LGBT Chris' Taint

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Big fat dyke chiming in to tell you this ain't true ;)

Okay, back when I was dating women nobody scissored, but I am old and maybe everyone scissors now. I stand by my conviction that the perineum piercing doesn't make sense anyway.

Also, why scissor? There's plenty of clit complex stimulation to be had from regular old grinding. And I would certainly not scissor with anyone who had a duck.


Edited to add: As usual, Autostraddle has the NOT SAFE FOR WORK answer. My lady friends and I did all the things except "Classic Scissoring," but we called them grinding or frot. I thought scissoring was only "Classic Scissoring" because I am old. From the comments, I'm not alone, I guess.

I just need to check Autostraddle when I am out of touch with the lesbian mainstream! And thanks for the correction. I am super embarrassed to have been wrong.
 
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I'm kind of wondering why he didn't go for a simpler piercing first? Like a nipple piercing or something???

Because he didn't get this piercing for normal reasons. He's not into piercing per se. This is a symbolic clitoris. It's a highly significant way for him to get in touch with his feminine side. I think this far more important to him than the scissoring factor. It's an ersatz sex-change operation; for various reasons he is not interested in the actual surgery.

Moreover, he's already gotten his ears pierced.
 
God, I can recall all the maitenance I had to do when I first got my nose pierced. I shudder to think how Chris is going to manage caring for a genital piercing.

(Any bets on whether or not he'll end up in the hospital with some hideous infection?)
 
(Any bets on whether or not he'll end up in the hospital with some hideous infection?)
That's more-or-less a certainty. Better to bet on when he ends up in the hospital.
 
That leaves the belly button as a good tryout for a first peircing. But his brain likely blew a fuse before he could think of that, so he goes for exceptional individual peircing

In the original e-mails with Jackie where he talked about his Tomgirl adventures, he talks about getting a navel piercing a few times but didn't go through with it because it seemed to be too much of a hassle to go to a tattoo parlor. He had purchased the navel ring and had wanted to get it done at a Piercing Pagoda, but they don't do navel piercings.
 
As a lesbian, I had no idea it was a gay trend to be honest, but then most of the girls I've been with have been rural and/or butch and it probably hasn't made it to this part of the country yet.

As for the taint, it t'aint your balls and it t'aint your asshole.

T'ain't a good idea for Chris to go poking a hole in it.
 
In response to those saying "it will get infected because Chris soils himself" I would say, not necessarily.
I had an anal fissure all through my teenage years, often losing worrying amounts of blood while using the toilet, and the fissure never get infected. I still get it at times. Unless there's some special higher rate of infection for piercings, which I can't comment on.
I know where you are coming from because I have similar problems. But there's a difference. The body can probably fight bacteria from the body better than unknown, outside bacteria mixed with fecal matter. Also, always going to the restroom when you have a tear is similar to "cleaning" it (of course it's not better than good old soap, antiseptic, and water but there is no way of cleaning it that way when a tear is inside you). It's when a person has constipation when infection becomes an issue.

Sorry for going off topic.
 
A clitoral hood piercing amplifies any touch/vibratory sensation that applied to the area. The clitoral shaft piercing even more so. I've heard stories of ladies with this kind of piercing achieving an orgasm simply by riding a motorbike or sitting on a washing machine. The only two caveats to getting it are that it's astonishingly painful (or so I've heard) to get, and if the piercing artist even screws up slightly while doing it, they sever some really important nerve endings and it really numbs the area down.

150% or 50% of nominal input. Roll your dice.

If what I've heard is accurate, many girls can reach orgasm on a washing machine without requiring any piercings.
Some especially gifted and lucky girls can reach orgasm by rubbing their knees together, sliding down a bannister or sneezing.
Multiple orgasms and no refractory period; some girls have all the luck.
 
Okay, back when I was dating women nobody scissored, but I am old and maybe everyone scissors now. I stand by my conviction that the perineum piercing doesn't make sense anyway.

Also, why scissor? There's plenty of clit complex stimulation to be had from regular old grinding. And I would certainly not scissor with anyone who had a duck.


Edited to add: As usual, Autostraddle has the NOT SAFE FOR WORK answer. My lady friends and I did all the things except "Classic Scissoring," but we called them grinding or frot. I thought scissoring was only "Classic Scissoring" because I am old. From the comments, I'm not alone, I guess.

I just need to check Autostraddle when I am out of touch with the lesbian mainstream! And thanks for the correction. I am super embarrassed to have been wrong.

"Pussy is da shit....and we eat it!"
Wow....:wow: wasn't there some more tasteful way to phrase that?
 
If he got this piercing for himself, whatever.

But lord knows nobody but him will ever see it save for photos he takes himself. I can't imagine anybody saying "why yes, Christian, I would love to see your taint piercing." And if Chris thinks the mere fact that he has one ups his chances of scissoring with a lesbian in any way then I'm sorry to break it to you Chris...... It's as though he thinks having one will make a woman wet at the thought and she'll be interested in scissoring him, completely ignoring the rest of his slobby persona.
 
Next up, I am waiting for the announcement that he has had Lego implants so that he can snap on his Lego Mangina, thus fulfilling the Lego-gina Of His Soul. Haters and Kre-O Blocks to the Left and the Back of My Ass!
 
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