LGBT Chris' Taint

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4Macie said:
Chris doesn't have sexual desires because of his biological needs, he has them because Chris thinks having sex = being an adult.
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Chris has never gotten into big fights about being an adult. (Aside from his usual, childish contradictory-ness) He really, really doesn't care about proving his adulthood.

Chris' sexual desires do come from biological sources. He's got a very weak sex drive at this point, but that's because he's fat and unhealthy (and other things, like whatever prescription medications he's on right now).
4Macie said:
Chris watches porn and believes that all sex should emulate that porn, and if he's gotten off to it, he feels that it's something he should do with his partner. It doesn't matter that porn sex is vastly different than real sex, Chris has never had REAL sex. Hooker sex is still not a real sex scenario because you are paying that woman to enlighten a fantasy you don't get with unpaid women.
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Hooker sex is real sex.
 
Marvin said:
Chris has never gotten into big fights about being an adult. (Aside from his usual, childish contradictory-ness) He really, really doesn't care about proving his adulthood.

Chris' sexual desires do come from biological sources. He's got a very weak sex drive at this point, but that's because he's fat and unhealthy (and other things, like whatever prescription medications he's on right now).

Hooker sex is real sex.
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Never said hooker sex isn't real sex. Said sex scenario. Meaning no normal lover is going to do some acts that hookers will (for a price). Like scissor a smelly man with a gooch piercing.
 
4Macie said:
Never said hooker sex isn't real sex. Said sex scenario. Meaning no normal lover is going to do some acts that hookers will (for a price). Like scissor a smelly man with a gooch piercing.
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Well, you said Chris has never had real sex.

But yeah, heh, actually, the idea of Chris hiring a hooker to scissor with him is funny. Though it wouldn't happen. He'd really love the idea, but not $200 love it. (And that's not even considering the possible gross butt-play charge he'd have to pay. Oh man, Chris would get pissy if a hooker surprised him with an extra charge like that.)
 
Marvin said:
Well, you said Chris has never had real sex.

But yeah, heh, actually, the idea of Chris hiring a hooker to scissor with him is funny. Though it wouldn't happen. He'd really love the idea, but not $200 love it. (And that's not even considering the possible gross butt-play charge he'd have to pay. Oh man, Chris would get pissy if a hooker surprised him with an extra charge like that.)
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I apologize if it came off like "Chris has never had sex guys!!" I meant in the "he's never had an actual normal sexual experience".... Unless you know something we don't know about this new girlfriend Marvin. Care to share about that fateful date irl they had?

Edit: oh god I just read the butt play charge part. Why you do this Marvin?
 
4Macie said:
I apologize if it came off like "Chris has never had sex guys!!" I meant in the "he's never had an actual normal sexual experience".... Unless you know something we don't know about this new girlfriend Marvin. Care to share about that fateful date irl they had?
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I don't officially know anything concrete about this girlfriend person or any dates involved. That's my current story damnit. :tomgirl:

(OMG CHRIS GOT A SECRET SONICHU TATTOO BECAUSE OF HER)

(Not really)
 
Marvin said:
I don't officially know anything concrete about this girlfriend person or any dates involved. That's my current story damnit. :tomgirl:

(OMG CHRIS GOT A SECRET SONICHU TATTOO BECAUSE OF HER)

(Not really)
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These lies are why we can't have nice things Marvin.

I think after this taint thing nothing Chris does will ever surprise me again. Read Chris got a tattoo and was like "oh. That all? meh"
 
4Macie said:
These lies are why we can't have nice things Marvin.

I think after this taint thing nothing Chris does will ever surprise me again. Read Chris got a tattoo and was like "oh. That all? meh"
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See, I know what you're feeling, but we thought the same thing when we heard Chris and his mother ran a man over with their car, panicked and drove off.

Or that Chris burned his house down with a coffee maker plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom.
 
Marvin said:
See, I know what you're feeling, but we thought the same thing when we heard Chris and his mother ran a man over with their car, panicked and drove off.

