure in a Gamestop. But it is limited edition so unless he bought it in a store it's going to be more than the 14 dollars it cost at Gamestop.

 

[Pikonic]

Chris is buying this shit himself. Personally, as someone who has seriously considered sending Chris some gifts in the mail, I never ever considered buying him something he'd fucking want. That will not generate a funny reaction. If it was actually a troll, it would be something like pickles, x box games, a dildo, buttplugs, anything that would generate a facebook rant filled with Chris' unique brand of tard fucking rage.

Nobody would spend money on Chris to irritate the forum. Anyone who does that, the joke is on them. We get content, however insignificant, and they lose money. Hell, I actually kind of like that scenario even more than what the reality of the situation obviously is!

You wanna spend money on Chris? Buy a pack of index cards. Everyday send him an index card saying Sonic is dead and one penny for a year. You'll get just as much content for about 7$.