LGBT Chris' Taint

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Oh fuck! I'm sure this has been said, but cleaning your piercing with alcohol is actually much worse than doing nothing at all. Alcohol dries up the skin and actually makes healing take longer, same with most soaps. Chris is going to have one flaky taint. :surprised:

So... does he plan on scissoring a girl with his taint... or?
 
spaghetti said:
Oh fuck! I'm sure this has been said, but cleaning your piercing with alcohol is actually much worse than doing nothing at all. Alcohol dries up the skin and actually makes healing take longer, same with most soaps. Chris is going to have one flaky taint. :surprised:
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I'm not even going to ask HOW you know this.
 
Rubbing alcohol....on a brand new piercing....still getting over that one...
I know he deserves no sympathy whatsoever for this, his reasons for getting the piercing are selfish and stupid (:alog: ) but.....am I the only one who really really wants to send him some proper piercing care supplies? Like some sea salt solution like H2Ocean or maybe some saline rinse spray or....just something? Cause he clearly has no idea that what he's doing is wrong and there's no adult who gives a crap enough to intervene...I wouldn't wish an infected piercing on anybody, that shit sucks and to have an infection THERE...:cryblood:
 
Lalala said:
Rubbing alcohol....on a brand new piercing....still getting over that one... I know he deserves no sympathy whatsoever for this, his reasons for getting the piercing are selfish and stupid (:alog: ) but.....am I the only one who really really wants to send him some proper piercing care supplies? Like some sea salt solution like H2Ocean or maybe some saline rinse spray or....just something? Cause he clearly has no idea that what he's doing is wrong and there's no adult who gives a crap enough to intervene...I wouldn't wish an infected piercing on anybody, that shit sucks and to have an infection THERE...:cryblood:
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Don't waste your time. He'd just throw out the care package and complain it didn't have Legos in it. Or teeth. Or Lego teeth.
 
Lalala said:
Rubbing alcohol....on a brand new piercing....still getting over that one...
I know he deserves no sympathy whatsoever for this, his reasons for getting the piercing are selfish and stupid (:alog: ) but.....am I the only one who really really wants to send him some proper piercing care supplies? Like some sea salt solution like H2Ocean or maybe some saline rinse spray or....just something? Cause he clearly has no idea that what he's doing is wrong and there's no adult who gives a crap enough to intervene...I wouldn't wish an infected piercing on anybody, that shit sucks and to have an infection THERE...:cryblood:
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We've tried sending packages of aid before...the aid was converted to LEGOs and here we are...
 
Ry-Guy said:
Don't waste your time. He'd just throw out the care package and complain it didn't have Legos in it. Or teeth. Or Lego teeth.
Click to expand...

Damn, thought there was a tiny chance he might actually use it if it was free, forgot who I was talking about for a moment there.
 
spaghetti said:
Oh fuck! I'm sure this has been said, but cleaning your piercing with alcohol is actually much worse than doing nothing at all. Alcohol dries up the skin and actually makes healing take longer, same with most soaps. Chris is going to have one flaky taint. :surprised:

So... does he plan on scissoring a girl with his taint... or?
Click to expand...

The phrase 'one flaky taint' needs to be used around here. Somewhere. Maybe we can make t-shirts or something. I don't know why, but this is hilarious to me.

Also, I don't even think Chris knows how he's going to scissor his heartsweet. It's not like he gives these things much thought and all the sex tapes and chats are pretty clear evidence that Chris's understanding of sexual stuff goes no further than 'Tab A into Slot B'.
 
FramerGirl420 said:
You have 35 pages dedicated to a mans taint. :(
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What about the one topic we had in lulzy family photos about toilet paper brand loyalty when they had the large looking toilet paper roll ( I presumed they shopped at Costco and sorty for going OT )
 
Dean Ween said:
Yeah, I'm with you on this one (although it seems most people on here are vigorously defending the existence of the
pierced taint). The opening line about how he knows
there has not been an update in over month is kind of
telling.
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What exactly led him to that conclusion though? Does he no realize that the forum is far more active then the wiki? He can't be that dumb can he?
 