Or that Chris burned his house down with a coffee maker plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom.
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Wait, what? Chris and his mother ran over someone?

I'm looking through the wiki but I find nothing about that.
 
Marvin said:
See, I know what you're feeling, but we thought the same thing when we heard Chris and his mother ran a man over with their car, panicked and drove off.

Or that Chris burned his house down with a coffee maker plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom.
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That's the appeal of following his antics. It's like a reality Tv show, but better because it's true and honest crazy content. I honestly can't imagine what might come next, but I look forward to the entertainment
 
Marvin said:
See, I know what you're feeling, but we thought the same thing when we heard Chris and his mother ran a man over with their car, panicked and drove off.

Or that Chris burned his house down with a coffee maker plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom.
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But the trolls made him do those things, Marvin! Vehicular assault, arson, piercing crimes against humanity--the trolls are respons....oh.

Wait.

Nevermind.
 
I think the only reason I've been able to get through this without retching is that I have classes that involve human disection. Compared to that one poor girl who happened to get her dead uncle as a subject in human anatomy, this actually isn't that bad. Granted, we haven't seen him waddle back to the one who did this with a massive goddamn sore yet.
 
Marvin said:
See, I know what you're feeling, but we thought the same thing when we heard Chris and his mother ran a man over with their car, panicked and drove off.

Or that Chris burned his house down with a coffee maker plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom.
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I get that.. but I mean really. Pierced taint... what goes further than that? Double Pierced taint? Chris getting a taint ladder? (multiple piercings that make it resemble a ladder of metal). It'll have to be something HUUUUGE; like Chris raping/murdering someone or actually getting a gender reassignment surgery or something. Maybe if he comes out and says he had sex with a man who used to be a woman. But other than that, everything else is just going to be "typical boring Chris" antics. I'm ok with that.... I'm just numb now.

garbodor said:
Wait, what? Chris and his mother ran over someone?

I'm looking through the wiki but I find nothing about that.
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Don't know if you're serious.... Look up October 28th in the wiki and you'll surely find it.
 
Marvin said:
I don't officially know anything concrete about this girlfriend person or any dates involved. That's my current story damnit. :tomgirl:

(OMG CHRIS GOT A SECRET SONICHU TATTOO BECAUSE OF HER)

(Not really)
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If Chris ever gets a Sonichu tat, it's going to go across his face, Tyson style.
 
There are plenty of things that Chris could do to shock the boards without having to sink further into the depths of depravity.
Chris gets tired of having no money and being bullied by his mom and gets a J-O-B, Chris makes a male friend in person who isn't a troll, Chris moves away from his crazed mother and with another relative, Chris gets legitimately involved with a social organization like a church and starts cleaning up parks and shit, Chris starts seeing a licensed psychiatrist for real, or... dare I say it? Chris reveals that he's been working on Sonichu in secret and dumps about 4 issues onto the Internet.
 
Want to make bets on how long it is until Chris complains on Facebook the massive pain he's in? I imagine that with the allegedly back-alley place that did it, Chris' poor hygiene, and the generally risky, painful area it's in, he's hurting now. :cryblood:

General Juicer said:
Chris gets tired of having no money and being bullied by his mom and gets a J-O-B, Chris makes a male friend in person who isn't a troll, Chris moves away from his crazed mother and with another relative
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Cole, nor any of Bob's extended family, is going to take Chris in. Sorry.
 
4Macie said:
I get that.. but I mean really. Pierced taint... what goes further than that? Double Pierced taint? Chris getting a taint ladder? (multiple piercings that make it resemble a ladder of \M/ETAL). It'll have to be something HUUUUGE; like Chris raping/murdering someone or actually getting a gender reassignment surgery or something. Maybe if he comes out and says he had sex with a man who used to be a woman. But other than that, everything else is just going to be "typical boring Chris" antics. I'm ok with that.... I'm just numb now.
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I'm not ruling those things out... Also what General Juicer said.
 
Never think that you've seen the worst of Chris. There's always more to come. I'm personally going with him deciding he's invisible.
 
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