I want to bring up Chris' personal identification as an "adult" and how this particular event demonstrates his reoccurring duality when it comes to being a child or a grown-up. Chris operates and functions almost entirely as a child, by choice, and has since high school graduation. For the most part Chris rejects adulthood. He has made a few concessions and even found himself actually identifying as an adult, mostly due to a strong desire of his. That desire was sex, and it led to the gooch piercing. Sex and "adult entertainment," whether it's Seth McFarlane cartoons or gory video games, are really the only things that matter to Chris outside of prolonging a carefree childhood. In all actuality, he handles his adult desires much like a small child would. He fantasizes and roleplays alone, with the help of toys that represent the adult role he hopes to "one day" fill when he's already aging into a physical decline, weakening his chances of actualizing his sexual desires. The gooch piercing is yet another toy, or perhaps an accessory to the larger "toy" being himself. He's fashioning himself into the girl he has not been awarded, the "toy" Santa has never brought him, and now his "girl" has a clit. We all know that there's a very small chance that Chris will ever have a healthy, lasting sexual relationship that doesn't involve :tugboat: and sometimes I wonder how aware Chris is of his loneliness lasting his entire life. By becoming a girl in his own eyes, will Chris eventually desire girls less as a way to cope with loneliness? Considering his current "girlfriend" is seemingly absent from Chris' actual life, is Chris even aware that he has no idea how to have an actual relationship with someone who isn't just a collection of e-mails and distant phone calls?

TL;DR: Chris spent $100 dollars of forum user's money to get a crotch infection because Santa never brought him a girlfriend.
 
Axiom said:
OT TMI: I can do it just by thinking about it, no movement required. Not very satisfying except for the fact that it's possible, but not exactly a trick you can pull out at parties. For that, I save my Starburst trick.
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Okay.....now you have piqued my interest. What...pray tell...is 'The Starburst Trick'?
 
My fiance can do that. He double-knots them and everything.

Now, back to Christian and his Amazing Flaky Taint....
 
"Don't buy his commissions he'll only use the money to buy LEGOs."

I don't think anyone predicted
"Don't buy his commissions he'll only use the money to get his taint pierced."
 
The thing is, we all knew that his commission money would go to something stupid. And we all had a mental 'List of Completely Superfluous Shit Chris Will Buy Instead of Barb's Teeth'. Vidya, Lego, McDonalds, porn, pony stuff, women's clothing that doesn't fit, makeup. But of the myriad possibilities of stuff Chrissy was likely to buy with the money, a fucking GENITAL PIERCING probably didn't feature in ANYBODY'S lists.
 
milkshark said:
I want to bring up Chris' personal identification as an "adult" and how this particular event demonstrates his reoccurring duality when it comes to being a child or a grown-up. Chris operates and functions almost entirely as a child, by choice, and has since high school graduation. For the most part Chris rejects adulthood. He has made a few concessions and even found himself actually identifying as an adult, mostly due to a strong desire of his. That desire was sex, and it led to the gooch piercing. Sex and "adult entertainment," whether it's Seth McFarlane cartoons or gory video games, are really the only things that matter to Chris outside of prolonging a carefree childhood. In all actuality, he handles his adult desires much like a small child would. He fantasizes and roleplays alone, with the help of toys that represent the adult role he hopes to "one day" fill when he's already aging into a physical decline, weakening his chances of actualizing his sexual desires. The gooch piercing is yet another toy, or perhaps an accessory to the larger "toy" being himself. He's fashioning himself into the girl he has not been awarded, the "toy" Santa has never brought him, and now his "girl" has a clit. We all know that there's a very small chance that Chris will ever have a healthy, lasting sexual relationship that doesn't involve :tugboat: and sometimes I wonder how aware Chris is of his loneliness lasting his entire life. By becoming a girl in his own eyes, will Chris eventually desire girls less as a way to cope with loneliness? Considering his current "girlfriend" is seemingly absent from Chris' actual life, is Chris even aware that he has no idea how to have an actual relationship with someone who isn't just a collection of e-mails and distant phone calls?

TL;DR: Chris spent $100 dollars of forum user's money to get a crotch infection because Santa never brought him a girlfriend.
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To be fair... it's more than $100. It's probably closer to $150-200. I was talking to my piercer friend the day this happened and she said that one she did for a girl cost $210 and then about another $25 for all the cleaning stuff they offered. (Special cleaning supplies, not rubbing alcohol like Chris uses)

To answer your other musings; no, Chris doesn't realize that some day he will be all alone and he will likely die without ever having a wife (unless he starts excepting women who are just like him). No, Chris will never leave the tugboat system. Chris doesn't have sexual desires because of his biological needs, he has them because Chris thinks having sex = being an adult. Chris watches porn and believes that all sex should emulate that porn, and if he's gotten off to it, he feels that it's something he should do with his partner. It doesn't matter that porn sex is vastly different than real sex, Chris has never had a REAL sex scenario. Hooker sex is still not a real sex scenario because you are paying that woman to enlighten a fantasy you don't get with unpaid women.

We haven't heard anything else about this new girlfriend. I'm really really really starting to think that this girl was either a clever troll or she's an OKCupid girl who has now ran away. She's met him IRL which is scary enough and now he's got this new piercing, which can also scare people (look at our reactions, then double that for a girlfriend that would have probably gotten a picture sent to her or something).

TL;DR Chris is Chris and he will always be on... just different forms of odd.
 
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Autism is my business lay-day, and business is goooooood.

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